7/6/2014 9:26:26 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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magpiehere
Baltimore, MD
47, joined Mar. 2014
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I noticed the other day I was having a long detailed convo with my deceased husband.
I was having a bad week, and on the last day of it I went to his grave (I pass it on my way home). I talked to him awhile there then found myself talking and talking in the car, then home. I feel stupid but kind of comforted too.
I know he isn't buried in that ground but I still like the physical location to visit. Sometimes I do think he is around me though and I like being able to bounce stuff off of "him". I've been upset about something and idk, I kinda like to think he's listening and telling me the right direction to take.
So..am I crazy? Or is this because I miss him and wish I could talk to him still but it is harmless?
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7/7/2014 8:24:28 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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moonbeams73
Grand Rapids, MN
62, joined Sep. 2009
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You're not crazy. Conversations like that are normal. Besides, why do you care what others think of it? It's none of their business. We do what we need to do to find comfort and heal. They won't get it until they've been through it themselves.
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7/7/2014 2:49:20 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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I know plenty of people who do that. Not just with deceased spouses but with others they've lost, too. I've done it, too. I think, especially, if there is a place to go that you can associate with the person, you do it.
My husband was cremated and I have the ashes in the house. I was planning on taking him back home to MN and interring the ashes there but I've not been able to do that. We weren't here together long enough for me to have a place to associate with him here, either, so I don't have a place to go to 'be with him' and talk. I think you kind of need that--the opportunity and/or the place.
I think it's healthy and normal and usual to go see, to go talk and have conversations of a sort. I think it can help you move through it and can help you crystallize whatever problem or issue or thought you're having that you've taken to him to talk about.
Most importantly, if it gives you comfort, then that's all it needs to do, and you should do it regardless of others' thoughts about it.
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7/7/2014 6:22:05 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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magpiehere
Baltimore, MD
47, joined Mar. 2014
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you ladies are so nice, thank you
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7/8/2014 1:12:33 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Naw --- I told him, before he died, that I wouldn't ride his A** anymore.
He died laughing!
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7/8/2014 8:31:47 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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whistlerblue
Lancaster, CA
59, joined Jun. 2010
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I know plenty of people who do that. Not just with deceased spouses but with others they've lost, too. I've done it, too. I think, especially, if there is a place to go that you can associate with the person, you do it.
I think it's healthy and normal and usual to go see, to go talk and have conversations of a sort. I think it can help you move through it and can help you crystallize whatever problem or issue or thought you're having that you've taken to him to talk about.
Most importantly, if it gives you comfort, then that's all it needs to do, and you should do it regardless of others' thoughts about it.
I do it all the time! Some of the best decisions in my life were after we talked about them together. Now the conversation is a little one-sided but often I "hear" what she would have said. I often look at her picture and talk to her. Now that our little poodle passed away last year, I find myself looking at his picture and telling him what a good boy he was.
I think the conversations help us remember some of the good times and help us get through some of the tough stuff we encounter now.
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7/9/2014 12:52:30 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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sunnydee7777
Clermont, FL
67, joined Aug. 2011
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I talked to him when he was alive and I still catch myself talking to him now and then.
He always offered me the best advice and helped me through many issues, I can hear his reassuring voice, that everything will be ok.
You are not crazy, mag, I had one friend tell me he took his wife's picture around the newly remodeled kitchen. He showed all the new things that they had picked out before her death.
That is love
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7/9/2014 6:09:06 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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yetskimama
Walterboro, SC
66, joined Sep. 2011
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Yes, I do daily, when things are good or bad.[ ken.always loved never forgotten
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7/9/2014 2:39:06 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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gracefulchick
Brundidge, AL
49, joined Apr. 2010
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Glad to see I'm not the only one that does this.Now I don't feel half as crazy..lol
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7/10/2014 5:42:33 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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yetskimama
Walterboro, SC
66, joined Sep. 2011
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@grace, nothing to feel crazy about. Good luck
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7/10/2014 7:04:28 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Yes. Most of the time I say: "Dayum you! Why did you up and die at a time like this?"
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7/10/2014 7:51:20 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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ragin_gaijin
AndowjCesena
Italy
24, joined Jun. 2014
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Stop trolling DH
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7/11/2014 6:17:25 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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gracefulchick
Brundidge, AL
49, joined Apr. 2010
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Ill find myself doing the same. My son has ask me ..mama why r you yelling at daddy about leaving us..you do know hes not here. .right? I just look at him and laugh and say of course I do but hes not getting off that easy.hes still gonna here how I feel about it.My son just turned 10 and ive heard him talking to his dad to.
