Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.

1/21/2013 10:32:34 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
dlb17708 Jupiter, FL 55, joined Nov. 2012	I thought that I would start this thread to help those of you that are not computer savvy or are new to the online dating scene. I am by no means an expert on this, but I have seen enough and experienced enough and haven’t seen anyone else post this and thought it might be useful. I’m just another person looking like everyone else. This thread wasn’t intended to be a complaint board for those that have had something bad happen to them, but we should all be interested in what the issue was and how you resolved it. We have all been there, and we all know that it’s difficult and challenging. This is just a place where people can offer suggestions to make it a better and safer experience for all of us, and to provide an understanding on how they resolved issues that may have occurred with other people on the site. This thread isn’t meant to scare anyone off, but to help educate you so that you can be safe. And not to say people on these sites are bad people, but you know what they say about a few bad apples. We all want to meet someone, but there’s no reason we can’t be safe doing it. I would like to start by offering some common sense advice, and please feel free to add to this thread. 1) Don’t use your real name when signing up for a dating site. 2) Don’t give particulars on places you go or where you live, and don’t post pictures that give those places away. Not in your profile and not in texting or calling someone until you get to know them. I have seen too many times that people talk about going to Tiki bars and post a picture of the Tiki bar. It’s pretty easy to know which Tiki bar you go to, and if someone wants to find you they will. The Tiki bar was an example, but it could be anywhere including your neighborhood or the church you attend. And many times, it’s easy to figure out when you will be at these places. 3) Don’t use your normal email account to send someone an email. Many times people just give out their email and don’t think of what they are providing. In many cases at the time you setup your email, you included your name. So when you send an email to someone it will show in their inbox that “John Smith” for example sent you an email. Instead, go setup another email account on Google or somewhere else just for your dating site, and during the setup process, don’t include your last name. Maybe you don’t realize it, but if someone knows what city and specific area you are from and they have your name there are numerous ways to find out where you live. And if it’s your work email address, then where you work. Also, many times we have one common email address that we use for everything, such as Facebook, etc. In this case if someone was to Google your email address they may find out more than you want them to know. 4) When calling someone there are a couple of issues. One is you might not want to give out your phone number or make it visible to the person you are calling. The second is, someone may not answer if it’s an unknown number. There are a couple of things you can do. On your phone you can usually go to call settings and “hide” your phone number. Or you could go get a Google email account and then setup a Google voice account. Google will give you one free number in your area and allow calls to be made to it, or allow you to make calls from your phone through it. And Google voice also allows all calls to be screened, so someone will have to announce themselves first, you will then be called and given their announcement, and then you can choose to answer it or reject it. But just realize that you only get one free number with a Gmail account. You can find out how to work the features when you setup the account. 5) If you think you want to text the person and you have Google voice, Google also provides texting through that same account. So as far as anyone knows, it’s a cell phone. 6) It’s all common sense. If you post pictures of your car, the front of your home, on your boat with the name plastered on the side, then after communicating with someone, they may be able to find you. 7) And if you decide to go on a date with someone, go somewhere you don’t usually go. The last thing you want is the date doesn’t work out and then the other person starts hanging out at the place you like to frequent. 8) And posting pictures of your kids isn’t a good idea either. With or without you in the picture. You don’t know who you are going to run into on these sites, and something like this may give someone incentive to want to get to know you even more and for the wrong reason. 9) Remember that your profile is about you as a person. It shouldn’t be about what you have. If someone wants to meet you, then let it be about you as a person, what you like, and what you are looking for. Then eventually when you get to know them and are comfortable, you can introduce them to your family and fill them in on other details in your life. I hope that someone finds this useful and good luck on your venture! Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
1/21/2013 10:40:17 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
anja_lou514 Kissimmee, FL 41, joined May. 2011	I would add, don't post the same pics here as you would elsewhere. People can do a search of the image and find you on other sites, including facebook.
1/25/2013 11:58:03 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
dlb17708 Jupiter, FL 55, joined Nov. 2012	Thank you Anja for your comment. It's true that people can also find your pictures. I also want to that all of those that messaged me personally. If there is anyway I can help someone, please don't help to contact me. But please remember that this is just common sense, and I'm not an expert and I'm on here just like you are. Have a great weekend.
1/26/2013 12:14:23 AM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
dlb17708 Jupiter, FL 55, joined Nov. 2012	I will add this. You should feel good about yourself and where you are in life. Since I'm a man and only really see the women profiles, I can only comment on what I see. Not just on this site but other sites I see women put their age as younger and I've seen the same pictures since I've been back that were here 2 years ago. Really? If do you want someone for who you are now, or who you were then? This isn't meant to put anyone down, but just to help. Be yourself, and if someone is attracted to you or your profile, then that is an awesome thing. Let whoever is out there, accept you for who you are. I can't speak for other men, but what you see and read is what you get. And I feel that if you don't like my profile then you wont contact me. And if you do you will. I read all the time about how women want and honest man. And a man wants and honest women. I guess the real question is, can everyone on here be honest with themselves? I will apologize in advance if I insulted or hurt anyones feelings, but I hope that helps those that have an open mind and want to be real and enter into an honest and open relationship. Good luck to all!
1/26/2013 3:01:20 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
anja_lou514 Kissimmee, FL 41, joined May. 2011	My PB account is also set up under my profile name and my FB is set to where I can be difficult to find. I have young children to protect and I'm really only here for the forums and friends I've made. There are only a few that have my number and even less that knows my last name.
1/26/2013 3:09:05 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
dlb17708 Jupiter, FL 55, joined Nov. 2012	That's good. Sounds like you've done a good job protecting yourself. There are so many people I've seen use their real names for their profile name.
1/28/2013 7:19:47 AM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
tampa_bob Tampa, FL 59, joined Jun. 2009	If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me that something was just a tiny bit off regarding a man she has met via online dating then I would have a lot of nickles. That thing called intuition (or a gut feeling in men)exists for a reason and often times something seemingly insignificant that doesn't add up comes into play later when all the pieces of the puzzle come together. Don't ignore it. The email thing is a biggie, everyone should have at least two accounts. One for family and friends and another for everything else. I have several. One for this online dating stuff. One for technical crap (newsletters, signing onto website to download whatever and other miscellaneous needs) and One for political blogging (which I seldom do any more). I even created one a few years ago when I was looking to move out of state to use for the job hunt.
1/28/2013 7:15:44 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
summer012469 Grand Island, FL 47, joined Dec. 2011	I'm not trying to make light of the information, but saw this and it reminded me of the thread and made me laugh!
1/28/2013 8:37:34 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
dlb17708 Jupiter, FL 55, joined Nov. 2012	Bob, the things you say about intuition are true. But I can also tell you that it's just as easy to happen meeting someone in person and not on here. People can tell you whatever they want about who they are, but in the long run it's there actions that really speak. Summer, I like your picture. It says a lot. It's just like all those late night numbers they advertise on TV that you can call and expect to talk to a beautiful women or handsome guy on the phone and it's someone in their underwear pigging out. As long as they have a great voice, I guess they can fool anyone. Someone I used to date had a favorite saying "the deception of perception". And believe me, she was really good at it.
1/29/2013 7:13:24 PM	Common Sense to keeping yourself safe on dating sites.
summer012469 Grand Island, FL 47, joined Dec. 2011	Quote from dlb17708: Summer, I like your picture. It says a lot. Geez... I'm having a Goldilocks syndrome with my pictures. My others are too big, this one is too small. Need to figure out how to get them "just right".

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