when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel? 16

5/6/2008 6:21:05 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
onelife2live Janesville, WI age: 44	Huh?...you are 51...who has a boyfriend or a baby at 51...or am I misreading the question....I hope so...
5/6/2008 6:25:04 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
misssmatch Cleveland, TN age: 52	she's 23..it isn't ME asking the question...lol..
5/6/2008 6:48:55 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
onelife2live Janesville, WI age: 44	oops..sorry...missed page one, how did that happen....apologies ontop of apologies here..backing out ..turning red and weak....
5/6/2008 6:50:30 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
flowergirl62 South Australia Australia age: 46	Having a bad day onelife.......... ?
5/6/2008 6:55:40 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
onelife2live Janesville, WI age: 44	Why yes!...Yes I am....
5/6/2008 7:00:44 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
rocket000 Murrayville, GA age: 50	I agree 100% with Paris. I'm in the financial field and one of the biggest causes of poverty is being a single uneducated mother. I encourage you to get on birth control and start paying attention to the way this guys handles his responsibilities. Aside from the initial "thrill" of seeing his son don't be too suprised if a year or two down the road he isn't "all that". Do not make any foolish mistakes such as getting pregnant.
5/6/2008 7:00:52 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
snowbird1961 Los Lunas, NM age: 47	One thing confuses me here about the whole situation. You say you've been together for 4 months. now his ex is "pregnant with his unborn son" you say a few months? Sounds like he cheated on you girlfriend!!! Time for a DNA.
5/6/2008 7:37:33 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
stephaniemcd85 Grand Prairie, TX age: 23	Ok hun I know exactly what you are going through, trust me. I spent 4 years in a relationship trying to have kids and then after I left my relationship he got with someone else and got her pregnant and threw it in my face. Its not a pleasant feeling, till this day it has been well over 2 years and every time I see a baby or a lil kid it gets to me. It is very hard for me to go on with it. I try my best to ignore it, sometimes it works well and sometimes it don't. Don't let it get to you, if y'all are still together give it time none of the less you are prob both in shock about what has happened. Don't make a sudden move and make a mistake let him do what he needs to do with his unborn first. Then y'all talk about it. I am not saying he don't want to have kids but just my thoughts.
5/6/2008 7:54:52 PM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
stephaniemcd85 Grand Prairie, TX age: 23	Ok wow you didn't have to be so rude about that, you can have put it to better terms for her rather being a B*** about it. That was really rude and hateful. That would be like me telling you that, you really to be more careful of how you term your things, this is not even my story. But that hurt my feelings in a way. I wouldn't be surprised if you made her cry because you are being such a rude person. You are a grown woman in her 40s and you say shit like that to someone thats in her 20s yeah you are immature in my book. If you want respect you have to earn it. And to me I don't think you ever get that with what have have posted on this poor girls profile. Oh by the way that is for Paris [Edited 5/6/2008 7:56:39 PM]
5/7/2008 4:14:18 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
irparis39 New York, NY age: 49	You obviously didn't read her post very well. And you being what all of 23 and so, what, enlighten...I suppose you're in with the territory of having a baby from someone you've only known all of 4 months, not 4 years, when he hasn't earn a place in the b/f material department only to find out later as statistics have it that he dumps your a and who gets to pay for baby bump...the tax payers, because if you're 23, you should be able to put all your ducks in a row and put yourself in a position to financially, emotionally and mentally take care of your kid in the event that the little dumbass is just planting seeds all over. But you wo't because you're so far up his a and can't see the light of day because you're romanticizing strollers and sleighbed cribs. What you can't see is the burdens the government keep cutting in Wick/welfare/medicaid to stupid young girls who think they have to have a baby from tom, d*ck and harry because home boy is cute and not because home boy has quality. So whose mature here. In fact, if you're so enlighten, that you left your guy, he found someone else to have a child with, do you really think he would have stayed with you even if you had given him a child. If he could not stand by you inspite of everything...he was a flight risk already and immature to boot if he can throw it back in your face, another dumbass. Don't confuse the issues. He wasn't that exceptional. And the fact that its been 2 years, you're giving him more power than he's worth probably, but you're young, you will learn in time. I call it as it is, unless you want the guy to REALLY show you how it is, and in your case, he did, in the OP's case he could as there is no foundation in which she can intelligiently weigh the qualities of this man because her head is up in the clouds. paris [Edited 5/7/2008 4:18:42 AM]
5/7/2008 5:06:36 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
