How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?

11/2/2012 3:24:44 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Serious question...I have been in a relationship with a woman for over 6 years. On her Facebook under "relationship status" she lists herself as widowed. She was widowed in 2001. Is it me, or is it normal or OK to call yourself widowed for that long period of time? Especially if you have moved on and are in a committed long term relationship. For that matter, how long do you list yourself as divorced instead of single? I was widowed in 1984 and remarried in 1987, divorced in 2006. So am I now either widowed or divorced or wouldn't it be normal to simply say I'm single? (If I was not in a complicated long term relationship) Since we agreed to a committed relationship in 2007, my Facebook page listed me as "in a relationship" under relationship status. Your thoughts? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
11/2/2012 4:22:06 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	It was hard for me to list myself as 'in a relationship' in Facebook. I think for a couple of reasons...I am a widow, even though I am involved, I'm still one. And it took a long time for Facebook to add that relationship label so I felt like I had to use it to prove it was a label they needed. (I know, that one is kind of iffy.) I still think of my self as widowed. I am involved and I think of my self as in a relationship, too. I guess if asked I'd use both. I don't know that I'd stop saying I am a widow until I am married again, and even then, in conversation if it goes beyond the basics, I would say I had been widowed. It is who I am. It's become a part of me. But as I don't mention every label I hold, I'd only say "widow" when it's appropriate, I guess. I know I feel a bit snobbish about it and prefer it over "single". I suppose that can lead to a sort of superiority thing which I hope I do not have.
11/2/2012 7:18:45 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
falsedawn Tacoma, WA 38, joined Apr. 2012	It depends on the person I'll always be a widow I wouldn't change my FB status unless I was in a VERY serious committed relationship. Have you talked to her about how it makes you feel? I wouldn't press to hard but make your feelings known
11/3/2012 5:39:45 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
whistlerblue Lancaster, CA 58, joined Jun. 2010	Quote from lovethelake17: It was hard for me to list myself as 'in a relationship' in Facebook. I think for a couple of reasons...I am a widow, even though I am involved, I'm still one. And it took a long time for Facebook to add that relationship label so I felt like I had to use it to prove it was a label they needed. (I know, that one is kind of iffy.) I still think of my self as widowed. I am involved and I think of my self as in a relationship, too. I guess if asked I'd use both. I don't know that I'd stop saying I am a widow until I am married again, and even then, in conversation if it goes beyond the basics, I would say I had been widowed. It is who I am. It's become a part of me. But as I don't mention every label I hold, I'd only say "widow" when it's appropriate, I guess. I know I feel a bit snobbish about it and prefer it over "single". I suppose that can lead to a sort of superiority thing which I hope I do not have. Wow, very well put. Change the word "widow" to "widower" and I would repeat the same thing word for word.
11/4/2012 6:09:26 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
bha36 Myrtle Beach, SC 39, joined Oct. 2012
11/4/2012 11:05:51 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	Thanks. I should clarify, though. My FB status does say "in a relationship with ____". I show as "in a relationship" here, too. When you put "in a relationship with ____" on FB, did she refuse the request, or did you not bother setting it up that way so she never had the opportunity to accept or deny? [Edited 11/4/2012 11:07:54 AM ]
11/4/2012 2:13:40 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
24milkduds San Francisco, CA 57, joined Mar. 2012	Quote from lovethelake17: It was hard for me to list myself as 'in a relationship' in Facebook. I think for a couple of reasons...I am a widow, even though I am involved, I'm still one. And it took a long time for Facebook to add that relationship label so I felt like I had to use it to prove it was a label they needed. (I know, that one is kind of iffy.) I still think of my self as widowed. I am involved and I think of my self as in a relationship, too. I guess if asked I'd use both. I don't know that I'd stop saying I am a widow until I am married again, and even then, in conversation if it goes beyond the basics, I would say I had been widowed. It is who I am. It's become a part of me. But as I don't mention every label I hold, I'd only say "widow" when it's appropriate, I guess. I know I feel a bit snobbish about it and prefer it over "single". I suppose that can lead to a sort of superiority thing which I hope I do not have. ^^^you are filled with so much wisdom! I would have to agree I feel da same...
