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8/25/2012 8:17:31 PM First date after a divorce  
mayflylady
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,045)
Conyers, GA
56, joined Jun. 2012


I've always heard you shouldnt be the first date someone dates after their divorce. The reason I heard is that you are most likely somewhat like their ex since thats what they were attracted to last time around.

True or false in your experience?

The first guy I dated after my divorce was like my ex after I thought about it - type a personality, controlling and emotionless. Was I just desperate for human contact? maybe - he had money and we went to some nice places but never in a year told me how he felt about me. Maybe thats what i needed at the time.......

Just curious how people feel about this.

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8/25/2012 8:23:50 PM First date after a divorce  
jaded_eyez
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,622)
Madison, GA
45, joined Aug. 2012


FIRST!

ya know, now that you say that, I look back at the first guy I dated after my divorce, yelp pretty much identical in personality, and appearance just about. Not sure what really happened, been so long ago, we didn't see each other after that date. Oh well, better off anyway!



[Edited 8/25/2012 8:23:58 PM ]

8/25/2012 8:27:32 PM First date after a divorce  
cris770
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,378)
Kingston, GA
41, joined Jul. 2012


2nd.


Sucked I was so nervous I literally blew it



[Edited 8/25/2012 8:28:57 PM ]

8/25/2012 8:55:33 PM First date after a divorce  

bitahunni
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,539)
Lawrenceville, GA
50, joined Jun. 2011


My first date was with a guy that I had no chemistry with. I felt really guilty about not feeling any chemistry since he seemed such a nice guy. He was wanting to touch my chest on the second date and I didn't let him. After the third date I knew there would be no chemistry developing on my part. Asked a male friend how to dump the guy. One of the things I realized was that he didn't want to talk about anything that was unpleasant. Well things in life are not always pleasant. I can't develop chemistry without emotional intimacy. For me in order to develop emotional intimacy I need to share with that person about things going on in my life both pleasant and unpleasant.

8/25/2012 9:03:07 PM First date after a divorce  
towfrog1
Lawrenceville, GA
61, joined Jun. 2012


Well I have never married so I dont know
I hope when I do marry it will be forever

8/25/2012 9:28:38 PM First date after a divorce  
yajusneverkno
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,816)
Oxford, AL
52, joined Oct. 2008


False, she was nothing at all like my ex. None of the others were either. Actually I don't think any of them had anything in common

8/25/2012 9:50:30 PM First date after a divorce  

robtest
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (26,785)
Norcross, GA
56, joined Sep. 2008


the first couple relationships post divorce are normally called "transitionals" because they don't last long... Whether you deny it or not, your mind is fried from the divorce, you aren't ready for a serious relationship... Now someone can start dating someone that is recently singled, but have no expectations of longevity... Albeit the sex should be good...



I remember my first dating experience after getting divorced. I had met this woman in a local bar, we went out a couple times, and then went to dinner and a movie. I took her back home and kissed her good night. On the way back to my house, I pulled over on the side of the road and threw up... Yeah, I wasn't quite ready to be dating yet...

8/25/2012 10:11:25 PM First date after a divorce  
370nismo1
Over 1,000 Posts (1,708)
Lawrenceville, GA
52, joined Aug. 2012


True


When you first get out of a relationship. It most likely will not work out. With the next person you date.

It takes a long time to get over a relationship. Expecially if it was a long relationship. Just my opinion. I'm just here for the cake.

8/25/2012 10:56:14 PM First date after a divorce  
c__h__r__i__s
Over 1,000 Posts (1,003)
Las Cruces, NM
43, joined Sep. 2011


I would disagree with this, I dated a lady immediately after her divorce, we ended up being together for about six years until I had to move away, otherwise we probably would still be together.

