is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp) 16

2/11/2008 8:17:41 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
cats43injax Jacksonville, FL age: 44	For me, money is not the driving factor in a relationship. I prefer someone that is my equal, being as stable as I am, but I have been in a relationship before with someone that was as broke as broke gets! Money is nice, but it does not buy happiness. Some of the richest people in the world have been the most miserable. It's the qualities that you can not buy that count the most!
2/11/2008 8:53:22 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
harley68 San Antonio, TX age: 39	I make my own money, which isn't a lot but it pays the bills and there's enough left over for fun. I want a man who is just as capable of paying the tab as I am. But if we already established a relationship and he fell on hard times, I would be there for him, not dump him.
2/11/2008 9:14:35 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
winesong Bend, OR age: 60	Money means different amounts to different people. To have none,and homeless, a person with $200.00 is rich. Money does not guarantee or buy happiness... Happiness does not guarantee or buy money. When poverty comes in the door, often love goes out the window. (happiness will diminish when foreclosure is at hand.) Be grateful you have what you have today... it is not a given you will always have it, including good health. You often cannot change who you are, or your circumstances of debt. If you already have payments, child support,illness debt, credit card indulgence, you must continue to balance your life. Work & earn, to pay off what you indulged in with or without your X. Nature works like this birds of a feather always flock together. Stay within your emotional and financial comfort zone....plan to stay together. It works for nature and it often works best in humanity... just select wisely, or this can be a revolving door on DH. Wine
2/11/2008 9:37:38 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
katiescarlett72 Dallas, TX age: 35	:: sigh :: This almost makes me wish for another thread about why more white women won't date black men. Okay, I'll go ahead and put my head on the chopping block, and the guys can chop away. Let me say this again, because it seems like no one gets this very basic concept: There is a HUGE difference between being a golddigger who is ONLY out for a man's money, and expecting that a man will have his damn life in order and be able to contribute at least equally to the relationship. I've said this before, but let me repeat - my three main relationships have been with an ASE mechanic, a firefighter, and an Army GI. Obviously whatever that "golddigger" instinct is, I ain't got it. I love me a blue collar guy who goes to work every day at something he loves to do, that's not glamorous and not going to make him a millionaire, but gives him a sense of pride in himself and his ability to provide a living for himself and his family. Not a mansion, not yachts, but a secure living. I'm not looking for anyone to take care of me, but I'm sure the hell not taking care of another adult, either. I'm at a point in my life where I'm starting to make some headway in getting assets established and putting money ahead for the future and my kids' educations and amazing things like that. So do I want to date a guy who has nothing to his name but the roof over his head (which often actually belongs to a friend/roommate/his parents), his car (maybe), his X-Box and some Ikea furniture? No, thank you very much. If I could bust my ass to get where I am, then there's no reason you couldn't, and if you didn't, then we're not going to get along anyway because we're two TOTALLY different kinds of people. Yes, I realize that life setbacks occur. Had one myself when I got divorced in 2003. I'd been a stay at home mom running a small at-home business for several years so I suddenly had no job, no car (he took the one we were sharing), no house (couldn't afford it by myself), and because I had isolated myself from everyone but him for so long, my support system was weak at best. I clawed my way out of that and got back on my feet all by myself, so if I can do it...well, you know the rest. There's something else I want to add to this but I have to get it sorted out in my head first.
2/11/2008 9:56:00 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
newinil Carlock, IL age: 35 online now!	Once again I have to agree with Katie. In all reality if you can't at least support yourself, what do you really have to market to the opposite sex? I am not condoning the gold digger behavior, and I don't seek someone to take care of me. So in a way, at least enough money to support yourself IS a requirement. You don't have to be rich. But don't be looking for men/women to mooch off of either. The bigger question is, if money is that tight, why are you seeking out a relationship for other than company. If you want company, develop friendships.
2/11/2008 9:59:25 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
happinessnlove Dade City, FL age: 40	Money equals one thing, responsibilty. Education, employment, financial security. It is all about being responsible. For a woman, and even a man, if you can show responsibility with money; not necessarily being wealthy, but being able to pay your bills, etc. you will show responsibility with relationships.
