| 5/19/2013 7:34:47 AM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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woodyc62
Whittier, NC
55, joined Jan. 2013
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It does feel good to come and go as you please without having to worry about how another person will respond to your actions. Do not feel guilty when you discover you like the freedom of being single. There is relief in discovering that one person can live for less than two and not having to get a second opinion about what to buy and how much to pay for it feels liberating. These are normal and healthy feelings and now life has provided you with a cautious wisdom against surrendering to some one who does not deserve you.
At this stage of my journey I've believe coming to terms with our grief in this way does not mean we will ever forget our loved one. We will always have that person with us forever and a part of us will always remain connected to that person. Now at this we continue our journey there is still much more to do with the rest of our life. Take hope in knowing that the lessons of loss has given us a fuller understanding of the meaning of life. Embrace The Blessings Of The New Day!
Take Care! Keep Smiling! God Bless!
[Edited 5/19/2013 7:37:36 AM ]
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| 5/19/2013 10:39:51 AM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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peppermint12
Maryville, TN
70, joined Jul. 2008
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You've learned a valuable lesson. You create a new normal for yourself and it can be whatever you want it to be.
My mother had an aunt and uncle who were married for 68 years when Aunt Sarah passed away. My mother would call Uncle John every few days to check on him. They lived in a senior citizen complex so there were plenty of widows who saw that Uncle John had enough casseroles to keep him fed. He was in the habit of taking a nap every afternoon but Aunt Sarah would always tell him to pull down the bedspread on the bed because it was for looks, not sleeping on. When my mother called one day to check on him, he told her he had just gotten up from his nap and he didn't pull the bedspread down and it felt good. He created his new normal and lived to be 95 yrs old.
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| 5/19/2013 11:39:09 AM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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sunnydee7777
Clermont, FL
67, joined Aug. 2011
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nice posts...Woody and Peppermint 
It is nice to come and go as one pleases. With that being said, my normal was coming and going as I pleased, even while I was married.
We were married 28 yrs but because we trusted and respected each other, all I would say is I am going to so and so. He would say ok, just be careful. I would do the same to him. Not to say we didn't do things together, we did. It was just a mutual thing that although we loved each other tremendously, we were not joined at the hip.
We just didn't have to account for every waking moment, while we were doing things separately. We would always give each other a timeframe.
That is what trust, love, respect and faithfulness is. Not one time did we ever distrust one another or doubt the vows of our marriage.
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| 5/19/2013 5:18:49 PM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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woodyc62
Whittier, NC
55, joined Jan. 2013
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Thanks peppermint and sunnydee for sharing.
My 28 year marriage was one of trust, love, respect and faithfulness. Our faith and prayer in our relationship help us honor one another through the years. I was gone long periods because of my career and she worked long hours. Honoring our vow's and enjoying every moment we were together made up for the time separated then be blessed with our daughter forged the bond even stronger between us.
I continue to hold strong to my faith as I continue on my journey. I am sometime short of courage and patience but both may be required to wait on the Lord. I have found waiting has been worth it. I remember how refreshing the love of Christ was when I first came to know Him as my Lord and Savior. With the passing of time I've let the cares of life and the burdens of the day diminished my awareness of His love. I've renewed my vow to keep myself in Christ’s love by intentionally, devotionally, seeking fellowship with Him, heeding His Word and obeying him.
Take Care! God Bless!
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| 5/19/2013 5:44:52 PM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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peppermint12
Maryville, TN
70, joined Jul. 2008
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My marriage was very similar but as his condition worsened, I found myself hurrying to get home after work and if I went shopping on the weekends, I would do it as quickly as possible. It took me weeks after his death to realize I didn't have to run to the bus stop to catch the first bus home. I could take my time and catch the next bus or even stop and have dinner on my way if I wanted to. Those were luxuries to me for a long time. Things like this are why I've always referred to life as my new normal.
It's freeing to be able to do things when I want but I miss having someone to share the experiences with.
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| 5/19/2013 5:52:43 PM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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The first lesson to learn is that things are not the same as they were.
The second lesson is to learn that you have a clean slate upon which to live your life.
The third lesson is to learn to put all that you have learned which was positive for you into rebuilding your new life.
The fourth lesson is to learn to do what is best for you.
Good luck.
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| 5/19/2013 6:08:07 PM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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woodyc62
Whittier, NC
55, joined Jan. 2013
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I know what you mean peppermint. I never went anywhere with out telling her where I was going and when I would be back. I was fortunate to have family help. My wife's twin sister and my younger brother help me once the time came and my wife didn't want anyone but me caring for her. The last three months we only left the house for treatments and doctors visits.
I think the hardest thing for me was returning home, seeing her car parked on the carport and expecting her to be inside. It does seem freeing at times to come and go as I please but I do have an emptiness and void. My broken hearts mends as I learn how to continue on living as she wanted me to.
Take Care!!
[Edited 5/19/2013 6:09:18 PM ]
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| 5/20/2013 4:58:47 AM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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woodyc62
Whittier, NC
55, joined Jan. 2013
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The first lesson to learn is that things are not the same as they were.
The second lesson is to learn that you have a clean slate upon which to live your life.
The third lesson is to learn to put all that you have learned which was positive for you into rebuilding your new life.
The fourth lesson is to learn to do what is best for you.
Good luck.
Thanks cupocheer
All Good Lessons we face on the journey of life.
Have a Great Day
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| 5/22/2013 8:52:13 PM |
Learning To Live Again! |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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