What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?

6/21/2014 1:04:03 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	One of my primary goals is piecing me back together and maintain a loving relationship with myself. My next goal is to learn from my last and create a new maintenance plan for springing forward in my new skin. I refuse to walk around in life paranoid. God bless me and this forum and those who participate. (for the ladies with due respect) Gentleman you're on your own...lol Everyone is welcome to leave a message Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
6/21/2014 5:36:22 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
moonbeams73 Grand Rapids, MN 62, joined Sep. 2009	My primary goal was to assist my kids through the grieving process and come out, well healed and living happy successful lives. I have accomplished that.
6/21/2014 9:43:03 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
gilligains Saint Helens, OR 33, joined Apr. 2014	At first my primary goal was to survive. Minute by minute at times that slowly turned into hours and into days. Being the best father I could be came next. Both my daughters received high marks in school this year and great praise from their teachers so I feel I may not be doing quite as bad a job as I had feared. At this point my main objective is to become more comfortable with the loss. It's not really anything I can work towards but it's something I know is on its way.
6/21/2014 6:18:14 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
bigboylmfao Catlettsburg, KY 52, joined May. 2014	Learn to survive
6/21/2014 9:42:36 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from moonbeams73: My primary goal was to assist my kids through the grieving process and come out, well healed and living happy successful lives. I have accomplished that. Thank you for responding. I'm learning from you.
6/21/2014 9:46:25 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from gilligains: At first my primary goal was to survive. Minute by minute at times that slowly turned into hours and into days. Being the best father I could be came next. Both my daughters received high marks in school this year and great praise from their teachers so I feel I may not be doing quite as bad a job as I had feared. At this point my main objective is to become more comfortable with the loss. It's not really anything I can work towards but it's something I know is on its way. Congratulations on your ability to be a better father and fill both shoes. Single father's rock!(
6/21/2014 11:58:07 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
gilligains Saint Helens, OR 33, joined Apr. 2014	Quote from oceanair777: Congratulations on your ability to be a better father and fill both shoes. Single father's rock!( Thank you. Grieving your own loss plus helping them with theirs has been an immensely challenging aspect of this. Complicating matters, she had been a stay at home mother since our first was born, who was 7 (our youngest 6) when she passed. So the loss for them was just as acute to stay with. Granted it has yet to cease amazing me how resilient young children can be. They function very well at this point while I still have tendencies to struggle. If i may offersome advice. I've recently discovered the healing powers of a professional massage. (And no a happy ending isn't part of this) there's something about the physical contact without anything asexual, no meaning, no desires, with nothing expected in return. Massages had been recommended to me before and I had had one shortly after she had passed. I hadn't even begun to truly process my grief, so it hadn't helped. I recently met a woman who had requested to give me one, too which I reluctantly agreed. I can assure to you that I hadn't felt that relaxed, relieved and whole since my wife's passing. I have now added this in addition to meditating into my Arsenal for coping and growing.
6/26/2014 9:45:54 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010	ummmm Just a wild shot in the dark, OP ~~ ...to heal (from the grief and pain of the loss)?
6/28/2014 4:14:27 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from cupocheer: ummmm Just a wild shot in the dark, OP ~~ ...to heal (from the grief and pain of the loss)? Your message has been duly noted.
7/26/2014 7:55:54 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
peachy1954 Sacramento, CA 63, joined Oct. 2010	Because I had teens in the home when suddenly widowed it was about keeping the kids going towards our parenting goals but slowly it has transitioned to being towards some of my own goals. Some of those have actually changed from what they were when I was married. I think that is natural ; people do find out some of their goals change even if not widowed. Some changes had to be because of economic changes. Sure there is the "survivor benefits" that I am grateful for but it is still not as affordable to buy the "help" that a missing partner brings to a relationship. I don't mind being a new helpmate but I am not looking to be a free version of a maid/nanny/escort/nurse or a meal ticket while someone hoards their assets for the pre-existing relationships. I am sympathetic to guys that are treated like a free "Honey-do man but the women come off like they are being used if they then expect a little "Honey will". Bottom line is relationships "should" be balanced/reciprocal. I get for the newly widowed some things are not on the table for good reason but it can't be so one sided that other's feel used.
