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7/27/2014 11:44:10 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

rachhbabiixo
Toms River, NJ
22, joined Sep. 2013


Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?




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7/27/2014 11:47:44 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
luxorus
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,034)
Peoria, IL
38, joined Apr. 2014


No-having kids is a phase of an adults life-why judge? Well maybe if she has three kids by different fathers I'd wonder.

7/27/2014 11:50:29 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
28, joined May. 2012


In your 20's, yes there are men that won't date you because you have a child.

But you're really attractive, so I'm sure a lot of guys would overlook it in your case.

I prefer not to date people with kids... but, to be perfectly honest, if I was REALLY into them I would do it anyway. So yeah.

7/27/2014 11:52:33 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
sunnydaythree
Grand Blanc, MI
32, joined Mar. 2014


Don't you think it is a mean question? It is a turn off when somebody doesn't like children.

7/27/2014 12:40:53 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
jackscamaro
Over 2,000 Posts (2,710)
Newark, NJ
45, joined Mar. 2014


No its not a deal killer.

7/27/2014 1:23:36 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
eyes4unow
Pomfret, CT
47, joined Dec. 2013


At this point in my life, I would not date someone with young kids. 17 and older..

So, its a turn off if they are under 17.

7/27/2014 1:37:38 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

stamina1975
Over 2,000 Posts (3,518)
Madison Heights, VA
98, joined Apr. 2012


No. But if she doesn't have her life in order and unfinished business with the father of the child/children, it sure isn't something I'm willing to be a part of. I've learned my lesson. It does throw up a caution sign when a woman has children though.

7/27/2014 1:53:02 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

briantrumpetguy
Alibunar
Yugoslavia
97, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?

Having your life together is pretty rare these days, most of the time it's endless baggage, and the kids are out of control. Guys my age, it's more about how they have aged, as in, if they are falling apart "like too many", then they will avoid a situation where there are kids. Guys with their act together, not just financially but morally, worth their weight in dirt will recognize that a father figure is going to be good for the child, and if they are willing to step up to the plate, appreciate them all the more and don't make them second to your kids, but by your side to help raise them properly.

I've been a step dad in the past, it's a very tough position to be in, great big thumbs up to others that have or are in that spot!

7/27/2014 2:07:25 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
pjadkins
Peebles, OH
47, joined Oct. 2013


If a mom has her life together it is a turn on to me. Being a mom is a difficult job and if she has it together she is a catch. But Ive got kids and know they come first. Some guys want a womans attention all the time and cant share with kids.

7/27/2014 2:15:40 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
amusicluvr
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (23,010)
Salem, OR
64, joined Nov. 2013


It depends upon how well behaved the child is.

7/27/2014 3:39:00 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
don_johnson99
Over 1,000 Posts (1,814)
Janesville, WI
56, joined Nov. 2013


Women of your age that have had kids and have never been married are too stupid for words. Learn about birth control. You should have experienced life before you got knocked up by some dude. You need better self control, self esteem and discipline.

7/27/2014 3:52:55 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

jester0011
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,787)
Lake Waccamaw, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014


My lady has a child.see nothing wrong with it.

7/27/2014 3:54:26 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

cosmicgem
Over 1,000 Posts (1,902)
Springfield, MO
60, joined Jun. 2011


Quote from amusicluvr:
It depends upon how well behaved the child is.


Children are not programed robots. Of course they will mis behave at times. As we All did. But some parents allow their kids to cuss at you etc and have no idea how to parent usually by waiting too late to try to be a parent.

7/27/2014 5:28:45 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

wkw1957
Over 1,000 Posts (1,273)
Enterprise, AL
59, joined Jan. 2010


I look for child-free women myself. Kids are always going to be the first priority in any parent's life. I never wanted any myself and don't always want to be "second" to the kids or grand kids....

7/27/2014 6:02:54 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
dnice0111
Somerville, NJ
27, joined Jun. 2014


to alot of single serious men yes... esp if she doesnt drive, live close, and has her schedule together...

7/27/2014 6:05:30 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

maniacmassager
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (44,327)
Lawrence, MA
51, joined Mar. 2008
online now!


If they need to be watched by a babysitter then yes. i dont want to have to fight for attention and time. teens are fine.

7/27/2014 8:18:53 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (70,620)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


Date a man that has no problem with your child.

