Love is not hard work if it was meant to be... Ppl make shit hard when it really isn't... It's not hard to feed, f**k, and make a man know that he is the man... That's just me... In my cause just treat me like a lady, and f**k me on the daily... And make sure you don't wear my jerseys and c*ck block me from my sports... I promise to screw you during half time...

Grn- My Army brother...not contradicting you or disagreeing You are certainly correct in a sense.

However I read the Brokaw book "The Greatest Generation" and he addresses specifically the idea that these couples "stayed together". I thought it was insightful (and interesting) which is why I remembereed it. Plus economics interest me (some academic background there).

In the olden days (pre broad employment/education for women) they "had to" make up {and of course not always equitably}. Women had to stay for money/support/social pressure etc. Men stayed becuase everyone else was "taken" becuase people stayed-even in crappy abusive, cheating relationships.

It was more common to have "cheaters" or even swinging (of course they didn't call it that) than to have two couples divorce and swap partners.

There is a tipping point once the divorces started when others were more "free" to get divorced because replacement partners would be more broadly available.

most definitely a lot of that happened. What I was referring to was our generation mostly. Look at a lot of womens' profiles that are our age. A lot of them were married young and hung in there for 20+ years to their relationships for one reason or the other, then once the 90's and 2000's hit, Bam, they're divorced. Divorce is profitable for women, and now that they are making as much if not more money than a lot of guys, men are being replaced. Single mom's is the new norm and it comes with a merit badge for women to raise their ids alone, so they think, even though it's the children that suffer with a fatherless household. Relationships were "work" back then. Kids messing up got their asses whooped and for good reason. You didn't see school massacres when we were growing up because kids had respect for their elders and their parents for the most part.

I do agree with no relationship should be "Hard" work. If you have to put extreme amounts of effort into saving a relationship, then it probably isn't worth it. I tried for 3 years to save my marriage while my wife was in full blown narcotics addiction. It finally became too much and had to call it quits, leaving me with tons of regret.

Hard work in a relationship is specific to one's own ideals.

Some people may view the hard work they put into a relationship, regardless of the amount, as being effortless because they are so genuinely pleased to do it. However, that doesn't lessen the burden itself.

Conversely, there are those who view compromise as hard work. Sometimes the other party wants your time or your energy to go toward things you would rather not do. You wouldn't be using any more time and energy than you would by doing the things which you'd be doing otherwise. This is just compromise and that's how healthy relationships stay healthy. You please each other and you don't mind doing it. When you DO mind making a compromise, you sometimes unfairly label it as work.

Therefore, in my opinion, it is inaccurate to say a relationship should or shouldn't require hard work. A good relationship should take whatever it needs to be satisfying for both parties. It has more to do with the chaacter of the of the individuals than any generalization of hard work.

What you are describing to me are issues faced by everyone but not exclusive to maintaining the relationship. They are simply coping with every day life. Although they may cause you stress, it doesn't directly impact the relationship. At least, that's how I see it.

Yes there is a limit, but if the other person is committed to making it work, I know I will in turn work my a** off to make it work. It takes two and a person, no matter how nice, if they are lazy in a relationship then it all falls on me to do all the work (not just the physical and logistic work, but the communications and emotional work), and I'd rather be alone.

Nothing worth having comes easy.

I'd have a hard time dealing with you.