11/7/2012 4:21:13 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
bigramdriver San Jose, CA 62, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from gentlemanjim1: ......snip..... For that matter, how long do you list yourself as divorced instead of single? I was widowed in 1984 and remarried in 1987, divorced in 2006. So am I now either widowed or divorced or wouldn't it be normal to simply say I'm single? (If I was not in a complicated long term relationship) ......snip..... Your thoughts? Personally, I hate people who misuse the term Single. IMO, Single is someone who has never married. If you've married, you're either, separated, divorced, or widowed. That would be like saying I haven't had sex for 'X' years so I'm a virgin again.
11/7/2012 6:17:52 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	From the time of the spouses death until the survivor weds, again, if ever.
11/8/2012 12:45:22 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cowboy815 Jefferson, SD 65, joined Apr. 2012	As long as it takes you to move on. I don't like the term "widower" but I'm single why can't I use single?
11/8/2012 8:56:57 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from cowboy815: As long as it takes you to move on. I don't like the term "widower" but I'm single why can't I use single? Thanks for a lot of good opinions. The reason I asked was because the lady I was inn love with and deeply involved with, had her status as widow on her Facebook page. After 6 years of being committed to each other, I would think it was time to change that to "in a relationship" since that was the truth. To say that you are a widow indicates that you may be available for a relationship. Well it never bothered me much unto we broke up a few days before I asked this question. So now it seemed to me to be a bigger issue then it was when I thought everything was fine. My Facebook page told the truth. I was in a relationship. True, I was widowed once and then remarried and divorced 7 years ago. So now I am single since widowed in 1984 does not seem to fit. Since in a long relationship since being divorced seems like it's wrong at this time. So I now list myself as single. The fact is...I am.
11/8/2012 9:18:49 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	You never talked about it with her the whole time you were together? I guess a quick answer would be that she never fully committed to you and couldn't let go of him. I suspect it's a lot more than just that, though. I'm sorry your relationship fell apart.
11/8/2012 4:46:35 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from lovethelake17: You never talked about it with her the whole time you were together? I guess a quick answer would be that she never fully committed to you and couldn't let go of him. I suspect it's a lot more than just that, though. I'm sorry your relationship fell apart. No Lovethelake, I never asked her about it since it did not bother me until now knowing the relationship was rapidly being cast aside by her. But in a round about way, I do think she could not commit completely due to her memories of him. But other issues with her long before I came along also added to us having a very different meaning and idea of what a commitment and love is really about.
11/8/2012 10:06:50 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
tinkiekitty Bakersfield, CA 60, joined Jun. 2012	I list myself as a widow on my Facebook but if I found someone and was in a relationship with him I would definitely change my status to being in a relationship. I would still consider myself a widow too....until I got engaged or married. Kinda a gray area that until now didn't even think about it. I do hate the word widow sometimes but don't like the word single too!
11/9/2012 7:12:19 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from tinkiekitty: I list myself as a widow on my Facebook but if I found someone and was in a relationship with him I would definitely change my status to being in a relationship. I would still consider myself a widow too....until I got engaged or married. Kinda a gray area that until now didn't even think about it. I do hate the word widow sometimes but don't like the word single too! And this is exactly how I feel too.
11/9/2012 9:24:00 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	Quote from gentlemanjim1: No Lovethelake, I never asked her about it since it did not bother me until now knowing the relationship was rapidly being cast aside by her. But in a round about way, I do think she could not commit completely due to her memories of him. But other issues with her long before I came along also added to us having a very different meaning and idea of what a commitment and love is really about. I think that is often the case. We have different definitions and ideas of what something means. It doesn't mean that either person is wrong, just means they understand things differently. You don't always know that you are, though, until you're looking at it in hindsight.
11/11/2012 6:03:39 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
nelly54 Austin, TX 61, joined Dec. 2011	Dear friend... I can see your concern of which way should be addressed, weather, Single, Divorced or Widowed. Myself being widowed for 3 years, when you post your information, sometimes is better to address single. as you said you were widower and then re-married, then after divorced, well then that makes you to the public divorced or single, but when they asked you have you ever been married or divorced, the answer will be either divorced or widower. Single is when you'd never being married. We want to know your previous life, divorce or widower. I started using single, cause lot of guys think I have life insurance, when indeed don't have one. Not everyones has a life insurance while your married. It looks to me like both of you still in search, since your still on the dating site. If I was on a serious relationship...my site will be removed Wish you both lots of luck, Honestly is the number one in my criteria. Nelly
11/12/2012 1:25:06 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
tinkiekitty Bakersfield, CA 60, joined Jun. 2012	After my husband died I went to change my auto insurance and they told me that my insurance rate would go up because I was considered single, because I a single driver of my household! I asked them if they could put me in as widowed and now my insurance went up but not as much as listing me as single..... I told the insurance people I sure wasn't single or a widow by choice!!!! Been driving 40 years and never have had parking ticket. If fact I don't recall ever having a claim for at least 14 years! That was an accident that was not my fault!!!!
