Well, I'm not implying that my experience is what will happen with you, but it does give some points to ponder.

First off though two things strike me. The first is that she had better have a more compelling reason to have a child than her own health issues. Second is do YOU want a child at this time, and for more compelling reasons than her health issues?

Ok that said.............


I too was dirt poor as a child, my ex, while not wealthy, was solidly middle classed. When we met and eventually started discussing marriage and children, we discussed me being the sahm etc etc. The reality was that I worked for the bulk of our marriage. Our oldest child was ten when I got pregnant with the youngest (I have three children). It wasn't until then that I became a sahm. At first I had no choice, high risk pregnancy kept me on bed rest. After he was born, I had been replaced at my former job etc........

Eventually I started being questioned as to what I was spending and why I was spending it. Later he began getting more and more 'tight' with funds. Eventually he announced seeking a divorce and to me at least stated that being the sole financial provider was too hard for him. Of course there was much much more than that involved. You mention that she routinely works long hours now. Does she claim that that will change once a child is on the scene? My ex has a problem, a real problem, he is a workaholic. He never participated in any portion of the routine care and well being of any of our children on a daily basis. Part of our many issues was my constant dissatisfaction with that arrangement, remember, until I was pregnant with our third child I worked full-time as well as he. He said he would before we married and he gave me tons of lip service when I complained, but nothing ever changed.

As to the material things. You say she can afford them. Do you mean she can afford to buy them outright? Or that she can afford to make payments on them? If she isn't buying these things outright then no she can't afford them. JMO. Cash is king. I personally would be worried if I thought I detected a 'keep up with the Jones'" attitude.

When we did our nursery for the first time we did purchase a brand new crib. The dressers however were those used by my ex as a child. Big, heavy, solid pieces of furniture. Both were refinished. The shorter, longer piece was also converted into a changing table by attaching chair railing around the edges to the top. Those two pieces are all that survived three children. Children can and do destroy furniture, whether they are well behaved or not lol.

If you both decide to pursue this, sit down and write out just what your expenses will be - mortgage, insurances, utilities etc. etc. etc. and make sure, especially if she will be the only income, that you have a minimum of six months of expense money saved up BEFORE you have the child.

JMO

You haven't mentioned her parents. What do they think of you? Do they want you for a son-in-law? Being accepted into the entire family is a big deal.It does matter to most people. Having a baby for medical reasons sounds a little on the mental side to me!

Smitty

I was raised that same way. Newest, brightest etc doesn't always equate to best. For instance I love shopping thrift stores. Shopping at them afforded me the opportunity to pick up a really old ironing board - way way way better quality than any of the junk they have out today. I also picked up a dirt cheap cedar chest. This brand runs anywhere from $700 to $1000 new. I got it for $10. I need to refinish the outside - but I enjoy that sort of work.

I'm wondering how old she is......35hr. is good but when you combine a 2 income household it usually is more then this and to really live good you need 2 incomes just my opinion....if you have this much extra money saving would be better then spending especially since you plan on staying home you never know what life will throw you as you know being raised poor. maybe sit down with her and let HER know how you feel. my own personal thoughts on this is get a job so you don't feel like she's the one with all the money and start contributing I think once that happens the focus won't be so much on how much she makes but her as a person this is the second time you have posted about how much she makes I wonder if it is an issue

We wanted to have a baby anyway...This just adds another dimension onto it. As far as her parents are concerned I don't exist. Whenever she brings me up they tell her that they won't discuss the matter. It was the typical reaction I was expecting from rich people.

Second time you posted this--right?? Why are you asking anyone on here--you can't seriously base a decision on what anyone thinks--especially out here in cyber land. The facts that you give--and the details about her wants and desires---if this really is a true story at all--I would think she wants to DESPERATELY get out of the house--with anyone--under any circumstances. It sounds like she found some guy that is easy to manipulate---probably will emasculate you and ruin your life at some point down the road. leaving you without a job--without the means to support you and the nephew. And totally inexperienced in running your own life. You can go for the money that is dangled in front of your nose--or you can opt for a more normal set of circumstances that will help you survive in life. I will bet a paycheck that you are thrown out when you no longer fit her idea of a partner---its just a feeling I get about this tale. Are you going to post this a third time??

Wow, I have seen some b.s in my time but this guy is whoa going overboard. The gal has parents who are millionaires yet she is working for $35.00 an hour. Get real! $35.00 an hour is nothing. I thing he wants to make himself look good for whatever reason. But your story is lame bud. I know rich people and unless they dislike their daughter they wouldnt allow her to work for pauper wages. Good one

Your story makes no sense, it all sounds ass-backwards.