| 12/27/2007 6:37:13 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48
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You know, in a way you're lucky. Why? Because the fact that after 2 months he insisted that you either get rid of your son or its him tells me that he was trying to control his ticket meal. You don't know what might have happened to you if you had gotten rid of your son. Obviously, this man did not want your son to witness his manipulation of you.
Next time, don't be so quick to have a man move in until you are sure that either he's serious about you or he wants to marry you. There's no need to have a man in your home who is not pulling in his share of the workload. Its one thing to financially support your kid who seems to be a special needs person, its another to financially support a full grown man.
Personally, I find the whole situation fishy. When a person starts to lay down ultimatiums and/or start withdrawing you from family/friends, he has a control issue. Abuse would have been the next step, but first he has to get rid of any witnesses. As I said, consider yourself lucky and don't be so quick to move in with essensially what is a stranger into home. I don't know how long your dating between online and offline and moving in but one has to be caustious. Don't be so caught up in being in love that you ignore red flags about a man who you really don't know.
Paris
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| 12/27/2007 9:36:15 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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bubbadt
Kennedy, NY
age: 65
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I think the guy found out he would be living in
your sons shadow. Each person on here has offered advice.
You come back with each responce putting your son as
the reason, Maybe this guy loves you, but wants a
little more of your time.
Not knocking you ar your son.
Learning disabilities are dealt with everyday everywhere.
The excuses for keeping your son your life is going
to put any man on alert.
He needs to be evaluated by proffessionals and then start
to deal with his problems. If he is illiterate, how can
he deal with not being able to read at all? does he not
need to read or learn because he learned how to have
MOM do everything for him? I think you are being played.
You need to stop the merry go round and hop off.
Dont use your sons inabilities to live life as a martyr.
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| 12/27/2007 9:37:23 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tiquondo
Smyrna, TN
age: 49
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perhaps they truly do love ya at the moment
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| 12/27/2007 9:39:14 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49
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rub some dirt on it and move on....this is not that difficult.....
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| 12/27/2007 9:44:57 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Cuz they want to get at your goodies, duh.
Sad, but true....
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| 12/27/2007 9:55:36 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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missyrose
Oakwood, GA
age: 36
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this guy doesn't even respect the word LOVE. its something he says to keep you and peace around the house...i think he did you a favor bout leaving....Do you really want a runner in your life? when things get tough they are out the door....his comments bout ur son needed to leave was simply a power trip in his own mind to actually see how much control he has over you......................someone better is waiting for you....someone you know now that you confide in 
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| 12/27/2007 9:57:53 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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If it ever comes to a man or my children--the children win EVERYTIME!
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| 12/27/2007 10:10:09 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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stg1
Worcester, MA
age: 43
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Wow, that is a very unfortunate story. You sound like a very decent person. I certainly don't know why a guy would do something like that but I am glad that you chose your son.
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| 12/27/2007 10:12:46 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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keltic1der
Clinton Township, MI
age: 38
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When I was younger, I looked up the word love, I wanted to know what it was defined as. It has the longest defination then any other word I have looked up and it is the only emotion that can cause someone to feel all the other ones. It should not be used as just a word. It is more then that.
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| 12/28/2007 4:24:09 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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unhappy36
Bridgeport, OH
age: 36
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BECAUSE MEN ARE DOGS YOU DID THE RIGHT THING YOUR SON SHOULD ALWAYS COME BEFOR A MAN 
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| 12/28/2007 9:46:37 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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Men and women often times say they love the other and they really don't because they don't know the true meaning behind the word love with actions.
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| 12/28/2007 11:09:31 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 19
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how long did u know him before he moved in?
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| 12/28/2007 11:12:16 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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rockymtnfeva
Las Vegas, NV
age: 50
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Hey "unhappy", at least you chose the right name for this site. Your gonna go far here with comments like that.
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| 12/28/2007 11:28:59 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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stellablu
Saint Louis, MO
age: 49
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Kids are ours for their upbringing, then you've got to let them go.
Hard lesson for me, but one I learned, kicking and screaming for years.
I understand the learning disabilities, schizophrenia, antisocial, drugs, jail, suicide...these things tug non-stop at a Mom.
In order for you to have a life, you have to let go. He will make it, but will you?
This man did love you, he just saw he would never have a spot.
Hugz to you... Been there.
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| 12/29/2007 5:21:49 AM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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seananthony
Chester, PA
age: 42
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tigerlady.....
first, why did this guy move in with you? ...... a man is supposed to take care of a woman .... he should have asked you and your son to move in with him .....
you supported yourself, your boyfriend, and son when they lost their jobs .... something not right here ..... why weren't they contributing their unemployment money to the household? .......
you were taking money out of your savings account? ..... why wasn't the boyfriend using his savings? ..... he was the one without a job ..... what about your son having some money in savings? ..... he is living at home ..... he should have some money in the bank, even with a low-paying job ..... why was it just your money being taken out of the savings account .....
why wasn't the boyfriend making more of an effort to look for a job? .... same question for your son ..... why did you let them sit around drinking beer and watching tv and sleeping past noon ......
the boyfriend tells you to kick your son out ..... my take is he realized you could only support yourself and one other person .... he wanted that person freeloading off you to be him ...... this is why he wanted your son out ...... nothing to do with control or any of the other stuff one of the posters put out there ...... this boyfriend of yours is too freaking lazy to be bothered with control and lifting his hands to beat you up ..... the creep didn't even want to get his butt off the couch .....
don't want to be harsh ... but you cannot blame all men for actions of one creep ....
you acted stupid ..... the minute these two didn't contribute any unemployment money or any of their own savings, you should have realized both of them were taking you ..... you should have kicked out the boyfriend at that point and given your son an ultimatium ..... surely your son could have gotten a job at a fast food place since you say he was a cook ..... i do not believe he could not get some type of menial job ..... the two of them, including your son, were using you ......
i am going to get a lot of flack, but you brought this on yourself ...... you need to know that so you won't repeat the same dumb mistake ..... people, whether they are male or female, are going to take advantage ...... act a little smarter ...... don't invite these guys to come live with you ...... if you do, make it clear they have to more than pay their own way ......
incidentally ..... if your son had a cook's job for six years, he is not as handicapped as you think ..... cooking professionally takes concentration and forethought ..... not something that is done without thinking ..... i am considered to be a smart guy ....... when/if i cook ..... takes a lot of effort on my part .... otherwise food is undercooked ..... burnt ..... tasteless ...... remember just because a person cannot read/write, doesn't mean they are low on mental skills .... see if your son can't live on his own .... find a place near you so you can check on him to ease your mind ..... you are not helping him by playing nurse maid
[Edited 12/29/2007 5:46:33 AM]
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