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| Location: |
San Diego California |
| Zip Code: |
92101 |
| Age: |
24, Virgo |
| Height: |
4 ft. 11 in. |
| Hair, Eyes: |
Blonde, Blue |
| Body: |
Slender |
| Ethnicity: |
White |
| Religion: |
Atheist |
| Politics: |
Not quite sure |
| Education: |
Some College |
| Income: |
$75,000 - $125,000 |
| Job: |
Other |
| Smoke: |
Don't Smoke |
| Has Kids: |
No |
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| Meet Me Free Wink Free Add Friend Add Favorite |
| About Me |
Before you walk into my life, You need to know something about me. You need to know I'm a very insecure person, I have a very low self-esteem, I'm not perfect. I am everything but perfect. I find it hard to trust people now. I've made mistakes in the past, and I've learned to live with them. I've learned to accept people for who they really are, It's not hard. Sometimes, I can't be bothered anymore. Sometimes I don't even want to be alive,but, the thing is. I have a million reasons to be alive and I just haven't found them yet. I miss the people I shouldn't even think of anymore. I've liked, I've loved, I've been hurt. I have hurt people. I'm not perfect. But hey, this is me. And before you walk into my life, you need to know these things. Because, if you walk into my life, you can't walk out when things get hard. Just like all the other people did.
I choose... To live by choice, not by chance; To make changes, not excuses; To be motivated, not manipulated; To be useful, not used; To excell, not compete. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
I am the books I read, the films I watch, The music I listen to, The people I meet, The dreams I have, The conversations I engage in. I am what I take from these. I am the sound of the ocean, The breath of fresh air, The brightest light, and The darkest corner. I am a collection of every experience I have had in my life. I am every single second of every single day; So, I'll drown myself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through my veins and the colors through my mind.
You've noticed a change, huh? I don't text you as often. I never call you anymore. When I do text you, I never say sweet things to you anymore. I take my time texting you back. When you try and start an argument, You can tell I really don't care. I make you feel pathetic, but you made me feel worse. Guys text me now, and I actually answer. You actually notice that I’m moving on, I'm talking to other guys and going on dates. And now, You're starting to realize how beautiful I really am. I'm amazing, aren't I? Well, too bad, You lost me. There was a time where you were my world. My everything. I really wanted you, but you pushed me aside. You failed to realize that I was unlike the rest. I wasn't afraid to walk away, I was strong enough to let you go. And now you love me? Do you even know how much pain you caused me? A LOT. So, Don't come around with your "I miss you stuff". I'm gone.
As I grew up, I realized that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let you down, probably will. You will have your heart broken more than once and It is harder every time. You'll break hearts, too. So remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be happy with myself. I worry that If I can't be happy with myself, then nobody will ever be happy with me, and that just makes me even more paranoid. It's a cycle, insecurity, unconfidence, and diffidence. It's all a cycle and it's destroying me.
If I want to cover myself in a fake tan or makeup, let me. If I want to bleach my hair or wear extensions,let me. You are nobody to judge me, chances are I hide behind makeup because of people like you telling me I'm not good enough. So stop the crap about me. Chances are, you are just as insecure as me.
knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've sat in my room and cried, How many times I've lost hope, How many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back the tears, How many times I've felt like I'm about to snap but don't just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that have gone through my head whenever I'm sad, and how horrible they are.
My eyes, they used to shine so bright.
Don't tell me I don't have any reason to be that depressed and I should just open my eyes and look around me. It only proves what you know about me, proves that you can't imagine what I see through my eyes and what's happening inside my head. I can't find any happiness. I can't see any beauty around me- only pain. Artificiality and hoplessness.
No, I'm not okay. I'm destroyed. I'm broken. I'm a mess. I'm missing the most important pieces, I will never be a whole. I will never be okay.
You know what? Yes, I have changed. I'm not as nice as I used to be, because I don't want to get used or walked over, I don't trust everyone and tell them my secrets, because behind every fake smile is a backstabbing b*tch. I distance myself from people because in the end, they're only going to leave. I have changed because I have realized that I'm the only person I can depend on.
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| Want To Find: |
A man ages 18 to 24 to date |
| Interests: |
Didn't Say |
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