Baby Diapers

Ever thought of just why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs," "Huggies," and "Pampers while undergarments for old people are called "Depends."

Well, here is the low down on the whole thing:

- When babies go in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em,
Hug'em and Pamper' em.

- When old people go in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will.

Glad I got that straightened out so you can put your mind at rest.

This is allegedly based on a true story.

Mr Arnold, a businessman from Tulsa, Oklahoma, went on a business trip to Amarillo, Texas. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Paula. Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. P. Arnold in Rapid City, South Dakota, the wife of a preacher who had just died. The preacher's wife, Penny, took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.

When she was finally revived by her daughter, Penny hysterically pointed to the message, which read, 'Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.'

Watedues 20 , in the "Fling" Advertisment , bet they're silly putty .

Do I dare ask what you are talking about?

I got slapped up side of my head for holding up one middle finger to indicate my bladder was full & needed emptying .

I am after Wilber next Newlady--you laid the bait and he kept saying he would ride his bike across the mountain---A ""PIGSKIN"' can't snuggle and say sweet nothings in his ear...HEAR ME WILBER???

............ For Lords sake, don't give Ante any ideas.

This is not really a joke. It is about an old man that died in a Nursing home. They found this in his possessions.


CRANKY OLD MAN

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!


Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... We will all, one day, be there, too!

......I'VE got one in mind.

Ole man Clifton and Wilber---
Women are like clocks---
wine us up and we can talk all day--

Well, you ole bird--tonight I might get blown to Kansas and you won't have me to push around ""No More""----

Well, you ole bird--tonight I might get blown to Kansas and you won't have me to push around ""No More""----

While yer on a kick about Kansas tornados , etc,;my home town of Topeka is trying to pass legislation of a bill , allowing teachers to spank kids being unruly in schools.wasn't the Wicked Witch a school teacher in the Wizard of Oz?