| 1/29/2014 6:48:52 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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For all those who are saying a relationship takes work, maybe YOURS did. But some of us have been in relationships where things are just so compatible, that it doesn't require any effort. It's like that first date night over and over.
Granted, that's not an easy thing to find though.
Obviously things were not so very compatible as you are no longer in any of these "effortless" relationships.
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| 1/29/2014 6:50:47 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I'm with you sinisterpoem.
I had a wonderful marriage for 20 years which to me was effortless. Every day was like our honeymoon. Sometimes, it simply works out.
Every relationship where I felt like I had to work for it, never seemed to work out.
Same here vallamaldoran...
My marriage ended when she passed away in 2004. Otherwise, I obviously wouldn't be here.
[Edited 1/29/2014 6:52:17 PM ]
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| 1/29/2014 6:53:25 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lovessmart
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013
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Quote from rescueranger245:
Would you consider a labor of love the same as working hard ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, but working hard is not a dirty word to me. I expect it and I find it worth it in real give and take relationship, because I enjoy sharing my life experiences and sharing in his life experiences. It's not for everyone in every part of their lives. For me a labor of love is happily given, but often requires a lot of work and responsibility and sacrifice. Most things worthwhile do.
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| 1/29/2014 6:57:18 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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As I've already explained in this thread, one ex died, another left for college, and another wasn't in it for the long run (and we both knew this from the start). But thanks for making assumptions. 
With the exception of death they still ended so my point still stands. You could of followed your girlfriend to school and started a life there. Many do. As for the other one not in it for the long run Lol well it certainly was a relationship without effort. It was so effortless that she could of cared less about you and bailed. 
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| 1/29/2014 6:58:08 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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Some relationships end WITHOUT a break up...
That makes no sense. Whether the break up was a screaming match or a polite good bye in which you wish each other well it's still a breakup.
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| 1/29/2014 7:06:19 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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I could have, but no girl is worth that when there are other, just as amazing girls in the area. Same as there are just as amazing guys in whatever new area she went to. We respected each other enough to let go, and we were both fine with it. Regardless of the fact that it ended, it was still an amazing relationship that was effortless, so no, your point doesn't stand lol.
Do I have to live with someone and then die with them before you admit that you're wrong?
You had long term fk buddies who expected nothing of you and you of them. You did not have relationships as proved by you saying, "no girl is worth that when there are other,just as amazing girls in the area". Sure things are effortless when there is no actual commitment or love for the other person. Neither of you really cares if they other person leaves or not so why put in the effort to make it work,and yes any ended relationship is a failure. I've failed,you've failed,we've all failed. 
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| 1/29/2014 7:41:23 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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alls_fair
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
96, joined May. 2011
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I gather we are divided about 50% for work and 50% for relative ease...
I can't cast the deciding vote. All the folks that I know of that had long lasting marriages showed signs and indicators of investing work...not all the time though!!!
I am a little skeptical about a relationship being a "well oiled machine" though. They require oil changes, air filters, plugs, points, replacement parts and a lot of damned cussing if it breaks down right when you need it most...
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| 1/29/2014 7:48:19 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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bigbear_is_back
Chandler, AZ
52, joined Feb. 2013
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Yes
it is like work , because it takes 2 people to work at making a relationship last ...
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| 1/29/2014 9:12:36 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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bobbie3411
Tampa, FL
46, joined Jul. 2013
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Sorry Sinister......that is just to much to read.........
but I think both parties need to put in the effort or its not gonna work regardless if it requires work or not.....
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| 1/29/2014 9:16:47 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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peachy1954
Sacramento, CA
61, joined Oct. 2010
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For all of u saying a relationship is supposed to be easy....please explain how thats workin out for u....ur on the same dating site as the rest of us. 
Well that kind of surmises we are single by choice. Some spouses die.
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| 1/29/2014 9:56:22 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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peachy1954
Sacramento, CA
61, joined Oct. 2010
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Now, I went on a first date two weekends ago with a gal who more clearly illustrates my idea of hard work in a relationship. She had a bum leg from an accident a couple years ago and a lawsuit still pending. She has a 13 y/o son. She is unemployed and currently living with her elderly parents, and the mother is ill. She has a mild form of MS.
