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Dating Jokes by John Schmidt

Quarterback

Todd took his girlfriend Gina to her first football game. After the game, Todd asked Gina if she enjoyed the game.

“Yeah, it was okay I guess… but I don’t really get why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.” Gina said.

“What do you mean, honey?” said Todd.

“Well the crowd kept screaming ‘get the quarter back’.”

Be sure to try these jokes out on some of our personals today!


Dating V.S Marriage [Men]


When you’re dating… he’s always up for a chick flick because he’s a “sensitive guy.”
When you’re married… he doesn’t take you to the movies because it’s a waste of money.

When you’re dating… he takes you out to a fancy restaurant every weekend.
When you’re married… you eat hungry man dinners because the game is on.

When you’re dating… he holds you tightly while watching a movie.
When you’re married… he scratches his ass while watching a movie.

When you’re dating… he gives you money to buy expensive shoes.
When you’re dating… he yells at you for buying shoes that cost more than $30.

When you’re dating… he’s constantly at the gym.
When you’re married… He’s growing a beer gut. In his exact words he is “His beer gut is an investment. It saves money on an expensive gym membership and lowers the electric bill because his beer gut gives him warmth.”

Dating V.S Marriage [Women]

When you’re dating… she makes you homemade meals every night.
When you’re married… the closest you got to homemade is KFC.

When you’re dating… she always looks slim.
When you’re married… you found out she was wearing spanx all along.

When you’re dating… she wants to have sex every other day.
When you’re married… she’s willing to have sex with you once every month.

When you’re dating…. Her legs are always silky smooth
When you’re married… Her legs feel like a bed of prickly needles.

When you’re dating… he waxes his chest because you find it sexy.
When you’re married… the forest grows, because it’s not your choice anymore.

Links to Dating Jokes

Things to Not Say to Your Girlfriend’s Parents

I Love Her, But…

Blind Date

Jewelry Store

Taxi Driver

Bar Experiment

Dating Test

Men Are Like…

Dating Ad Decoder

Children’s Perspective on Dating

The Dating Dictionary for Men

The Talking Frog

Dear Tech Support

Guy Talk Translator

Dating Rules Guys Wish Women Knew

Wedding Rehearsal

page last edited by John Schmidt


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