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3/22/2014 8:00:06 AM  
patacq2013
New York, NY
40, joined Mar. 2013


Relationships fail or go sour at some point primarily because one or both persons did not ask the right questions, provide pertinent information, lack of communication, the setting of boundaries in the beginning and/or because of lack of continued nutrition to keep the relationship flowing and ongoing. Before you meet your next potential date, ask each other the following questions. - (1) What kind of relationship are you looking for ? Platonic/Friendship? or an exclusive relationship? or are you just looking to hook up for sex and/or one or a couple of night stands? or gunning for marriage? (2) Are you more of a go out person or a homebody? When and what time do you like to go out? Where do you like to go? (3) Is it ok if we chat and/or get together at least once a week? etc. If neither of you are satisfied with each other answers, that means you both need to move on to SAVE each other from emotional drama down the road.

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3/22/2014 8:01:43 AM New York, NY  

rubberbanman
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,157)
Sherman, TX
40, joined May. 2011


Quote from patacq2013:
Relationships fail or go sour at some point primarily because one or both persons did not ask the right questions, provide pertinent information, lack of communication, the setting of boundaries in the beginning and/or because of lack of continued nutrition to keep the relationship flowing and ongoing. Before you meet your next potential date, ask each other the following questions. - (1) What kind of relationship are you looking for ? Platonic/Friendship? or an exclusive relationship? or are you just looking to hook up for sex and/or one or a couple of night stands? or gunning for marriage? (2) Are you more of a go out person or a homebody? When and what time do you like to go out? Where do you like to go? (3) Is it ok if we chat and/or get together at least once a week? etc. If neither of you are satisfied with each other answers, that means you both need to move on to SAVE each other from emotional drama down the road.



Thanks Dear Abby.

3/22/2014 8:08:53 AM New York, NY  

mrld_ii
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,775)
Stockton, CA
54, joined May. 2011


OP, your OP would hold some water if people were stagnant creatures, with no opportunity for growth and change and were guaranteed to remain the same 'til the end of their individual and shared time together.

And, at the 'beginning' of each and every promising relationship, the two people involved WOULD probably 'be on the same page' with ALL of the answers to each of your Questions of Revelations.

No guarantee they'll continue to be on the same page months/years/decades into it.



3/22/2014 8:12:14 AM New York, NY  
cali8zice
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,224)
Albany, NY
50, joined Oct. 2012



Questions to ask your potential date before u meet?



"What's your name?"


I USUALLY like to know. lol


Didn't read op

3/22/2014 8:16:02 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from cali8zice:

Questions to ask your potential date before u meet?



"What's your name?"


I USUALLY like to know. lol


Didn't read op


Got a job?
Your own car?
Your own place?

These are the things I first like to know.

3/22/2014 8:17:46 AM New York, NY  
spookem
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,721)
Lexington, KY
59, joined Jan. 2013


Are you easy? ..

3/22/2014 8:19:32 AM New York, NY  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (29,070)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


while compatibility issues are important, I'd say that "set of questions" are different for every person.

I'd not want someone that was the "same" as myself that'd be pretty freaking boring to tell the truth. Just enough similarities and like mindedness on the "big" stuff...with enough differences to keep it interesting.


What I ask generally is are you married? after that we'll see if we hit it off after that.

I know couples that have been married for 57 years where one's a night owl and likes to do stuff at night and one's a morning person, and go out at different times he's has "wanderlust" and she's a hombody... and a whole bunch of other differences, but it's worked and wonderfully so for near to six decades (my folks and my grandparents)

I saw this lil clip and it was entertaining on how we get an idea of what "LOVE" will be and what it really is...


3/22/2014 8:19:48 AM New York, NY  

rubberbanman
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,157)
Sherman, TX
40, joined May. 2011


Quote from lindsey_g3:
Got a job?
Your own car?
Your own place?

These are the things I first like to know.



Ahh.....so you wanna know about all the material things he has first,then after that,you'll be interested in getting to know THE PERSON.


Ok....


Don't you DARE start trying to backtrack Linds....I got it in quotes.

