2/1/2013 1:12:50 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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I sat down and was having a BEER..
...Then this OLD Hagg sat so Near
.......She then said ... I bet you don't know what I have in my cup
...........I said a Cup of Crap ..then got up Tilted My Hat
................Lifted my Right Leg and Farted and left without finishing my BEER!!!
......................
the BULL....
[Edited 2/1/2013 1:15:00 PM ]
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2/2/2013 5:25:16 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.
..She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
....Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey,
.....be proud that your monkey has grown hair"
.........The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"....
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .
..................................................Mom fainted...
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2/2/2013 5:31:48 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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jadedo
Mendon, MA
68, joined Apr. 2010
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2/2/2013 8:27:48 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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A professor at the University of Texas was giving a lecture on
'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to
lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what
your a**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably watching the Super Bowl with his buddies.'
the BULL...
[Edited 2/2/2013 8:29:50 PM ]
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2/2/2013 8:30:11 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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ooohman2
Brockton, MA
71, joined Dec. 2009
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2/6/2013 12:14:56 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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lovetoplay642
Beaverton, OR
70, joined Apr. 2011
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Now that there is funny.
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2/6/2013 4:07:45 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
66, joined Jul. 2008
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Lady: Do you drink?
Man: Yes
Lady: How much a day?
Man: 3 six packs
Lady: How much per six pack
Man: about $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So one six pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 six packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in one year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your f**king Ferrari?
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2/6/2013 8:07:45 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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tadpole923
Raleigh, NC
63, joined Mar. 2011
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WAY TO GO BEAR...
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2/6/2013 8:09:48 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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ooohman2
Brockton, MA
71, joined Dec. 2009
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2/12/2013 8:13:16 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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I think this is a good joke with Valentines Day coming up
Two women were sitting together having drinks, when the one woman noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses.
The woman says to the other woman, "isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?" The woman replies, yes it is.
The woman responds by saying, "Oh you are so lucky".
The other woman says, "No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air and spread apart." The other woman says, "Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in"?
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2/12/2013 11:43:31 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all in the doctors office waiting to be examined.
The redhead said,"I'm having a boy",
"Well how do you know?" they asked.
"I was on top," she answered.
The brunette said,"Then I'm having a girl as I was on the bottom."
The blonde started crying and screamed, "Oh, my I'm having puppies!!"
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2/18/2013 11:10:57 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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An elderly married couple was
at home watching TV.
The husband had the remote
and was switching back and forth
between a fishing channel and
the porn channel.
The wife became more and more
annoyed and finally said:
"For god's sake! Leave it on
the porn channel.
You already know how to fish!"
................
the BULL...
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2/18/2013 10:21:17 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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.....................
the BULL...
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2/18/2013 10:59:12 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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madmadame
Burnsville, MN
68, joined Jun. 2011
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What do you get when you mix beans with onions?
Tear Gas!!
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2/21/2013 1:34:39 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
67, joined May. 2010
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at least it was a gas and not a solid
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2/21/2013 1:28:57 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh... she got fired too."
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2/21/2013 1:43:14 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
67, joined May. 2010
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
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2/23/2013 8:35:01 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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2/23/2013 9:41:05 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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...............................Going #1..............Soon to be going #2
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2/26/2013 5:53:47 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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cuddly101a
Wheeling, WV
70, joined Feb. 2011
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2/26/2013 6:16:38 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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that is hilarious
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2/26/2013 6:43:43 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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2/26/2013 8:23:10 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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That dog has the same blue eyes as you do Bull. And I think I've seen that look before..
You got me mixed up with one of your other X's SLK... I played careful when I was young..
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2/26/2013 8:30:02 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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2/26/2013 8:38:11 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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hamaker
Winchester, OR
72, joined Nov. 2009
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I've just split a gut laughing !!
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2/27/2013 8:22:44 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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2/27/2013 8:58:50 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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Just for you Bull
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2/27/2013 12:57:28 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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2/27/2013 3:08:41 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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lifesahoot2
North Myrtle Beach, SC
63, joined Sep. 2012
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2/28/2013 1:15:33 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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Just for you Bull
Thanks for posting this Misty... Its one of my Favorites..
Lifesahoot... you need to post this in the Grouch Thread...
...........Those Old Hen's over there in the OLD Hen House would love to have a STIFF NECK C*CK around..
[Edited 2/28/2013 1:17:29 AM ]
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3/1/2013 8:58:24 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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...............You know its not only Women who have "Knockers"
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3/2/2013 7:37:36 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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3/2/2013 7:38:31 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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madmadame
Burnsville, MN
68, joined Jun. 2011
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...............You know its not only Women who have "Knockers"
those aren't knockers...they look like church bells!! hahahahahaha
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3/2/2013 8:11:50 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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those aren't knockers...they look like church bells!! hahahahahaha
...............Take your Med's Madame... Get new glasses ... "Keep Knocking"..