I knew absolutely none of this before making the date. All I knew is that she seemed sweet and attractive. A serious relationship with this woman, all things considered, was going to require hard work, or at least that was my perception. That kind of hard work I'm not up for. I didn't call her again. However, wooing a woman and compromise, well I'm pretty darn flexible there.
I guess it is a mater of perspective. My late husband would have seen that a lot differently. He would have liked sweet and attractive. He would not have noticed the bum leg since he wasn't a great dancer and he would have preferred a gal who's idea was a slow snuggle on the dance floor. A paratrooper his knees were not great either. The lawsuit he would be disinterested in after referring her to his Uncle to make sure she was fairly represented and his broker so she could set up a college fund for the 13 year old for what would most likely be a major settlement. He would think the 13 year old was great because he was not into crying babies and diapers since he had no kids of his own and really did not mind the idea of and instant family. He would see the close family relationship as a good omen and would probably bring a nice teenager in to babysit and help the grandma for the afternoon so he was well appreciated from the beginning. He would care less if she was employed because he took great pride in providing for his family. He would be relived she didn't have a second house for him to pay taxes on or try to sell in a depressed market when his career moved him. The mild MS would not scare him because his Aunt had it as do millions of Americans and he had been involved in society fund raisers for years. Made tons of friends that way. In his case introduced him to me in a VERY similar situation. We were deleriously happy if what he told his friends and family was any indication .
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| 1/29/2014 9:58:13 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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diana29615
Greenville, SC
46, joined Jan. 2014
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that's old school ranger. People nowadays throw out relationships at the blink of an eye. In the olden days, we fixed problems then had make up sex.
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| 1/29/2014 10:08:09 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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peachy1954
Sacramento, CA
61, joined Oct. 2010
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Anything worth having is worth working for
This concept I would agree with.
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| 1/29/2014 10:10:09 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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But, the question is...Should it require HARD work?
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| 1/29/2014 10:13:52 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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alls_fair
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
96, joined May. 2011
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from rescueranger245:But, the question is...Should it require HARD work?
==========================================================================================
She wants to talk feelings...
You want a sammich and some peace and quiet...
You decide??!
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| 1/29/2014 10:19:26 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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monycanas
Saint Charles, MO
22, joined Jun. 2013
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I'm gonna say this is true...
Relationships should come natural and stress free.
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| 1/29/2014 10:21:28 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I agree. If you have to work hard at a relationship...There's something wrong with it.
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| 1/29/2014 10:46:25 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lovessmart
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013
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Quote from rescueranger245: I agree. If you have to work hard at a relationship...There's something wrong with it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can see your convinced that in your one relationship that was so easy, no work was required. That only tells me that your responsibility and commitment to each other was so strong it didn't seem like work. That happens, but unfortunately not enough anymore. I think it might be that people in general have been too exposed to an overly narcissistic culture.
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| 1/29/2014 11:59:23 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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immortalpsyche
Jacksonville, FL
23, joined Aug. 2013
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True because it just kinds of all fits, sure there are good times and bad times but its how you muddle through them together, a joint effort with as little drama as possible that really makes things work. It shouldn't feel like it hard work to be around someone, it should be just like they belong there... like an extra arm or something that your used to lol
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| 1/30/2014 12:21:00 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
51, joined Jun. 2012
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Honestly ?
I don't think I could do the "well oiled" machine thing for long.........
I need a lil friction from time to time.......... 
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| 1/30/2014 12:35:19 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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But, the question is...Should it require HARD work?
It depends what your definition of hard work is. To many people just communicating with your partner on a daily basis is hard work. Putting them on their list of priorities is hard work. Spending time with them is hard work for some people.
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| 1/30/2014 12:39:07 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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linezha
Winnie, TX
31, joined Sep. 2011
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A good relationship may not require hard work, but hard work is required for a good relationship.
[Edited 1/30/2014 12:39:22 AM ]
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| 1/30/2014 1:08:27 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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ladyeden
Waynesville, MO
55, joined Apr. 2008
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IMO the "perception" of being hard work pretty much depends not only on basic compatibility but also how the relationship is approached and viewed by those involved.