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7/15/2014 12:39:39 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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artist820
Tehachapi, CA
60, joined Jan. 2013
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First of all, you are not crazy. You are normal, welcome to being part Mexican. We, Mexicans have a "Day of the Dead" or "día de los muertos" where we set aside a day to have a "picnic" at our Grandma's burial site. The cemetery staff try to run us out if the crowd gets too large, but we return with more food for the festivities. Growing up I never saw it as "strange" to spend time at our dead Grandma's grave. For me it was a place to gather and hear stories of her childhood or recall good times with her. The older folk no longer pull weeds or fix flowers along the grave site. They have delegated the task to the next generation. Anytime I can, I stop to manicure her site as well as my Tío R-C's military burial plot. My Aunt is buried close- by, even though I never met her, she has become part of my history. She died of appendicitis at the age of 4. Luckily, I got my son to the hospital on time because I knew the symptoms. ¡Gracias Tía Hortensia!
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7/15/2014 12:46:12 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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artist820
Tehachapi, CA
60, joined Jan. 2013
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Ill find myself doing the same. My son has ask me ..mama why r you yelling at daddy about leaving us..you do know hes not here. .right? I just look at him and laugh and say of course I do but hes not getting off that easy.hes still gonna here how I feel about it.My son just turned 10 and ive heard him talking to his dad to.
this made me teary-eyed. Thanks for posting.
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7/22/2014 10:11:13 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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peachy1954
Sacramento, CA
63, joined Oct. 2010
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Talking with people passed, or just away. is a standard self comforting technique and quite healthy. Twins are well known for doing it but it can just be a best friend or even a way of thinking from another trusted perspective. LOL now days you can just hold your cell phone up to your ear and nobody will be the wiser.
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7/28/2014 8:17:21 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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daniel2359
De Soto, MO
63, joined Apr. 2012
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I do every day been 2 1/2 years
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8/26/2014 10:53:21 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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marlotho
Slippery Rock, PA
61, joined Aug. 2012
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My husband was cremated his ashes are in my living room. Yes I talk to him. When I am really missing him I lay my head on the urn and cry. I don't talk to him as much now as I did at first. There are times when I just need to.
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8/30/2014 11:39:19 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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24milkduds
San Francisco, CA
58, joined Mar. 2012
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Sometimes...asking him for strength during my weakness
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9/1/2014 8:01:41 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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luckylouie42
Cedar Grove, WV
74, joined Mar. 2008
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NO, the bible says the "dead knoweth not "
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9/27/2014 10:53:12 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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marlotho
Slippery Rock, PA
61, joined Aug. 2012
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The other day I asked Tom " Why did you love me so much? What did you see in me that these men on DH don't?" He didn't answer
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10/2/2014 9:44:42 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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miss_mistylight
Franklin, GA
54, joined Sep. 2013
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all the time
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10/22/2014 6:15:18 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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ladiebugg55
Redding, CA
61, joined Jun. 2012
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Not only do I still talk to my husband, I dream about him almost every time I sleep (even day naps)..
I was angry with my husband for dying of multiple cancers..we both knew something was serious with his health for the last 3 years before he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer..I tried and tried to get him to go to the doctor but he was adamant about not going..he would say "it's too late"..with my medical background, I knew he had cancer..I was angry when he was diagnosed..the doctors said he had no chance for survival..without chemo and radiation he had maybe 3 months..with treatment, about 6 months..treatment was to help him hang on long enough to get his affairs in order and nothing more..he passed one year almost to the day he was diagnosed..
I keep asking him WHY!?..Why wouldn't he see a doctor years earlier. He could very well have beaten it if caught early..he just wouldn't go!..
To this day I feel him with me in bed at night...it's just our little dog sleeping on his pillow..I'm still sleeping on the same side of the bed as when he was alive.
I know it's been enough time for me to get closure and move on but I havent..7 years now..7 years..our daughter passed away 3 years before him..but it's been entirely different grieving for her..I have her ashes in a beautiful earn in my house..
Is anyone else still dreaming about their spouse too?..
The dreams are bitter sweet..then when I wake, there's such a heavy sadness once reality sets in..I miss him so much..