3/22/2014 8:23:49 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from lindsey_g3:
Got a job?
Your own car?
Your own place?

These are the things I first like to know.

Those questions would turn me off quicker than pouring a bucket of ice water down my pants.

3/22/2014 8:37:57 AM New York, NY  
cali8zice
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,224)
Albany, NY
50, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from getatmekiss:
I pay absolutely no attention to answers to questions as people can bst their way into an answer you may want to hear.

I watch actions. They tell me all I want to know.


Yup!

3/22/2014 8:38:01 AM New York, NY  

reginamc
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,426)
Las Vegas, NV
59, joined Mar. 2011


I must be naive I assume everybody my age has a car a home and a way to pay their bills, I don't ask.

3/22/2014 8:38:38 AM New York, NY  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (29,070)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


Getme isn't that so true!! words can and often are bullshit, behavior consistent over time is where the most of the truth lies.

3/22/2014 8:46:15 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
Those questions would turn me off quicker than pouring a bucket of ice water down my pants.


That's no worry to me. I need to know what part of his life he's in before I bother getting to know him. If he's still in that can't hold down a job, lives with mommy and gets rides from his friends stage then he's already wasting my time.

3/22/2014 8:47:07 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from soulfulaussie1:
do you enjoy 4x4 wheel driving

Do you enjoy getting out having fun

do you laugh a lot

Do you like long drives to nowhere special

Do you enjoy BDSM

Just a few questions I ask

Great questions

3/22/2014 8:47:43 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from rubberbanman:
Ahh.....so you wanna know about all the material things he has first,then after that,you'll be interested in getting to know THE PERSON.


Ok....


Don't you DARE start trying to backtrack Linds....I got it in quotes.


No back tracking...he needs to be at my level...if he's not I'm not interested. I'm 31 years old....I shouldn't have to pull a man up or straighten him out at this age!

3/22/2014 8:49:10 AM New York, NY  
caringforu1
Over 2,000 Posts (2,022)
Cottage Grove, MN
50, joined Dec. 2010


Full name and birth date

3/22/2014 8:52:42 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from lindsey_g3:
No back tracking...he needs to be at my level...if he's not I'm not interested. I'm 31 years old....I shouldn't have to pull a man up or straighten him out at this age!

How would it go over if I asked questions like:
What's your credit score?
Do you own or rent?
How much do you make per year?
What type of car do you drive?
To me it's a turn off! Shows you're NOT interested in getting to know ME as a person.

We wouldn't even make it to the first date. Bad move!

3/22/2014 8:55:49 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from caringforu1:
Full name and birth date

Conducting a background check?

3/22/2014 8:56:13 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
How would it go over if I asked questions like:
What's your credit score?
Do you own or rent?
How much do you make per year?
What type of car do you drive?
To me it's a turn off! Shows you're NOT interested in getting to know ME as a person.

We wouldn't even make it to the first date. Bad move!


Not trying to date u...so not worried about it. And I don't ask the specifics of the job,car or home. Just if he has them. I do...and I'm fine with him asking me those questions because I'm proud to be a grown up....if someone is "turned off" by those 3 questions.. in my experience all three answers aren't yes lol

3/22/2014 9:01:40 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from lindsey_g3:
Not trying to date u...so not worried about it. And I don't ask the specifics of the job,car or home. Just if he has them. I do...and I'm fine with him asking me those questions because I'm proud to be a grown up....if someone is "turned off" by those 3 questions.. in my experience all three answers aren't yes lol

I just think those are inappropriate questions to ask before a first date; but hey, if that works for you, more power to ya! Good luck

3/22/2014 9:03:15 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
I just think those are inappropriate questions to ask before a first date; but hey, if that works for you, more power to ya! Good luck



Good luck to you as well.

3/22/2014 9:07:48 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from all_around_fun:
i wouldnt care if I was asked those. Everyones different!

Thank God

But would you answer them honestly?

Wait... Before you answer, I call Bull____!

3/22/2014 9:10:15 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Most women ask questions to find out if u have a job car and place prior to the first date. They just don't bluntly ask it like I bluntly mentioned it.