When you are young and fresh the focus of both was more easily on the "we" as a couple and/or on the other person, trusting this to be reciprocated. Sacrifices, accommodations and compromises (willingness to freely gift the other simply because you desire them to be happy) needed to support a relationship weren't so "hard" with that mindset. When jaded and uber concerned with protecting oneself it becomes "harder" to surrender the "ME" for the good of the "We". With hurt, betrayal and disappointment scars built up, the ability to engage with that mutual focus and trust becomes more difficult to muster up.
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| 1/30/2014 1:10:07 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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ltlwing
Winchester, OH
52, joined Oct. 2013
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A good relationship may not require hard work, but hard work is required for a good relationship.
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| 1/30/2014 4:14:02 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
60, joined Apr. 2011
online now!
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Sure it does....there are times even in the best relations....things come along and test it....or a sudden problem comes up.
That doesn't mean its always that way.....but if its a good relation, the it is on going...and just like life itself, there will be those times when things go smooth, and when they don't.
Some good relations that fail and might have worked out, if in those times, they had worked harder to keep it afloat.
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| 1/30/2014 7:36:37 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Sure it does....there are times even in the best relations....things come along and test it....or a sudden problem comes up.
That doesn't mean its always that way.....but if its a good relation, the it is on going...and just like life itself, there will be those times when things go smooth, and when they don't.
Some good relations that fail and might have worked out, if in those times, they had worked harder to keep it afloat.
Things come up that test it?
Such as?
Perhaps, we're looking at this from different angles. My thought is...If there are things that come along to "Test" the relationship, there could be an underlying problem that is creating the conflict. Could it be there is a trust issue causing these conflicts? Are they constantly "Rubbing" you the wrong way?
If the relationship is a good one, trust, honesty, compassion, etc., wouldn't be an issue.
If we are speaking of daily stresses such as work, paying the bills, health issues, or deciding what you want for dinner...These have little to do with the relationship itself. These issues would be there if you are in a relationship or not.
If we're speaking of her ex-boyfriend contacting her, for example...If she loves you and respects the relationship, she would simply tell him that she's in a relationship and happy, and not to contact her again.
If not, then you have bigger problems in your relationship and you couldn't classify it as a "Good" relationship.
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| 1/30/2014 7:42:33 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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horangimc
Morristown, TN
53, joined Jan. 2013
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Seems to me that the work isn't as important as how you feel about doing it and the person you're doing it for.
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| 1/30/2014 7:47:02 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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tasty_taters
Springfield, IL
36, joined Jan. 2014
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the answer is False
All good thing are not only worth their wait/weight in gold but they don't come easy
and that is my final answer..
but with that said, it shouldn't be hard work to get along with them
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| 1/30/2014 9:00:41 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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jrupp0604
Stoughton, MA
66, joined May. 2011
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A relationship is a give and take thing between two people. It will not work if only one person is trying 
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| 1/30/2014 9:07:52 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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mrld_ii
Stockton, CA
55, joined May. 2011
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But, the question is...Should it require HARD work?
Thank you for pointing that out. I thought I'd read something that wasn't there.
It seems many are being chastised for NOT being willing to put HARD work into a relationship to ensure it lasts, no matter what. Personally, I never said there's not work involved and/or that it doesn't require effort, but it shouldn't be HARD work.
Also, as others have said, when you're where you WANT to be, the things you *have to* do to keep things going, suddenly doesn't seem like "work" nor are they difficult, at all.
So flip it around: to all of you who are chastising us who responded it shouldn't require hard work:
how's YOUR "hard work" working for YOU? You, too, appear to be on this same site, with us.
Don't tell me, let me guess: you DID work hard hard...it was all the other person's fault, because they wouldn't...
...right?
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| 1/30/2014 9:31:23 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I agree mrld. I have found that every relationship I've ever been is that didn't work out involved a lot of hard work, trying to keep it together. And they all eventually failed.
Yes, it's true that I have only had one relationship that didn't require hard work. It is the one that lasted 20 years and ended only upon her death.
