mustang_boy
Saginaw, MI
33, joined Jul. 2008
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I got issues like everyone else, I'm NOT perfect and I'll be the first to step to the front of the line to admit it. But ones got to wonder after a while...
I've dated nine girls in ten years and I've always got the shaft in the relationship no matter what and its pissing me off because the old saying is right nice guys do get screwed over. Explain to me this...
Your at a party hanging out doing your thing. After drinking and playing video games you climb out of the second story window of your friends apartment onto the roof top of the front proch for fresh air as you are not a smoker. A girl you had your eye on comes out and joins you, you end up conversating for a while, she plays the I'm a little cold technique so you'll hold her in your arms to keep her warm in the middle of March and it was warm actually that night. After a plesent conversation she moves in for the kiss on you and all night long giving you signals you can pick up from outer f**king space. At the end of the night you exchange phone number hopeing she'll remember you and it wasn't that she only talked to you because she was drunk.
The day after the party she calls you wanting you to hangout and you say sure, but inwardly your jumping with joy and never felt so alive before. You two end up hanging out EVERY DAY for two weeks straight. Then you grow the balls to ask this woman you would gladly get shot repeatitively for out and she says "Let me think about it I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship just yet." and all you say is "Oh just think about it then" and five long painful weeks later she says to you on the phone "Hey remember when you asked me out ?" and you say "Um yeah" and she says "Well I have thought about it my answer is yes" and all you say is "Alright very cool" but inside your like a kid in a candy store.
We dated for three months and didn't once argure, any form of physical violence or verbal put downs never came out of me toward her EVER. But at the end of the third month she stopped talking to me she wouldn't return my phone calls, reply to my e-mails or have any communication with me at all. At the end of month four she says "We need to talk" I know its over I'm not an idiot.
Against my better judgement I talked with her out of hope we'd stay together, nope she was hell bent on dumping me, but she wanted to be friends. I didn't but I said ok hopeing still we MIGHT get back together.
She goes off to college and the only time I hear from her is when her truck breaks down on her then near Christmas I ended up hearing about a job near her school and I even got her a job. Recentcly I went with her to look at cars that would be dependable for her hopeing for a chance to talk and possibly restart a relationship nope I got used yet again.
Friends are friends and hangout not call you only when they need free help right ?
Well she says were friends but she only calls me when she wants a free mechanic and it pisses me off but its hard to say no to someone you love more than life itself and I have no f**king clue what to do anymore except pay my Mustang off as soon as possible and leaving Michigan forever.
That semms likemy only option unless for some unparaller reason she decides to take my worthless a** back... I got $1,000 cash says she won't though.
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sanmi
Big Rapids, MI
46, joined Sep. 2008
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I am very sorry that you are hurting right now. But just to let you know EVERYONE in their life has gone through this probably more than once in their life. It is a part of 1. growing up and 2. learning from your relationships. I know it's painful and you may feel like you will never love another person the way you have loved her. And you probably wont. Because each relationship and every person is different. But don't assume that every woman is like her. Learn from what you are going through and don't try to avoid the pain that you are feeling. Deal with it as each day goes on and heal. It's going to take time but I assure you , you will survive. As far as allowing her to use you, you need to make a choice. If you continue to be her "friend" how is that going to effect your healing process? this is something you need to ask yourself. Another thing you need to ask yourself is , Is she really being a true friend to you or just using you because she knows you will be there for her?
Although it's hard to let go of someone that you love. It's even harder to hold onto someone that doesn't give you that love and respect back. You are only going to continue hurting yourself if you keep her in your life. You will meet other women and don't assume that they will be like her. Good luck to you and keep a smile on your face. 
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kate02
Hope, MI
33, joined Oct. 2008
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Join the club dude. But my story is I was in a relationship with this guy for almost 6 years and we had our ups and downs. He decides about 2 years ago or so to go to Chicago to go to school and I supported him and encouraged him to go. Well about a year and half ago he decides he dosen't want to be with me any more. The reason I got for the ending of the relationship was people change. So I know how you feel. We tried being friends and just was to much for me emotionaly. I found out shortly there after that there was no chance of us getting back together dashing my hopes of that. So I know how you feel. I talk to him maybe once a month if that just to see if he is still alive. The going through the ups and downs of of being totaly sad to angry to who the heck cares is not the most fun thing. But like the person above me said you just have to learn from your time with her. Try to move on as much as it is hard to do at times (I know). So I know how ya feel and all we can do is try our best to move on from some one we cared a lot for.
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jason_dh
Dearborn Heights, MI
32, joined Oct. 2008
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It sucks, but this kind of thing happens all the time. Being used really hurts, but you are probably much better off without this girl. I've gotten the whole "friends" speech a few times myself lol, but there really isn't much you can do once you hear those words. If you continue as just being friends, and witness her dating other guys, etc and coming to you for a shoulder to cry on, it really becomes trying on your emotions. Plain and simple dude, it's not worth it!!! Friendship is a two-sided coin, and if she is not doing anything at all that would make her really be a friend then what is the point? Just let her go and move on, there are other fish in the sea.
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