Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!

12/6/2013 2:24:25 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
laffwimme Bent Mountain, VA 65, joined Jul. 2012	Huh? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
12/6/2013 2:35:41 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
igayle Marshfield, MO 77, joined Jun. 2010	SPEAK LOUDER...........
12/6/2013 7:10:34 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
morles San Antonio, TX 72, joined Nov. 2007
12/8/2013 7:54:30 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
mrusedup Boss, MO 65, joined May. 2012
12/8/2013 3:47:25 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
altje Kernersville, NC 76, joined Jun. 2008	Mike walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Mike said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and escorted Mike to the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Mike what he had. Mike said, Shingles. So the nurse drew blood for a test, took his blood pressure an ask Mike to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked Mike what he had. Mike said, shingles. The doctor asked, “where?” Mike said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them???!
12/8/2013 4:48:53 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
12/8/2013 5:12:04 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
newlady2 Goldsboro, NC 77, joined Apr. 2008	Cuddy-- Now thats a good one --poor woman *LOL
12/8/2013 10:16:43 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
altje Kernersville, NC 76, joined Jun. 2008	A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy." His mother tells him he can't have his breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little mad, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? How come I don't have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick a pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning." Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he accidentally kicks the cat as he walks into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother and says, "Are you going to tell him?"
12/9/2013 10:37:24 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
morles San Antonio, TX 72, joined Nov. 2007	Life just gets better as you get older doesn't it. I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. Oh Shit I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my IPod. ....................This is what happens when old people start using technology. the BULL....
12/10/2013 5:18:19 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
ooohman2 Brockton, MA 71, joined Dec. 2009	A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under “Gorilla Removal Service” and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal. So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade, a pick-up truck, a pair of handcuffs, a ferociously-trained dog and a shotgun. Harry then proceeds to explain the removal procedure to the man because he will need help: “Now, I`m going to climb up in this tree and shake the tree until the gorilla falls out of the tree. The very instant the gorilla hits the ground, this daog is trained to rush up and bite his balls off. This will temporarily immobilize the gorilla allowing you to safely walk up and place the handcuffs on him. I`ll then get him into the truck while he`s still in a daze”. Harry then begins to climb the tree and the man asks, “Hey what`s the shotgun for?” “Oh, yes,” says Harry, “occasionally when I shake the tree, the gorilla shakes back, and if I fall, shoot the damn dog!”
12/10/2013 11:18:03 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	Morris Schwartz,who is on his deathbed and knows the end is near,is with his nurse,his wife,his daughter and 2 sons. "So",he says to them: "Bernie,I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil,take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie,I want you to take the offices over in City Center." "Sarah,my dear wife,please take all the residential buildings downtown." The nurse is just blown away by all this,and as Morris slips away,she says , "Mrs. Schwartz,your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property". Sarah replies,"Property? ... the moron has a paper route!"
12/11/2013 8:17:50 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in Amish country for the office of assemblyman. Outside an Amish homestead,he saw a young man and his sheep. He approached the man,ready to make his pitch for a vote. Just as he was getting started,an old man called from inside the house. "Luke,get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?" "Says he's a politician,Pop," Luke said. "In that case,you'd better bring the sheep inside with you."
12/11/2013 5:13:40 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
mrusedup Boss, MO 65, joined May. 2012
12/11/2013 7:07:59 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
morles San Antonio, TX 72, joined Nov. 2007	Quote from mrusedup: Least the men don't have to go to the expense to buy a BOBBY or have to Depend on Batteries..
12/11/2013 8:02:29 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
newlady2 Goldsboro, NC 77, joined Apr. 2008	Testing..........
12/13/2013 9:03:36 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
mrusedup Boss, MO 65, joined May. 2012
12/14/2013 8:00:17 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
12/14/2013 6:59:11 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
12/14/2013 8:15:06 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
shellfishguy Storden, MN 69, joined Mar. 2009	Thanks, bear - that's the best laugh I have had in a long time.
12/14/2013 8:48:18 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
mrusedup Boss, MO 65, joined May. 2012
12/14/2013 9:08:50 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	Quote from mrusedup: Those are rudders for while dancing..............
12/16/2013 7:50:05 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
laffwimme Bent Mountain, VA 65, joined Jul. 2012	Yikes.........A fat back rack.......
12/16/2013 8:33:59 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
stargazzer Creighton, NE 67, joined Feb. 2007	Quote from laffwimme: Yikes.........A fat back rack....... The Bear will mount it
12/17/2013 10:39:55 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	Uncle Fester doing his part to conserve energy.......
