So much more at stake

12/6/2011 5:00:15 PM	So much more at stake
windseeker1 Ionia, NY 60, joined Jan. 2011	“When did the choices get so hard, there’s so much more at stake. Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste.” Bonnie Raitt’s song, long a favorite of mine, has been playing in my head lately. It should be the theme song for dating in our 50’s. It seems no one just wants to “date” at 50…it has to be “going somewhere”. “If you don’t see a future for us, why waste our time?” What about just going out and enjoying each other’s company? Having fun? Living for the moment? Apparently not when you are in your 50’s. My job keeps me on the road a lot. It makes it hard to form a steady relationship. Three weeks on the road, one at home then it starts over again. I know, quit btching. “That’s your choice, if you don’t like it, find a new job.” Trouble is; I’m 54. Finding a new job at my age in this economy is not an easy task. So I soldier on. I’ve not met anyone on this site but have had great success on another site. We will meet and date for a bit and then all of a sudden…it’s time to fish or cut bait. All in or all out. Sht or get off the pot. WTF? Why do I have to decide after a month or two of dating whether we have a future together? What’s the point of this post? Idunknow. No question involved. Frustrated I guess. Carry on. Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
12/6/2011 5:08:44 PM	So much more at stake
bonamassafreek Spencer, OH 62, joined Dec. 2007	Quote:It seems no one just wants to “date” at 50…it has to be “going somewhere”. “If you don’t see a future for us, why waste our time?” What about just going out and enjoying each other’s company? Having fun? Living for the moment? Apparently not when you are in your 50’s. Well- I'm not looking for a LTR right now. I just want to have fun, and really don't want someone that wants to get serious right away. But seems to me you are lumping all 5o's women into one category- I guess based on your personal experiences- but- we are not all looking to get married!
12/6/2011 5:15:58 PM	So much more at stake
ireneann Stuart, FL 62, joined Dec. 2009	This is only my opinion....what you wrote is so true and I know for sure that you are not the only one of the 50's years that feels such. Actually ...at the end of your frustration~~you did leave a question. A good one too. I have no advice to leave for you as I am sure others will. I do think that your statement >>>> Contains much to think about. Original Post: “When did the choices get so hard, there’s so much more at stake. Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste.”
12/6/2011 5:16:14 PM	So much more at stake
windseeker1 Ionia, NY 60, joined Jan. 2011	Sorry, I know better than to lump "all" into one. But we are decidedly a minority!! (from my personal experience, anyhow)
12/6/2011 5:30:12 PM	So much more at stake
lifesahoot Fayetteville, NC 65, joined Jul. 2011	Wind...I think you need to date another saleswoman on the road...the 2 of you can understand each other.
12/6/2011 5:35:56 PM	So much more at stake
taterprincess Albion, IN 67, joined Oct. 2011	Seems if you tell the person right up front so they don't expect anything in the future its ok. If you lead someone on though with talk of future and this and that then people get hurt Seems to me most on here don't want anything more then a date relationship I think its fine if thats what you want.. Better to date many I guess then to cheat on someone you swear your love to jmo
12/6/2011 6:01:09 PM	So much more at stake
wating2bfound Mooresville, NC 64, joined Oct. 2010	I don't put expectations on anyone I meet online...or otherwise. BUT, I think it needs to be made clear up front that you are only looking to spend time and date, and that with your job, it is improbable that a good relationship can form. You might be surprised how many ladies won't mind that and maybe aren't looking for anything more either! On the other hand, when you meet someone that really knocks your socks off, you just might find a way to work through this problem. Maybe who you need is someone who isn't tied to a job themselves and could come with you on some of your travels and keep you company. It would give you more time to get to know each other and something special could develop. As long as you're honest and frank about what you can offer her, I can't see any woman being upset. You are who you are in your life and just have to find someone who is pretty much in the same place. Be prepared for her to date other men as well...if dating is all you can offer her. If you are emotionally unavailable to her, it's only fair that she keeps her options open. As far as that "all or nothing" thing...that's just her way of telling you she's not satisfied with what you CAN offer. I can't see why you can't continue to date until or if she should find someone she can get serious with. Becuz, the down part of your situaton is that you can't really be taken seriously by anyone now. Personally, I think it would be a pleasure to spend time with you...and just enjoy it for what it is.
