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| 8/29/2012 11:53:48 AM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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skylar1980
Philadelphia, PA
36, joined Aug. 2012
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HERE IS WHY:
Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.
» PROOF #2
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.
» PROOF #3
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.
» PROOF #4
Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.
» PROOF #5
Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.
» PROOF #6
Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".
» PROOF #7
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.
» PROOF #8
According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.
God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods".
copied from church of google
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| 9/3/2012 12:43:39 AM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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mm4902
Omaha, NE
25, joined Jul. 2012
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I like your thought though it may just be easier not to belong to any church.
The inner troll in me needs to point out a few details though.
>The Company Google is predominately male(based on my knowledge of the general Computer Science Community and the current Google Management) and The massive network of cheap Linux Servers lack a sex and if you had to give it one would likely take the sex of its majority contributors or it's Mascot
> Technically the network is not infinite since our communication networks are clearly not infinite and there is still a "dark-side" to the net that has not been mapped by Google's Crawlers
>Google provides Information which the human mind can manipulate into something useful. Which is still more than any God has been proven to do (try praying to Joe Pesci)
> Finally Google May be one of the few Corporations I trust a little when it comes to ethics but it's been proven their not necessarily benevolent or malevolent
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| 9/3/2012 4:51:16 AM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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belphegor1943
Austin, TX
34, joined May. 2012
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That's blasphemy! Google did not create the Earth, the Flying Spaghetti Monster did. He created it in 3 days and then took 4 days off. Indeed, our Lord is very slothful (this is why we eat, breath, and speak through the same orifice; it's also why we evacuate and reproduce through another, he just didn't want to think too much). He has commanded us all to be lazy and slothful like him, and indulge in carnal pleasures; the evidence of this is ubiquitous. I will listen to no logic or reason to suggest otherwise *plugs ears*. If you are so blind that you cannot see the obvious existence of His infinite noodles then you deserve to spend eternity in a frozen hell... with beer too frozen to ever drink. R'Amen.
[Edited 9/3/2012 4:53:26 AM ]
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| 10/22/2012 6:08:44 PM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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halcyonmerc
Lawton, OK
23, joined Oct. 2012
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That's blasphemy! Google did not create the Earth, the Flying Spaghetti Monster did. He created it in 3 days and then took 4 days off. Indeed, our Lord is very slothful (this is why we eat, breath, and speak through the same orifice; it's also why we evacuate and reproduce through another, he just didn't want to think too much). He has commanded us all to be lazy and slothful like him, and indulge in carnal pleasures; the evidence of this is ubiquitous. I will listen to no logic or reason to suggest otherwise *plugs ears*. If you are so blind that you cannot see the obvious existence of His infinite noodles then you deserve to spend eternity in a frozen hell... with beer too frozen to ever drink. R'Amen.
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| 1/27/2013 3:52:03 PM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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rubennieto
Albuquerque, NM
48, joined Jan. 2013
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Google sucke...I'd rather use yauba but they still havent reinstated their server....
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| 2/20/2013 2:52:58 PM |
I'm joining the church of google |
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studmcroughlove
Philadelphia, PA
36, joined May. 2012
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Love. This.
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