12/18/2013 6:37:54 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	5 years ago today Al Gore predicted that the north pole polar ice cap would have no ice...................in five years so that's today............. it's so cold here it's painful.....................Al Gore has lied to me............ ......
12/18/2013 2:25:26 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
shellfishguy Storden, MN 69, joined Mar. 2009	Possibly he was thinking that it would be ice free in the summer. Just like they keep spouting that the Greenland Ice Sheet is going to melt and raise the sea level in the Atlantic some ten feet. Maybe in another thousand years! ! ! !
12/18/2013 3:17:15 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
shellfishguy Storden, MN 69, joined Mar. 2009	Another little 'scare tactic' used by the alarmists - according to them, the arctic ice cap has shrunk some 30% in the last 25 years, yet there has been no DOCUMENTED sea level rise. Hmmm. Wonder why that is ? ? ?
12/18/2013 5:34:30 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	When devastating hurricanes struck the East Coast, even houses of worship were not spared. A local television station interviewed a woman from New York's Harlem area and asked how the loss of churches in the area had affected their lives. ... Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know 'bout all dem other peoples, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."
12/18/2013 5:40:58 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
shellfishguy Storden, MN 69, joined Mar. 2009	And with a little bit of luck, some 'gator, too! ! !
12/19/2013 6:49:00 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
ooohman2 Brockton, MA 71, joined Dec. 2009
12/19/2013 6:56:33 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
12/20/2013 6:52:33 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	Quote from gentlebear1949: When devastating hurricanes struck the East Coast, even houses of worship were not spared. A local television station interviewed a woman from New York's Harlem area and asked how the loss of churches in the area had affected their lives. ... Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know 'bout all dem other peoples, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's." Laughing at you but you are walking a thin line. Will get your TV show cancelled.
12/20/2013 9:51:22 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	Quote from sankie1: Laughing at you but you are walking a thin line. Will get your TV show cancelled. Good thing I come from the Amish so I don't have to worry about that.................
12/20/2013 10:22:24 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	Quote from gentlebear1949: Good thing I come from the Amish so I don't have to worry about that................. Too shae or however you spell it.
12/20/2013 1:21:12 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
orz Portage, WI 66, joined Jul. 2010	That BBc video is toooooo hilarious!
12/21/2013 9:51:23 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
stargazzer Creighton, NE 67, joined Feb. 2007	Now I don't feel so bad when told I lost my marbles as it's more of a marvel
12/21/2013 3:47:13 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
mrusedup Boss, MO 65, joined May. 2012
12/22/2013 6:02:43 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008	What does a blonde say when you blow in her ears? "Thanks for the refill."
12/22/2013 8:07:32 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	Quote from gentlebear1949: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ears? "Thanks for the refill." Why does Barbie (Blonde Barbie) have a few more brain cells than a horse? So she doesn't ---- in the parade.
12/22/2013 9:03:13 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
duchessa Yonkers, NY 63, joined Aug. 2008	These letters are real. Parent Excuse Letters to Teachers – What NOT To Write Many schools require that if a student is absent from class, they must bring in a note from their parent or guardian when they return. Sometimes a student might need a note to excuse them from taking gym for any number of reasons. The following list of excuses are supposed to be real ones that teachers received from parents. It would appear, after reading through them, that maybe the parents / guardians should also be joining their kids in school instead of just dropping them off. “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.” “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.” “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.” “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.” “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.” “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.” “Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.” “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.” “Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.” “Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.” “Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.” “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.” “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.” “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.” “Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.” “Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.” “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.” “Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.” “Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”
12/24/2013 12:50:46 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
ooohman2 Brockton, MA 71, joined Dec. 2009	After 43 years of marriage, my wife and I went for counseling. When asked what the problem was, my wife went into a tirade listing every problem we had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and asked my wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as I watched - with a raised eyebrow. My wife shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to me and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?" "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, But on Fridays, I GOLF ."
12/24/2013 12:54:01 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
ooohman2 Brockton, MA 71, joined Dec. 2009	Christmas Day Golf Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning.” Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, “Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can’t take her eyes off it.” Number 2 guy says, “I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.” Number 3 guy says “Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.” They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds. ” I can’t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I woke up, slapped my wife on the a** and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas! It’s a great morning for either sex or golf.” and she said ”Take a sweater.”
