| 12/27/2007 10:53:06 AM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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I started a similar thread over in sex and dating and I am not having anyone answer.
I notice people for the most part don't want to talk abour serious issues on here and the two times that I tried to post serious issues, I got beaten up by those who don't like it.
I was beaten severely and repeatedly by an evil sadistic father who just loved to inflict pain. I had a cold distant alcoholic mother. As a result, I have grown up being just the opposite. I am truly a gentle and loving man who seeks to help others. I have been labeled a fraud and a con on the other site. I am not and I think that it would be good for others to tell their story and how they have overcome adversity. Or perhaps like so many others, you thought that it was a shameful secret that you could not talk about. Here is your chance to do it hopefully with others being supportive.
And to the bashers, I am respectfully requesting that you go bash someone else now and leave this thread alone please.
Finally, I have helped several others in private emails of the record and in complete confidentiality. It has ranged from discussions about abuse, it also included several women with some profound sexual dysfunction usually associated with abuse.
John
[Edited 12/27/2007 3:23:50 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 10:58:56 AM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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I was in an abusive relationship which finally ended with him trying to kill all of my children, I knew then I had had enough. So I walked away and have been trying to live my life in peace, which has for the most part worked, with the exception of having to look over my shoulder to see if he is there, it has been 5 years, and I haven't seen or heard from him, Thank God! but I will never know for sure. I have tried in those 5 years to make myself be strong and with the help of my family it seems to be working. It is not something I like to talk about a lot, I have moved on.
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| 12/27/2007 11:11:15 AM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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Never was abused
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| 12/27/2007 11:12:28 AM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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kellyleed
Sumter, SC
age: 35
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The type of abuse I had, I will never recover from.
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| 12/27/2007 1:22:48 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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you never really recover. you will always distrust others until they earn your trust and still there is always a little piece of you that doubts. all you can do is try to move on with your life and do the best you can with what is left of it.
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| 12/27/2007 1:24:08 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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rockymtnfeva
Las Vegas, NV
age: 50
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Kill this thread, this is dating site, not a visit to the psycho 
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| 12/27/2007 1:25:33 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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kellyleed
Sumter, SC
age: 35
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Lots of threads should be killed on this site
At least this one has a purpose to it unlike the
I chose this person to hate today threads.
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| 12/27/2007 1:41:38 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
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I divorced mine. While I was still married to him it made all the past hurts the present. The only way to make it the past was to walk away and forgive. Those are dark days I don't like to think about. I forgive because it serves no purpose to hate, that only hurts me. I have to be the example for my child...forgiving is best. Doesn't mean I forget for a second and yes it takes me forever and a day to truly trust someone...haven't met anyone that has earned that yet though.
Like one of the ladies mentioned, you never fully recover, it is always there. I'm certainly more leary around people, very watchful. If I've learned anything, I hope it is to not be someone elses doormat for the sake of being a nice person. Guess that is why I stay to myself...can't get hurt that way.
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| 12/27/2007 3:26:38 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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rocky:
I have respectfully asked the bashers to leave this site alone. These are sensitive issues for a lot of people. Your neanderthal approach is not welcome. You just reinforce poor male stereotypes about men. If you have nothing positive to add, don't show your ass by showing negative comments that are not helpful or welcome.
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| 12/27/2007 3:31:30 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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ayoung50
Rochester, NY
age: 50
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Many types of abuse- physical is obvious. The mental and emotional are the ones not so.
And what do they have to do with dating?- You are who your past makes you and thats what the other people are dating.
John- you certainly didn't have it easy.
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| 12/27/2007 3:45:23 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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Young50:
There are tons of threads on here that have nothing to do with dating like who has the prettiest eyes or what kind of panties do you like.
Again you are coming on being negative. For all you people who are too shallow to see, abuse in your past has a profound effect on a person's ability to form new relationships and date. This thread is a relationship thread. If you don't like what is being printed on here, back away and go elsewhere without leaving your negative comments that screw it up for those who really want to be on here. It is unconscionable to be this negative on here.
John
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| 12/27/2007 3:52:03 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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vintagesk8r
Anola, MB
age: 58
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TigerLady is right - it effects every relationship. I got away from an abusive and demeaning mother over 30 years ago but it still means a reluctance to trust and a sensitivity to criticism of a personal nature. Anyone I go out with need to understand that if we are going to have any kind of meaningful relationship.
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| 12/27/2007 4:09:22 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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keltic1der
Clinton Township, MI
age: 38
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Some people may not be willing to share what has happened to them in the past or just recently. There are things I believe in everyone's past, some worse then others. I know personally, my past is my past, I live with it every day and the only people I would share it with are really, really good friends or the lady I am involved with.
Maybe others feel the same way?
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| 12/27/2007 4:33:03 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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This thread was posted because so many people live with intense pain. Sometimes it is good to vent in a safe environment. It also serves as a catalyst for someone to finally open up about what has bothered them for a long time. So often people think that it is their fault and/or that it is a shameful secret. What happened is not their fault. I want to prove that we can put up a positive reinforcing thread dealing with serious business where people can come for help, comfort and encouragement.
Many people around on the site are sick to death of the bashers who can only feel good about themselves when they go around spewing hate and putdowns. Please, if you don't fit into the thread, please do not leave irrelavent negative comments
[Edited 12/27/2007 4:34:24 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 4:40:40 PM |
How have you recovered from abuse in your past? |
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tnquality
Union City, TN
age: 32 online now!
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its hard to deal with sometimes and trust again
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