8/25/2012 10:59:18 PM First date after a divorce  
misschevious2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,302)
Rockmart, GA
55, joined Jul. 2009


It was actually six years after my divorce. I wasn't looking for anything else other than company for a dinner and that was exactly what I got. Nice people who were looking for the same thing as I was, so ... I attempted dating again with the idea of a relationship eight years after the divorce and it worked for a year and a half... I was ready and ok by the time it started and ended.

8/25/2012 10:59:47 PM First date after a divorce  

bitahunni
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,539)
Lawrenceville, GA
50, joined Jun. 2011


When I was first divorced I was into meeting different people. Second guy I went out with tried to persuade me into a casual sexual relationship. No.

8/25/2012 11:01:09 PM First date after a divorce  
luvspells
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,798)
Whitesburg, GA
43, joined Apr. 2011


I'll have to report back.

8/25/2012 11:07:33 PM First date after a divorce  
georgiayettie
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,000)
Cumming, GA
47, joined Jul. 2011


I was married 17 years the first go around. If the second last that long I'll be happy or dead since it will be a long time before I marry again if ever

8/25/2012 11:11:22 PM First date after a divorce  
jaded_eyez
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,622)
Madison, GA
45, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from georgiayettie:
I was married 17 years the first go around. If the second last that long I'll be happy or dead since it will be a long time before I marry again if ever


I feel ya on that Artie! I don't have the desire to ever be married again! Was only married 9 yrs but together 14,,,and that was a lot of time we wasted I feel.

8/26/2012 1:18:40 AM First date after a divorce  

i_stan
Over 1,000 Posts (1,326)
Byron, GA
67, joined Aug. 2010


I have not had a "date?" since my divorce in October 2008 . . . I prefer to "just pay cash for my sex." . . .

8/26/2012 1:56:55 PM First date after a divorce  
lasagna_rawks
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,296)
Lawrenceville, GA
44, joined Aug. 2012


Every guy I've dated (seriously dated) my entire life has been different with the exception of personality. They all had really good, funny, optimistic, personalities, at least in the beginning. They don't resemble one another physically, at all, except height. I do like tall men but I never started liking a man for that reason.

They've been poor, well off(but never rich ), blue collar, white collar executives and all have been good looking, at least to me. Well, all but one. (Won't ever do that again.)

Anyway, I would not want to be someone's first date after a divorce or breakup. I wasn't the first date but I was the first relationship very shortly after an ex's divorce and I believe that had a bit to do with our breakup. He wanted to get out there and play the field a little more. People need to do that. Being and knowing you are the rebound, sux.

But every situation is different. Attraction is not a choice. We can't help how our heart feels.



[Edited 8/26/2012 1:58:17 PM ]

8/26/2012 1:59:52 PM First date after a divorce  
georgiayettie
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,000)
Cumming, GA
47, joined Jul. 2011


<--- always on the prowl for rebound sex

8/26/2012 4:27:54 PM First date after a divorce  
tomell80
Carrollton, GA
55, joined May. 2011


Melanie was the first date I had after my divorce. She came over and I made us dinner, it was very nice.

8/26/2012 4:32:54 PM First date after a divorce  

s_g
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,115)
Kennesaw, GA
56, joined Oct. 2008


Quote from tomell80:
Melanie was the first date I had after my divorce. She came over and I made us dinner, it was very nice.


She came to your house on a first date....and lived
where is she



worked out pretty good in this case

8/26/2012 4:35:55 PM First date after a divorce  
tomell80
Carrollton, GA
55, joined May. 2011


Quote from s_g:
She came to your house on a first date....and lived
where is she



worked out pretty good in this case


She came to spend the weekend!

8/27/2012 8:38:58 AM First date after a divorce  

enjoying_life80
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,634)
Muncie, IN
51, joined Oct. 2011


I'm the opposite. I usually mourn the death of my relationship while I am still in it. By the time I tell them to get the hell out of my life...I mean it! If I get the guts to finally tell him to get f**king lost, I'm ready to move on. Later he will be saying I'm always shocked because I think he should have seen it coming. I'm not a nice person if I've been hurt and I am finally over you.