| 6/5/2012 7:51:52 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Tell me something anything ;D
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 6/5/2012 7:57:47 PM |
Let's be...random |
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jhcee
Los Angeles, CA
34, joined May. 2012
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How many of these do we need to discuss they same shit
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| 6/5/2012 7:58:14 PM |
Let's be...random |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Shucks
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| 6/5/2012 7:59:20 PM |
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831james
Port Hueneme, CA
32, joined Apr. 2012
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wheres selma?
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| 6/5/2012 7:59:40 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Near fresno
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| 6/5/2012 8:04:19 PM |
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qlbrm2020
Fresno, CA
40, joined Jul. 2011
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Nintendo's 1st Party Characters who eats more food between  Kirby & Yoshi?
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| 6/5/2012 8:06:08 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Who's this ?
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| 6/5/2012 8:06:19 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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That*
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| 6/5/2012 8:10:28 PM |
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qlbrm2020
Fresno, CA
40, joined Jul. 2011
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 Kirby pink guy, Yoshi green dino
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| 6/5/2012 8:12:23 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Smh xD
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| 6/5/2012 8:14:35 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
[Edited 6/5/2012 8:15:07 PM ]
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| 6/5/2012 8:15:13 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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I'm already loud baby it's a lil too late xD
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| 6/5/2012 8:17:20 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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KOALA BEAR AND THE HOOKER
A koala bear and a hooker go back to her place and they get undressed. The koala bear goes down on the hooker for 3 hours straight. She has multiple orgasms!!! After 3 hours he stops, gets up and puts on his little koala clothes. The woman is hanging back huffing and puffing from exhaustion.
"Oh God,that was great! Now I need my money." The koala bear just looks at her and shrugs. Then the hooker says, "No, I need my money. I'm a hooker and this is how I make a living."
The koala bear just looks at her and continues to put on his clothes. Then the hooker gets up and runs to the bookshelf, grabs a dictionary and thumbs through it to "hooker." She hands it to the koala bear and it reads:
"HOOKER: person who has sex for money."
Then the koala bear turns the page to "koala bear" and walks out the door. The hooker reads:
"KOALA BEAR: Eats Bushes and Leaves."
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| 6/5/2012 8:18:43 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Lmfao wow
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| 6/5/2012 8:19:55 PM |
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831james
Port Hueneme, CA
32, joined Apr. 2012
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| 6/5/2012 8:20:26 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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That was good ill give u that one xD
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| 6/5/2012 8:21:37 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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TEN TIMES THE SIZE
The 6th grade science teacher asked her class, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered for a long time until little Mary stood up, angry, and told the teacher that she should not be asking 6th graders a question like that. She was going to tell her parents, who would tell the principal, who would fire the teacher! The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Finally Billy stood up and said that the body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye. The teacher said "Very good, Billy." Then she turned to Mary and said, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: 1) you have a dirty mind, 2) you didn't read your homework, and 3) one day you will be very, very disappointed."
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| 6/5/2012 8:23:16 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Ehhhh lol dame un beso(: lmfao
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| 6/5/2012 8:23:57 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Un beso me pediste, un beso to voy a dar  lol
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| 6/5/2012 8:24:32 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Finally lmfao
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| 6/5/2012 8:26:49 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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THE EULOGY
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. Again she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
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| 6/5/2012 8:35:23 PM |
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jhcee
Los Angeles, CA
34, joined May. 2012
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jhcee, how many times do go around talking shit to people.
SAME SHIT everyday. 
When I feel someone deserves an insult
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| 6/5/2012 9:03:10 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Then look in the mirror & talk shit to the person looking back at you
[Edited 6/5/2012 9:03:25 PM ]
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| 6/5/2012 9:05:55 PM |
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jhcee
Los Angeles, CA
34, joined May. 2012
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You may have these little bicthes on this site scared of you but to me your nothing but a loud mouth punk.
Do not worry I can back my shit up
[Edited 6/5/2012 9:06:29 PM ]
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| 6/5/2012 9:07:11 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Lol, I have no one scared on here.
If you think I'm just talk then show up.
