| 3/24/2008 4:45:14 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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hugsnlaughter
McKeesport, PA
age: 48
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I have my profile on many date sites, some I have a pic on and some I don't. I have a back and neck problem which causes me a few limitations but all in all I work full time and lead a somewhat normal life. I live alone and am very independent. I have always felt that if a guy didn't notice my problem on my pic or I had not posted my pic that I should tell him I have this problem before we meet giving him the out rather then have to meet them without them knowing and maybe set myself up for a cruel rejection. (which has happened. What do you thinik? Would a guy rather know up front? In my life with my friends, etc, I actually did not get into any detail over my physical difference until I had known them for quit a while.
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| 3/25/2008 12:38:57 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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sweetbabeblues
Hannibal, MO
age: 52
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I allways tell them up front. If they have a problem with it, then I have a problem with them. I sure don't want to be envloved with someone to find out later they don't want to be envloved with someone who they think less of. I've had it happen, and was called scarred up b*tch, and welfare mom... Omg...I was devastated, and couldn't even say a word at first... Welfare and disability is definalty two seperate things, and I don't even have any kids at home... Some people are just ignorant...
If that other person realy cares...then they should be able to handle what ever it is that comes along in your life, just as you would in thieres.....Go figure....
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| 3/25/2008 8:23:00 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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hugsnlaughter
McKeesport, PA
age: 48
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That's horrible; I had a similar situation happen, the guy didn't look at me all through dinneer, he kind of turned sideways and when the waitress came over to ask if we wanted desert, he got up and put his coat on and walked away leaving me at the table, he paid and was waiting outside (I don't know why) as he just walked on ahead and didn't even walk me to my car. I guess I should be glad he paid, some don't even do that. It's rough out there and for those of us with some problems even more difficult in todays cruel world.
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| 3/25/2008 11:05:06 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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Thats awful hugs..sorry
as far as telling up front yes..cause I want someone with compassion and understanding (heart)as well as for me and for others.
If a man cant be that..forget it
[Edited 3/25/2008 11:08:43 PM]
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| 3/27/2008 1:32:59 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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naughtylady
Newark, OH
age: 57
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Thats sad the way people treat other people with disabilities.I have a back back,had 2 back surgeries and it slows me down somewhat I have good days and bad.Plus Im a bbw so thats a double whammy on me,No one wants an over weight cripple as I have heard myself called. God, you just wonder where some of these peoples hearts are. And what happens if they get in our shape,would they want to be treated like we are. I wish people would think of the cruel ways they treat us. We are no different from anyone else,we just have to change our ways of doing things to fit our needs. Both you ladies need be thankful both those guys went the other way,cause you needed to be treated with respect just like anyone else.Those guys need to do a reality check with themselves and life. I agree to tell them up front and if they cant deal with it,then get lost,there are alot of other fish in the same stream those came from,just dive right back in the water and wiggle,more fish will bite.
Char
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| 3/27/2008 2:42:01 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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flaws_n_all28
Fulton, NY
age: 28
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with me i just tell them i get SSI, i'm not on welfare and i can't get it.
i barely receive Child Support and trying to get that is like seeing Jesus. but i guess with my disabilities, they really don't care. they see me for me and nothing else. i've been asked what is wrong and why i can't work and i tell them why. i have never had someone tell me that i'm just lazy or don't want to get up and get a job. the people i know have always been on my side and were understanding. i'm not saying they were perfect people and i sure as hell wouldn't allow anyone to treat me the way some of you have been treated,that's crazy and very ignorant,but after getting to know me a little better a lot of people i know understood why i am the way i am.
don't know if that made much sense my typing isn't keeping up with my thoughts, sorry if this was confusing. but ladies i feel for you on the ridicule and there should be no reason why you get treated like that.
i wouldn't give anyone the time of day if i had to go through that. i would feel the vibe as soon as i seen him.
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| 3/27/2008 7:14:02 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
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I have never told dates of my health issues, not unless it came up in conversation. Then I might mention one thing. Unless it is heading toward being a very serious committment, he doesn't need to know. Yeah I might get rejected later, but I figure if they can get past my weight...then they are pretty compasionate already. lol As for finances, I work so that isn't a problem...yet. I know I could get disability but will fight against it for as long as I can. Not that I have a problem with folks who get it that need it...it is just a personal choice.
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| 3/27/2008 7:45:28 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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hugsnlaughter
McKeesport, PA
age: 48
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I had hoped that some of the guys would reply here as to if they feel misleaded if I have no pic and they discover that I have this back/neck thing after we meet. Most I have told in advance as it eases my comfort level a bit that they know but then sometimes I feel it is like giving me a bit of a strike before I even meet them so who knows. Just getting tired of looking for someone nice.
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| 3/27/2008 9:52:01 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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funinfrcr
French Creek, WV
age: 43
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Hello Ladies, That is my problem. I am interested in this man I just met here on datehookup, but I'm afraid to tell him about my having copd. I know if we were to meet he would figure it out right straight cause I am on oxygen and can not walk very far without stopping and standing still for a couple of minutes to catch my breath. But I keep going. I know this would probably be a turn off to some one that is very insensative, but I have a lot to offer and I am a good person. If you have a comment let me know. I'm open to suggestions. Kris
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| 3/27/2008 10:04:48 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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You said it all right here..your answer 
but I have a lot to offer and I am a good person. If you have a comment let me know. I'm open to suggestions. Kris
Kris dont be afraid to tell him..He'll find out anyways. Be open and honest. If he cant handle this then he isn't the one for you...BUT..Maybe he can handle it Give him that choice to make...know what I mean?
Hang in there and hope it works out for you
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| 3/29/2008 8:46:07 AM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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mag28
Burlington, ON
age: 41
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I have been on all of these chat sights to meet a new man only to be continuously rejected.
I live with Young Onset Parkinson's disease and a severe case of Dystonia (cramping) in my feet and have not been able to work since my diagnosis nine years ago at the age of 31.
My husband of 10 years divorced me because he "couldn't take care of me any longer?"
I completely understand the frustrations about meeting someone and telling them about your disability. Although I believe there is some one out there for us all, in time we will all find our special someone.
Until then, for their sake and your sanity, I believe in telling the truth about your disorder.
It also hurts a lot less if they are "not into you" from the start.
I know it Sucks! to say the least, Being alone, although we are all strong people who have been dealt a crappy hand in life and we deserve only the best.
Friends are just as good if not better.
Cheers to you all
Sandy.
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| 3/29/2008 9:42:45 AM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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Cheers Sandy--Welcome to the group
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| 3/29/2008 9:39:28 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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kaitlynsnana
Michigan City, IN
age: 43
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Well ladies,,yes there are some decent men still left out there that aren't afraidto take a chance. I have met 1 and actually were going out tomorrow night to dinner. He knows about all my ailments and it didn't scare him off. If they like you enough they can handle it. He is a sweet heart and we get along great.
Keep your chin up it can happen for you also.....
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| 3/29/2008 9:44:41 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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Thats great kait..a date ..oh la la! 
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| 3/29/2008 9:46:53 PM |
Do you want to know upfront if someone has a disability? |
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kaitlynsnana
Michigan City, IN
age: 43
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lol yes, not sure what to do,,,haven't been on a date in years. Spent the past 2 days figuring out what I should wear, how to wear my hair lol all kinds of stuff.
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