| 3/3/2008 12:39:40 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48 online now!
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Ok, I know this thread is about dating someone diagnosed with cancer, but what about those who bail out on a spouse when they are diagnosed with cancer? If the relationship had been rocky anyway, what would YOU expect???
I would still stand by this person because if he's my spouse, we probably have children and I want my children to see and comprehend what it takes to be in a relationship and all the implications that that means once we say I do. If the relationship was rocky, then I hope to get down on my knees and find the faith that I would need to not let it be about me, but about the person, who for the most part, gave me x amount of wonderful children, has been a fantastic provider, a good father, and exceptional person. Hopefully, our friendship is still strong that it will carry us through this nightmare with God's help.
I would think this is where the parable of the Good Samaritan would come into play, except that it would be of paramount importance to reflect the example of the Samaritan towards a person you actually know, once loved and hopefully still respect.
Paris
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| 3/3/2008 1:40:15 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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teaurtei
Payne, OH
age: 40
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Your question is one I asked myself for a long time. I still hesitate when I see questions that ask 'What do you have to offer someone going into a relationship with you?' In '92 my mother came to collect me from the police station after a regular doctor's visit. They'd found me sitting in the phone booth hugging my knees and crying and a concerned citizen had phoned it in. It's a long road. It's a hard road. After the surgeries it can takes weeks or months to get on my feet again, but I get there. My body isn't or wasn't strong enough for chemotherapy so the doctor opted for surgical measures. I've had surgery once, sometimes twice, a year since February of '92. Each time I have to assure final arrangements are in place and all my family is notified, not just because of regular risks, but because I can't tolerate some of the anisthetics they use and have had extreme reactions in the past up to and including system failure. A second doctor suggested more 'intensive' treatments to stem the recurring cancer since it was still spreading and he worried it was becoming more invasive. Mid arrangements he moved his office over four hours from me so I was left back in the hands of my original physician. I am afraid. Mammograms and other tests show possible problems in other parts of my body as well. I am currently not under physician's care by my choice. I needed time off. To not be afraid. To not be in pain or bedridden. It'll be there for them to cut off when I go back. I have no real illusions about it. Each time they will assure me as they always have that they have removed all the malignant cells and yet it still comes back. How much more can they remove before you begin to feel there's more of you somewhere else than what they've left behind? What do I have to offer someone? It troubles me deeply and I ask that of myself often. But there's still a lot of me left right now...and that's what I'm holding on to.
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| 3/3/2008 2:31:17 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 49
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It would depend on the relationship and our mutual feelings. I can't see myself turning my back on someone I cared about simply because they have cancer. It' s not a death sentence anymore and the more positive the outlook of the person, the better. If I can give him support, love, and lots of laughter, it can only make the sitation better. It won't cure him, but he won't feel so alone and that matters a lot.
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| 3/3/2008 2:33:27 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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markzander
Madison Heights, MI
age: 35
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I only date virgo's
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| 3/3/2008 5:26:39 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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oldeschoolcharm
San Diego, CA
age: 46
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I certainly wouldn't turn my back on someone with whom I was in a committed relationship. I would treasure every moment we'd have together all the more, regardless if it was a day, a month, or years.
You never know when someone you love will be wrested from your life, by accident, health, or age.
If it was someone I'd just met, and developed a real fondness for, I'd probably feel the same: we don't really know who the love of our life will be, until our life is over, and to lose the chance to discover them because of a selfish desire for that love to last a lifetime is, I think, short-sighted and misses the point.
[Edited 3/3/2008 5:27:15 PM]
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| 3/3/2008 10:02:02 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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jackiefree
Victoria
Australia
age: 50
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my twin brother recently passed away from cancer,he had a partner for over 20years,cancer didnt matter,its when they pass on is the sad part,yes i would go out with someone with cancer 
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| 3/3/2008 10:16:39 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54
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it wouold be better to have a short time with the right person than forever with the wrong one. Gotta play the hand youre delt
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| 3/4/2008 2:47:23 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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familyguy58103
Fargo, ND
age: 49 online now!
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I guess for me it all comes down to the "golden rule". Would you want someone to disregard a potential relationship with you, if you were seriously ill?
On the other hand, having been the caretaker of a dying partner for four years, it would be difficult for me, as the person with cancer, to burden someone I care about in that way.
[Edited 3/4/2008 2:48:04 AM]
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| 3/4/2008 3:25:08 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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kay46
Quitaque, TX
age: 46
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tea,i will add you to my prayers. my cancer is nonhormonal and has a 17% chance of coming back in 5 years, then nearly doubles in 10 years. the dont know what causes it.
my husband was with me all the way. We've been together over 27 years, but an old high school friend found out she had cervical cancer and her husband left her claiming he "couldnt take seeing her this way" after her treatments, she has been cancer free for about 20 years. she is remarried to a wonderful man.
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| 3/5/2008 11:33:25 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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teaurtei
Payne, OH
age: 40
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Thank you, Kay. Some days I need all the help I can get.
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| 3/5/2008 2:45:43 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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littlebumblebee
Hamilton, OH
age: 47
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Yes i would love is what it is never having to say your sorry. My boyfriend passed away we grew closer the sicker he got the closer we became. and i know some day i will see him again in heaven.
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| 3/5/2008 2:47:27 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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littlebumblebee
Hamilton, OH
age: 47
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And yes he did have cancer he passed away oct 5 2008. I had only been with him for 2 years but those to years was like a life time of good memories.
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| 3/5/2008 2:55:14 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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littlebumblebee
Hamilton, OH
age: 47
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I meant 2007 sorry having a ruff day i do miss him so much. The pain is awful when you lose someone you love. But its worth all the memories you shared together.He was sick when we started dating found out it was cancer 5 mnths before he died.
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| 3/5/2008 3:19:42 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 49
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Patrick Swazee was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
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| 3/5/2008 3:26:05 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57 online now!
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I would be right by his side, loving him everyday. I would not call it off. Cancer is not choosey, it strikes when least expected, it picks who & when it wants to destroy.
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