7/27/2014 8:57:22 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
munch256
Lansing, MI
32, joined Jan. 2014


I don't have a problem with someone having kids. I want one at one point myself. Whats a turnoff is someone who says that they want a relationship, but goes from person to person getting a dinner or whatever from them. why say you are looking for someone if you are not going to put in any effort?

7/27/2014 9:11:55 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
bamagirl755
Sioux City, IA
48, joined May. 2013


Quote from pjadkins:
If a mom has her life together it is a turn on to me.


Same to me when a guy has his poop in a group...

7/27/2014 9:23:05 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
dad3county5
Hialeah, FL
27, joined Jun. 2013


Only if:

1) There's baby daddy issues
2) Not enough time
3) Not willing to have another if the man has none or if love grows to that level
4) She looks nothing like she used to yet expects someone fit lol
5) Between work and your child, there's not enough time...
6) No baby sitter for dates...

A single woman with no kids is better for someone with no kids.

And even if the man has some already chances are he'll prefer someone who doesn't, for the reasons listed above.

7/27/2014 9:28:02 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
28, joined May. 2012


I don't get why OP expects women with kids not to drive... What does one thing have to do with the other?!

7/27/2014 9:28:54 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

tyakack_
Euclid, OH
25, joined Jul. 2014


Kinda

7/27/2014 11:45:05 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
josfsd06
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,270)
Sioux Falls, SD
58, joined Mar. 2014


Not if she also has grandchildren and NONE of them live with her.

7/28/2014 12:30:00 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

ronleeseberg
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,964)
Mauston, WI
50, joined Jan. 2012


Depends on the situation, I have kids but they are all on their own now.

7/28/2014 1:30:43 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

lynyrd80
Over 2,000 Posts (2,858)
Wood River, NE
55, joined Jan. 2014


If the kids were like my last GF's, completely lazy, that is a problem, and a deal breaker. Ornery kids are great, it proves their mind is working. Over all if a woman has reasonably "normal" kids, not a deal breaker.

7/28/2014 1:48:35 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

mistalee410
Over 1,000 Posts (1,472)
Phoenix, AZ
31, joined Jul. 2014


No? I have a kid.

7/28/2014 11:19:16 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

_pattycakes36_
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,320)
Fayetteville, NC
25, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


I'm more of a family man so I'd say a turn on if everything is right!

7/29/2014 12:16:51 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
49, joined Sep. 2010


I dunno op...what do ya do..get ridda your child if it is?





7/29/2014 8:32:19 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

viper1e
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,790)
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off? Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


Depends on how she treats the kid.

Abuse is bad, but so is smothering.

At some point, ya gotta pop the nipple out, and let the kid grow up.

7/29/2014 10:20:34 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
legaleye
Over 1,000 Posts (1,737)
Columbus, OH
64, joined Mar. 2008


Each situation is different, but be prepared for some issues to arise. Funny though, even when the kids grow up, they may not go away. Look up helicopter parents and see what kind of mess an obsessive parent can become.

When dating someone with children at home, there is a balance to be struck. Be prepared for some "family time" but unfortunately you have to be careful that all the time you spend with her is not "family time." Twice in past relationships I noticed that more and more of the time we spent together also involved children and children's activities, and the amount of adults only time became more and more limited. Both times when I politely, and I stress the term politely, raised the idea of us having more alone time, I was told off. The light in the tunnel was clearly the train.

A the ideal balance for me was see her on a weekday for dinner once a week without kids and then once with kids, and then one weekend have activities with kids and the next have weekend activities without kids. The thing to watch out for, is that your weekend times together without kids become focused on things she needs to get done, as opposed to the two of you having fun doing adult things (not just a sex comment).

One gal decided that me the boyfriend was the ideal guy to work with her on her to do list as an example. I came over to her house dressed to go to Sunday dinner and catch a movie and she was sweaty from cutting grass and wanted me to help her install a garage door opener. Stuff like that.

But this stuff doesnt end when the kids grow up. I was on a dinner date with a lady and every 10 minutes it seemed she got a phone call or text from an adult child needing something.... and she just had to respond to every one and help out the little darlings. She couldnt tell them in advance mom was out to dinner and for the next two hours its emergency calls only. I call those one date wonders, never called her to ask her out again.

Life does though, go on.

7/29/2014 11:08:09 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (69,494)
Fort Payne, AL
61, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


Who have their life together?

you mean doing it all on their own, no government help, no Mom and Dad doing 60 percent of it.?

