| 5/10/2014 4:02:32 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
countryboy4279
Brighton, CO
38, joined Oct. 2013
|
Since the divorce, I've had a nasty fear of rejection, and it's made it hard to meet or even talk to new people.
Lately, I've been trying to practice talking to random people, but I was wondering if that makes people uncomfortable.
So, what would you think if a guy just randomly started talking to you in the grocery store, for example?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 5/11/2014 2:05:14 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
cavie59
Enid, OK
58, joined Feb. 2010
|
All I know is I do not do it.
|
| 5/11/2014 2:48:50 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
pickygirl72
Picher, OK
47, joined Sep. 2011
|
Honestly it would depend on the guy. I am a talker myself, but I do watch who I talk to. OP all you can do us go slow and slowly get some confidence back. We all fear rejection, but sometimes it happens.
|
| 5/11/2014 7:14:44 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
tyler74171
Mauldin, SC
43, joined Jul. 2013
|
This is not snide:
Seem professional help. They can get you to where you need to be mentally. You're going to make the problem worse the way you're going now.
|
| 5/12/2014 5:42:18 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
purplerider1200
South Bend, IN
61, joined Aug. 2011
|
Try this- as you go thru your day, talk at anyone. It doesn't have to be more than a couple words. Even try talking to yourself staring at a store shelf with someone within earshot. If they're remotely interested they may say something back to you. Or, you could go see a phyciatrist, and he will tell you to do the same thing. But charge you $150 for it. I'll send you a bill.
|
| 5/12/2014 7:33:29 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
her_happiness
Chouteau, OK
30, joined Apr. 2014
|
Since the divorce, I've had a nasty fear of rejection, and it's made it hard to meet or even talk to new people.
Lately, I've been trying to practice talking to random people, but I was wondering if that makes people uncomfortable.
So, what would you think if a guy just randomly started talking to you in the grocery store, for example?
im just getting over the same problem man. I understand. What helped me was a combination of things, forcing myself to talk to people in casual conversations, guys included in that. Took some time, but now my desire to find someone new out-ways my fear. That fear will be there for a while. And don't force it. Take your time man. 
|
| 5/13/2014 9:03:17 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
jess_is_back
Jefferson City, MO
31, joined Mar. 2013
|
I cant speak for all women but I get creeped out when men approach when I'm out shopping.. My children are usually with me and I go on the defensive.. Im also focused on the task at hand so I would pay him little to no attention..
|
| 5/13/2014 1:48:54 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
her_happiness
Chouteau, OK
30, joined Apr. 2014
|
I cant speak for all women but I get creeped out when men approach when I'm out shopping.. My children are usually with me and I go on the defensive.. Im also focused on the task at hand so I would pay him little to no attention..
yea. Trying to pick someone up while shopping never goes well lol. For me anyway. Yor not the only one that gets defensive I've discovered lmao
|
| 5/13/2014 3:43:13 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
jess_is_back
Jefferson City, MO
31, joined Mar. 2013
|
See lmao.. We just go into mama bear mode when strangers come near our kids.. Ive had men approach and use the "where's the pb at".. I just smile and point up to the big sign that's says peanut butter 
I will make a suggestion here.. Try places like bed, bath and beyond
Women, try home improvement stores.. 
|
| 5/13/2014 4:24:06 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
nogames568
Beverly, NJ
41, joined Dec. 2013
|
Your better off trying to talk to others in a group setting with friends. You also might consider social places like a gym or church. No offense my man but the grocery store or mall just has creeper written all over it even with good intentions. Especially single moms. That's a no no!
|
| 5/13/2014 4:44:26 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
teeb79
Maple Shade, NJ
45, joined Apr. 2014
|
I will usually speak back, providing he doesn't do or say something weird.
|
| 5/13/2014 4:56:36 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
purplerider1200
South Bend, IN
61, joined Aug. 2011
|
I cant speak for all women but I get creeped out when men approach when I'm out shopping.. My children are usually with me and I go on the defensive.. Im also focused on the task at hand so I would pay him little to no attention..
Actually, staring at grocery store shelf, acting perplexed, and talking to yourself does work to an extent. And doing groceries is thought of now for a place to meet folks. You might try meetup.com also. Another something to consider is kids.
Kids, if they're with their parents, sometimes are more receptive to strangers in stores. Ever see a toddler in a shopping basket with a big silly grin their face looking at you? React to it. You'll leave everyone with a pleasant experence, and help yourself out.
|
| 5/13/2014 5:36:57 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
jess_is_back
Jefferson City, MO
31, joined Mar. 2013
|
Thats why I said I can't speak for all women.. For me personally the shopping thing doesn't work.
