| 4/2/2013 9:27:20 AM |
Like to know smothing? |
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sfunmom
Lilburn, GA
50, joined Oct. 2011
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I have been asking my self this question why do people cheat when they are married ? Does it make them feel more like a man or a women to do that to someone that cares for them and trusted them?
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| 4/2/2013 2:57:44 PM |
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zedd1981
Concord, NC
36, joined Mar. 2013
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I really think it's either because they think they can get away with it, they think with the wrong part of their bodies, and on top of all that, they forego their marriage because of growing apart.
The saying is true, the family that eats, sleeps, and prays together, stays together. It's because when a man helps his wife with the chores, she knows he's only doing so to help her. When a woman comes out of the nice cool house in the heat to bring her man some tea while he's doing yard work, we know it sure isn't be aide you like to sweat.. It's because of us. That's why even if your tea really sucks, we will drink it anyway!! And all that, brings couples together. It makes a group of people, a family. It's what I failed to do in my marriage and why it ended. But that's not for lack of trying, I took a job knowing it would keep me from home. Now... Ill never make that mistake again. You live, and you learn. Then you get back up and do what you can to be better!
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| 4/2/2013 3:47:45 PM |
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bier95
Clara City, MN
66, joined May. 2011
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This is not true. I know several people {male & female) that are in church every Wed. night and Sunday Morning and cheat all the time. If one is going to cheat it has nothing to do with family or praying together, IT IS THE PERSON themselves no one else.
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| 4/2/2013 5:16:46 PM |
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zedd1981
Concord, NC
36, joined Mar. 2013
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Guessing you failed to get my drift
It's not the act of eating together, praying together, or even the doing Everything together that's important. It's the bonding the family does while doing all those things! So yea, one can be a douche and pretend to give a f**k and don't, they can pretend to go to church and not really listen or care.
But when one does care, when one does listen to their wives/ husbands/ family, then they all grow closer. Then they both learn and become ONE.
You only get in a relationship what you put into it! Half a** anything and don't complain when it blows up in your face!
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| 4/2/2013 5:19:15 PM |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
53, joined Mar. 2009
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It is b/c something is missing within the one who cheats. They feel as if they are not being heard, respected, loved, etc. Instead of going to their partner and trying to fix things they look for what is missing with someone else, which compounds the problem to the Nth degree.
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| 4/2/2013 6:12:04 PM |
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hornett22
Knoxville, TN
48, joined Sep. 2012
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Very simple.
They're selfish.
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| 4/2/2013 7:25:10 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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It is b/c something is missing within the one who cheats. They feel as if they are not being heard, respected, loved, etc. Instead of going to their partner and trying to fix things they look for what is missing with someone else, which compounds the problem to the Nth degree.
Cheating is never acceptable. However, there are two sides to every story. Both sides usually have blame though the one cheated on usually denies this.
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| 4/2/2013 7:30:10 PM |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
53, joined Mar. 2009
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Cheating is never acceptable. However, there are two sides to every story. Both sides usually have blame though the one cheated on usually denies this.
Like you said. Cheating is never acceptable and the blame lies solely in the one who CHOSE to cheat. S/he could have just as easily left the relationship and then found someone else. The other person NEVER forces anyone to cheat. It's a choice.
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| 4/2/2013 7:34:42 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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Like you said. Cheating is never acceptable and the blame lies solely in the one who CHOSE to cheat. S/he could have just as easily left the relationship and then found someone else. The other person NEVER forces anyone to cheat. It's a choice.
I'm not condoning cheating: ever. But a marriage doesn't usually get in trouble because of one party.
Action causes reaction causing reaction, etc.
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| 4/2/2013 7:40:03 PM |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
53, joined Mar. 2009
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I'm not condoning cheating: ever. But a marriage doesn't usually get in trouble because of one party.
Action causes reaction causing reaction, etc.
The reason for the trouble is irrelevant. Either fix it or leave it before cheating.
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| 4/2/2013 7:52:00 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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Total agreement with you.
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| 4/3/2013 12:15:56 AM |
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sfunmom
Lilburn, GA
50, joined Oct. 2011
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I gave up everything for him and my two kids.i move to a new state for him .i worked 40 hours a week cleaned the hose,did yard work and took care of the kids . Why he worked when're out to be with friends. He could not take me out one night a mouth just him and I. He still see the women who brok up our marriage and she is still married.i that's why I asked.so it comes down to people being selfish. Thanks guys.
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| 4/3/2013 2:02:07 PM |
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luckylibragal
Mesa, AZ
50, joined Oct. 2011
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Because they're not getting what they need emotionally or physically in the marriage.