3/22/2014 9:13:57 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from lindsey_g3:
Most women ask questions to find out if u have a job car and place prior to the first date. They just don't bluntly ask it like I bluntly mentioned it.

I think one can safely infer that if a man is asking you OUT on a DATE, then he has the wherewithal to PAY for it, and the means to PICK YOU UP...

3/22/2014 9:15:51 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Afterall; it's just a first date, not a wedding proposal.

3/22/2014 9:19:18 AM New York, NY  
cali8zice
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,224)
Albany, NY
50, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from baldhead1va:
Afterall; it's just a first date, not a wedding proposal.
ring size 7 1/2


3/22/2014 9:24:20 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from all_around_fun:
hell yes. I am one of those ppl that tend to tell too much. And I could care less if you call bull.

You would divulge all that information to a perfect stranger?

3/22/2014 9:59:16 AM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from all_around_fun:
Yes. Some of this info they can find right on our profiles. Even read in our profiles.
Don't know what your problem is. You seem very confrontational. Take a breath. Why get so angry when someone has different views/thoughts on things. It's not like you're going to change me. And I certainly don't want to be like you.
Go ahead, take a weekend break from here. Not everyone is going to think like you.

Not being confrontational at all; and certainly you're free to do whatever you like, I just personally thnk it's NUTS to give out personal information like credit scores to perfect strangers. But do what makes sense to you. Btw I'm a newbie, only been on 3 months, and I'm not angry, just enjoy weighing in on these forums.

3/22/2014 10:03:17 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
I think one can safely infer that if a man is asking you OUT on a DATE, then he has the wherewithal to PAY for it, and the means to PICK YOU UP...


My state has one of the top unemployment rates....if u don't ask up front it could be a drug dealer u have to pick up. Id rather know that prior to saying yes to a date

3/22/2014 10:05:05 AM New York, NY  

lindsey_g3
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,948)
Dewitt, MI
32, joined Apr. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
Not being confrontational at all; and certainly you're free to do whatever you like, I just personally thnk it's NUTS to give out personal information like credit scores to perfect strangers. But do what makes sense to you. Btw I'm a newbie, only been on 3 months, and I'm not angry, just enjoy weighing in on these forums.


I could get all of that info doing a background check anyway

3/22/2014 10:07:10 AM New York, NY  
grneyedblndchic
Maryville, TN
46, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from patacq2013:
Relationships fail or go sour at some point primarily because one or both persons did not ask the right questions, provide pertinent information, lack of communication, the setting of boundaries in the beginning and/or because of lack of continued nutrition to keep the relationship flowing and ongoing. Before you meet your next potential date, ask each other the following questions. - (1) What kind of relationship are you looking for ? Platonic/Friendship? or an exclusive relationship? or are you just looking to hook up for sex and/or one or a couple of night stands? or gunning for marriage? (2) Are you more of a go out person or a homebody? When and what time do you like to go out? Where do you like to go? (3) Is it ok if we chat and/or get together at least once a week? etc. If neither of you are satisfied with each other answers, that means you both need to move on to SAVE each other from emotional drama down the road.


I agree with you OP. I like a person who knows what they want and what they are looking for. Either you are at a point in your life where you want to just casually date or you are at a point that you are interested in an exclusive relationship. If you don't even know, then maybe you need to take time to figure it out. Nothing turns me off more than trying to get to know someone who doesn't even know himself.

Lifestyles are important as well and I also think its important to know these things up front.

3/22/2014 10:11:53 AM New York, NY  
grneyedblndchic
Maryville, TN
46, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from lindsey_g3:
I could get all of that info doing a background check anyway


Only thing you'll get from a background check is public records and information.

Credit info can only be obtained if you have a persons social, and even if you did, it's illegal to obtain without their consent.

3/22/2014 10:12:56 AM New York, NY  

reginamc
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,426)
Las Vegas, NV
59, joined Mar. 2011


Quote from lindsey_g3:
My state has one of the top unemployment rates....if u don't ask up front it could be a drug dealer u have to pick up. Id rather know that prior to saying yes to a date


They can lie you know.

