kathysmith
Fort Lauderdale, FL
55, joined Jun. 2010
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Love is love...
...and loss is loss.
Spread the word loudly.
Refuse to battle any longer.
For in the game of "My Pain is Worse than Your Pain"...
...there will never be any winners.
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gdaddy47
Columbia, TN
70, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Well what you're saying is a true thing. What are you saying though?
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chilln49
Indian River, MI
54, joined Aug. 2012
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this makes no sense to me? Am I losing it?
[Edited 12/31/2012 8:01:15 PM ]
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blackribbon
Royal Oak, MI
52, joined Dec. 2012
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I suspect it has to do with the situation where people start comparing their problems ... to make it sound like their life is worse than ours (or anyone else's). Nobody wins at this "game". Pain is pain...and it hurts.
It often goes on when divorced people (or other "loss" situations) try to compare their pain with widowed people. Both people feel intense pain and it is real and valid...but it really can't be compared fairly. Nobody wins when everyone's pain is treated like it isn't "real" or "isn't as intense. Just accept that it is different (and even the same loss hurts differently for different people). Be compassionate. That should be enough.
I know that I heard the statement "Well, at least YOU....." several times in reference to my "lucky situation of my husband dying". Widows aren't immune from being cruel and can say it back to divorce people too. Like the OP said, nobody wins when these cruel comparison games are played.
If you hurt because your dog died last year...yes, I will give you compassion because it is sad and it does hurt to lose a pet. Please offer me back the same respect and don't say "I understand what you feel" because I'm sorry, my husband was not a dog. We can just be compassionate because their pain is real.
[Edited 12/31/2012 8:30:01 PM ]
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