| 12/27/2007 1:19:09 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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I met a man on this site and we dated and he told me he wanted a long term relationship with me. He moved in with me for two months and all the time he was telling me he loved me and would do anything for me and wanted to be with me forever. we got along great and were very happy and had great times together! i thought everything was wonderful and i was walking on cloud nine. I loved him so much. 
he and my son had both lost their jobs the same week so i was supporting him and me and my son. i have no problem with that as long as i can but money was getting tight(my savings was being drained quickly) and i asked that he find work and/or help out. well he was looking (somewhat) but said in the meantime he would help out around the house. he said he didnt mind the housework because it made him feel that he was contributing. which was great and i appreciated the help and told him so on a regular basis.
Then i come home from work one day and he tells me its over. just like that. no warning nothing. just that he has to go or my son does (my son is 26 and lives at home). they didnt fight or anything in fact they were like buddies the whole time he lived here. but something snapped in him that day apparently and he gives me an ultimatum that he goes or my son does. now i know my son has issues but he is still my flesh in blood. i asked did something happen and he said no just that he didnt want to be our maid anymore and that my son doesnt help out enough. its true and i have dealt with that when i can. but i didnt ask him to be our maid just to help out if not working so that i wouldnt have to work all day and come home and cook, clean and run errands all night. so how can i choose between the man i love or my son??  i couldnt ...so he just left. how is that love? couldnt we have talked about solutions to the problem? why are men like that? i feel played. arent there any good, decent men left?
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| 12/27/2007 1:24:04 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Sounds like he had more than he could handle. My question is why is your 26 yo son living with you. At that age he should be supporting his self on his own not living with mom.
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| 12/27/2007 1:30:40 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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wonderturtle
Overland Park, KS
age: 41 online now!
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It sounds like he was lookin for a sugar momma..someone to pay his way so he didnt have to work. He may have only offered to help out around the house figuring you would tell him, no baby..its ok you've had a tough life..sit on your ass , pop a few beers and watch tv..I'll take care of you'
You're probably better off without that leech.
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| 12/27/2007 1:32:06 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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my son has learning disabilities and never learned to read and write. he tried living on his own a couple times but he cant read his bills to pay them or have the skills to do any financial work. he is a good kid and he worked at the same place for 8 years as a cook but was let go due to downsizing. so he does try. which is more than my bf did. he never really looked for a job the whole time he was with me. he slept until 1pm everyday and then would get up and do dishes and start dinner. then i would come home at 4pm and help finish up dinner and clean up the mess. so its not like he did alot to help. but i gave him credit for what he did do.
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| 12/27/2007 1:33:00 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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rockymtnfeva
Las Vegas, NV
age: 50
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It works like this: Woman use sex to find love, men use love to find sex! Comprende? 
[Edited 12/27/2007 1:33:24 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 1:34:08 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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if you're ready for love it's with someone special--your son should be able to find someone or he'll be around forever cutting into your romance time--he has a dad i bet he wouldn't bother him correct--because he would lay the law down on your kid so he's the bad guy and you're the great momm to him and it comes with meals too, while you won't tell your son it's time to leave the nest/ he will stay forver///I would give your son 3 months notice to leave and tell your man he has 3 months to wait or less--
now why didn't you say he has these conditions in your thread--you have to do what is right--perhaps visiting your town or county is there any programs or aid for your son to be on his own
[Edited 12/27/2007 1:35:41 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 1:34:31 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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wonderturtle.. i wondered that myself but i just felt he was so sincerely in love with me. but after he left without trying to work anything out and just giving me and ultimatimum does not sound like something that someone that loves you would do.
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| 12/27/2007 1:35:18 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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jazminx
Mount Airy, GA
age: 41
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you can fall out of love.
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| 12/27/2007 1:37:22 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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his dad and i have been divorced since 92. i gave his dad full visition but he has seen my son maybe 5 times since then. he usually calls to set up a meeting and then doesnt show up to pick up my son. so his dad is no picnic either. i am all he has.
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| 12/27/2007 1:41:21 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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he was 10 back in 1992 right and seen him 5 times--bad--but before he was 18 your son and you should have used the court system to make him see him more--your son can't trust men now for sure esp if he has seen his dad 5 times or this man for sure as maybe this man saw that he was not trusted by your son because he depends on your love...even the next guy will have a problem becoming serious with you
[Edited 12/27/2007 1:42:35 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 1:47:14 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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lorlie
Eugene, OR
age: 51 online now!
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I think they mean it at the time they said it,
kind of like a hallmark card, good for the moment.
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| 12/27/2007 1:47:31 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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i know my son depends on my love because i am all he has. and believe me i tried to get his dad to see him thats why i gave him all the visitation i could but he wouldnt show up and i couldnt make him show up and my son did get very angry and upset by that. i had him in counseling all through his teen years to deal with it. (even asked his dad to be part of it but he refused). he tried at 18 to develope a relationship with his dad again and still his dad blew him off so now he just calls his dad and azz and wont talk to him when he does call cause he said his dad will just not show up anyway so why bother. but him and my bf were like buddies.. they hung out together, etc. so i dont understand what set this off but they both swear there was no fight or issue.
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| 12/27/2007 1:48:44 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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well maybe they do mean it when they say it but how can it just disappear in two months?
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| 12/27/2007 1:53:45 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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Tiger i taught in an urban High school years ago and coached sports...you'll find many one spouse kids there vs guys with a mom and dad--when i would have a problem with a student without a male role model at home since why trust any male as that was my toughest decipline issue and if the mom wasn't at home the female teacher felt the pain of this...i notice when there was a two spouse family no problems at all....if anything never allow him to forget his father...
[Edited 12/27/2007 1:54:37 PM]
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| 12/27/2007 2:00:43 PM |
why do men say they love you when they really dont? |
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tigerladychris
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 45
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sorprano.. i tried to encourage a relationship between him and his dad all along. but i see his point now. since he was 9 he has only seen his dad 5 times. who is not making the effort there? so i dont blame my son for feeling disappointed, betrayed, bitter towards his dad. but i dont put his dad down in front of him. and i have always told him he should love him anyway cause he will always be his dad and that will never change but he feels to hurt. so yeah maybe he distrusts men somewhat but i have to have a life too and i think he understands that.
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