6/26/2016 8:41:47 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Ok, so I'm making a dating thread, it may drop like a rock due to all the drama, but here I go:
You are dating someone that you know is a great person! Loving, kind, and always has your back
You chose to live with that person. Bam, the fighting begins. You still know this person loves you unconditionally. Do you stay, or throw in the towel?
It happened with me! My BF and I fought like crazy, I almost threw in the towel. Now that the first year is over, we have a better understanding of each other, and our love is flourishing again!
I feel like in this "me me" world, many would not stick it out. Can you do it?
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6/26/2016 8:45:51 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sddnly_snoozin
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
42, joined Mar. 2016
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Yep I can do it. I take in mind that both have to make adjustments from what we are both used to.
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6/26/2016 8:46:12 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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slutfoluv
Colorado Springs, CO
37, joined Jan. 2011
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It would depend...sometimes arguments can be a productive thing...other times they can be destructive...so if they were more destructive than productive...I'd walk away
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6/26/2016 8:49:05 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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miss_trsh1
Mount Pleasant, MI
47, joined Sep. 2014
online now!
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hell....no
spent last few years of my marriage arguing
don't have the tolerance to do it again
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6/26/2016 8:50:37 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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I can handle arguing as long as it doesn't involve personal insults. I hate arguing, I tend to walk away. But I'm so glad I stuck it out
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6/26/2016 8:52:14 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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easttowest72
Bremen, GA
44, joined Sep. 2014
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I guess it depends on what the argument is about. Most can be settled with no problem.
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6/26/2016 8:52:42 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
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I feel like when you decide to move in together, that "me me " attitude has to stop.
Not sure if I understand that fighting like crazy part..About what?
And for a year???
If we can adjust to each other in a month or maybe two, it might not be a good idea to continue live together.
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6/26/2016 8:52:58 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Yep I can do it. I take in mind that both have to make adjustments from what we are both used to.
Rife,
I talked to a lot of people that said their first year was rough as well; that's what made me stay! Glad I did!
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6/26/2016 8:53:01 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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creepinggeisha
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015
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Dating topic? In a dating forum?
Dah hell?
You crazy.
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6/26/2016 8:54:46 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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condor_0000
Tampa, FL
58, joined Feb. 2013
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I love nothing better than an argument. Well, maybe tennis. Perfect day would be to play a little tennis then go home and have a big argument.
But here's the thing. You get tired of anyone after awhile. Humans do not mate for life regardless of what romantic comedies would have us believe.
[Edited 6/26/2016 8:55:12 AM ]
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6/26/2016 8:55:31 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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ohdannyboy59
Arlington, TX
57, joined Sep. 2012
online now!
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There are differences in every relationship, and blending households only compounds that. It sounds like two mature adults waded through those differences and didn't let any one or all of them define your relationship. Congrats. There aren't many pairs of people in the world today who have the maturity, patience, etc., to pull that off.
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6/26/2016 8:55:32 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sddnly_snoozin
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
42, joined Mar. 2016
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Tech I get it. I'm not long off of my fella moving in. I imagine there will be a few disagreements but I am ready for that.
I guess we all have our limits.
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6/26/2016 8:55:49 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
41, joined Jan. 2013
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As long as two people can work through the argument then its no problem... Takes both people having the same mindset, and not be pussies just to quit... Hope that makes sense, because it did in my head while I was typing it...
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6/26/2016 8:56:00 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Hippo,
He was very defensive, at first, due to his last relationship! Then he realized I was nothing like her! I was used to being on my own for many years, so I had to make adjustments as well! I believe that's what caused our fighting. The adjustments have been made, and all is great
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6/26/2016 8:57:05 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Dating topic? In a dating forum?
Dah hell?
You crazy.
I know Geisha right
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6/26/2016 8:57:41 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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creepinggeisha
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015
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Ok, so I'm making a dating thread, it may drop like a rock due to all the drama, but here I go:
You are dating someone that you know is a great person! Loving, kind, and always has your back
You chose to live with that person. Bam, the fighting begins. You still know this person loves you unconditionally. Do you stay, or throw in the towel?
It happened with me! My BF and I fought like crazy, I almost threw in the towel. Now that the first year is over, we have a better understanding of each other, and our love is flourishing again!
I feel like in this "me me" world, many would not stick it out. Can you do it?
I've been through it. One relationship the fighting had never stopped. It was a roller coaster ride. The highs to the walking on egg shells. Things were not going to change so I left.
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6/26/2016 8:57:49 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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countryladypoet
Clarion, PA
49, joined Dec. 2012
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you really dont know someone until you live with them.. then you see everything. It takes time to adjust to all those little things..communication needs to be honest and open.. to be able to work those feelings and misunderstandings out.. I am glad you worked them out OP and may love continue to flourish
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6/26/2016 8:57:56 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sparknspirit
Ocala, FL
95, joined Jan. 2016
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Hang In There..