3/22/2014 10:50:44 AM New York, NY  

lovessmart
Over 2,000 Posts (3,969)
Corona, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013


Quote from baldhead1va:
I think one can safely infer that if a man is asking you OUT on a DATE, then he has the wherewithal to PAY for it, and the means to PICK YOU UP...


Then stop inferring. Now-a-days the rules are not written stone. You may think your paying and picking me up, but with me and many other women, we would have a conversation about who's paying, and you would not be picking me up on a first date. We'd be meeting.

Old rules don't always apply anymore, so we must assess by communicating.

I know it can be difficult to adapt to open communication, but it really is necessary.

3/22/2014 12:50:03 PM New York, NY  

designer21
Pelham, GA
23, joined May. 2013


I would ask if he is a smoker or a drinker, I would ask if he has kids, and I would ask if he is more of a casual dresser. I hate going on dates putting 100% into my appearance, and the guy only puts 15% in his. I also don't mind drinking, but prefer not to date a smoker or someone with kids.

3/22/2014 12:52:09 PM New York, NY  

barrydalmi
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,309)
Baltimore, MD
52, joined Dec. 2007


I only have one question with a follow up.

"Do you like high heels and will you occasionally wear them for me when we have sex?"

3/22/2014 1:03:23 PM New York, NY  
baldhead1va
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,816)
Richmond, VA
50, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from barrydalmi:
I only have one question with a follow up.

"Do you like high heels and will you occasionally wear them for me when we have sex?"



3/22/2014 1:33:07 PM New York, NY  
enticingeyes44
Foster, KY
47, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from getatmekiss: I pay absolutely no attention to answers to questions as people can bullshit their way into an answer you may want to hear.

I watch actions. They tell me all I want to know.




3/22/2014 1:40:34 PM New York, NY  
hadassah169
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,941)
Dhaneswargati
Bangladesh
81, joined Dec. 2012


Quote from barrydalmi:
I only have one question with a follow up.

"Do you like high heels and will you occasionally wear them for me when we have sex?"





I've been waiting for just the occasion to wear these.




3/22/2014 1:42:04 PM New York, NY  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (33,359)
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009


How many forums have you put this in, OP?

Like I said in the other one, I won't do this. I do not interrogate someone before I meet them for coffee. I will let these answers and others happen naturally and organically as we get to know each other.

Just like I would if I met the person in any other way.

3/22/2014 1:45:52 PM New York, NY  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (33,359)
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009


Besides, I don't need to know any of this just to meet someone to have a cup of coffee. I drink coffee anyway, so having it with someone just to lay eyes on them and see if it's something I may want to pursue, is the only thing I need to know.

The rest comes later.

3/22/2014 1:46:55 PM New York, NY  

barrydalmi
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,309)
Baltimore, MD
52, joined Dec. 2007


Hadassah! Those are spectacular. What great taste you have.

3/22/2014 1:51:22 PM New York, NY  
enticingeyes44
Foster, KY
47, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from hadassah169:
I've been waiting for just the occasion to wear these.





hada


Where were you when I made another shoe thread?

I really enjoyed all the unique heels you posted in the other one.

3/22/2014 1:53:45 PM New York, NY  
starsandshadows
Aurora, CO
31, joined Apr. 2009


Ha! I have many questions, and none of them are materialistic or logistical. All that can change and be worked out if the desire for a relationship is there. What I want to know is who a person is, what he enjoys, what has meaning to him, what he loves about himself... If we can form connections within that sharing of who we are, then we can have a first date.

3/22/2014 2:04:16 PM New York, NY  
hadassah169
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,941)
Dhaneswargati
Bangladesh
81, joined Dec. 2012


Thanks Barry and Entice.


You made another shoe thread, when?


Sorry I missed it.

3/22/2014 2:16:20 PM New York, NY  
enticingeyes44
Foster, KY
47, joined Jul. 2013


Yeah, made it Monday if my memory serves me correctly.

You know what they say about age and the mind.

3/23/2014 12:19:24 AM New York, NY  

ronleeseberg
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,872)
Mauston, WI
48, joined Jan. 2012


If someone is dis-honest it will not matter what questions you ask.