But why even bother with when you didn't show up when you said you would.
Step off son, you aint want none.
[Edited 6/5/2012 9:08:13 PM ]
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| 6/5/2012 9:12:30 PM |
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jhcee
Los Angeles, CA
34, joined May. 2012
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It is all good
Like I said if we ever cross paths on the street and you have felt I disrespect you than we can deal with it
Whatever until then
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| 6/5/2012 9:13:24 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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You're so cool
I wanna be like you when I grow up.
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| 6/5/2012 9:16:23 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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Oh good, a fight. Go team! Go for blood!
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| 6/5/2012 9:16:45 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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Kill the Ump!
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| 6/5/2012 9:19:54 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Lol, hey shy how's it going?
How's the valley treating ya?
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| 6/5/2012 9:29:33 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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The Valley is warm and I'm bored. I applied for a job in Porterville. Almost got it.
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| 6/5/2012 9:58:48 PM |
Let's be...random |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Wooooow
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| 6/5/2012 10:00:55 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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Wooooow
Wooooow?
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| 6/5/2012 10:01:50 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Yup wooooow
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| 6/5/2012 10:02:16 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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What does that mean?
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| 6/5/2012 10:03:11 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Whatever u wanna take it as lol
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| 6/5/2012 10:05:39 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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You mean you want to marry me?
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| 6/5/2012 11:12:44 PM |
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angelone54
San Diego, CA
60, joined Jun. 2011
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LOL......Shy would you really marry an 18yr old
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| 6/5/2012 11:34:32 PM |
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shybutreadyb
Valley Village, CA
58, joined Jul. 2010
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I'll deal with that when it comes up.
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| 6/6/2012 12:29:53 AM |
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stallion509
Milpitas, CA
43, joined Dec. 2011
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I'll deal with that when it comes up.
I know shy is just pulling thier legs shy is not that dum, hes just having fun conversation with them angel don't get all bend out of shape angel. he...he..he,
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| 6/6/2012 5:46:44 PM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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THINGS I'VE LEARNED AS I GET OLDER AND WISER
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just a**holes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned to say F--- 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 different languages.
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| 6/6/2012 5:48:37 PM |
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annamollybk2c
Palmdale, CA
32, joined Apr. 2011
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lOl, I hate you Eddie.
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| 6/6/2012 5:50:45 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Lol, no you L
...I.K.E me!
Ehhhh, you thought I was gonna say l.o.v.e.
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| 6/6/2012 5:58:15 PM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Anna & Dima
Dima approaches Anna and says, "I vish to buy sex vit you."
"OK" says Anna, "I'll charge 20 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," Anna replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky." So off they go to the Anna's flat, where the Dima produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs."
Anna finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her elbows and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees." Anna duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." Anna find this odd, but it's harmless, and after all the Dima is paying well. The sex is fantastic.
Anna is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that Anna has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:
"That was totally amazing, where did you learn how to do that?"
"Ah," says Dima, "Four-sprung duck technique"
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| 6/6/2012 9:02:06 PM |
Let's be...random |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Ehh
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| 6/7/2012 10:21:02 AM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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HANDS AND LEGS
The Nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven.....which part of your Body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
The Nun said, "Why do you think that Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Clive raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face and said, "Now Clive, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Clive said, "Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God I'm coming."
"If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her," and with that the Nun fainted.
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| 6/7/2012 11:06:44 AM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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WIFE HUNT
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their trolleys around B&Q when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, a nice peachy bottom and she's wearing tight white shorts."
What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
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| 6/7/2012 9:45:19 PM |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
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Grrrrr -_-
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| 6/8/2012 10:18:26 AM |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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| 6/8/2012 11:04:13 AM |
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johnnyseesu
Northridge, CA
29, joined Jun. 2011
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There's no playoff games tonight.
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| 6/8/2012 12:35:49 PM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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About DH...
Prepare To Get Laid With A Different Woman Every Single Day ...
But First Read Our Guidelines Below:
We have over 500,000 members on our site who are ONLY looking for casual encounters. There is high chance that you will see a profile of someone you know. It may be a secretary from your office. It may be a girl from your college or school. It may be your ex g/f. Many of them will have explicit pictures on their profiles.