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6/26/2016 9:00:20 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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flatheadone
Greenwood, FL
52, joined Jul. 2012
online now!
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Op take a long weekend or week and go on a trip.find some random dude and like it was your last week to live and once you realize that the new guy is a bigger a** hole the the one you have been living with you will realize its not so bad at home . Life is a give and take. Give what you can and take what you can get
I have been married for 33+ yeas to a really great woman. we have always gotten along great
Good luck
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6/26/2016 9:02:16 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
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Hippo,
He was very defensive, at first, due to his last relationship! Then he realized I was nothing like her! I was used to being on my own for many years, so I had to make adjustments as well! I believe that's what caused our fighting. The adjustments have been made, and all is great
Glad it worked out for you!
Not sure if I would have stick it out for a year tho..
Isn't that just a little too long for said adjustments to take place?
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6/26/2016 9:06:19 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Yeah, it was a long haul Hippo, but I knew he loved me no matter what, and I as well. I've known this man for 18 years and we dated on and off through that time. He was in my son's life more than his father was. I knew I had a good catch, we just had to get through the rough spots
As wel, like is said, I talked to many who went through the same thing, so I stuck it out, thank God
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6/26/2016 9:14:55 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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What kind of arguments would end it for you?
This is a general question, not pointed at anyone!
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6/26/2016 9:20:45 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sperinkles
Three Sisters
South Africa
26, joined Jun. 2014
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Maybe it depends on the place, lol. When my ex husband and I were married, we got along very nicely when we lived at this one place, but when we lived somewhere else there was a bit more arguing between us about personal issues, and one of us liked where we were living at but the other didn't like it there and wanted to move...caused some tension. Plus, the times had changed and the kids were bigger and there were issues about who could take off work earlier to pick up the kids and who would take them to school. This was the biggest problem because my job wouldn't let me take off early enough to pick the kids up from school and therefore I had to take off more days until I eventually took a different position.
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6/26/2016 9:24:00 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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countryladypoet
Clarion, PA
49, joined Dec. 2012
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when I tried this.. I went to work and straight home with him.. every time my phone went off he was who is that?? I didnt have it locked he could check at any time.. he just didnt trust me.. even though he had no reason to do so.. He started to get controlling.. when I couldnt take it anymore I moved back home.
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6/26/2016 9:27:00 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sperinkles
Three Sisters
South Africa
26, joined Jun. 2014
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Quote from technologist_1: What kind of arguments would end it for you?
I won't tolerate him going out to strip clubs (and when he returns has no money left) when I stay home and keep house/take care of the children.
Or, if he wants me to do things that I don't want to do.
Or, If he continues to make messes left for me clean up. He's a big boy and if he makes a mess, HE cleans it up. Regardless. I don't leave messes for anyone to clean up and I expect the same from him.
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6/26/2016 9:30:27 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
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What kind of arguments would end it for you?
This is a general question, not pointed at anyone!
The toilet paper placement.
OK seriously I don't know...Any argument that last more than an hour..
I am willing to change, of course..I would have to..But so does she.
No more mine, me..Ours, and we..
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6/26/2016 9:30:41 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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That man you described Poet, was like the woman my BF was married to for 8 years! He had to look down everywhere they went so as not to seem like he was checking out other woman!
If I see I pretty woman with big hooters and what not, I tell my BF, hey check that out! He told me he thought I was testing him at first, then he realized I had no jealousy in me.
If I know my man loves me, I don't care who he looks at, or talks to; he comes home to me
I agree Hippo!
[Edited 6/26/2016 9:31:21 AM ]
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6/26/2016 9:32:46 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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didntreadyrnove
New York, NY
40, joined Oct. 2015
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Depends on the fighting....are we fighting over 2% or whole milk or are we name calling and disrespecting because they bought skim or visa versa
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6/26/2016 9:34:43 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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No, Heather,
I think our fighting was due to our past, his old relationships, and me living on my own for so long!
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6/26/2016 9:40:58 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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didntreadyrnove
New York, NY
40, joined Oct. 2015
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Are you in love? Is your life more fullfilled? You lived on your own but you wanted this...
Fix it dumb dumb....if you know the reason you can fix it
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6/26/2016 9:44:14 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Are you in love? Is your life more fullfilled? You lived on your own but you wanted this...
Fix it dumb dumb....if you know the reason you can fix it
You know I'm in love Heather. My OP said it had been fixed. We are flourishing more than ever now! It was just rough the first year
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6/26/2016 9:47:52 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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didntreadyrnove
New York, NY
40, joined Oct. 2015
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You know i dont read love...lol
I fight with troy over things that i dont even give a f**k about. Then i get all butt hurt and im all mopey cus he hurt my feelings over something i dont care about...thats f**king stupid right there
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6/26/2016 9:59:35 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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ctr916v2
Roseville, CA
53, joined Nov. 2014
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Ok, so I'm making a dating thread, it may drop like a rock due to all the drama, but here I go:
You are dating someone that you know is a great person! Loving, kind, and always has your back
You chose to live with that person. Bam, the fighting begins. You still know this person loves you unconditionally. Do you stay, or throw in the towel?
