| 3/9/2014 3:01:52 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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smoothjazz71
Goldsboro, NC
46, joined Nov. 2013
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I lost my girl 6 months ago and when i first got on datehookup, some say its too soon but i need a true friend and havent found that here yet
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| 3/9/2014 3:12:37 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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barb61270
De Witt, IA
64, joined Nov. 2011
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I am sorry for your loss. The grieving experience is a personal experience so therefore the length of time is unique to each individual. It has been six years since my husband died. For me this has a journey of growth and grieving. In another thread in Widowers Whistler talks about how part of the grieving experience is redefining yourself as an individual incorporating everything your life as a couple taught you. (He said it so much better.) As to meeting another person, it takes time. There are no guarantees on this dating site or anywhere else. For me personally, I finally had to accept that I will meet someone when the time is right. God's time, not my time. Peace on your journey. Wishing you all the best. 
Quote from lovethelake17:
I was just totally lost about that. It took a long time before I stopped seeing 'us' and my identity as who I was in relationship to him.
I can't even tell you when it happened. I think it was so gradual that I didn't notice. I just started being me.
Mind you, it's not the person I was before him, and it's not the person I was with him. It's the person I am now tempered by having loved him. It sounds fanciful, but I don't know how else to explain it.
quote from Whistlerblue
You did a very fine job explaining it. Thank you.
I am the person I am now because of her. The 26 years we spent together influenced who I am today. My opinions, my outlook on life, and my personal experiences in life have all been affected by my time with her.
[Edited 3/9/2014 3:14:14 PM ]
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| 3/9/2014 10:42:50 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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qlindar
Paradise, CA
65, joined Nov. 2013
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It's been a little over 6 months for me and I'm ready to move on. I agree with Barb that grieving is a personal journey and some paths are shorter than others, while some are longer. I'm enjoying getting re-acquainted with myself. I miss his companionship. But I focus more on the new things I'm enjoying....like all the chick flicks I missed and can watch w/o hearing complaints about them.
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| 3/18/2014 12:09:20 AM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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24milkduds
San Francisco, CA
58, joined Mar. 2012
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Each person is different...all the above is great info...my condolences
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| 3/22/2014 9:18:09 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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happyg1
Morganton, NC
49, joined Aug. 2012
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The love of my life has been gone now for a yr an almost 7 months....I thought I was fine but as the weather changes I find myself missing him more an more, oh my what I wouldn't give to go back to that safe place I had with him, when life was so simple.....guess what I am saying is well a yr an 7 months is still NOT long enough... guess I will be grieving for MANY years to come, I'm not ready to let go, an until a person is ready to let go the grieving process may take a life time 
So good luck op hope your journey is easier than mine 
Oh and actually I was here before he died....I thought it was to soon too but I wasn't looking for a replacement only comfort. Sad to say it didn't help much but I'm still here so it didn't hurt either
So good luck op I DO feel your pain
[Edited 3/22/2014 9:21:55 PM ]
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| 3/26/2014 7:37:31 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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nanseeksnew1959
Hudson, NY
58, joined Jan. 2013
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Condolences to everyone here. Yes it is a personal thing. I am two years in a couple of weeks, I am lonely I would like to start dating... not ready to jump into a relationship unless it presents it self. I am open to what comes. But being alone all the time is not the best either. Glad to meet you all. 
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| 3/26/2014 10:48:33 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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miss_patty56
Tulsa, OK
59, joined Mar. 2014
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Don't let someone else tell you it hasn't been long enough. Each situation is different I only lost my husband 9 going on 10 months ago and I loved the man but he was a compulsive lair and put a strain on my family and the marriage with his lies. I stayed with this man for 20 years and I know he would be happy that I am not sitting around mourning all the time like I use to. So don't listen to anyone else because they are not in your shoes.
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| 3/31/2014 8:51:07 AM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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yetskimama
Walterboro, SC
66, joined Sep. 2011
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different for each person.
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| 3/31/2014 11:28:42 AM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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lvdisney
Encino, CA
62, joined Dec. 2013
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It was married to the love of my life for 27 years. It has now been almost 5 years, & I just joined online dating a few months ago. I am now ready to start the next new chapter of my life. I will never forget or stop loving my late husband, but am ready to find a new and different love. Everyone is different in the time it takes to heal. I wish everyone good luck.
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| 4/4/2014 12:15:49 PM |
Who can say how long a person needs to grieve? |
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mrbargar
Dayton, OH
76, joined Nov. 2013
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I just came across this site and would like to make a couple of comments. My beautiful wife of 55 years, passed away slightly less than a year ago. My grief was as bad as anyone else's, but began to lessen (not stopped) after 3 or 4 months. I did not need love, nor sex, just someone of reasonably comparable age and compatibility to talk with and hug. The hug brought a closeness that cannot be explained, but it had to be heartfelt and compassionate. (I really cannot express it adequately).
Now what I found on most sites was that many women have moved beyond the phase that I was in, and were looking for a younger, affluent, romantic, superhero. In other words someone to fulfill all their wish list. Please women, there just aren't any. There are many lonely men out there, but you have to take the time and ask the right questions to find them. There are also many liars and exploiters out there. Be careful, very careful.
What little experience I have has come from reading profiles, talking frankly with some of the women, and knowing what I was like when much younger (absolutely rotten). The pattern is still the same. Not talking down to anyone and just being honest in my thinking, here is my summation. Most me are thinking with the wrong part of their anatomy, and women are doing more wishing than thinking. This is compounded while in loneliness and grief.
God Bless each of you.
mrgarbar
'Gary'
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