I did meet a great guy at a gas station i stop at almost daily. One cold morning he offered to pump my gas and after that we spoke often. I notice him getting a coffee so I paid for it to return the gesture. He did eventually ask me to dinner, I accepted. Nothing romantic came from it but we did have a great time.
|
| 5/13/2014 10:02:12 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
hakman77
Boynton Beach, FL
40, joined Feb. 2014
|
Lol. Maybe I am just to extreme or cocky. But I been divorced for 2 months and already been on 4 dates. No I'm not all that just know what I have to offer as a man. I say man up get ur fishing pool and go catch that pipping snapper u been looking at
|
| 5/15/2014 6:20:15 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
her_happiness
Chouteau, OK
30, joined Apr. 2014
|
I'm just taking it easy myself. I am talking to a pretty cool cat, but can't go on any dates I ya can't pay for it lol. Priority's first.
|
| 5/17/2014 6:43:12 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
53, joined Mar. 2009
|
OP, that is a normal feeling. You didn't say how long it has been since your divorce, but it sounds as if you have done enough emotional healing yet to be ready to date again. It can take a long time to recover from divorce.
|
| 5/22/2014 8:05:40 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
sassypants760
San Marcos, CA
43, joined Feb. 2014
|
So nobody talks to strangers anymore?
Doh, as long as you aren't staring at my boobs the whole time, acting creepy or following me around, talking to strangers is perfectly fine. I do it all the time. But you walk away after. A random conversation about laundry soap at the grocery store, does not mean she wants a date 
|
| 5/22/2014 12:46:58 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
monkeydid
Thomaston, GA
35, joined Dec. 2013
|
I like talking to people in the checkout line, but not so much while I'm shopping. While I'm shopping, I've got a lot on my mind, but standing in line (for anything) is idle time. People seem to like non-invasive subjects such as local news, weather, merchandise. Never ask invasive questions pertaining to where a person lives, works, etc. Also, mentioning restaurants and upcoming events gives people the feeling you are trying to pick them up.
If you really want to branch out in talking to strangers, you should try the Forest Gump approach. Go to the bus stop and talk to people while they are waiting. Tell each set of people that you are waiting for the next bus and strike up a conversation about the area or local interests. Lol
On another note, the fear of rejection is a guilt trip that we put on ourselves without realizing it. When we are rejected, we feel that we have done something wrong. That is simply not true. There is nothing wrong with reaching out to other people. There is nothing wrong with wanting human connection. And, as long as you aren't being creepy or inappropriate, there is probably nothing wrong with how you do it. But, there is also nothing wrong with someone turning you down. We are all different and we all like different things. When someone turns you down, it simply means you weren't meant to connect with that person. Keep that in mind and move on.
|
| 6/23/2014 3:57:34 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
bamababy52
Decatur, AL
65, joined Jun. 2012
|
Strangest approach / pick up line ...was a guy in a grocery store parking lot, coming towards me with a mason jar with some liquid in it. Asked if I wanted to try his
" moonshine ". I asked him how that line was working out for him!!! 
|
| 6/23/2014 9:09:32 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
angeleyes7153
Baker, WV
41, joined Aug. 2013
|
Ha moonshine with a roofie most likley. I am getting divorced in the next few weeks I am past all the rejection crap but it did take a while after a twenty year relationship ten of those years in a marriage it takes time to get past all the feelings and hangups but you do get there I always pictured my life with my family and this one person but that is not how it always goes. You have to look forward and Thank God for the time you had and the gifts you got in the time you shared for me it was my two sons. That is what kept me going now it is so much easier he has moved on several times over lol me I am perfectly happy being mommy and taking care of my sons. Not really looking to get into any kind of relationship and definitely not interested in one night stands and hook ups. I am finally comfortable with where my life is and don't need anyone to help that feeling. You will get there guys keep your head up and when the time is right I truly feel the right one will come along. 
|
| 7/3/2014 10:00:19 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
happyladyme
Stephens City, VA
74, joined May. 2014
|
IMO it sounds like you have to complete the healing process before you look for someone.
Otherwise you would be bringing the past into a new relationship.
|
| 7/24/2014 10:52:46 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
funamericanhuny
Boonville, MO
57, joined May. 2010
|
Go to the library. Use a computer then ask the person next to you how to research a topic that interests you. After finding the topic then say a few more questions,, such as if they know of any place in town where they recommend to you a location that would sell items that you are asking about. this should help you get into the habit of feeling comfortable talking with the opposite sex.
|
| 7/25/2014 11:03:41 AM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
sweetate2
Albion, IN
67, joined Jul. 2013
|
You are not alone some of us ladies have a hard time as well... I think this place is a good start then move on to the real woeld and just be yourself.. My first meet on here I guess I did not once look at him and hardly said a word..lol I was so sorried I would blow it I did... He was shy as well lol but we are still friends after all these years..He has someone and I am so happy for him............... Good luck
|
| 7/28/2014 2:38:30 PM |
Ladies, your opinion please |
|
sankie1
Irvine, KY
69, joined Dec. 2011
|
Since the divorce, I've had a nasty fear of rejection, and it's made it hard to meet or even talk to new people.
Lately, I've been trying to practice talking to random people, but I was wondering if that makes people uncomfortable.
So, what would you think if a guy just randomly started talking to you in the grocery store, for example?
A person has to start somewhere so the grocery store, the gas station, etc. works. It allows you to open up to someone you don't know and it becomes easier as you go along. A smile works well as an initial introduction. Sometimes a sly smile can say a lot more than words and bet you get a return smile. Keep any conversation light at first and that usually doesn't scare someone unless they are neurotic to begin with. Most people are willing to have someone say "hello" or "have a good day".
|