It happened with me! My BF and I fought like crazy, I almost threw in the towel. Now that the first year is over, we have a better understanding of each other, and our love is flourishing again!
I feel like in this "me me" world, many would not stick it out. Can you do it?
my next girlfriend is welcome to help me get over any inhibitions i may have with modern women being their modern selves in modern times.
Can women do it?
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6/26/2016 10:35:31 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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hikinghills
Redding, CA
52, joined Mar. 2016
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Ok, so I'm making a dating thread, it may drop like a rock due to all the drama, but here I go:
You are dating someone that you know is a great person! Loving, kind, and always has your back
You chose to live with that person. Bam, the fighting begins. You still know this person loves you unconditionally. Do you stay, or throw in the towel?
It happened with me! My BF and I fought like crazy, I almost threw in the towel. Now that the first year is over, we have a better understanding of each other, and our love is flourishing again!
I feel like in this "me me" world, many would not stick it out. Can you do it?
went through this 1 1/2 years ago....And I did try to work things out,sat down with her and tried talking.........after 7 years of this I gave up,It started pulling me down and I started getting really depressed.....when one person is putting in the majority of things in a relationship and the other is not.....well to answer your question tech,,,NO I would not go through that again.... don't get me wrong ,I still care for her but in my heart I know it would never work....
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6/26/2016 10:44:23 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
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It would depend...sometimes arguments can be a productive thing...other times they can be destructive...so if they were more destructive than productive...I'd walk away
I agree. You can disagree without it becoming an arguments. Once it's an archenemy without any negotiating or resolution,I'm done !
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6/26/2016 10:52:33 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014
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no way never again,i had a good marriage etc,mostly,but she was bipolar with fits of rage..sometimes,i mean she would hit you,an get outta the car an start walkin etc,...id have to baby her etc..most was good,an she would take no meds an was 20 years older than me..i,ll never ever deal with a temper,or a drinkin woman either ..that also brings on a loud cussin temper..id rather be alone than this..
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6/26/2016 10:55:37 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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playingindirt
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014
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you can't get along all of the time. it's just the way it is. but I won't fight with my man. that would not be my purpose for having a man.
so if I had a guy in my life and all we ever did was fight I can't do it.
you're going to have times when you just can't see eye to eye. that's not a license to do things that would hurt your mate.
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6/26/2016 11:25:16 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Jan. 2016
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Nope I don't handle fights well
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6/26/2016 11:28:59 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014
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fightin defeats the whole purpuss of fun,an love.....never again for me..
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6/26/2016 11:37:41 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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fishnthec
Mesquite, TX
64, joined Oct. 2010
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Some people are just lousy at living under the same roof with anyone else.
Living together requires a partnership that some people are incapable of having no matter what.
The problem is most people who are lousy with others can hide this very well for a good while.
So slow down. What is the hurry? Get to know people first before you start making plans to change out his/hers shower curtain!
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6/26/2016 11:40:59 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
53, joined Dec. 2007
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Hang in there. The period right after the "honeymoon phase" is always challenging. Then maybe take on a stressful and difficult project together. Working through those things will tell you what you got.
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6/26/2016 11:44:40 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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latinasm
Amarillo, TX
47, joined May. 2014
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I can do it and have done it......It was the best!!
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6/26/2016 11:56:39 AM |
Can You Do It? |
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alls_fair
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
96, joined May. 2011
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All relationships have/need friction...
But when that friction becomes toxic, it is time to throw in the towel...
It is a good question. And one I couldn't honestly answer in a vacuum...
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6/26/2016 12:03:35 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Thanks all for the replies
I had to run some errands, clean up the house, and take out the trash, bla bla bla! I felt guilty my BF is out there mowing the lawn, spreading the fertilizer, and spraying for insects; in this disgusting heat!
I see some of you saying you couldn't live in an argumentative relationship, on that one I agree
But, what I am saying is: I've known this man for 18 years, I knew he was a good catch, one I could not let go of. But, as I said, our first year was awful with the fighting. I hate fighting I tend to walk away and that seems to make matters worse! Sometimes arguing actually scares me! Nothing ever physical But, when voices are raised, I tend to get scared!
We both stuck it out, and I was ready to throw in the towel, glad I didn't! He is the best man I've ever had in my life, we just had to get through that phase, and I'm glad we did
I know, wal-O-text
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6/26/2016 12:42:31 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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playingindirt
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014
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I wish you much happiness ms tech.