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10/22/2014 7:28:45 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014
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o no.yes,i yell at her at times,an scooter the cat too, he looks funny as i yell,where we eatin tonite sugar,,??scooter used to walk on her,she was so frail,,an shed say get him off he hurts me,,he only meant to love her though, he,s long an heavy, an so funny,,but yesi yell at her at times,at first,i wanted to die too, i had a terrible time,,beyond any pain i thought i could endure, been about 14 months now. i got a few of her ashes in some pink lead crystal,an i hate cremation with a passion,but she wanted that, but shes gone on to be with jesus,, an thats that,an its me,an scooter,an yes,,just us here,an so silent at times, buti,ll crank up guitar or musick for a while,an scooter will get in my lap, an i get so sad at times,,an still i yell at her,or say are we havin what,or goin to chilis tonite trudy,an i get no answer,only silence,,but theres deep love in my house,an im a gentle pushover,an she knew i am allways warm,an nice an gullible,but i cared to her till near the very end,a cancer that i cant even pronounce, in heaven they arent allowed sorrow or grief,,cause its written,,,the former things are past away,an god will wipe away all tears,,,,she was the ring leader,,organizer an all that,i just agreed,or whatever,an we were a good team mostly, an sometimes i say well sugar ,,,scooters eatin too much cat food again,,or whatever,its all just a sad release, as we wait,an live this life,,where friends are a thing of the past mostly,an kin folk are stand offish,an it just really is a pisser,,at times,, but we went everywhere,musick,an me playin loud guitar,an laughin an a big time a lotta the time, ......people,please be friendly,an talk,,this is the south.
[Edited 10/22/2014 7:29:49 PM ]
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12/3/2014 1:22:36 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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makeusmile34
Pickens, SC
38, joined Apr. 2013
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Yes,a number of times.Most recently a few weeks ago.Ordinarily i see her and she is just a filler piece for the dream,set-dressing.Every now and then though we talk...it's her.
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1/29/2015 1:12:50 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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shaggyoledog
Ocean Shores, WA
69, joined Apr. 2011
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Daily... For as long as we were together, I can remember only five times we had cross words. None lasted more then 20 minutes, after which it was forgotten, but was it. Of course, at the time, it wasn't my fault, but I know now it ALWAYS was. Now, every time they come to mind, I apologize profusely. I even heard her say, "Thank you, that means a lot to me". I don't know why I keep remembering. Probably because I feel guilty. Confession is good for the soul. I suppose I keep trying to say I'm sorry since I didn't at the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhq2tN0NymM
For all the good times, that we shared
How much we loved, how much we cared
There's not a time, I don't remember
As surely as leaves fall, each November
Baby Girl
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1/31/2015 3:37:47 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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mjohndeer
Lehigh Acres, FL
45, joined Jul. 2014
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I find my self talking to my late wife and you are not crazy if you are then that means I am to and if you believe that he is there then what does it matter if it makes the day easy then do it
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1/31/2015 8:37:10 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008
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Not only do I still talk to my husband, I dream about him almost every time I sleep (even day naps)..
Is anyone else still dreaming about their spouse too?..
The dreams are bitter sweet..then when I wake, there's such a heavy sadness once reality sets in..I miss him so much..
I cared for my parents from 2005-2010 when my Dad passed. Mom had passed a year earlier and that was bad enough, as I still had Dad. When he passed, I totally lost it and slept 20 hours a day, 7 days a week for two months straight. Finally someone insisted I get counseling, which I then did. I thought I had overcome the depression, but in 2012, I felt it creeping back in.
I called the head grief counselor at Hospice who recommended I join their griever's support group which met one night a week for six weeks. I subsequently did so and after six weeks felt totally alive again. The week I finished the support group, I started dreaming about my parents seven nights a week and even in my afternoon naps. They are very vivid and we converse with each other, just as if they were still here. Twice I have heard Mom audibly call my name, waking me from a sound sleep. Occasionally, I get a whiff of Dad's after shave Aqua Velvet. It's like they are visiting me to keep me from further bouts of depression. So, if people want to call me crazy, I don't care. I am just grateful that I am blessed by my parents visiting me on a nightly basis.
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2/1/2015 11:08:25 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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heart_and_soul3
Sarasota, FL
59, joined Aug. 2014
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Daily... For as long as we were together, I can remember only five times we had cross words. None lasted more then 20 minutes, after which it was forgotten, but was it. Of course, at the time, it wasn't my fault, but I know now it ALWAYS was. Now, every time they come to mind, I apologize profusely. I even heard her say, "Thank you, that means a lot to me". I don't know why I keep remembering. Probably because I feel guilty. Confession is good for the soul. I suppose I keep trying to say I'm sorry since I didn't at the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhq2tN0NymM
For all the good times, that we shared
How much we loved, how much we cared
There's not a time, I don't remember
As surely as leaves fall, each November
Baby Girl
Awww-Shaggy, that made me tear up. I too, have so many wonderful memories of the love of my life. He was a doer, never said many apologies--But, when he did, it meant so much to me. Now I know--he did those little things because it was his way of saying, "I'm sorry." What I wouldn't do--just to have one more day to say all the things to him--I never did say.