12/6/2011 7:38:45 PM	So much more at stake
pingponger Lewiston, MI 57, joined Jun. 2011	If and when I date, I like it with no strings, BUT............the problem lies when it comes time to have sex, and yes, I am one of those women who if I enjoy the persons company, I will have sex, and yet another BUT, I want to know that person is clean and yes, I do ask for test results. Sounds pretty cold and non romamtic, but if I am clickin with someone, that also means I am able to be open with them, and them the same. I want my life to be fun filled, the last thing I want is to be worring whether or not I could catch something by having a lil fun once in awhile. I THINK, thats where many women find it hard to take it with the "no strings". Who knows who your sleeping with and with how many different ones, specially being on the road. Not really directed at the op, but he does set a good example of how having sex with one can lead to having sex with many at one time. In other words, I don't want to sleep with who my date is also sleeping with. Or something like that. Personally, I think maybe you might be dating the wrong sort of woman, I beleive there are many who would rather date at this age then to get hitched, but I could be wrong.
12/6/2011 10:09:14 PM	So much more at stake
arocketman2001 Angle Inlet, MN 65, joined Jul. 2011	Windseeker having been on the road to earn a living I know of what you speak. There is no easy solution, short of your changing jobs, trouble is your away so much it's hard to look, so you need devote more time to a job search, and less time to heartbreaking, till you can change course. And others have told me the same, they want to know right off are you marriage material? Because for you it's a fun evening or two with good company, for them it's shopping for a meal ticket, but to clarify it, none of the women here on DH would do that! That's why all the best lady's in the world are to be found right here.
12/7/2011 12:15:57 AM	So much more at stake
susieq_tx Harlingen, TX 65, joined Mar. 2011	You sound like a realist. Some guys have a "no strings..EVER" attitude. I'm not interested in them. Some guys are needy and clingy. I'm not interested in them, either. Aren't there people like me who can go with the flow?
12/7/2011 12:19:55 AM	So much more at stake
icehouse54 New Market, AL 60, joined Jun. 2011	I try
12/7/2011 12:30:23 AM	So much more at stake
1stardust Saratoga Springs, UT 65, joined Feb. 2011	Quote from windseeker1: Sorry, I know better than to lump "all" into one. But we are decidedly a minority!! (from my personal experience, anyhow) I'd like to lump you into one of my arms then the other until we're one big lump on or off the road!
12/7/2011 3:18:10 AM	So much more at stake
purplesky56 Pearcy, AR 63, joined Nov. 2010	well heck i have no expectations other than respect just dates are fine...your job is your job...you must be a good one though if they are trying to tie you down.. just explain on first date it will be ok....
12/7/2011 7:58:01 AM	So much more at stake
1stardust Saratoga Springs, UT 65, joined Feb. 2011	You know me, alway the cut up. I'm with purple on this one,, honesty is always the best policy, everyone has a choice that way. Nothing worse than being decieved. * except for deceiving yourself. [Edited 12/7/2011 8:00:27 AM ]
12/7/2011 9:27:44 AM	So much more at stake
wating2bfound Mooresville, NC 64, joined Oct. 2010	There's nothing better than good company. I've met people who I felt a connection with at the initial blush and then after meeting, we decided to just be friends. Sometimes we will hang out again on dates, but it's a chance meeting no matter what. I think I understand you probably have a need to have some connection with some close though and it must be hard to maintain under your circumstances. Keep on looking for someone who has the same needs and expectations as yours. I suspect you're bummed out right now and that's the reason for the thread.
12/7/2011 9:48:37 AM	So much more at stake
debbie5 Keller, TX 60, joined Jun. 2009	If all you want is a FB then you should put in your profile that you don't want any kind of committment, say upfront that's all you want. I think alot of men say the want LTR on their profile and that is misleading if that's not really what you want. Just be honest and upfront from the get go and there shouldn't be a problem

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