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6/26/2016 1:14:34 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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lightbrownie1
Johnston, IA
47, joined Feb. 2016
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Tech...of course it can be done.
If there is true love for one another..then yes.
If the arguing continues even after the first two years. I say...love was never there from the start.
Love conqures all, is patient, kind, suffering.
If the two don't have love for one another. Then what i just said...will never come later.
Obviously you two need a little time. However u might have moved in too soon before reaaly knowing one another.
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6/26/2016 1:28:41 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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I wish you much happiness ms tech.
Thanks Annie
Lightbrown,
Not giving you crap, but I have known him 18 years! We started dating again 2 years ago, then moved in a year later!
You are correct though, love did conquer all, the first year was rocky, but we made it through, and came out on the other side happier than ever
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6/26/2016 2:53:53 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
53, joined Dec. 2007
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Congrats OP, good luck and d o well. be patient, assume noble intent.
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6/26/2016 2:58:21 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
51, joined Jun. 2012
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There wld be no towel throwing..he wld never be in my space like that...
I cldnt live with another again...I know this.
God Bless all of you who can
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6/26/2016 3:03:36 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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There wld be no towel throwing..he wld never be in my space like that...
I cldnt live with another again...I know this.
God Bless all of you who can
Medusa, I thought of you a couple of times when things were rough! How you and I both said we'd never settle! I began to feel like I was! But time passed and our understanding of each other became greater. Now we are in a good place. For me, it was worth it! Having said that, I understand why you could not do it!
Thanks Barry
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6/26/2016 3:07:31 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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windy_rider
Aspen, CO
39, joined Nov. 2014
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The first year or ten is always the worst.
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6/26/2016 3:23:23 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
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There wld be no towel throwing..he wld never be in my space like that...
I cldnt live with another again...I know this.
God Bless all of you who can
Feel like that too.
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6/26/2016 3:50:37 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
51, joined Jun. 2012
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Medusa, I thought of you a couple of times when things were rough! How you and I both said we'd never settle! I began to feel like I was! But time passed and our understanding of each other became greater. Now we are in a good place. For me, it was worth it! Having said that, I understand why you could not do it!
Thanks Barry
Luv..there is a huge diff between..settling...and realizing all growth usually involves some pain.
Yours was the latter
The biggest issue I see...is ppl thinking there will be growth when quite clearly..there won't be...yet cling to that hope and use it to justify staying in really messed up situations...
I did it....
I took my word..my promise tooo damn far. When I shld hv seen it as an equal thing. He didn't see his word or promise as something of honor...and I really shld hv understood that was not going to change.
Instead..my dumb a** kept tourquing...twisting..conforming..giving in..over and over to maintain some peace.
I repeated a long pattern of behaviour learned in childhood..over and over and fkn over..again.
Yours was one of mutual growth...
Huge difference....
I know me better now...and I know...just thinking of coming home to another human in my space...after work..wld not place a smile on my face...
It wld conger up some cuss worss..a scowl...and a bad attitude...
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6/26/2016 4:10:08 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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Gosh I love you Eyes
You always know how to articulate things much better than I, and for that, I have a lot of respect for you
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6/26/2016 4:11:54 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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the_israelite
Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro
Brazil
34, joined Apr. 2016
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It depends. I don't want to deal with a woman yelling at me, nagging me, spitting on me, etc. too much before throwing my hands up.
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6/26/2016 4:18:49 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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technologist_1
Powell, OH
50, joined Dec. 2014
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It depends. I don't want to deal with a woman yelling at me, nagging me, spitting on me, etc. too much before throwing my hands up.
It was never like that Icey.
No nagging, no spitting, just some yelling, which scares me. He knows that now, and hasn't yelled at me since. We both had to figure out our likes and dislikes, and we did. It's been great for over 2 months now. We had a long talk and came to some understandings. Do we still disagree? Yup, but it is in a calm manner, and we either agree, agree to disagree, or make a compromise. I'm very happy with that
Will things flare up again? Don't know, but we are are on a forward path right now!
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6/26/2016 4:20:11 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
49, joined Jan. 2016
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It would depend on the type of fighting. As someone else put it, whether or not it's destructive. Some things ARE destructive to a relationship. I was in a marriage far too long thinking for many years that it would get better. It didn't. I couldn't go through that again.
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6/26/2016 4:22:41 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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ctr916v2
Roseville, CA
53, joined Nov. 2014
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yes; i can practice full body massage nude with DH chics, merely to get over my inhibitions.
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6/26/2016 4:23:32 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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sillylaugher61
Murrysville, PA
54, joined Aug. 2011
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how would I know?
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6/26/2016 4:30:15 PM |
Can You Do It? |
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ctr916v2
Roseville, CA
53, joined Nov. 2014
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the proof is always in the pudding.
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