Time doesn't heal all wounds.

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3/16/2014 8:00:52 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
justkeepswiming Tulsa, OK 38, joined Sep. 2013	It's been nearly 13 years since our story came to a cold end. Though I don't break down every half hour , the emptiness and the pain are still there. There's not a single day that I don't miss her. The magnitude of the shock wave of this effects my every decision. I'm terrible at starting relationships and usually end up getting used or cheated on because I jump to help the wrong ones too quickly. I don't need your sympathy or wisdom. I just need a place I can say these things to people who understand. I'm not scared to be alone I'm scared to get comfortable being alone and missing out on so much life and dying alone. Your next sunrise isn't guaranteed so I have a tendency to give my all from the beginning but never to someone who deserves it. My son will never know how amazing she was. He was only 3. He missed out on so much. I've gotten past the self blame and am trying to believe she would be proud of most everything I've done for him. Her words haunted me so long looking down on me. I'm doing so good but still after 13 years I see how her death negatively effects me and it hurts today like it was last month. I've lost so many since that I loved dearly and it opens it all back up again. it's hard to find a woman who can accept me with the emotions I have. I'm more of a girl than most girls Thank you for reading this. Josh. A poem for the masses on Facebook. Writers wanted ... Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
3/16/2014 8:45:24 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
older_rh_sc Rock Hill, SC 56, joined Dec. 2012
3/17/2014 11:55:20 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
24milkduds Vallejo, CA 58, joined Mar. 2012	Time does heal if you allow it..how else would you have come along raising u're children... maybe you should work on you before entering another relationship...I suggest Grieve counseling offered free at Hospice...we get so caught up living in our past that we aren't aware and we stay stuck..good luck
3/22/2014 8:06:21 AM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
my2sunshine Pulaski, NY 51, joined Apr. 2013	13 years...I think grief counseling is needed at this point. Not only for you but for your son probably too.
3/23/2014 2:24:23 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
dwyn Elk City, OK 69, joined May. 2013	TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS. THE WORDS "I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS" ARE LIKE A TWISTING KNIFE. WE WERE THRUST INTO A LIFE NOT OF OUR CHOICE AND ... THERE IS LITTLE TO NO REAL UNDERSTANDING OUT THERE. NO ONE LIKES TO HEAR HARD LUCK STORIES, AND EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM YOU. MY FIRST HUSBAND DIES WHEN I WAS 18. A FEW YEARS LATER I FOUND ANOTHER WHO HAD LOST HIS WIFE. WE RESPECTED ONE ANOTHERS PAIN BECAUSE WE KNEW THE PAIN. AFTER A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE HE DIED OF CANCER. I HAVE BEEN A WIDOW NOW 13 YEARS. AT MY AGE I HAVE LITTLE TO NO SUPPORT AND AM RIDICULEDBY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR WANTING LOVE AGAIN. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS FIND SOMEONE WITH A LIKE LOSS AND RESPECT. NONE OF US DESERVE TO DIE ALONE.
3/23/2014 4:36:44 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
needsome1kind Pecatonica, IL 35, joined Jan. 2014	I don't know if time so much heals the wounds, but making strides to move forward and move on seem to seal the wounds enough that life can almost return to normal. But you have to let the wounds stay sealed. Once I learned to stop licking the wounds, it made life easier and the happiness started to return in my life.
3/26/2014 7:28:32 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
older_rh_sc Rock Hill, SC 56, joined Dec. 2012	I'm not healed. But I know, not to fear death and understand that death is a part of life! Once I've accepted that fact I can live.
3/29/2014 11:22:58 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
dwyn Elk City, OK 69, joined May. 2013	Not everyone is the same. Not everyone handles grief in the same manner. Your words sound as though there is no room in the grief process or loss other than your way. Grief does not last 13 years. As a health care practitioner I have learned that all of us make choices in life and re marriage is not always the next step. It is easy to criticize others rather than to support them. Lighten up My2Sunshine.
3/30/2014 11:46:58 AM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
yetskimama Walterboro, SC 67, joined Sep. 2011	Quote from dwyn: Not everyone is the same. Not everyone handles grief in the same manner. Your words sound as though there is no room in the grief process or loss other than your way. Grief does not last 13 years. As a health care practitioner I have learned that all of us make choices in life and re marriage is not always the next step. It is easy to criticize others rather than to support them. Lighten up My2Sunshine.[/quot
3/30/2014 1:33:10 PM	Time doesn't heal all wounds.
barb61270 De Witt, IA 65, joined Nov. 2011	If you are defining healing as feeling the wholeness as you did before becoming a widower, you are correct. Time will not make you feel that way. You will never heal. I am unaware of anything that is going to make life like it was. Anyone who has survived the loss of a loved one has acquired emotional scars. Similar to a scar from a knee replacement in time you learn to walk again, possibly your gait has changed because the pain is more or less, the leg is shorter or longer, etc. It takes time to redefine ourselves as a single person from being a couple. Depending on who is posting could take 12-24 months to multiple years. There are lots of factors in our healing process: willingness to let go, the previous emotional baggage in our life, children, finances, and whatever. I a widow of six years. My journey is one step at a time. I would say for me about 4 years I began feeling more comfortable in my own skin. It was difficult letting go of the couple concept. I would welcome the opportunity to be a relationship unfortunately that has not happened as of today. I quoted in a different thread Lake and Oceanair (hope I have that correct) comments that our journey of healing includes redefining who we are as widows and widowers. This recovery journey is one day at a time and is as personal as each of us. Peace to everyone.