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2/1/2015 11:13:03 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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heart_and_soul3
Sarasota, FL
59, joined Aug. 2014
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I cared for my parents from 2005-2010 when my Dad passed. Mom had passed a year earlier and that was bad enough, as I still had Dad. When he passed, I totally lost it and slept 20 hours a day, 7 days a week for two months straight. Finally someone insisted I get counseling, which I then did. I thought I had overcome the depression, but in 2012, I felt it creeping back in.
I called the head grief counselor at Hospice who recommended I join their griever's support group which met one night a week for six weeks. I subsequently did so and after six weeks felt totally alive again. The week I finished the support group, I started dreaming about my parents seven nights a week and even in my afternoon naps. They are very vivid and we converse with each other, just as if they were still here. Twice I have heard Mom audibly call my name, waking me from a sound sleep. Occasionally, I get a whiff of Dad's after shave Aqua Velvet. It's like they are visiting me to keep me from further bouts of depression. So, if people want to call me crazy, I don't care. I am just grateful that I am blessed by my parents visiting me on a nightly basis.
G-Bear--You are not crazy--Cause if you are I am too. I can hear his voice in my head when I am having a bad day, telling me--"You can do this, Baby Girl." I don't think we ever stop missing or loving those who have made such an impact in our lives.
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2/1/2015 6:49:18 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Yes but he still doesn't pay any attention.
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2/10/2015 4:09:33 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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dep354
Southampton, PA
56, joined Jan. 2014
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On a constant basis. My wife and I were avid believers of the afterlife and being able to converse with people passed over.
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2/24/2015 11:51:29 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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ladiebugg55
Redding, CA
61, joined Jun. 2012
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I've done it too so you're not crazy..it can be comforting for me at times since I already know what he would have said had he really been talking with me..it's usually an automatic thing..time for me to move on..
I noticed the other day I was having a long detailed convo with my deceased husband.
I was having a bad week, and on the last day of it I went to his grave (I pass it on my way home). I talked to him awhile there then found myself talking and talking in the car, then home. I feel stupid but kind of comforted too.
I know he isn't buried in that ground but I still like the physical location to visit. Sometimes I do think he is around me though and I like being able to bounce stuff off of "him". I've been upset about something and idk, I kinda like to think he's listening and telling me the right direction to take.
So..am I crazy? Or is this because I miss him and wish I could talk to him still but it is harmless?
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2/25/2015 10:48:59 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Not really .... he's always busy watching sports.
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3/14/2015 12:34:44 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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budzbunny
Hermitage, TN
65, joined Feb. 2013
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No, you are NOT crazy...I have conversations with my wife, sometimes through a third party...My wife Denise told me I didn't have to visit her grave...She is not in there...that's just her decomposing afterbirth left over when she was reborn into her new life.
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3/14/2015 9:18:08 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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rainydaze26
Columbus, OH
52, joined Nov. 2013
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Lots...seems as though he will put something in front of my face that clearly state his opinion & I start to rationalize my decision or action to him...like always
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4/20/2015 8:40:03 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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shaggyoledog
Ocean Shores, WA
69, joined Apr. 2011
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Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wc20mXtyRY
Love you Baby Girl.
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4/27/2015 11:34:13 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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sunnydee7777
Clermont, FL
67, joined Aug. 2011
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Well said shaggy
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5/8/2015 11:05:19 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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mysterydrifter2
Denton, TX
98, joined Jan. 2012
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Not really. I know she is gone and not here anymore. She's hopefully in a much better place than I am anyway. Also afraid if I did and she responded, I would be hauling the mail so fast, the postman would wonder what flew past him! Best leave well enough alone.....
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6/23/2015 5:03:19 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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yuhaszb
Indiana, PA
45, joined May. 2014
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Yes I do and I don't think that you are Crazy. You talk to them while they were here and just because they are gone I feel that they can still hear you and help you through life and to pick up the pieces after their death.
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9/30/2015 11:59:08 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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shaggyoledog
Ocean Shores, WA
69, joined Apr. 2011
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Of course...
When I decided, ta stop, ann not look
A hole new, kine a calm, my self took
This mite soun' cliche
Butt I'll say any way
No need fer a library, ta fine no, new book
I foun' my Snookums, an ta gether we wrote our love story... I don't feel no need fer no new chapters with some one new... What we had/have fills me... All I need do is close my eyes to read...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb7D5VQEPU
Baby Girl
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2/25/2016 8:56:23 AM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Yes, but it is a one sided conversation.
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3/15/2016 3:22:00 PM |
Do you converse with your departed beloved ? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Yes
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