11/12/2012 9:30:29 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from nelly54: Dear friend... It looks to me like both of you still in search, since your still on the dating site. If I was on a serious relationship...my site will be removed Nelly Nelly, I joined this site when we were still committed. I joined for the purpose of staying in touch with some friends I have made before the relationship started and that was on another site. I stayed for the FORUMS. I enjoy them...sometimes. But my profile CLEARLY said I was in a committed relationship and not here to date or meet any women for any reason beyond friendship. You will find many members here that are in relationships and clearly let it be known on their profile.
11/12/2012 2:01:12 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mannymax1 Canyon Lake, TX 64, joined Mar. 2012	I guess you are always widowed then widowed and remarried. I think it is strictly a personal choice.
11/12/2012 2:07:26 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mannymax1 Canyon Lake, TX 64, joined Mar. 2012	The main thing to remember about that is that the person has gone thru a tremendous loss. I lost a son and that hurnt.
11/13/2012 12:02:15 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	I will always be a widow of my late husband. But should I remarry I will again be a wife.
12/1/2012 3:34:26 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
jimm56 Fillmore, IL 60, joined Nov. 2012	Legally if your wife/husband die's you are a widow or widower until you remarry. I'm just saying.
12/1/2012 1:35:00 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
chilln49 Indian River, MI 53, joined Aug. 2012	Quote from mannymax1: The main thing to remember about that is that the person has gone thru a tremendous loss. I lost a son and that hurnt. Manny, My heart goes out to you. I know what you are feeling. It's a hurt that won't ever go away. Losing a child is devastating. I lost my oldest daughter 6 yrs ago. She was 21 yrs old. I lost my husband 9 months ago. We grieve in different ways for different losses. In my opinion if you have lost a spouse then you will have and always will be a widow. Even if you remarry doesnt mean you didnt lose your spouse.
12/6/2012 6:41:23 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lkibbie Norco, CA 42, joined Jul. 2012	About 2 months then I called myself 'single'. Widow is not a very attractive word I found and it made people pity me which I hate.
12/11/2012 8:03:33 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
bearridgegal Saint Robert, MO 69, joined Jan. 2011	Soon will be 13 years for me so I consider myself to be single.
12/14/2012 1:33:46 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
hawkeye111x Boise, ID 55, joined Nov. 2012	We as widowers will always be widowers in this life time, regardless of being divorced or single. It is a title given on almost every form we fill out for a job or references etc etc. Be proud of who you are regardless of what people think. I am a widower, and although I am not proud of being this way and wish she was back on this earth. It is something I live with every day since 1996. On facebook I am a widower, and my friends know this. I wouldn't think it would make a difference, but it shows respect for the beloved that is gone, but not forgotten. Please be patient and live this live with alacrity and laughter. Live it with all the happiness she would want you to be living. I do this each and every day, and although it is hard at times especially during Christmas time, I have learned to deal with it. May all of you rest easy and have a wonderful day..............
12/16/2012 12:28:43 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
sdsdswswim Camp Verde, AZ 53, joined Nov. 2009	After 34 years of marriage ... until i remarry.
12/23/2012 6:09:27 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
24milkduds San Francisco, CA 57, joined Mar. 2012	::idontknow: guess when and if you remarry
12/28/2012 5:54:50 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
rennwench North Highlands, CA 45, joined Nov. 2012	In a relationship, remarried, dating........ You will ALWAYS be a widow. That never changes. It was God Damned hard to go through and you earned every bit of that title, but, at some point you do need to change to in a relationship to move on in your life.
12/29/2012 10:40:48 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mimmie1 Tazewell, TN 65, joined Dec. 2012	well i have been a widow for 10 years now , have started listing as single . hope it works better that way , ready to move on with my life !