2/11/2008 10:05:44 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
tallestdiva Flint, MI age: 32	well spoken @ happiness
2/11/2008 10:08:04 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
thebestman Alpharetta, GA age: 34	no
2/11/2008 10:15:59 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
ge0ge0 Tallahassee, FL age: 41 online now!	To me money is a fuzzy way of saying stability. Stability and responsibility are prerequisites for some people. Having a job, car, place to stay, living within your means, established credit, it's all about money. Being a gold digger or concerned and protective about your financial future is all about degree of the actual dollar figure you're looking at.
2/11/2008 10:17:33 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
evileddy Ottawa, ON age: 34	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQiPCC27VgA
2/11/2008 10:44:33 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
stormygrl Longmont, CO age: 41	I support myself and always have.....so as long as he can support himself that's all I care about.
2/11/2008 11:13:56 AM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
katiescarlett72 Dallas, TX age: 35	The bigger question is, if money is that tight, why are you seeking out a relationship for other than company. If you want company, develop friendships. Well, that's just creepy, we're now having some sort of forum telepathy. That's the other thing I wanted to talk about LOL. I don't understand why there are so many people on here looking for love, who are in NO position to even be thinking about dating or serious relationships. Do you (general you, not directed at anyone in particular) really not get it that there are times in life when dating is simply a totally crappy idea? If you're living with/off of family/friends, separated, without reliable income or any basic life assets, still trying to get your education squared away, having a massive custody battle, conquering your drug dependency, have a child going through a rough spell, a psychotic ex who likes to carve her initials in your dates' cars, or any of dozens of other possibilities, you don't need to be wasting your energy, time or limited resources trying to find yourself a romance to sweep you away from it all. IMO you need to set aside the idea of a romantic life for a while, and concentrate on getting things in your life fixed to the point where you don't have to feel torn, apologetic or half-assed when you do start dating again. Simply being single and not dating is NOT fatal, I promise. There are times and places for all things. Not all times in life are dating times. To the op: It is not like I was a bum and I am sitting arround doing nothing. I am attending a culinary school at the momment in order to get my life on track. I really doubt that the girls who are disappearing on you think that you're a bum, don't be so hard on yourself. For a girl to feel like you're a good guy who's working toward something but just not yet at the point in life that she's looking for, doesn't mean she thinks you're a bum. It just means you two were not in the same place in your lives at the same time. You run into the same thing with kids. Guys whose kids are grown and moved out are probably not going to dig me, because they're not going to want to go back to 9am bedtimes and weekends stuffed with soccer/football/hockey/volleyball games. Doesn't mean they think badly of me, we're just at different points in our lives. I think it's absolutely awesome that you're going to school, I'm in awe of anyone who can actually cook and it's an area that will (I imagine) provide you with a really good and really reliable income. People aren't exactly going to stop eating LOL. Having said that though, it really won't kill you - and will probably benefit you a LOT in the long run - to simply put dating on the sidelines until you're done with school and settled into a job. For one thing, most women in your age group are not going to be excited about dating someone who's kind of at square 2 for the moment, even if you're rapidly working towards square 10. For another, I think it will really make you feel better about yourself to know that you've made a mature and conscious choice to focus on your career now and romance later.
2/11/2008 12:53:21 PM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
eventista New York, NY age: 25	People should be financially equal... Men do make more money than women also. As shallow as it may seem, hot guy w/o money are still hot! So, don't make a big deal about money and focus on the girl or being the best you possible.
2/11/2008 5:01:10 PM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
yankeesweet Aiken, SC age: 57	Katie...you and I are definitely on the same page with all of this...you said it all so well. Must be the "mom" stuff that kicks in! I have had the same hard times as you, raised my daughter myself and pulled myself up out of nowhere...to where I am today! I need someone that is in the same place I am now and who is just as responsible as I am now. Everything you said to this young man is true. It seems that all of us on here that are a bit more mature and experienced, concur.
2/11/2008 5:07:45 PM	is money alway a preresquitie for a relationship(sp)
chimike Chicago, IL age: 56	It's not always a factor, but can be. I've met women online who would ONLY meet me if we went out to a nice restaurant for dinner (got burned once, last time.) Some women are only out to 'date' someone, meaning being taken out...others are actually looking for a friendship and more. Your chances are better of finding someone at your school who's in the same position as you...and you can do fun stuff for little or no money.

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