More comedy!

7/27/2015 8:44:17 AM	More comedy!
sldcorp Salt Lake City, UT 53, joined Jun. 2013	While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?" "I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You've gotta be kiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?" Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree & pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left. Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?" He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day... cupcake!" Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
11/16/2015 10:39:31 PM	More comedy!
sldcorp Salt Lake City, UT 53, joined Jun. 2013	A hurricane capsizes a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A stock broker washes ashore on a remote island. Outside of the beautiful scenery, a fresh water pool and bananas, there is little else. One day, after several months have passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appears. "Wow! I can't believe I found another person!" she exclaims. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answers. "Where did you get that rowboat?" "Oh," she says, "I found it washed up on the beach. Where is your shelter?" "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the sand," he says. She invites him to her side of the island. Once she's rowed them to her side, she ties up the boat with hand-woven rope. "It took forever to find enough washed up strands to braid that length of rope," she tells him. She leads him to a cozy bungalow painted blue and green. "I scouted for felled trees and then stained the salvaged wood with these really juicy berries I found in the jungle," she tells him. Once inside, she excuses herself to slip into something more comfortable. She returns wearing revealing silk lingerie, smiling provocatively. "I found some washed up suitcases from the cruise ship a few weeks ago," she tells him. "But now that I've found you, I finally have a reason to wear something sexy again. Tell me, haven't you been lonely? Isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something you've been longing for, too?" "Oh wow!" exclaims the man. "You mean you've found the Internet, too?!"
12/18/2015 8:49:07 AM	More comedy!
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010
1/31/2016 6:45:47 PM	More comedy!
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010
3/4/2016 2:26:08 PM	More comedy!
sldcorp Salt Lake City, UT 53, joined Jun. 2013	A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
3/8/2016 5:59:30 PM	More comedy!
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010
5/5/2016 4:38:02 PM	More comedy!
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010	Apparently NOT!
7/13/2016 11:39:02 PM	More comedy!
sldcorp Salt Lake City, UT 53, joined Jun. 2013	The Pastor's Donkey The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race and it won again The local paper read PASTOR'S A OUT FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races The next day the local paper headline read BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S A This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent The local paper, hearing the news posted the following headline NUN HAS THE BEST A IN TOWN The Bishop fainted He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer fo $10 The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS A FOR $10 This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER A IS WILD AND FREE Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day. MORAL OF THE STORY? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery And even shorten your life So, be yourself and enjoy life Stop worrying about everyone else's a and you'll live longer
7/16/2016 11:36:32 PM	More comedy!
sldcorp Salt Lake City, UT 53, joined Jun. 2013	Another steal from the 50's group. One Smart Old Rooster A farmer owns 101 hens and one worn out old rooster. He goes to the market and buys a strapping young rooster to replace the old bird. he releases the younger bird into the farmyard and sits down on the farmhouse porch to see how well the new arrival settles in. The old rooster limps up to the new bird to greet him "Hi there sonny I guess you must be my replacement"The younger bird looks him up and down and sneers "I guess I must be, and not before time if you ask me!"The older bird chuckles and says "OK, point taken, come with me & I'll show you what the job entails, Here we have 101 lovely ladies and it's our job to keep them happy, I'm getting on a bit as you may have noticed and could use a little help these days so as it's your first day why don't we take 50 each? The new bird thinks for a moment and says "no problem but who gets to do chick number 101?"The older bird smiles and replies "we'll have a footrace and the winner gets the chick!"The young cck bursts out laughing "listen granpa you can hardly walk never mind run, you don't have a chance!" "That's OK you can give me 10 yards start, unless you're all talk!" said the old bird "We'll start from here, past the farmhouse to the barn and back again OK? The race begins with the old bird ten yards ahead of the young cckerell. "GO!" screams the old bird and takes off down the farmyard squawking loudly. the farmer is still sitting on the porch and has been joined by his wife where they observe the old rooster running like crazy & screaming it's lungs out as the young bird is about to catch up with it. The farmer picks up his shotgun and blasts the young rooster to pieces. he turns to his wife and says "I can't understand it, That's the third queer rooster I've bought this month!
7/22/2016 8:34:24 PM	More comedy!
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010

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