maleni321 Decatur, GA age: 23	thanks for the advice guys,,,,,, something people take well other ,,you see might not.. both me and him are very aware that its not about us,,, and i do amit that i am very selfish about the situation , but i am very aware that a child come fist, and im am not saying that im at any ready at this very moment of having a child nor am i trying to no no no no no no no no just saying and being very selfish ,maybe immature about it,,but,that when i am ready,,,,, when i am,, and it might take a few yr at the lest i wanted to be the fist, he and i are well mentally mature,,, i work with kids ever day and had been doing so for yrs, , not saying that i will be well ready for having a child, who is,,we both make enough money to take care of a child maybe more then one, and well educated even both finish getting situated befor our time we are not teenager ,,,and might not be in our thirty we might not be perfect but we are well rounded people,,, ,, that does not mean i want to have a child a the very moment, thanks for the advice everyone,, and to the one who kept the respect up and was still able to keep it real with me, and to other whos every word was dumb a thiss dumb a that ,,,,, iii really hope you dont have any kids those poor things that might be the reason our children now aday dont have a good role modle to follow and has us asking thease types of questioin thanks any was tho
5/7/2008 5:11:32 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
flaws_n_all28 Fulton, NY age: 29	You just need to buck up and enjoy the fact that he is having a baby, try and get along with the other woman even though it's hard. When i was 23 I went through the same situation, the only difference was i lost someone whom i was with for over 6 months to this girl. he left me to be with her and they now have 2 children together. he had to leave to be the father that the child so deserved, he didn't love her at the time but had to go and do what needed to be done because that's how he was raised. even though i was totally crushed i had no choice but to kiss him good bye and tell him that i wished him the best in everything. it doesn't always work out that way but you can not get upset over something you obviously had no control over. at 23 years of age, even though i'm not much older than you, i would expect you to be courteous and understanding in this type of situation. if you are having weird thoughts and are mad as hell, you should just get out of the relationship but first explain to him why you feel the way you do? JMO....Gina
5/7/2008 5:21:24 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
maleni321 Decatur, GA age: 23	thank you that was so well understood and i understand evry bit of it,,,some just dont know when life hits you it hit you hard, ,,,,, they go in this rude state of mind to give advice,,, not understandong they to must have been very hard that they give the rude type of advice,, that might not even be useful,,they just dont know some things we already know about life,,,,, but you respectfully ,got me to see where your coming from and i thank you
5/7/2008 5:40:58 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
yolandanewell Modesto, CA age: 37	My goodness... having children anymore is like going to the store and picking up milk!! Not meant to be mean or cruel... My ex husband - has never helped in supporting our now four year old daughter - yet has another woman pregnant... who insists on interfering constantly with my exhusband and our daughters relationship. I am a firm believer that women that get with men with children should keep their nose out of the relationship with that mommy AND the child unless everyone in the situation is adult enough to handle it.. first of all - the thoughts of having a child at 23 without higher education, maturity let alone marriage is just silly at FOUR MONTHS. You need to be out there finding a person to share YOUR life with - not someone that already, after four months, will unavoidably leave you having to compete for his attention.. these babies grow into children who grow into adults. There is the matter of passing on to a child life lessons - and my question to you is this.. how on earth are you going to sugar coat the fact that your first year of a relationship with this man has been overshadowed by another woman's pregnancy??? You deserve better than this however until you believe that yourself... you'll stay wrapped up in this situation trying to make the best of it. To get back to your question about how one feels when they find out that their boyfriend is having a child with another woman? Personally - I would feel that the man has much unfinished business to attend to, is irresponsible, has haphazard sexual relations, is unavailable emotionally because if he had been remotely emotionally attached to this woman than you wouldn't even be in the picture - because he would be responsible enough to know better, and finally - I would feel like telling him "good luck" and then grab your dancing shoes and head on out with the girls for a fun night out - which is where at 23, you should be... not taking on a relationship with a man and his unborn child AND the childs mother. The order of a child "given" to a man.. haha.. Let me just ask this... why do women always say "I want to give you a baby"???? Children aren't possessions. The decision to have a child is not about who gets knocked up first... haha.. sorry - just had to say that. (had to add this) - somehow there are men out there that lay this "burden" on women of being the person to GIVE THEM A CHILD... this always cracks me up because even I fell for that with my husband - well, I GAVE him a child and he GAVE HER BACK along with every ounce of responsibility that comes with raising her...which is the way I actually like it being that he has already (much like the man you're with) moved on and has began another life without finishing nor helping with the one that he's created... that last comment with the WTF symbol was not meant to be toward you - it was just toward that "give me a baby" mentality that some VERY immature men fling around. [Edited 5/7/2008 5:45:10 AM]
5/7/2008 6:15:10 AM	when your boyfriend ex is having a baby how do you feel?
maleni321 Decatur, GA age: 23	its so sad nowadays you really have to fend for your self ,,, gather up the walking shoes or wondering who the jirks and good one really are ,,,,seems like evryone has been foolish at time,,,which is how you know when you see it ,,to put up a red flag, make since to me.

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