3/23/2014 2:40:53 AM New York, NY  
happylauren
Over 2,000 Posts (3,682)
Crown Point, IN
53, joined May. 2013


I call it the mask. Sometimes when you first meet a person they are on their best behavior. After enough time has passed, off comes the mask.

3/23/2014 8:56:40 AM New York, NY  
jrupp0604
Over 2,000 Posts (2,666)
Stoughton, MA
66, joined May. 2011


You got wheels

3/23/2014 9:14:58 AM New York, NY  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (53,530)
Fort Payne, AL
60, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


I don't ask questions....like it some application time....I don't believe in that.

I just meerly talk like any two people would....and I do so for a while before the dating decision is made.

And along the course of things....most things I want to know get covered in basic conversations....and ad to the fact, its just words, not backed by actions.

So you can only take those words only so far anyway.

Then if you talked enough, and are comfortable with each other....you can enjoy that first date....instead of more applications, wondering and all that nonsense.

I think some people get in too big a hurry these days and their MOD....is like hiring someone for a job....

Why not just talk long enough and not going into this dating with all these wishes and expectations....and just be natural and let the chips fall where they may.



[Edited 3/23/2014 9:16:28 AM ]

3/23/2014 10:07:59 AM New York, NY  
litlpocket
Hershey, PA
49, joined Jun. 2013


I agree with Bee - let's just talk....gives us a great chance to see if our views and perspectives are compatible. What topics someone brings up says a lot about what's going on in their life, how they deal with issues, and what they've been through.

3/23/2014 10:21:53 AM New York, NY  
rose1206
Over 2,000 Posts (2,561)
Gilbert, AZ
33, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from lindsey_g3:
My state has one of the top unemployment rates....if u don't ask up front it could be a drug dealer u have to pick up. Id rather know that prior to saying yes to a date


Scary but true!

3/23/2014 10:29:38 AM New York, NY  

pdforone
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (23,744)
Litchfield, OH
64, joined Jul. 2010






Can you do that standing on your head?

3/23/2014 10:50:01 AM New York, NY  
jrupp0604
Over 2,000 Posts (2,666)
Stoughton, MA
66, joined May. 2011


Do you drive
Are you on pigs.com

3/23/2014 5:02:05 PM New York, NY  
actionmodel
Nottingham, MD
39, joined Sep. 2013


Nice blog.

3/23/2014 5:07:59 PM New York, NY  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Have you got any crazy exes hangin around?

Any women chained in your basement?

Is our first date gonna be with your parole officer?



3/23/2014 5:09:38 PM New York, NY  
stresscase
Over 2,000 Posts (2,316)
Ridgecrest, CA
56, joined Feb. 2013


the first question I ask is if they like the taste of salt

Why is it only on Sunday people post questions about the most obvious things on here? Like "why is water wet?", "i texted him 30 times and he didn't reply- what did i do wrong?" and such like this one telling us what we already know?

Ah, Sunday slothness... ain't it grand?

3/23/2014 5:43:44 PM New York, NY  

ohdannyboy59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,043)
Arlington, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012
online now!


There are questions that need to be asked up front and boundaries set, but they're anything but standard. If there are things important to YOU or pertinent for someone to know about YOU, then those things need to surface. The main thing for me is taking the few minutes and getting the "basics" out of the way so no one wastes time meeting when what should be obvious deal-breakers exist.



[Edited 3/23/2014 5:44:16 PM ]

3/23/2014 5:54:36 PM New York, NY  
georgeannlynn
Bremen, GA
43, joined May. 2011


Quote from lindsey_g3:
That's no worry to me. I need to know what part of his life he's in before I bother getting to know him. If he's still in that can't hold down a job, lives with mommy and gets rides from his friends stage then he's already wasting my time.
. This. . Just like a man doesn't want a woman with 3 kids and no job

3/23/2014 5:56:46 PM New York, NY  

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (42,809)
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009


Sounds reasonable to me, OP!

I might add if the responses from the other don't add up then DON'T waste your time trying to change the other person. You're wasting your time and they'll just resent you for it.



patacq2013 - New York, NY