| 1/18/2008 5:48:51 PM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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redh_realtor
Cincinnati, OH
age: 30
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Thanks guys I needed a good laugh!!!!
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| 1/19/2008 6:32:00 AM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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bocky1019
Newark, DE
age: 50
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HUH???
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| 1/19/2008 6:47:59 AM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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sjw66
Dubuque, IA
age: 42
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Exactly, sometimes reverse the role. Be the driver, be pessimistic. That's if all else fails.
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| 1/19/2008 7:16:52 AM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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billericachick
Billerica, MA
age: 37
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Red..Sorry you are going through a lot. I too went through a lot. My divorce went quick though, kids involved. I just let him do all the barking, and I put on the airplugs this time. I have friends who are like you being stalked.
HANG IN THERE AND STAY STRONG! my prays and thoughts are w/ you....
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| 1/19/2008 7:19:09 AM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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bamabob
Cullman, AL
age: 55
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I can get a little serious on this. One thing that isn't kosher to me is that you have a boyfriend but are separating from your husband. Sounds like there may have been a lack of commitment on your part in the first place and the possibility of you misleading him there and everything isn't quite in the order it should be. That can be a source of pain and frustration for him. Things like that can result in a man getting emotional and competitive and stalking behavior. It also happens in women.
I've been through a couple of relationships where I had difficulty accepting the rejection so I can tell you some things that do work. For one hate, anger, fighting and refusing to cooperate with him in any way only adds to his frustration and many women (and men) have ended up in violent situations because of their reaction to men's/women's pain from separation/rejection. So, screwing with the guy, calling police on him when he is not doing anything really wrong other than wanting to talk to you is not good advice. It may be over for you...but, it's not over for him. If you truly want it to be over then you've got to figure it out. He has to heal. Despite his inadequacies and wrong doing he is still an emotional human being. It's easy to throw a person away like a piece of trash but it's very difficult to accept being thrown away.
So, with that being said. To make it easier there are things you can do...if you can figure it out. Ask yourself a few questions....what things attract him to you? What makes you unattractive to him? Work on that angle. Depression is a HUGE turn off...always be depressed when you see or talk to him. Never dress provocatively around him....do not fix your hair...be a slob... every time you see him ask for money...tell him ALL your problems, all your pains...you don't have to make up any of this. You never have to lie. You can easily just think of people you simply don't like being around and why. You just have to turn him OFF. Don't be mean..but don't be sweet. Just be blah... A woman who talks about her sex toys is a turn off for me...but not for all men. For some, it's just the very opposite. Ignoring him will help but just not showing interest will also help. There is absolutely no one answer and no one thing that will make it happen. I was still holding on to my ex-wife for 12 years..until she had a baby by her husband. It was the one thing that released me..the key to turning her loose from my emotions and wants. For the woman who left me back in August, 5 months ago...it was me being able to talk to her grand daughter that I was very attached to that gave me closure. I just had a need to confirm that some things I suspected were true. It really was the kid's mom who manipulated the whole thing and when she made the grand daughter get off the phone when she realized who she was talking to that I got the confirmation that it was the daughter who was in control of the mother who left me....the same daughter who had broke her mom before, was on drugs, stole from her mom, lied to the police claiming I had molested her daughters...all nothing but lies and threats and manipulation...and the one person I can not have in my life...and obviously I can not have gf without the daughter. So, it's like having to have a disease to have the gf....don't need that. So, you just have to figure it out on your own. Just telling someone you don't love them or want them isn't going to stop them wanting you. For those of us who have suffered with serious depression of separation anxiety, abandonment, etc. the horrible experience of working through the addiction is very real and sometimes it takes the cooperation of the one we are separated from to overcome the addiction. Human emotions and needs are pretty complicated and I don't think anyone really is able to understand them enough to prevent some of the phenomenons that occur. Lots of times it's hormones which guide and control our behavior....a hell of a lot of the time.
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| 1/19/2008 8:50:03 PM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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oluvmelee4
Calhoun, GA
age: 47
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elizabeth kubler-ross ~ r_ speaks the truth, miss redh!
your soon-to-be ex can read, yes?
if all else fails the phrase, *"locked, c*cked & ready to rock"
might get his attention!
*please note:
this is not a gender based phrase ~ no animals were harmed during
this announcement. 
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| 1/21/2008 10:12:14 PM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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redh_realtor
Cincinnati, OH
age: 30
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Thanks bamabob...
I love him but I'm not in love with him. He needs time to work on him self and get through his additions. He is letting go and the seperation papers have been signed- he knows that I will be filling hte divorce papers right after that cuort date. He has stopped the "stalking (if you will)" and only e-mails or calls me when there are actual matters that we need to dicuss.
Again, I really appreciate your advice- thanks again!
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| 1/21/2008 10:19:03 PM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44
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Generally speaking ( and no, I don't believe ALL men are this way - have met a few who are really GREAT listeners_ but I'd have to say it's because they don't like what we have said.
Most of the time - if we speak to our men with respect, and if we show them that we truly do value them and what they have to say - then they will speak with us.
And please allow me to tell you - that if you take that time to build that respect in your relationship - he'll want to hear what you say and he'll show you more love if you ask him his opinion -
instead of chewing his ass for being a _______ you can fill in your own blank.
Ladies - admit it sometimes you don't act like ladies!
Treat your man like he matters - he'll give you back 20 times more!
getting down of my soap box and back up to dance on the couch!
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| 1/21/2008 10:21:00 PM |
Why do men not hear what you tell them???? |
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easy111
Prior Lake, MN
age: 54
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Yep just like everyone else is saying here get a restraining order and you'll
probably have to get a new phone number too (unpublished) You also might like to get
a doberman pincher or have a huge guy friend to hang around with. If you get the order
do not hesitate to call the cops a friend of mine (female) did this and the cops got on her ex bad he never bothered her again.
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