1/27/2013 11:49:41 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
kath189 Chalfont, PA 64, joined Oct. 2008	Quote from gentlemanjim1: Nelly, I joined this site when we were still committed. I joined for the purpose of staying in touch with some friends I have made before the relationship started and that was on another site. I stayed for the FORUMS. I enjoy them...sometimes. But my profile CLEARLY said I was in a committed relationship and not here to date or meet any women for any reason beyond friendship. You will find many members here that are in relationships and clearly let it be known on their profile. I'm a widow out of respect for my late husband but if I was living with someone I would list myself as a commited relationship. If you are commited put it under one roof, I didn't and found out he was looking on personals all the time, 5 wasted yrs and now I have a trust issue.
1/31/2013 1:11:13 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
sully2217 Tacoma, WA 61, joined Sep. 2012	I lost my wife after 30 years of marriage...I called myself a widower untill I had a serious relationship that lasted three years...we broke up, so now I list myself as single...This probably applies to divorced folks as well, but I think you call yourself whatever your last serious relationship ended up leaving you as being...Specifics are fodder for the getting to know process with your next dates...
1/31/2013 10:10:23 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	Seems as though I have answered this before ~~~~~~ from the time he dies until the time I should remarry, if ever.
2/2/2013 11:27:03 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
irishlass3 Marion, IL 64, joined Jun. 2011	YOU are a widow or a widower until you remarry, if ever!
2/20/2013 11:54:39 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
marlotho Slippery Rock, PA 60, joined Aug. 2012	as long as i do not remarry i will call myself a widow because that is what i am
2/21/2013 2:43:03 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lyoungbuck Columbus, OH 57, joined Feb. 2013	untill you remarry i've been a widow for 26 years ..have never remarried and this was when i was 27 am now 53 and i do list as single just easier this way.
2/23/2013 7:48:46 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
redbutterfly61 Timberville, VA 54, joined Jan. 2013	been widowed for over 10 yrs and had relationships since then. Still consider myself widowed~~ always will.
2/23/2013 11:26:52 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
talentedmom Colton, CA 60, joined Oct. 2011	Until you remarry, you are considered by law a widow.
2/26/2013 12:44:44 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
wendybaby3 Oklahoma City, OK 44, joined Oct. 2012	Ok im a widow and I think that ill b one untill I get married or die I hope death comes first because the thought of getting married again scares the hell out of me so thats my opinion anyone who knows me knows thats how I realy feel
2/26/2013 12:54:02 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	Quote from talentedmom: Until you remarry, you are considered by law a widow. lol...there's a law about it?
2/28/2013 7:07:48 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
poetrywriter70 Beaumont, TX 46, joined Feb. 2013	My husband will always be my soul mate. Its hard to move on
3/5/2013 8:46:37 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
boothillgirl Blytheville, AR 65, joined Mar. 2012	i feel im a widow until i remarry.
3/8/2013 4:52:50 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
wouldneverwork Evergreen, CO 34, joined Nov. 2012	until i marry if i ever do, i will be a widow.
3/21/2013 10:46:47 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
hugandakiss_xo Merritt, NC 61, joined Jul. 2011	Yes..... I guess I am a woman and my husband died. I can't change that. I now call myself single , but I do use ... widowed in my profile as part of my description. Being a widow.... makes me feel like a victim of circumstance I'm a woman without a spouse.. Therefore I'm single ! Me being a widow shouldnt be a factor in finding a new love.
3/22/2013 2:03:29 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	Until you don't want to? Or until you re-marry.
3/22/2013 8:48:43 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
swthrtsnoogle Lawrence, KS 54, joined Mar. 2013	I am new to this site, however, I am a widow and have been since July 2005. No matter what an individual does in life or what relationships they pursue, some people never will understand what a widow or widower means. If you have had the sadness of losing a spouse, you will ALWAYS be that persons widow or widower. You can remarry and still be the widow or widower of the spouse that died. NOTHING changes that. If a person is capable and wanting to move on, then by all means they should. Those who choose to date us need to remember that we will speak of our spouses who died in a loving way. We will miss them. It was NOT a divorce or broken relationship that ended bitterly. Huge differences. Another point I wish to make, a widow or widower knows what it means to love someone. Just because they have lost a spouse does not mean they are not able to love again. That being said, push us in a relationship and we will back off faster than you can blink. We are like anyone else. A label of widow or widower is just to let others know that we lost a spouse. To be fair to those whom we choose to date, we should be respectful enough not to mention our spouses who died in excess. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting your prior love. It does mean allowing yourself the opportunity to feel love and give love again.