The Rules:
1. If you see someone you know, you DO NOT publicize it. Do not spread rumors.
2. When you sleep with any of our members, it is your responsibility to protect yourself against Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
3. Respect the desires of other members. Our members are normal men and women; they are not prostitutes.
4. We periodically close registration for men. This is to have approximately an equal number of male and female members. Registration for MEN 25+ is currently OPEN and it is FREE, so we advise you to register now, while slots for male members are open.
If you agree to terms & conditions, simply say:
I AGREE!
-cali_sav559
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| 6/8/2012 8:39:26 PM |
Let's be...random |
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nerd94
Selma, CA
23, joined May. 2012
|
About DH...
Prepare To Get Laid With A Different Woman Every Single Day ...
But First Read Our Guidelines Below:
We have over 500,000 members on our site who are ONLY looking for casual encounters. There is high chance that you will see a profile of someone you know. It may be a secretary from your office. It may be a girl from your college or school. It may be your ex g/f. Many of them will have explicit pictures on their profiles.
The Rules:
1. If you see someone you know, you DO NOT publicize it. Do not spread rumors.
2. When you sleep with any of our members, it is your responsibility to protect yourself against Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
3. Respect the desires of other members. Our members are normal men and women; they are not prostitutes.
4. We periodically close registration for men. This is to have approximately an equal number of male and female members. Registration for MEN 25+ is currently OPEN and it is FREE, so we advise you to register now, while slots for male members are open.
If you agree to terms & conditions, simply say:
I AGREE!
-cali_sav559
The most xD
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| 6/9/2012 7:32:01 AM |
Let's be...random |
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johnnyseesu
Northridge, CA
29, joined Jun. 2011
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"Dime si me has podido olvidar."
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| 6/9/2012 8:17:21 AM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Hello...
I just launched a mobile version of DF. If you try to access DF from your phone you should get re-directed to the mobile version automatically. It's optimized for small screens. It should work pretty good for all newer phones that have full web browsers. If you have an older phone it may or may not look great(it will be better than trying to view the regular DF site at any rate).
Please give me your comments. If something looks off tell me what it is, along with what phone you are using, and when you bought it.
I know it works great on the iPhone, pretty decent on newer blackberries, but I could not test it on all phones as the guy at the T-Mobile store was looking at me funny after awhile.
m.datef**k.com
Meet singles at DateF**k.com, we're 100% free! Join now!
Check out our awesome Android app!
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| 6/9/2012 2:39:57 PM |
Let's be...random |
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stallion509
Milpitas, CA
43, joined Dec. 2011
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Don't post crude messages ...ok
Dustin is not gonna be too happy,anyways I hope everybody's having a nice week end so far 
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| 6/9/2012 3:56:58 PM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
|
Hello...
I just launched a mobile version of DF. If you try to access DF from your phone you should get re-directed to the mobile version automatically. It's optimized for small screens. It should work pretty good for all newer phones that have full web browsers. If you have an older phone it may or may not look great(it will be better than trying to view the regular DF site at any rate).
Please give me your comments. If something looks off tell me what it is, along with what phone you are using, and when you bought it.
I know it works great on the iPhone, pretty decent on newer blackberries, but I could not test it on all phones as the guy at the T-Mobile store was looking at me funny after awhile.
m.datef**k.com
Meet singles at DateF**k.com, we're 100% free! Join now!
Check out our awesome Android app!
[Edited 6/9/2012 3:57:29 PM ]
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| 6/9/2012 3:59:00 PM |
Let's be...random |
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cali_sav559
Porterville, CA
30, joined Apr. 2012
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Don't post crude messages ...ok
Dustin is not gonna be too happy,anyways I hope everybody's having a nice week end so far
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| 6/9/2012 4:35:25 PM |
Let's be...random |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Bingo!
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| 6/11/2012 1:29:50 AM |
Let's be...random |
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johnnyseesu
Northridge, CA
29, joined Jun. 2011
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Hello! Hello!
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| 6/11/2012 8:22:09 AM |
Let's be...random |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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