During this time, did I work hard? YES! I worked hard at my job to provide for us. During the years of her sickness, did I work hard to take care of her...YES!
My point is...I didn't have to work hard at all to maintain the relationship. Caring for my wife wasn't work to me. It was simply an act of love. Something I'm certain she would have done, had the roles been reversed.
Loving someone should be easy. It should be uncomplicated. It should be effortless. It should be something that you look forward to each and every moment. I could have spent every hour of every day with her and enjoyed every second of it. THAT is what love is.
I'm sure many of you have never been in this type of loving relationship. I wish you had. You would understand that love involves so much more than having someone to come home to. Someone who is more than the mother/father of your children. Someone who isn't there simply for sex. They aren't there to be your sandwich maker, to clean your house, raise your kids. They are someone you are to cherish, to love, respect and be completely devoted to.
People don't seem to understand this concept anymore. As someone said earlier...Relationships are throw-aways now. When you get tired of it, you simply throw it away and look for another to take it's place. If that is your idea of not working hard, you'll most likely never live the "Fairy Tale" with someone special.
Will you disagree with your mate? Of course you will. Will you ever become frustrated or upset? Absolutely. It's HOW you deal with these obstacles that determine how much, or how hard you need to work on it. But, as I said earlier...It's never hard work...It's simply an act of love.
[Edited 1/30/2014 9:32:46 AM ]
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| 1/30/2014 10:38:21 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Thanks USB!
If everyone could say what's in their hearts more and less what's they think is what everyone wants to hear, I believe more people would find that everyone has so much more in common.
There would be a lot less drama here too!
But then...Who wants to hear real honesty around here?
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| 1/30/2014 10:46:12 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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alls_fair
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
96, joined May. 2011
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You don't think the death of a child constitutes testing a relationship???
You don't think forced separation for the purpose of economic survival constitutes testing a relationship???
Those two examples might not constitute hard physical labor...but I feel certain they require hard work!!!
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| 1/30/2014 10:59:50 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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You don't think the death of a child constitutes testing a relationship???
You don't think forced separation for the purpose of economic survival constitutes testing a relationship???
Those two examples might not constitute hard physical labor...but I feel certain they require hard work!!!
Morning the loss of a child is tragic and certainly hard on the parents. No one should have to bury their children. I never had to bury my child, just my wife.
I honestly don't know how this might strain a relationship. I would think it might actually bring them closer together...Unless one of them caused the death of the child.
Again, I don't understand how someone could be forced into a separation because of economic survival, unless you're referring to someone deployed or perhaps working in the oil fields away from home. Truck drivers are away from home a lot. But then...There are plenty of local truck driving opportunities he/she could find.
Yes, they do present unique challenges for a couple. However, I fail to understand the relation to the question...Does a good relationship REQUIRE HARD work?
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| 1/30/2014 11:02:04 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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alls_fair
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
96, joined May. 2011
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Your remarks about testing a relationship brought that on...
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| 1/30/2014 11:09:35 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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mr_ctr916
Roseville, CA
52, joined Aug. 2013
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I believe the Person who wants a relationship the most has to "pay" for it the most.
cute poon, please.
[Edited 1/30/2014 11:09:46 AM ]
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| 1/30/2014 11:27:04 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I'm with you on that Whale!
I love working in the kitchen together. It seems to make the time together, as well as the dinner, taste a little bit better!
Next time, be sure you know those boundaries before you move in together.
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| 1/30/2014 2:08:15 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lookin4him2012
Boone, NC
47, joined Jan. 2012
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It shouldn't be 100% easy either. If it's that easy then someone is lying in order to keep themselves looking perfect in front of the other person. Just sayin
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| 1/30/2014 4:25:32 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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So...Do you think there is somewhere in the middle as to working on the relationship vs. working "Hard" on the relationship?
Where would you draw this line?
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| 1/30/2014 4:59:04 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lovessmart
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013
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So...Do you think there is somewhere in the middle as to working on the relationship vs. working "Hard" on the relationship?
Where would you draw this line?