3/23/2013 4:17:08 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	once a widow or widower .. always a widow or widower
4/28/2013 6:50:16 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
spp1962 Brockton, MA 53, joined May. 2008	I think everyone is different. I wasn't even married, but was in a committed relationship that lasted much longer than some marriages, so I consider myself a widow. I imagine I will consider myself a widow forever, but might not always use that word to describe my relationship status. It's been more than five years for me now. Talk about lonely!! Does anyone feel like people tend to avoid you because they don't want to be around someone that is so full of grief and emotional. Right when I could have used friends and family, I felt deserted. But that's ok, I probably needed time to just be alone and do just that...GRIEVE!!! I don't think there is an appropriate amount of time to spend on a process of grieving. Everyone is different. I feel that I am one of the sensitive ones, and hold on a little tighter having difficulty letting go. I think I am starting to feel more at peace with his loss, and know we will see one another in the afterlife. I have suffered many losses, and would have to say that losing your significant other is so much harder to deal with. To go from being in a loving relationship to suddenly having that person pulled out of your life never to be seen again. For the longest time, my subconscious wouldn't accept that he was gone...and I would wait for him knowing he wasn't coming home, but not being able to get my subconscious to stop thinking it. God Bless You All!! I trust that it does get better!!!
4/28/2013 8:17:20 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
sunnydee7777 Clermont, FL 66, joined Aug. 2011
4/30/2013 11:07:18 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
rennwench North Highlands, CA 45, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from swthrtsnoogle: I am new to this site, however, I am a widow and have been since July 2005. No matter what an individual does in life or what relationships they pursue, some people never will understand what a widow or widower means. If you have had the sadness of losing a spouse, you will ALWAYS be that persons widow or widower. You can remarry and still be the widow or widower of the spouse that died. NOTHING changes that. If a person is capable and wanting to move on, then by all means they should. Those who choose to date us need to remember that we will speak of our spouses who died in a loving way. We will miss them. It was NOT a divorce or broken relationship that ended bitterly. Huge differences. Another point I wish to make, a widow or widower knows what it means to love someone. Just because they have lost a spouse does not mean they are not able to love again. That being said, push us in a relationship and we will back off faster than you can blink. We are like anyone else. A label of widow or widower is just to let others know that we lost a spouse. To be fair to those whom we choose to date, we should be respectful enough not to mention our spouses who died in excess. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting your prior love. It does mean allowing yourself the opportunity to feel love and give love again. THIS
4/30/2013 11:12:57 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
sunnydee7777 Clermont, FL 66, joined Aug. 2011	Quote from swthrtsnoogle: I am new to this site, however, I am a widow and have been since July 2005. No matter what an individual does in life or what relationships they pursue, some people never will understand what a widow or widower means. If you have had the sadness of losing a spouse, you will ALWAYS be that persons widow or widower. You can remarry and still be the widow or widower of the spouse that died. NOTHING changes that. If a person is capable and wanting to move on, then by all means they should. Those who choose to date us need to remember that we will speak of our spouses who died in a loving way. We will miss them. It was NOT a divorce or broken relationship that ended bitterly. Huge differences. Another point I wish to make, a widow or widower knows what it means to love someone. Just because they have lost a spouse does not mean they are not able to love again. That being said, push us in a relationship and we will back off faster than you can blink. We are like anyone else. A label of widow or widower is just to let others know that we lost a spouse. To be fair to those whom we choose to date, we should be respectful enough not to mention our spouses who died in excess. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting your prior love. It does mean allowing yourself the opportunity to feel love and give love again. well said and I agree...thanks for posting this
5/3/2013 5:30:51 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
duchessa Yonkers, NY 63, joined Aug. 2008	Quote from swthrtsnoogle: . Moving on doesn't mean forgetting your prior love. It does mean allowing yourself the opportunity to feel love and give love again. Beautiful post. Thank you.
