slowdancen
Azle, TX
63, joined Oct. 2008
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Females and males have Egos, we are human and some egos get hurt easily and some not so easily. Most of the time when it comes to the opposite sex we do not know we have done or said something that has hurt someone’s ego. My Question is: If I hurt your ego or pride by something I said or did, (This something innocent not on purpose because someone was angry) What finely lets you know I did not do it on purpose and I am sorry. This happened to me many, many years ago and we never went any further in our relationship because he never heard me say I am sorry.... What a waste so my question is because we all do and say things that hurt someone with out meaning to. Especially in new relationships when we are trying to learn about each other.
For instance......You are a guy...we are just getting to know each other and you ask me to meet you at the local bar.....and to make this interesting lets say you had a dozen red roses waiting there and a bottle of champane because you want to surprise me. Now lets say when you call me I say, I would really rather not go there, because I am not comfortable in that bar. Lets say....That this first and only statement made you angry....because...you went to a lot of work to set this up...and now you are thinking.........What ever it is a guy would think. Now Woman I want you to reverse this question to fit you and you are the one who got hurt.
Where does a new relationship go from here and how do you hear i am sorry once this has happened.
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boopdelou
Myrtle Creek, OR
59, joined Oct. 2008
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I feel if a person is serious about a new relationship, then they should also be aware that the new person might have a different perspective on touchy subjects..... the bars, churches, vege vs meat eating, and the list goes on. One of the responsibilities of any new relationship, male and female, is to talk and perhaps find some of these differences first before there are any hurt feelings. Isn't that what dating is about.. learning about the other person before you invest your heart too deeply? If feelings does happen, an appology is made then I feel it is the other person's choice to either, accept it or not. if not then likely hood your relationship with this person will quickly become all one sided... the other person's favor and your personality will die a slow death. For me a working relationship will have give times on both sides, and stand firm only when it truely matters. A couple of times I have met people who have used the bruised ego to get out of a relationship so you will look like the "bad"person and they are self rightous in leaving... reguardless how much you appologize and kiss ass. If they don't "hear" you they don't have to work things out. at least that is my opinon.
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