Her own car, job, money, gas, and etc.

that would be something.

Op, there are so many single moms these days, its likely the biggest draw on the federal tax system....now thats a turn off.

But my hats off to the single people who have kids and and really doing their best to raise good kids.

Anyway with so many like this these days, I guess the guys in that age group are kinda use to it, it was rare in my day, except in the black community.

I guess the only real problem is most people who want kids, want them from their genes, thats only natural and lets face it kids can get in the way of things between two people...time together when wanted and etc.

And he or she runs the risk, they are wanted for the wrong reasons....

So, I think thats why single parents have it harder than the rest.

7/30/2014 3:29:38 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,065)
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


Nope, but then again, most women in my age group have grandchildren.

7/30/2014 5:53:55 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

forumfriendly2
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,894)
Norfolk, VA
40, joined Sep. 2013


no single mom on earth has their life together ....own car but live with mom ...job but no car car but no job job and car but can't pay bills ,welfare welfare welfare ....

7/30/2014 6:05:15 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
mumixam
Albany, NY
46, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


When they are 20 with a kid yes it just shows how irresponsible you are. It don't matter how pretty you are your character is flawed

7/31/2014 1:45:49 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
d_voted
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,160)
Winnipeg, MB
64, joined Sep. 2008


No unless the child is over 18, in the Penitentiary, in a Gang, habitually drugging, drinking or gambling and totally irresponsible.

Little ones are for the young because us old guys physically tire more quickly but they certainly are a BLESSING and if not viewed by the guy that way - HE is not worthy of them or you.

D

7/31/2014 2:20:15 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
drpretorius
Youngstown, OH
46, joined May. 2014


Its all good with me as long as they are well manored and disciplined.I've seen situations where the kids control the parent.I can't handle that.That's when I would run for the hills.

7/31/2014 4:40:12 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
whiteroses_
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,685)
Arizona City, AZ
44, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?



"Behind every strong man is a strong woman, and trust me most single good mommies are strong, so if that turns a man off, oh well, go kick rocks!

7/31/2014 8:08:59 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

itwastuesday
Cincinnati, OH
34, joined Jun. 2013


Complete turn off. I think every reason why you should not has been stated.

Girls with kids are good for a fun time and nothing more. It has to be my kid.

7/31/2014 8:20:07 AM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

mr_bad_robot
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,281)
Cincinnati, OH
42, joined Jul. 2014


At your age OP yes it would be a turn off.

7/31/2014 1:36:08 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

jester0011
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,787)
Lake Waccamaw, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014


Not for me

7/31/2014 1:39:16 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,539)
New Port Richey, FL
81, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from jester0011:
My lady has a child.see nothing wrong with it.



F**ked her deeeeeeep and hard to give her that!!!!!


































J/S

7/31/2014 2:11:15 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

jimtom125
Over 1,000 Posts (1,069)
Lancaster, CA
74, joined Jun. 2013




Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


No; it shouldn’t be, but sadly for some…it is.

7/31/2014 2:26:51 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
showmemomma22
Hackett, AR
31, joined Jul. 2014


I don't think it should matter if that's a turn off! My kids are number one! If that's a turn off to someone, then I don't want to talk to them anyways. Everyone is at different points in their life..being a mom is a beautiful thing with many rewards and challenges! If that's not accepted by someone, they're probably not where you're at in life and that's okay! If I didn't have kids, I don't think I'd date a man with them..and because I do have kids, I won't date a man without them, for the understanding factor..my kids in no way would be meeting a man I was dating anytime soon anyways, but that's just me. They don't want you because you have kids, you sure as hell shouldn't want them!

7/31/2014 2:31:23 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
showmemomma22
Hackett, AR
31, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from forumfriendly2:
no single mom on earth has their life together ....own car but live with mom ...job but no car car but no job job and car but can't pay bills ,welfare welfare welfare ....


Bullshit! I have my own house, car and two jobs! I refuse to live off welfare! Might wanna check your statistics!!!

7/31/2014 2:33:40 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
wastherethen
Austin, TX
57, joined Nov. 2013


Where is the father?

7/31/2014 2:36:55 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
showmemomma22
Hackett, AR
31, joined Jul. 2014


In their life as well...he covers their medical, but I make more money than him, so he doesn't pay child support because I don't ask for it..medical is a big expense.