5/5/2013 10:36:13 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
funnyface4him Butler, PA 49, joined Mar. 2010	There are a few of us here that have moved on with our lives and still come in here too help others or too get help. Just because we stared dating again or even if we find that special someone too finish writing the chapters we have left in our lives doesn't mean we can't come in here and give help or still come in too help others. I can honestly say this site and the members I've come too think of as family have helped me stay alive since I lost my husband 3 years 3 months and 17 days ago. I still come in her too see if I can help others and sometimes errrr a lot of times to help me. doesn't mean I'm lookin for someone it means that I know this site exists that no matter how long you've been a widow./widower you still need help every once in awhile. Hugs too all!! Love ya all. Theresa
5/5/2013 10:12:02 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
vander_b Pittsburgh, PA 44, joined Aug. 2011	You got dumped, get over it, move on. Why are you asking questions after the relationship ended, if you had asked questions during it do u think it would have saved it? My guess is no. You were a distraction for her until she got bored with and moved onto someone else. Forget her, find someone new and pretend she doesn't exist.
5/6/2013 8:40:59 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mkjpol Huntersville, NC 72, joined Jan. 2011	I believe you call yourself a widow or widower until you are married again.
5/10/2013 1:58:54 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
swthrtsnoogle Lawrence, KS 54, joined Mar. 2013	I have been so busy and did not check the forums. I am so glad that my words meant something to some of you. I have had a few days of struggle lately. Being a widow will always be something I cherish even though it brought me pain and heartache to lose my spouse. If I should ever remarry it will still be part of my joint title...widowed and married. I do believe it is up to each individual to title themselves however they feel comfortable. Don't let social groups and society dictate to you how things "should" be. Your own heart will guide you. If someone you see is offended by you claiming widow/widower status... they are insecure, jealous and not worth your time.
5/10/2013 11:24:46 AM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mkjpol Huntersville, NC 72, joined Jan. 2011	Quote from gentlemanjim1: Serious question...I have been in a relationship with a woman for over 6 years. On her Facebook under "relationship status" she lists herself as widowed. She was widowed in 2001. Is it me, or is it normal or OK to call yourself widowed for that long period of time? Especially if you have moved on and are in a committed long term relationship. For that matter, how long do you list yourself as divorced instead of single? I was widowed in 1984 and remarried in 1987, divorced in 2006. So am I now either widowed or divorced or wouldn't it be normal to simply say I'm single? (If I was not in a complicated long term relationship) Since we agreed to a committed relationship in 2007, my Facebook page listed me as "in a relationship" under relationship status. Your thoughts? I think your girl friend who you speak of, should list her self as in a relationship on her facebook page if she is true to herself, and you. Yes, she is a widow, she will always be a widow until she remarries. However, she is misleading people by not telling the whole story. What she is forgetting to tell is that she is a in a relationship at this time. I think you are correct to say you are in a relationship on facebook. You are not misleading people, she is. You are a divorced, widowed man who is in a relationship at this time. Once you are no longer in a relationship, you are now a widowed, divorced man who was in a long term relationship. Does that make you single, well I guess so since there is only you now, because you are no longer married and you are not in a long term relationship.
5/10/2013 7:18:14 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
gentlemanjim1 Fort Myers, FL 67, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from mkjpol: I think your girl friend who you speak of, should list her self as in a relationship on her facebook page if she is true to herself, and you. Yes, she is a widow, she will always be a widow until she remarries. However, she is misleading people by not telling the whole story. What she is forgetting to tell is that she is a in a relationship at this time. I think you are correct to say you are in a relationship on facebook. You are not misleading people, she is. You are a divorced, widowed man who is in a relationship at this time. Once you are no longer in a relationship, you are now a widowed, divorced man who was in a long term relationship. Does that make you single, well I guess so since there is only you now, because you are no longer married and you are not in a long term relationship. All good points from others, but you are the only one that got it what I was talking about! On this site and on Facebook, if you are in a committed relationship, you should list yourself as "in a relationship". True, she is a widow, but for sites like this or Facebook, it would have been more honest and respectful to me and our relationship for her to have chose "In a relationship" from the drop down menu. Sadly, the relationship is over as of November 3, 2012.
5/11/2013 5:24:49 PM	How long do you call yourself a widow or widower?
mkjpol Huntersville, NC 72, joined Jan. 2011	Quote from gentlemanjim1: All good points from others, but you are the only one that got it what I was talking about! On this site and on Facebook, if you are in a committed relationship, you should list yourself as "in a relationship". True, she is a widow, but for sites like this or Facebook, it would have been more honest and respectful to me and our relationship for her to have chose "In a relationship" from the drop down menu. Sadly, the relationship is over as of November 3, 2012. Don't be sad, because I don't think she was an honest person, she only told half the truth about herself. Telling only half the truth is a lie. Some people just don't get that.

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