9/18/2014 2:58:31 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
24milkduds San Francisco, CA 58, joined Mar. 2012	Trying to just take care of me
9/19/2014 4:07:41 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
tasgosa Knob Noster, MO 62, joined Jul. 2013	Getting over it.... kept reminding myself that SHE wants me to "...find Someone New....that you can Love as much... and as Well... A you have Loved ME..!!!" *** 16 years later....I'm beginning to think that I ~M A Y~ disappoint her...!!!
9/27/2014 6:43:35 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
maviebaby400 Salt Lake City, UT 54, joined Mar. 2014	My healing goal was to try to keep going and stay active. When you sit and think it don't help. I started a exercise fitness plan to keep my mind healthy. I keep in touch with my kids to make sure they are ok all the time.know they will always be with you know matter what you do.
10/9/2014 9:56:21 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
marlotho Slippery Rock, PA 61, joined Aug. 2012	Quote from oceanair777: One of my primary goals is piecing me back together and maintain a loving relationship with myself. My next goal is to learn from my last and create a new maintenance plan for springing forward in my new skin. I refuse to walk around in life paranoid. God bless me and this forum and those who participate. (for the ladies with due respect) Gentleman you're on your own...lol Everyone is welcome to leave a message Thank you for the rose. I never really thought about goals. I just try to survive and maybe find another true love.
10/11/2014 1:43:59 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	I don't know if I had a goal when it first happened. A couple of years afterwards I just wanted to get my strength back. I thought I was strong but I found out my strength was mostly from her.
10/12/2014 8:31:17 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from marlotho: Thank you for the rose. I never really thought about goals. I just try to survive and maybe find another true love. You're welcome. Surviving and finding someone new in time is a great way to do it. Thank you.
1/16/2015 11:08:17 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
inndigo1 O Fallon, IL 50, joined Nov. 2013	[Edited 1/16/2015 11:11:23 PM ]
1/16/2015 11:09:04 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
inndigo1 O Fallon, IL 50, joined Nov. 2013	To get back my "complete" joy and to live life to its fullest. That's the goal
1/17/2015 6:34:01 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from inndigo1: To get back my "complete" joy and to live life to its fullest. That's the goal Maintaining joy within and living life to the fullest is one of life's greatest gifts. I wish you well in your journey.
1/17/2015 12:22:32 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
inndigo1 O Fallon, IL 50, joined Nov. 2013	Thank you.
1/17/2015 7:18:21 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from inndigo1: Thank you. You're very welcome.
1/24/2015 8:43:36 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010	Patience ... Acceptance ... Time
1/24/2015 9:02:21 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
friendsonly46 Locust Grove, OK 49, joined Jan. 2015	My boyfriend died in front of me. I can't get it out of my head. I'm lonely, but afraid. Scared to take the next step!
1/25/2015 4:51:54 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from friendsonly46: My boyfriend died in front of me. I can't get it out of my head. I'm lonely, but afraid. Scared to take the next step![/quote Only you can make the first step to try again. Life can bring tragic moments but you must encourage yourself. I wish you well.
6/23/2015 5:15:36 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
yuhaszb Indiana, PA 45, joined May. 2014	When I Lost My Husband to Cancer. I went to a lot of Groups with others that had Lost the loves of their lives to Cancer as well and it helped me to know that I was not alone. It has been 8 years since but I think that my main goal was to get out of bed and do the things that was suppose to be done through many tears and heartbreak. and try to do what he would want me to do.
6/25/2015 7:50:06 AM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
janet5360 Pittsburgh, PA 64, joined Dec. 2013	Learning to be independent. It took a while, had to work the five steps of grieving. Now I think I am too independent and would like to meet someone that doesn't mind that.
6/28/2015 2:55:12 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
oceanair777 Reston, VA 53, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from janet5360: Learning to be independent. It took a while, had to work the five steps of grieving. Now I think I am too independent and would like to meet someone that doesn't mind that. Continue to embrace forward progress.
6/28/2015 4:32:57 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
becqrz Austin, TX 47, joined Oct. 2014	Learning to live life alone. Went from parents house, to marriage and after his death almost 3 years ago, had to learn to adjust to my "new life". I am in my new skin and happy with results.
6/28/2015 4:38:48 PM	What is your primary goal when healing from the loss of a loved one?
amron1926 Washington, DC 46, joined Jun. 2014	Forgive and let go of the hurt and pain so I could move on.

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