| 3/3/2008 4:25:25 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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kay46
Quitaque, TX
age: 46
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If you met someone and got to know them, they went to the Dr. for some tests, and whala its Cancer, what would you do? Continue to date them? Call it off and just be friends?
Call it off completely?
I wrote this after my Cancer treatments.
CANCER
CANCER IS A HEART RENDERING WORD.
A WORD THAT USED TO MEAN CERTAIN DEATH.
A WORD THAT MEANT SORROW, FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY AND PAIN.
A WORD THAT MEANT THE END IS NEAR.
A WORD THAT EVERYONE KNOWS AND FEARS.
AS THE MEDICAL FIELD PROGRESSES, CANCER IS NOT NECESSARILY A DEATH SENTENCE
ANYMORE
AS A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR OF 1 YEAR, I STILL FEAR CANCER AND WHAT IT MEANS
TO ME
ALL THE WHOHA OF SCIENCE GIVES ME A 17% CHANCE OF MY CANCER COMING BACK
WITHIN 5 YEARS AFTER ALL THE SURGERY, CHEMO AND RADIATION
BUT AFTER 5 YEARS MY CHANCES INCREASE EACH YEAR
CHEMO MADE ME SICK, SO SICK I NEEDED HELP TO WALK, GO TO THE BATHROOM
AND DRESS
IT CAUSED NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS, ENDING UP BEING MORE THAN "CHEMO BRAIN"
WHICH ALONG WITH DIABETES HAVE CAUSED MY DISABILITY
MY 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, HELPING MOM IN EVERY ASPECT OF HER LIFE WITHOUT
COMPLAINT
SHE DROVE ME TO CHEMO, WATCHED ME CRY WHEN THEY STUCK ME REPEATED TIMES
AS THEY WERE STILL UNABLE TO GET MY PORT TO WORK
SHE HELPED ME DO SIMPLE THINGS, REMEMBER THINGS, AND WAS THERE FOR ME
DOING THINGS MOST ADULTS NEVER HAVE TO DO, MUCH LESS AS 16 YEAR OLDS DO
BUT GRIEF, ANGER AND FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY FOR A TEENAGER THAT HAD TO GROW
UP SO FAST TO ASSIST ME
A BLESSING FROM ABOVE AND A MOTHERS LOVE AND APPRECIATION FOR
MY DEAR ALEXANDRA, HOW MUCH I LOVE HER AND WISH HER MANY BLESSINGS
TO ASSIST HER IN THE FUTURE, EVEN IF ITS WITHOUT ME
A HUSBAND THAT TOOK OFF WORK, HELD ME WHEN I CRIED, AND ASSISTED ME IN
EVERY ASPECT OF MY CHANGED LIFE, AND REPEATEDLY TOLD ME IT WAS OK AND
HE STILL LOVED ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE OWED OR WHAT THE FUTURE WAS
TO BE
MY DEAREST HUSBAND WALTER, HOW MUCH I LOVE THEE.
ANOTHER DAUGHTER WHO TOOK OFF WORK AND WENT TO RADIATION WITH ME, CALLING
SO MUCH TO CHECK ON ME
A BLESSING MY LACEY IS TO ME EVEN THOUGH SHE LIVES FAR AWAY, HER AND RUSTY
COMING DOWN TO SEE ME
A DADDY THAT GAVE HIS LOVE, TIME AND ASSISTANCE MORE THAN ONCE
AND STAYED SO MANY WEEKS WITH ME
A DADDY THAT LOVED MY DEAR MOTHER WHO DIED BEFORE WE
A DADDY THAT LOVES EVERYBODY
A SISTER THAT SUPPORTED ME, TOOK OFF WORK AND STAYED IN AMARILLO WITH ME
A SISTER THAT I LOVE AND PRAYED FOR ME
AND ALL MY IN-LAWS THAT ARE MY FAMILY, WHO DID SO MUCH FOR ME
FROM LETTING US STAY WITH THEM DURING CHEMO DAYS AND CAME DOWN FOR MY
SURGERY
WHO CALLED, VISITED, COOKED AND VISISTED WITH ME
WHO ALL OF THEM I LOVE AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR LOVE FOR ME
A COMMUNITY THAT PULLED TOGETHER TO PRAY AND ASSIST US ALL
WHO BROUGHT WARM FOOD THAT WAS SO DELICIOUS AND ALL I CAN
SAY IS THANK YOU TO ALL
CANCER, A HEART RENDERING WORD, A SCARY WORD, BUT A WORD NONETHELESS
THAT CAN BRING ABOUT LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING FROM FRIENDS, FAMILY AND
A COMMUNITY.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND LIVE YOUR LIFE KNOWING GODS ALLWAYS THERE FOR YOU
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| 3/3/2008 4:34:44 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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flowergirl62
South Australia
Australia
age: 45
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I would, but then I am different to alot of people. For me it's about whether I felt something for them, not whether they had cancer because if i cared even a little, then I would want to spend as much time as I could with them.