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| 4/3/2013 8:29:29 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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There are some men who seem to have cheating in their genes. They seem to be hopeless. On the other hand I've known a few who were terrific fathers and husbands yet they ended up having an affair. These types of men make me wonder what things were really like at home. Affairs are never right until you have been in a marriage for 25 years with someone who has no interest in you: dying romantically and sexually. I don't condone it but I'm not so quick to throw rocks either. There are, usually, two stories in any divorce.
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| 4/3/2013 10:54:39 PM |
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sfunmom
Lilburn, GA
50, joined Oct. 2011
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His family does have a history of cheating most people in his family that has been married has had in between 2-4. They do not know how to show any feelings. I just pray that my kids did not get his geans .
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| 4/6/2013 1:08:04 PM |
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pickygirl72
Picher, OK
47, joined Sep. 2011
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Its takes both parties to ruin a marriage, whether one cheats and the other one doesn't. So something was wrong in the marriage to lead someone to cheat.
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| 4/6/2013 3:11:03 PM |
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1hotnanlkn4u2
Birmingham, AL
47, joined Jan. 2013
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That's not true in all situations. I truly worshiped an thanked him everyday for being in our life an choosing to be a father to our children. He got Everything an then some at home. Sex at any time, always telling him ho w nice he looked ,i always did for him what i was seek ing from him. I spoiled him an gave an did everything for him. After 18 years of a good marriage some people just cheat because they are a piece of shit! There is temptation out there everyday, but if they are truly happy an devoted they come home where the love is. They all think the grass is greener on the other side, but pretty green grass only grows over septic tanks, an then are all full of shit. Most people cheat because someone comes along an gives you the compliments an flatter you from what you want t our spouse to do. Everyone gets in a rut an takes it for granted. Even then sometimes it just isn't enough. It takes slot of work to keep a marriage together an fresh. Some are worth fighter for others are better off walking away. Both decisions hurt like hell. Its the starting over an security of it that's usually scary an hurts the worst. I
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| 4/6/2013 6:13:58 PM |
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zedd1981
Concord, NC
36, joined Mar. 2013
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^ very good post!
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| 4/7/2013 3:52:53 AM |
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63sardonicpeeps
Lodi, CA
53, joined Feb. 2013
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Never mind. See both of you ladies. It all fell apart anyway... couldn't fix it. 
Taking last choice ...giving him what he wants and letting go.
[Edited 4/7/2013 3:54:53 AM ]
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| 4/8/2013 8:51:38 PM |
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trailerparkmark
Boone, IA
61, joined Jan. 2012
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Very simple.
They're selfish.
they just don't give a shit for whatever reason
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| 4/16/2013 12:24:09 PM |
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tcretiredhippie
Durand, WI
59, joined Apr. 2012
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Because we like shiny things on the other side of the fence. That and lack of control.
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| 4/30/2013 8:37:00 PM |
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legaleye
Columbus, OH
65, joined Mar. 2008
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Lots of good answers, but the key is that it takes two to tango and then someone decides its better to find what they need elsewhere than within the marriage. Quite often it is much easier to find that missing piece outside the marriage and work through the issues with a spouse and attempt to strengthen the relationship. But, at least to me, if you are married and it doesnt or wont work out, end the relationship and go on from there, whatever that entails.
Lots of generalizations. Some people, men and women, just arent prone to monogamy. The idea of a monogamous marriage means nothing to them. For the most part though, there is that something missing and then he/she goes somewhere else to find it. Sometimes its a truly important issue, sometimes you just think it is. It is interesting but I was accused of cheating all the time by her, but it was a ploy to deflect her cheating. Never stepped out on her until after the divorce was filed and separation had occurred. Just wasnt going there.
And yes, it takes two to tango. I was never around.... yep, I worked a lot. She had needs, yep... and some I could meet and some I couldnt. She had underlying issues that affected the marriage, I am sure I had my share. But it was all solveable with communication and compromise, but by this time she wasnt interested. She actually wanted to stay married, have the benefits of house and income, and keep the boyfriend. Come on. Dream on.
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| 4/30/2013 11:49:44 PM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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why does this word SMOTHING seem, to me, like a word a multiple profiler would use in various threads under different screen names? oh .... because thy are a FAKE!
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| 4/30/2013 11:50:25 PM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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want proof ,... go to the sarch funtion and type in "smothing" .....
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| 5/1/2013 8:51:01 AM |
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stargazzer
Creighton, NE
69, joined Feb. 2007
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A lack of morles & a strong feeling of entitlement, simple as that.
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| 5/4/2013 6:58:29 PM |
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ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
51, joined Jan. 2012
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People cheat because they are selfish and only care about themselves and lack respect for who they are in a relationship with.
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