There are no guarantees that things will be easier or harder. So, I wouldn't draw a line. I would just be myself and have my core values and boundaries in place and let everything else roll off my back and see where it goes. I can make decisions along the way as to weather it's too hard or too easy. I think it's not easy to predict, so I don't waste time predicting a persons continual ease to be with. Life is still an adventure to me and predictability is not always as exciting to me.
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| 1/30/2014 5:14:00 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Sparks! 
I would normally ask if you're ready to come south and thaw out...But, it's just as cold and snowy here as it is there!
I'm ready to go to Disney World or take a cruise whenever you're ready!
I need to thaw out!
[Edited 1/30/2014 5:15:40 PM ]
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| 1/31/2014 10:38:22 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I love it when you bump me.
Someone once asked Johnny Carson, "Should you ever meet Morganna, the kissing bandit, How would you like to bump into her?"
His response, "Head on!"
[URL=http://media.photobucket.com/user/stymie1224/media/morganna.jpg.html] [/URL]
[Edited 1/31/2014 10:39:21 AM ]
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| 1/31/2014 10:43:24 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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| 1/31/2014 10:59:03 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lovessmart
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013
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I'm sure many of you have never been in this type of loving relationship. I wish you had. You would understand that love involves so much more than having someone to come home to. Someone who is more than the mother/father of your children. Someone who isn't there simply for sex. They aren't there to be your sandwich maker, to clean your house, raise your kids. They are someone you are to cherish, to love, respect and be completely devoted to.
People don't seem to understand this concept anymore. As someone said earlier...Relationships are throw-aways now. When you get tired of it, you simply throw it away and look for another to take it's place. If that is your idea of not working hard, you'll most likely never live the "Fairy Tale" with someone special.
I have had a 30 year relationship like you describe and I will again in the future. You and I disagree with semantics. When you have the level of commitment and love we both have experienced being with that person is easy. Even though you work hard on logistics, work hard to handle the unexpected bumps in the road, you know they have your back and you have theirs.
I think the difference a lot of people are discussing here is to have an open heart, enough to allow someone to be so completely committed to someone, is hard to come by, so they allow themselves to fall in love (be infatuated) with someone that is not ready or capable of that kind of commitment, and neither are they. Hence, it's hard work to get it on track if it ever does get on a solid track.
I do look back at the relationship and have taken a hard look to see if it was hard work. I realize it really was. I worked hard to work things out so he would always feel supported and that I was behind him. I trusted, and that was hard sometimes, I forgave when it was hard to forgive. These are all things that did not come naturally to him and he learned from me, except for the trusting. The trusting got him to hang in there to learn. There were so many things that were hard, but because we enjoyed each other company so much, I often would forget the hard stuff. We are still best friends, and he would do almost anything for me and me the same for him, so that we are both better people for having been in each other's lives.
[Edited 1/31/2014 11:01:02 AM ]
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| 1/31/2014 11:18:38 AM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I have to agree with you. We're agreeing on the very same things, yet we disagree where the boundaries of what is actually the relationship.
It is no work at all to love them, care about them and do whatever for them. The work comes from every day living. We struggle to maintain the life around us, but not when it comes to loving them. Any struggle to actually love them would be considered work, but that shouldn't happen unless there is an underlying factor that could hurt the relationship. Everyone will experience a few "bumps" in the road. It's whether or not you allow them to effect your relationship is what is important.
With everything said, you and I are essentially saying the same thing...Just looking at it from different angles.
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| 1/31/2014 12:50:34 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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tanzkity
Irving, TX
42, joined Aug. 2008
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A relationship like everything else in life takes work......my parents haven't been devoted and happily married because it was a cake walk....they chose everyday to be together and love each other by working together.....
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| 1/31/2014 5:00:27 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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lovessmart
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013
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A relationship like everything else in life takes work......my parents haven't been devoted and happily married because it was a cake walk....they chose everyday to be together and love each other by working together.....
'Choosing to love each other', seems to be the key. Once either in couple waiver in that choice, that's when it can all go wrong.
