PTSD and Relationships

1/2/2016 6:04:24 AM	PTSD and Relationships
miss_ruacheater Superior, AZ 47, joined Aug. 2013	Hi mybname is Amy and I'm looking for advice on ex boyfriend and trying to understand the doubt I have in regards to his actions, any insight or advice would be gratefully appreciated! Always, Amy Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
1/2/2016 1:36:01 PM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	Hey there Amy. Tell us a little more. Some folks use PTSD as a crutch or an excuse for just being a sorry person. I know people who are receiving VA disability for PTSD and they never heard a shot fired in anger.
1/2/2016 1:47:37 PM	PTSD and Relationships
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010	mmmmm.... GDaddy... A person may be medically diagnosed with PTSD without having been in the military, let alone having heard a gun fired, can't they?
1/2/2016 9:21:29 PM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	Yes but that's not what she's talking about. I've seen ex soldiers trying to get over with the PTSD thing. It ain't right. My dear Dad was a combat medic attached to infantry in WWII in the European Theater. He saw horrible things but he was a man who never cursed or drank in front of his family and was always a respectable and honorable person. He had his nightmares and he shared some with me because I had been in combat in Nam. I was his brother in arms also. I've seen his tears when he was 75 years old. I respect soldiers etc... that serve our country but if you've never seen violence or even the consequences of violence in the military then don't pull the PTSD card.
1/3/2016 2:22:46 PM	PTSD and Relationships
richofpa Pittston, PA 61, joined Dec. 2011	What causes Stress? Our Surroundings Our Environment Our Intake Our Experiences What we Learn What we See, Hear, Feel, Ingest, Inject, Breath, and Smell Everything in life is tied in with everything in life. So many of our problems stem from and or tie in with other problems. What measures its severity is how you cope with it. What is Trauma? The way we handle bad things in our life! There are as many levels of trauma as there are traumas To each is how we handle them. The list is endless We all suffer Regardless of what one may think trivial Pain and Suffering Is still Pain and Suffering! Rape, abuse, burns, leading a convoy to see your lead man get his head blown off, the lose of a loved one, "The never ending nightmare" the confusion of what had happened. PTSD can lead to other disorders,-drug abuse, anger,... help them find the answers they are looking for, support them as best as you can - calming and reassuring them. There are good cognitive behavioral programs that can help. https://youtu.be/byQBP7fq5vQ
1/3/2016 2:54:40 PM	PTSD and Relationships
cupocheer Assumption, IL 68, joined May. 2010
1/4/2016 4:45:15 PM	PTSD and Relationships
longbobby Lufkin, TX 56, joined Aug. 2010	Quote from gdaddy47: Hey there Amy. Tell us a little more. Some folks use PTSD as a crutch or an excuse for just being a sorry person. I know people who are receiving VA disability for PTSD and they never heard a shot fired in anger. ----------------------------------------------- Agent Orange is just an "urban myth" too, isn't it? Nor did Saddam ever use chemical weapons in Kuwait either...isn't that right? And Israel is "America's Greatest Ally", correct?
1/6/2016 3:29:51 AM	PTSD and Relationships
miss_ruacheater Superior, AZ 47, joined Aug. 2013	Hi sorry Ive been very busy. Ok so to add a little more detail to my original post/question..... My ex did reveal in the beginning that he had PTSD and he's been home for four years but is now Active Duty in the AZ Air National Guard. He gave me the impression that he had everything under control but I was not educated on this until later...meaning it never goes away, you just learn coping skills. It was 4-5 mos ago that he was trigged with bad news from his grown daughter. That was when he started becoming angry, withdrawn from me for no reason. He called to tell me he was going to the VA to see a counselor and he'd call me later.....the next day after not hearing fom him, I called no answer, then I text him saying I was worried to please just let me know he was ok and uf I could help him with anything, his respinse was No he just needed sometime. Sporadic contact....text or very very seldom a 1-3 minute phone call...that was for a couple months. Then one day boom he calls and says "I'm back" but he never really was.....My cancer diagnosis was too much, it made hi angry that I dumped that shit on him, then he started wanting to see me but maybe once every week or two with no communication in between, he just wanted sex, smart girl that I am got that right away,lol, NOT! Then my son died recently and when I tried to reach out to him......nothing. In my opinion this is not PTSD. He actually told me that I was the cause of everything, his actions were my fault, its just hard because it hurts when You love someone so much, so completely andyou realize younever meant shit to them.....what do you guys think?
1/6/2016 10:44:08 AM	PTSD and Relationships
theindytechguy Indianapolis, IN 57, joined Dec. 2013	Wo. This is way too much for most of us to advise. The best I can do is be a friend, pray for you, listen to you, and try to help where I can.In the mean time a merry heart works like a medicine.
1/6/2016 11:10:59 AM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	RUACHEATER, sorry you got tangled up with this disturbed person. PTSD is used by a lot of people as an excuse for shortcomings. You may want to be his friend but why would you want him for a boyfriend or whatever it's called nowadays? Leave it alone as far as any romantic notions is my advice. This dude is very weak and not wrapped tight. Sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. Hang with close friends and family for your support. You need happy vibes and you don't need this loser bringing negativity into your life. You have a real life thing to handle. Best wishes to you.