12/24/2013 2:46:41 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
oh_lydia Upton, MA 69, joined May. 2013
12/28/2013 5:02:45 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	This older couple had been married 40 odd years and bordom sent them out for a Sunday drive. As the wife manouvered the curvy and narrow backroad the husband started finding fault with everything. "I'm tired of hearing your voice" "I'm tired of looking at your wrinkled face" "I'm tired of your leftover dinners" "I'm tired of you period and I'm gonna get a divorce" All she could say through the shock was "Oh my" "Yes", he said in a very confident tone. I'm not giving you the house, I'm not paying alimony or maintenance, I'm even taking the check book. Now what do you say to all that?" "Well", she said. "Just around this curve is a very narrow bridge, I'm in control of this vehicle, and your airbag is turned off".
12/28/2013 5:06:43 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
shellfishguy Storden, MN 69, joined Mar. 2009	Another perfect example of 'alligator mouth overloading hummingbird ass'.
1/1/2014 4:28:00 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
1/3/2014 7:39:40 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	This old southern woman was put on the witness stand during a trial. The attorney stood, turned to the woman and asked "Miss Lissian, do you know me?" She replied "Yes, I do. You were a brat as a young'un, snotty teenager who thought you were better than others, married three times because you ran around on your wives". He sat down red faced "No more questions". The defense attorney stood. "Miss Lillian, do you know me?" "Yes, I do and you're no better than he is, except one of the women he fooled around with is your wife". The judge dropped his gavel "Enough. Counslers approach the bench please". The judge leaned over the bench and said "If either of you ask her if she knows me I'll throw your azz in jail for 10 years".
1/4/2014 3:18:32 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
1/4/2014 3:55:19 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sweetsugar57 Pottsville, PA 65, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from sankie1: This old southern woman was put on the witness stand during a trial. The attorney stood, turned to the woman and asked "Miss Lissian, do you know me?" She replied "Yes, I do. You were a brat as a young'un, snotty teenager who thought you were better than others, married three times because you ran around on your wives". He sat down red faced "No more questions". The defense attorney stood. "Miss Lillian, do you know me?" "Yes, I do and you're no better than he is, except one of the women he fooled around with is your wife". The judge dropped his gavel "Enough. Counslers approach the bench please". The judge leaned over the bench and said "If either of you ask her if she knows me I'll throw your azz in jail for 10 years". hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
1/6/2014 3:29:54 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
bier95 Clara City, MN 65, joined May. 2011	A Ode to Minnesota It’s winter in Minnesota And the gentle breezes blow. 70 miles an hour, At 35 below. Oh how I love Minnesota With the snow up to your butt. You take a Breath of winter air And your nose is frozen shut. Yes the Weather here is wonderful, I think I’ll stick around. I could never leave Minnesota Cause I’m frozen to the ground!
1/7/2014 6:07:23 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	Quote from bier95: A Ode to Minnesota It’s winter in Minnesota And the gentle breezes blow. 70 miles an hour, At 35 below. Oh how I love Minnesota With the snow up to your butt. You take a Breath of winter air And your nose is frozen shut. Yes the Weather here is wonderful, I think I’ll stick around. I could never leave Minnesota Cause I’m frozen to the ground! That's not funny. Ask anyone who is experiencing this but still I'm smiling.
1/7/2014 8:12:24 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
bier95 Clara City, MN 65, joined May. 2011	Since I live on the western side of Minnesota. I thought it was good and close to being true. Only wind chills have been down to 48 below.
1/7/2014 10:47:28 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sankie1 Irvine, KY 68, joined Dec. 2011	Bet the sales of insullated underwear, down coats, and such are big during the Christmas season.
1/7/2014 12:10:38 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
bier95 Clara City, MN 65, joined May. 2011	Those items are big in the sale ads. I buy a heavy work coat every couple of years because winters are so long.
1/7/2014 12:32:54 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
1/12/2014 2:18:39 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
daisy108 Fort Lauderdale, FL 69, joined Feb. 2013	I have had such a good laugh....with so many of these. I loved the BBC video, and Duchessa and the excuses....and Bear and your male model!!! Obscene.....funny....I'm going back to round pg 5 and see what goes...... I haven't see digital dog anywhere...is he still here? Is he ok....
1/12/2014 10:43:44 AM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
sharsea Gulfport, MS 71, joined Dec. 2008	Ran across this old joke earlier and thought I would share it.... Out of mouth's of babes'.
1/13/2014 1:01:45 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008
1/13/2014 3:57:13 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
morles San Antonio, TX 72, joined Nov. 2007
1/13/2014 4:31:06 PM	Bull's Jokes...Sometimes Funny, Sometimes Not!!
gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 66, joined Jul. 2008

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