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| 1/31/2014 6:04:05 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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gamerman17
New York, NY
28, joined Apr. 2010
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A proper foundation needs to be set. If the relationship is based upon facades, misdirection, and vanity, it's bound to crumble. In that aspect, it make sure that it doesn't come to that, some degree of "work" like trust, communication, foundation of basic adoration and appreciation of that person you're willing to spend the rest of your life with is necessary. Doesn't have to be hard, depending on how well the personalities are entwined with each other.....gamer
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| 1/31/2014 6:35:11 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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halodude88
Santa Ana, CA
28, joined Nov. 2008
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I can't speak for everyone, but it's meant to be work if you are guy since we have to do the leading
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| 1/31/2014 7:56:55 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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angico82
Portland, TN
33, joined Dec. 2013
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My last relationship was one sided. I did all the work and I always asked what he wanted, but I had to make the plans, ask where we could go, communication between us, intimacy, etc, and I always made sure he was happy. It was so emotionally draining! I don't know why I put myself thru all that for a year, but I was so afraid of being alone I guess. Being alone is better than torturing yourself though.
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| 1/31/2014 8:02:48 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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e_llicit
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
44, joined Apr. 2012
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[Edited 1/31/2014 8:05:01 PM ]
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| 1/31/2014 8:06:42 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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halodude88
Santa Ana, CA
28, joined Nov. 2008
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Still it always is societally expected that the man lead the relationship, be the dominant one in the relationship, pisses me off
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| 1/31/2014 10:22:42 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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My last relationship was one sided. I did all the work and I always asked what he wanted, but I had to make the plans, ask where we could go, communication between us, intimacy, etc, and I always made sure he was happy. It was so emotionally draining! I don't know why I put myself thru all that for a year, but I was so afraid of being alone I guess. Being alone is better than torturing yourself though.
I understand what you're saying. You had to work so much harder, because you were the only one who wanted the relationship to work. That is what I have been saying...If you have to work hard at the relationship, there is something fundamentally wrong with it and most likely will fail. The one relationship that lasted for me was the one which was the easiest to maintain. It was only those which I had to work at that failed in the long run.
I believe, Easy is Best.
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| 1/31/2014 10:27:47 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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fun2bchattin
Hedgesville, WV
49, joined Feb. 2011
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Anything that good.....requires hard work. That being said, if it's right, nothing else matters.
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| 1/31/2014 10:31:02 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Do you think hard work equals high maintenance?
Is it the same thing?
What if there is a lot of drama in their life?
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| 1/31/2014 10:38:45 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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tanzkity
Irving, TX
42, joined Aug. 2008
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from rescueranger245:I understand what you're saying. You had to work so much harder, because you were the only one who wanted the relationship to work. That is what I have been saying...If you have to work hard at the relationship, there is something fundamentally wrong with it and most likely will fail. The one relationship that lasted for me was the one which was the easiest to maintain. It was only those which I had to work at that failed in the long run.
I believe, Easy is Best.
I can't believe you are saying this easy is not best because there is no such thing.....two people have to work hard everyday to make a relationship work...a relationship needs maintenance and upkeep without that you are doomed......
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| 1/31/2014 10:40:18 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I think a lot of that is because of one of two things. either...
1-They choose the wrong person for them, which doesn't work because the other refuses to commit. Or,
2-It's easier to walk away from a relationship instead of taking the time or making the effort to work it out. It's simply a matter of being lazy.
Either way, it all began by making the wrong choice in the beginning.
Tanz...
Don't you agree that if you have to work HARD at a relationship, that you have problems? You can't call that a "Good" relationship.
[Edited 1/31/2014 10:42:49 PM ]
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| 1/31/2014 10:41:57 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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tanzkity
Irving, TX
42, joined Aug. 2008
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You just used the word work so you know a relationship consists of this....
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| 1/31/2014 10:45:38 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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rescueranger245
Windsor, VA
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Remember...The statement was...
A GOOD relationship SHOULDN'T require HARD work. True/False
I never said it was work free.
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| 1/31/2014 10:45:45 PM |
A good relationship shouldn't require hard work: |
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oceanblues53
Cayce, SC
57, joined Apr. 2011
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all I hear is work, work, work, where is the love? 
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