1/6/2016 11:20:01 PM	PTSD and Relationships
miss_ruacheater Superior, AZ 47, joined Aug. 2013	Thank you, I guess I was just trying to ask if any of that sounds like PTSD? From the information I've heard, read this is not PTSD related.....My diagnosis turned out to be a dag-nab-it diagnosis, lab mix up, but the point was I have nothing to give even as a friend, still I almost feel like a failure. Thanks for listening to me
1/7/2016 11:53:34 AM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	Quote from miss_ruacheater: Thank you, I guess I was just trying to ask if any of that sounds like PTSD? From the information I've heard, read this is not PTSD related.....My diagnosis turned out to be a dag-nab-it diagnosis, lab mix up, but the point was I have nothing to give even as a friend, still I almost feel like a failure. Thanks for listening to me ! Why would you let someone who is acting badly make you feel like a failure? You have a big heart and was concerned for another human being. Sounds like a success to me dagnabit! Now hang in there and continue on with being a great caring person.
1/8/2016 2:18:06 PM	PTSD and Relationships
miss_ruacheater Superior, AZ 47, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from gdaddy47: ! Why would you let someone who is acting badly make you feel like a failure? You have a big heart and was concerned for another human being. Sounds like a success to me dagnabit! Now hang in there and continue on with being a great caring person. @Gdaddy47- I guess the "Failure" part is my feeling because I am hardest on myself and as naive as I am about human nature, my expectations are still "treat others as you want to be treated" , I could never turn away from anyone in pain....no matter what! So much loss and so much sacrifice from both of us. I really did try to just be there for him as a friend, we had a very good thing in the begining, he just kept coming back, giving me hope and choosing to take him back is my burden...hell yea I own my shit. It just hurts because I love him,and I don't know how to UNLOVE him! Thank you Gdaddy for just listenig, its been a long time since I was able to express any emotions!
1/20/2016 10:13:05 AM	PTSD and Relationships
chillindillan Entwistle, AB 46, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from miss_ruacheater: @Gdaddy47- I guess the "Failure" part is my feeling because I am hardest on myself and as naive as I am about human nature, my expectations are still "treat others as you want to be treated" , I could never turn away from anyone in pain....no matter what! So much loss and so much sacrifice from both of us. I really did try to just be there for him as a friend, we had a very good thing in the begining, he just kept coming back, giving me hope and choosing to take him back is my burden...hell yea I own my shit. It just hurts because I love him,and I don't know how to UNLOVE him! Thank you Gdaddy for just listenig, its been a long time since I was able to express any emotions! Life is to short move on & seek councelling yourself you don't want to be your own enemy.
1/22/2016 10:02:57 PM	PTSD and Relationships
carolinasoulja Salisbury, NC 34, joined Jan. 2012	Having ptsd and maintaing a relationship is extremely difficult can anyone give me some advice
1/28/2016 7:57:16 AM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	Quote from carolinasoulja: Having ptsd and maintaing a relationship is extremely difficult can anyone give me some advice The V.A. can help you. Find a VFW or some group of veterans that have been there and done that. Start up a group. Just don't hang on to the trauma of war so much that it rules you. You gotta rule it. It is what it is but don't let it rule you. Get down and be truthful with yourself about stuff. You need to talk to your peers. Hang in the sunshine. It'll be alright.
1/28/2016 8:08:23 AM	PTSD and Relationships
gdaddy47 Columbia, TN 69, joined Sep. 2009	Quote from cupocheer: mmmmm.... GDaddy... A person may be medically diagnosed with PTSD without having been in the military, let alone having heard a gun fired, can't they? Sure in the civilian world people have bad things happen all the time. I would say not on the scale that we saw in Nam. For example: A woman who was raped, etc... . Yeah right there is a case for PTSD.
1/30/2016 10:10:58 AM	PTSD and Relationships
txninnc Euless, TX 49, joined May. 2014	Quote from miss_ruacheater: Hi sorry Ive been very busy. Ok so to add a little more detail to my original post/question..... My ex did reveal in the beginning that he had PTSD and he's been home for four years but is now Active Duty in the AZ Air National Guard. He gave me the impression that he had everything under control but I was not educated on this until later...meaning it never goes away, you just learn coping skills. It was 4-5 mos ago that he was trigged with bad news from his grown daughter. That was when he started becoming angry, withdrawn from me for no reason. He called to tell me he was going to the VA to see a counselor and he'd call me later.....the next day after not hearing fom him, I called no answer, then I text him saying I was worried to please just let me know he was ok and uf I could help him with anything, his respinse was No he just needed sometime. Sporadic contact....text or very very seldom a 1-3 minute phone call...that was for a couple months. Then one day boom he calls and says "I'm back" but he never really was.....My cancer diagnosis was too much, it made hi angry that I dumped that shit on him, then he started wanting to see me but maybe once every week or two with no communication in between, he just wanted sex, smart girl that I am got that right away,lol, NOT! Then my son died recently and when I tried to reach out to him......nothing. In my opinion this is not PTSD. He actually told me that I was the cause of everything, his actions were my fault, its just hard because it hurts when You love someone so much, so completely andyou realize younever meant shit to them.....what do you guys think? One, if he's going around telling people he has PTSD then he probably doesn't, and if he's in the Air national Guard I assume he was in the AF on deployments, and in that case he most likely never even saw a dead body. Sounds like a weirdo with an inferiority complex towards guys who actually fight who's playing you.
3/2/2016 1:30:37 AM	PTSD and Relationships
miss_ruacheater Superior, AZ 47, joined Aug. 2013	Sorry for the typo not Air National Guard just AZ National Guard, he was Army. It helped me sooo much just get all that negativity off my chest. I took it personal and let it define me!! Always, Amy

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