I think your observation is correct. I have also noted that women are slightly more likely than men to want to not have an ex come back into their lives through a side door like that.

I have always attributed the slight difference to the fact that women tend to have a better appreciation of the fact that it is likely to lead to friction. Men, especially younger ones, are more likely to close their eyes to the risks, and only find out later how much of a drag it is to have someone you thought you were done with, now sleeping with one of your other friends or relatives.

It's not a "rule," any more than any other bit of dating advice or lore is a "rule." There are no actual "rules," because there's no rule-making group running everything. Yeah, I know lots of people say this or that is a "rule" of dating etiquette, but that's just social slang. People like to pretend something is a "rule," or even an actual Law, just to make it clear that their mind is made up.

You should never date anyone's X. Why would you want to hurt a friend or realtime ?

Please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way or as me being an a**hole. But...

I never said women ONLY and if I did please go back and quote where I said that.

I said men aren't as convicted which means men do feel that way but its not as many or as imp i rtant as it is for women.

Reading and comprehension skills ROCK!

Women seem to be very adamant about dating someone her friend or family member once dated and vise versa. Men are not as convicted on this.
With women it doesn't matter how long ago it was too.

But can you REALLY say "you're over" someone if you still care about who they date? And how would that look to your new man if you still have all that emtion invested in an ex?

So why is the "No Dating My Ex" rule more imprtant to women than men?

Isn't that the same thing as you said in your OP? I mean, if someone is dating, then they should be able to take their date anywhere without worrying about who is there, right? I mean, if it's over for you, it's over, right? It won't matter if you see them around? Isn't that the point of saying it's OK to date your exes? That the exes don't matter to you one way or the other any more?

But this seems to say something entirely different than that.

However, while I don't care if a friend starts dating an ex of mine, I can see the awkwardness of being in the same places but with different partners. I imagine it would go away in time, though. I mean, what if they get married? Then I'm going to be seeing them a lot because I'm not losing a friendship over it.

I really don't care if someone dates an ex of mine. If they can make it together when we couldn't, good for them. They maybe should have been together from the get go. If I truly love my friend, and I wish the best for an ex, then I want what makes them happy, and if it's each other, great.

Personally, I would think it'd be worse for the ex, cuz wouldn't he be thinking that we're getting together to compare notes on him?

I think that it's only an issue if you're still carrying a torch for someone or still entertain the thought you might get back together. Otherwise, you're indifferent to them and don't care if you see them with someone else.

@ lovethelake:

I see what you're trying to do. lol Twist my words to turn it all back on me but it won't work. Cute try though.

See not caring who they date once I'm done have NOTHING to do with seeing me!

I don't wanna see or talk to my ex. That violates other rules I live by. So my friend being her to my house, my cook out or my birthday party is violating rules I live by.

If I'm in another relationship I don't want no paths being cross between my present and my ex bcuz of all the bullshit that can happen over that.

Even if I'm single there's NO WAY to twist it around to put me in that situation. You know and understand I don't wanna see or talk to her again means right? So twisting things to put her in my face again is blatant disrespect.

No twisting, redefining, in others needed. If my friend who seeing my ex find ANY reason to do that would be cut loose for good.

Bcuz true friends wouldn't do that to you. Make you relive some misery of any sort.

This entire thread just shows how many of you are emotionally damaged through dating someone or having sex with them and then breaking up and having these attitudes that you cannot see the ex, the ex is meaningless, the ex can't date my friends...ugh.
How about approaching dating like you are exploring another person to see if they fit your lifestyle and if it doesn't work well it doesn't work. No harm..you learned you are not right for each other.
Try to be adults going forward!

The adult thing to do is not lust over and pursue a friend or family member ex because its trifling. It's not illegal but damn sure shows you have no respect, morals,or integrity. As man people there is in the world you can find someone else. Plus doing that makes it seem like you were secretly after that person when their relationship was still ongoing.

If a woman is with one of my buddies and she has told him it is not going to work and she is not into him anymore and she is interested in me the three of us will sit down and work out any sore feelings.

When its over, it's over.

If she comes with me and then decides he was better for her then she can go back to him. No hard feelings and what she had with me will be something I treasure and no one can take that away from me.

When it's over, it's over.

Pyglram

Gross for who? You dating someone YOUR friend or family dated?

Or gross for one of them to date your ex?

1. I didn't say "some" women bcuz I'm at a point educationally where I know speaking "in general" refers to whats expected of the majority which would suggest its not "ALL" so there's NO NEED to say "some" when its automatically implied.

2. The women you described is the exception to the rule. Its not what happens on the norm which means its less likely to go down like that. I'm talking on the norm baby.

Women feel ownership over men

Exactly^^^*^*my George he got it.

Its nice to know someone can rise above the typicalism. If you found out that your best friend was seding your ex it wouldn't matter?

What if she never old you and they hooked up a couple weeks after yall broke and you found out through a mutual friend of you both?

A true friend would not. It's not about rules, it's about loyalty.