................................What would you know about Church Bells.. Geeezzee
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3/2/2013 8:17:05 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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madmadame
Burnsville, MN
68, joined Jun. 2011
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<----- totally unmedicated and raw...hahahhhahaa! I've actually seen a pair like that once but it was in a National Geographic magazine!
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3/2/2013 8:23:17 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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<----- totally unmedicated and raw...hahahhhahaa! I've actually seen a pair like that once but it was in a National Geographic magazine!
...........Here you go Madame... Take another LK
.........
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3/2/2013 8:35:21 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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madmadame
Burnsville, MN
68, joined Jun. 2011
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yep...those are the ones! hahahahahahaha
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3/3/2013 10:57:25 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’
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3/3/2013 11:14:18 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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LM(__!__)O at Misty...
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3/3/2013 11:20:38 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
66, joined Jul. 2008
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3/3/2013 11:23:05 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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at Dave.
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3/4/2013 8:31:49 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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topknocker923
Fuquay Varina, NC
62, joined Feb. 2013
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WAY TO GO BEAR another one from the archives,,good to see you AGAIN gotta clean the coffee off my screen from laughing
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3/4/2013 9:04:38 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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Ole,
He is a furniture dealer from up at Duluth MN, decided to expand the line of
furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that
he thought would sell well back Duluth.
To celebrate the new acquisition,he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him
something in French (which Ole couldn't understand), so he motioned to the
vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language.
After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and
drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a
picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner..... after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a
four-poster bed.
To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
I wonder if OLE is a Blond..... the Bull..
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3/4/2013 10:09:21 AM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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misty_4you2
Leamington, ON
64, joined Oct. 2012
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One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a pee. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams.
He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do."
So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?"
The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venom."
Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"
Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"
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3/6/2013 4:01:40 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation. You'll be fine," he said.
She asked “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied ...“Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after just having their tonsils out."
the BULL...
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3/7/2013 12:38:46 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
66, joined Jul. 2008
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When things go wrong,as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile,but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,don't call me, cause I don't give a shit.
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3/9/2013 2:42:48 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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3/10/2013 9:25:04 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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nenebubbles
Naperville, IL
75, joined Mar. 2008
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
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3/10/2013 10:02:18 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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[quoteheader]Quote from nenebubbles:[/quoteheader][quote]
[/quote]
LM(__!__)O... to funny Nene...
[Edited 3/10/2013 10:03:00 PM ]
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3/10/2013 10:16:06 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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Dang.. Didn't get to see Nene's post.. Blank to me so was Bull's. I'm always late..
No SLK your on your phone and apparently your phone doesn't play these little short video's...
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3/10/2013 10:17:55 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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bub049
Minneapolis, MN
69, joined Oct. 2010
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No SLK your on your phone and apparently your phone doesn't play these little short video's...
Probably on her phone and on her broom all at once.....
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3/10/2013 10:20:31 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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sunnydee7777
Clermont, FL
66, joined Aug. 2011
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You naughty boy
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3/10/2013 10:20:55 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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Probably on her phone and on her broom all at once.....
No way she is not Mult-task Bub... I think its because she can't get the Broom out of Reverse..????
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3/10/2013 10:23:08 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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bub049
Minneapolis, MN
69, joined Oct. 2010
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No way she is not Mult-task Bub... I think its because she can't get the Broom out of Reverse..????
Scary gurl!!!!
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3/10/2013 10:25:54 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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bub049
Minneapolis, MN
69, joined Oct. 2010
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Kiss my what before release??
There is the problem..... she can't see.....
She thought it said "Release" and it really says "Reverse"..... wacky woman
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3/10/2013 10:28:59 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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There is the problem..... she can't see.....
She thought it said "Release" and it really says "Reverse"..... wacky woman
Wacky for sure ... Don't ask her what kind of gas she uses to fly those Brooms...
.......................RIP RIP......and thats not Rest in Peace...
[Edited 3/10/2013 10:29:24 PM ]
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3/10/2013 10:32:06 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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I was referring to his release in the " in bed" thread.. Not the reverse.. We all know I don't do reverse..
How do we know... ???????????????
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3/10/2013 10:34:34 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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bub049
Minneapolis, MN
69, joined Oct. 2010
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How do we know... ???????????????
Check out your F150. No dents in the back, but I bet she dinged up the front bumper.....
We already know about the shocks and the railroad tracks.....
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3/10/2013 10:35:58 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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How do we know... ???????????????
Okay now we are talking Trucks... Whew ... I was wondering there for a minute...
[Edited 3/10/2013 10:37:33 PM ]
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3/10/2013 10:39:14 PM |
Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!! |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
72, joined Nov. 2007
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Bub... I can't worry about the back of that truck... Bull only looks at the front..
Your the one that should be worrying about the back of the truck... That is where your going to be riding....
[Edited 3/10/2013 10:39:32 PM ]
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