[Edited 7/31/2014 2:39:17 PM ]

7/31/2014 3:19:28 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

ladybugruth58
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,410)
Patton, PA
58, joined Feb. 2014


if a man has children and cares to be part of their lives, that is a turn on to me. if he pays child support says he is responsible. if he would take them and raise them in his house that would be terrific. anyone can father a baby, it takes a man to be a daddy. I am past being a mommy, but I would enjoy his children

7/31/2014 3:23:30 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
bullit7970
Indian Trail, NC
61, joined Oct. 2012


A turn off only for a jerk.. Kids are our future!!

7/31/2014 3:24:50 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
bullit7970
Indian Trail, NC
61, joined Oct. 2012


Good point there!!

7/31/2014 5:34:45 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

forumfriendly2
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,894)
Norfolk, VA
40, joined Sep. 2013


you didn't plan that kid it was no miracle you got drunk screwed a guy and got knocked up and dumped and stuck with a child ...it's not a miracle or blessing and your not a better person for raising it,if you don't your going to prison stop pretending like taking care of your problem is a major accomplishment making you a better person ...your the same horrible person just with a fatherless kid now

7/31/2014 5:43:35 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
showmemomma22
Hackett, AR
31, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from forumfriendly2:
you didn't plan that kid it was no miracle you got drunk screwed a guy and got knocked up and dumped and stuck with a child ...it's not a miracle or blessing and your not a better person for raising it,if you don't your going to prison stop pretending like taking care of your problem is a major accomplishment making you a better person ...your the same horrible person just with a fatherless kid now
..hoping you're talking to someone else..I was married when I had all 3 kids..they are not fatherless..same daddy..and if you're talking of someone else..who are you to judge? You're an ass..and not shocking you're single..sit tight and get comfy!

7/31/2014 5:44:29 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

jester0011
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,787)
Lake Waccamaw, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014


My girlfriend has a kid.it's a bonus

7/31/2014 5:47:31 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
wastherethen
Austin, TX
57, joined Nov. 2013


The father was there for a while. He left so he wouldn't still have to be there. That place he left is where another man would have to want to be. The situation has a warning built into it.

Why would a woman who ran off the father of her children be wanting a man? For what? Money? Someone to punish for why she hates men in the first place?

7/31/2014 8:15:21 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
soflwill
Over 1,000 Posts (1,744)
Durham, NC
56, joined Jan. 2012


is it a turn off? NO, but it does make things more complex. At your age I would assume that the child is not a teenager but more in the toddler stage, and that means baby sitters or taking the child along on the date. Extra consideration is needed and more planning, a schedule needs to be followed much closer because you need to get home by a reasonable hour. Many men your age don't even understand the limits having a child can put on a mom, so they get frustrated that you can't just drop everything at the spur of the moment and go out on the town for an all nighter. The turn off if there is one, is that being a mom requires you to be more responsible, and they're just not ready to grow up.

8/1/2014 5:45:02 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

kasadoll
Portland, OR
31, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


To me its more the potential legal issues or emotional drama that's more of a turn off. Self preservation working there

8/1/2014 5:46:54 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

kasadoll
Portland, OR
31, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from bullit7970:
A turn off only for a jerk.. Kids are our future!!


Or someone who sees the potential legal/financial/emotional issues of playing daddy to someone elses kid. What biological benefits could a man possibly get from raising someone elses kid?

8/1/2014 5:51:16 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

kasadoll
Portland, OR
31, joined Jan. 2010


Quote from wkw1957:
I look for child-free women myself. Kids are always going to be the first priority in any parent's life. I never wanted any myself and don't always want to be "second" to the kids or grand kids....


THIS!

8/2/2014 4:40:28 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

ambitiouswoman3
Albany, NY
27, joined Nov. 2012


I'm not interested in men with children. Complete turn-off.

8/2/2014 6:24:20 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  

mylegsarecold
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,039)
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011


Quote from kasadoll:
Or someone who sees the potential legal/financial/emotional issues of playing daddy to someone elses kid. What biological benefits could a man possibly get from raising someone elses kid?

Pride. Pride in having a positive influence on someone else's life.

8/2/2014 6:57:12 PM Men, if a woman has a child is that a turn off?  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
48, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from rachhbabiixo:
Single mothers , who have they're life together ... turn off ?


You are so cute OP! I love the pictures on your profile. You look like a barbie doll. As far as your question goes, men will accept the whole package if they are truly in to you and if they don't then you don't want them anyway.