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| 3/3/2008 4:39:46 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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sdcentaur
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 48
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If I cared for them at all it wouldn't change how I felt about them.
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| 3/3/2008 4:40:30 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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honeyhoney4
Benton, IL
age: 71
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How fortunate to have the love of God, family and friends.
Since I am going thru cancerous melanoma surgery;
I can relate to you. I am waiting for the results that tell me whether or not they have gotten it all OR the possibility of the future
I will pray for you. GOD BLESS YOU and others that
have or have had cancer.
The answer I have is TRUE LOVE has the real answer.
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| 3/3/2008 4:42:45 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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kay46
Quitaque, TX
age: 46
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God bless you Honeyhoney and I'll pray for you as well.
[Edited 3/3/2008 4:43:12 AM]
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| 3/3/2008 5:48:24 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
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I agree with sdcentaur fully. I would view it as a test of my own character and commitment on how I handled the situation. If you are in a relationship together it would be awful if you left them because of cancer. That's about the most insensitive act one could do and deserves to be alone the rest of their days.
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| 3/3/2008 6:17:55 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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dancinglynx
Reedsburg, WI
age: 44
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No. I've watched too many people I love die from cancer, it's too heartbreaking for me, but I would be their friend.
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| 3/3/2008 6:22:13 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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waytogo51
Prairie Grove, AR
age: 51
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Nothing would change how I feel about her. I would be by her side all the way.
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| 3/3/2008 10:27:50 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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candy66
Cheshire
United Kingdom
age: 41
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i would definately, if it had only been short time or for decades i would commit to them and in helping them through it...jmo
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| 3/3/2008 10:30:26 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 41
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If I was in love with this person...I would stay - and love them even more...I wouldn't
end it because they have an illness.
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| 3/3/2008 10:44:20 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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aboomer
Little Rock, AR
age: 45
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Ok, I know this thread is about dating someone diagnosed with cancer, but what about those who bail out on a spouse when they are diagnosed with cancer? If the relationship had been rocky anyway, what would YOU expect???
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| 3/3/2008 10:47:27 AM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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cyberangel45
Apalachicola, FL
age: 45
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nothing would change I would stand by him, my husband died 5 years ago from cancer.. his doctor asked us questions about our marriage because he said so many couples breakup from the stress of the illness..we told him we were in this together for better or worst...when you care about someone you don't bail on them when they get sick.
[Edited 3/3/2008 11:13:58 AM]
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| 3/3/2008 12:09:54 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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silkscreen
Toronto, ON
age: 51
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Yes, God Bless you, OP. I am in fact recovering from a Stage III pre-cancerous cell cervical cancer scare myself. It was only day surgery (LEEP...laser treatment) but the results from the cone biopsy I had the same day are not back yet.
I have a return visit to the doctor in 2 months, so every day that I don't get a call saying he'd like me to come in sooner is a blessing in my eyes. There's two battles I'm fighting right now tho. The first is to get back on my feet and climb back up from the abyss of emotion I went thru when I first got the news between Christmas and New Years.
There is so much cancer in my family that the genetic fear alone was enough to scare me into a dose of reality I've never experienced before. Plus I know so many people who have died who weren't blood relatives even if many were extended family, apart from numerous friends. So the experience was yanking my emotional baggage chains big time.
The doc had me on female hormones that were absorbed internally (cream) and these were no fun either. I've always tested too high in testosterone levels for a girl, so estrogen was like doing bad drugs.
The second thing is the direct link between smoking and cervical cancer -- and I have smoked for close to forty years. I've also got people in my family who died young [55] (or suffered from numerous breathing ailments) too. So I feel as tho I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.
If the cancer doesn't get me, then the lung problems just may. It's going to be a tough one but I HAVE TO QUIT. Period. It's gotten to the point I'm seeing stars everytime I light up. And while I know my plight is entirely self-inflicted - and so many suffer from cancer when they never did anything to deserve it - my demons are no less real. Simply must slay this dragon once and for all.
To answer your question, yes I would stand by my SO or loved one till the end. But since I was single when I got the news I am remaining so now...deliberately. Didn't want to put it on my profile coz it just sounds like another boo-hoo-hoo story to some people believe it or not. But it's here now in my posts -- and I would stand by someone else.
[Edited 3/3/2008 12:17:19 PM]
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| 3/3/2008 12:14:17 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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missyroo375
Suffern, NY
age: 20
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Yes I would stand by the one I love until the end...it would bring alot of pain but I will still stand by the one I love.
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| 3/3/2008 12:16:24 PM |
Cancer, would you date someone knowing the long road ahead? |
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lova_girl
Albany, GA
age: 30
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If you want someone and its within your heart then what ever they go through you should want to be there to share it with them wether it be good or bad.
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