temprano25
Austin, TX
31, joined May. 2012
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In November of 2009, I did a google search for volunteer projects in another country and the first organization that came up was United Planet and it gave me a choice between Brazil and Costa Rica and Costa Rica is what I chose. Why did I want to do volunteer work in another land? Because I was depressed. I truly felt like for the second half of 2009, I was dying a slow and painful death from depression like a sickness killing me from inside. In January of 2010, I officially flew into San Jose to begin a new journey. My first two nights, I was lost in a city without street signs or addresses but after many hours, I managed to arrive back at the hostel with help from a few Ticos.
When Day 3 began at orientation, I made more friends in one twenty-four hour period than in a lifetime living in the US. Volunteers from Germany, England, France, the US, Costa Rica, Denmark, Sweden, everywhere. After such a long time of feeling lonely, I was finally a part of something bigger than myself and I was happier than I had ever been. Don't get me wrong though, things in Costa Rica got difficult after we departed for our projects after two weeks. I worked in the village of Rio Celeste where I am not kidding, 99% of the people spoke Spanish with the 1% exception being my friend Eddy across the street who wanted me to teach him English and a couple of English teachers that had a hard time understanding my accent. I lived with a host family that spoke entirely in Spanish; the people at my project spoke entirely in Spanish and I had no choice but to learn Spanish every way I could like joining them at one of their three local churches. My project involved among other things serving food to a room of twenty mothers and their children and it was always interesting hearing three-year-olds speak Spanish perfectly while I was learning it one word at a time in the dictionary. I taught them a few English classes then in my last week living there, I treated them to The Dark Knight in Spanish with English subtitles. Maybe they learned some English and maybe not but Batman is an important part of my childhood and of North American culture and I was happy to share it with them.
Not only did I have far more friends in Costa Rica, I also felt I had more romantic prospects. When I was living in Dallas and lonely as hell, I would always go out somewhere to have fun and always come back feeling kicked in the teeth because somebody always treated me like garbage and the women clearly hated the male species. Living in Dallas, I can say the best thing about it was Dirk Nowitzki's playoff run and now that it is over, we suck again.
In Costa Rica, I could be minding my own business and some woman would materialize out of nowhere wanting to talk to me. Not just Costa Rican women, although there were plenty but European women too. I developed a philosophy that everybody has a rockstar inside waiting to break out but that their stage is not where they are at the moment. And by the way, I keep hearing that Latina women are warm to gringos because they want money and a greencard, that is a lot of nonsense. Every woman I knew in Costa Rica was content to be there just as I was. One woman I know in Tuccurique is star-strikingly beautiful but also exudes enormous love for her family and that love extended to the twenty young people sleeping in her small house for the weekend. Donald Trump could have proposed to her and nothing would have gotten her away from that small house by the waterfall in Tuccurique.
Sadly, I had to come back to the US at some point and that is I think where everything went wrong. For the initial few days, it was nice to be sleeping in my own bed with air conditioning but after that passed, I just felt disenchantment with Arlington and all of the buildings and highways and people in their cars trapped by metal and glass. It was like I had been asleep dreaming a good dream and then woke up in Arlington continuing to die a slow and agonizing death just as I was before going to Costa Rica. I tried to smile at people and they were too engaged in their damn cell phones to notice anyone around them. Everybody is so individualistic, they have zero interest in anyone else. I was going back to school but I was sinking deeper and deeper into oblivion and taking anti-depressants in the middle of class. By the time Christmas came, I was just sick of everything all over again to the point I wanted to projectile vomit each day. I can admit to being a spoiled American kid but if being a spoiled American kid were the path to happiness, I would not have needed to go to Costa Rica. After a serious rough patch, I found two things to keep me going. One of them is playing basketball like a religion and the other one is salsa dancing. I found a place called Gloria's where I have been going each Saturday for over a year now because the majority of the women are either black, Latina or from India and I know what type of women I like.
None of my friends ever come with me. Why? Cause screw them. Every time I ask somebody to join me, I hear another lame BS excuse, the best one being "I have a warrant for my arrest. I need to stay out of public places." It becomes more irritating each time and so I have given up on most everyone in my life.
I dress up every Saturday night to go dancing because if I don't make the decision to go out and meet women, nobody is going to make that decision for me. I go alone, I put on a friendly mask and I directly ask every woman at every table to dance because there was a rockstar born in Costa Rica and he is not going to die anytime soon. This drummer from Puerto Rico calls me a force of nature.
Still, it really sucks not having friends. I can put on the mirage of being a friendly, fun-loving person who is dancing and having a good time but I cannot hide that fact from myself. Dancing is not fun anymore, women are not nearly as enchanting as they used to be and basketball has been more sadness and fatigue despite my frequent explosions of energy. None of it is truly fun anymore. It is just a way to keep the blood flowing.
And another thing, these bleeding online job applications are an exercise in idiocy. I don't care what century we live in, face to face communication does not need to change! I am not a damn machine and if I wanted to talk to one, I would talk to my smart phone, which everybody seems to have now.
Modern American society, while "convenient", is just making me feel more peeved.
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tica5656
Tigre
Argentina
36, joined Sep. 2011
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It is a different culture in Costa Rica. I'm glad you got to see how much heart my people have. They are very welcoming.
And I'm sorry but you are right about Dallas people. They are a different breed...not all but most. No wonder you got so depressed going back to that.
But its good that you found something else to get into. And hopefully there you will find people with the same interests as you. Keep at it..I'm sure you are bound to find friends who share your interests. Good luck to you.
[Edited 7/20/2012 9:08:31 PM ]
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lookin4ones
Hurst, TX
57, joined Oct. 2010
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@ tica5656 I'm thinking of moving to Houston.
Do you have any pointers for me?
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tica5656
Tigre
Argentina
36, joined Sep. 2011
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Coming from LA I'm sure you will get use to the traffic. If you move anywhere inside the loop 610 expect higher rent. Downtown and Midtown properties are pretty horrendous and overly priced. We are a very very spread out city. The best thing I would recommend is to figure out where you will be working and get a car and look in that side of town first.
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jcmaine
Farmington, ME
37, joined May. 2011
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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vegged40
Hampshire
United Kingdom
45, joined Jan. 2013
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Just wanted to say, I visited Costa Rica for 2 weeks some years ago now. It was an incredible holiday, an amazing and unforgettable place. The people were amazing, so friendly. Hope I can go back someday.
Jane, from the Uk.
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