| 1/9/2015 1:39:35 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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a positive FWB experience?
In another thread, there's a lot of theoretical discussion of whether or not it can work and what it's supposed to mean, but no one is actually sharing any data.
Have you tried it? Was it a true FWB situation, or strictly sex? Did it work? If not, what went wrong?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 1/9/2015 1:44:34 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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ahleah4mriris
Fort Worth, TX
44, joined Jul. 2014
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No. Never tried it 
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| 1/9/2015 1:48:33 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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zane097
Arvada, CO
47, joined May. 2014
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Ruined a good friendship. I developed feelings/she developed feelings that didn't reciprocate. Almost always consequences but there also consequences to not having sex. Which is more tolerable?
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| 1/9/2015 1:50:31 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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zane097
Arvada, CO
47, joined May. 2014
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Those were meant to be numbered as several different situations. Also had one lie about sex history. I didn't like condoms at the time. Case of the willies. Newsflash. People lie.
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| 1/9/2015 2:03:51 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
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No...there actually are no benefits. Why not just call it what it really is...having sex with someone you know and agreeing to it whether it's enjoyable or not. Usually for people who are unfit for relationships and have no interest in romance or love. To each their own...even the "FRIENDS" part is questionable.
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| 1/9/2015 2:09:04 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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tasty_taters
Springfield, IL
35, joined Jan. 2014
online now!
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not purposely........... I had sex with my daughter's mom a few times a couple years before we dated.......... I knew she liked me.......so on a couple rare occasions I'd call her up and we go out on a date and have sex.......
never thought of it as being friends with benefits though.......
^ that happened maybe 2-3 times in a couple year period..
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| 1/9/2015 2:11:53 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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klassy_klown
Bakersfield, CA
46, joined Apr. 2010
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I had a positive FWB experience for a long time, but then we got too attached. . . The moral of the story...
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| 1/9/2015 2:15:12 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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notdeadyet60
Dixon, IL
54, joined Feb. 2013
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Yes. I was in my 40's and she was 29 when we met,after my second divorce. It wasn't really a good idea to begin with since it didn't develop into a friendship, but more of a convenience whenever she wanted money. Sex was the only thing she could offer,since friendship didn't mean anything to her.
I shouldn't have let it happen.
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| 1/9/2015 2:16:12 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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zane097
Arvada, CO
47, joined May. 2014
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No...there actually are no benefits. Why not just call it what it really is...having sex with someone you know and agreeing to it whether it's enjoyable or not. Usually for people who are unfit for relationships and have no interest in romance or love. To each their own...even the "FRIENDS" part is questionable.
So, if for one reason or another (there are many), someone does not wish to be romantically involved with someone, there must be something wrong with them? Staying celibate is a benefit?
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| 1/9/2015 2:17:11 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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tasty_taters
Springfield, IL
35, joined Jan. 2014
online now!
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fwb is a little different than prostitution ....notdeadyet........
although I can see the debate on what's really the difference
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| 1/9/2015 2:33:56 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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machug59
Fairfield, CA
94, joined Dec. 2011
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Never had one.
I have a friend that had one for abouut 5 years. He got a great job offer in another state and moved.
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| 1/9/2015 2:36:11 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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trans58
Texas City, TX
56, joined Dec. 2012
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had a friends with benefits for 5 years it was wonderful
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| 1/9/2015 2:37:48 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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rumrumrum
Mesa, AZ
53, joined Jul. 2014
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| 1/9/2015 2:37:53 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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For everyone saying you've had one and it was good...were you actually friends? I mean, did you talk, spend time together, etc. beyond just hooking up?
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| 1/9/2015 2:40:50 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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gotheon123
Apex, NC
47, joined Jul. 2013
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I'm not judging it, but I never really got the whole FWB relationship.
If I like you as a friend, find you attractive and enjoy having sex with you............
I should be dating you. 
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| 1/9/2015 2:41:54 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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notdeadyet60
Dixon, IL
54, joined Feb. 2013
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fwb is a little different than prostitution ....notdeadyet........
although I can see the debate on what's really the difference
True. I was happy to start a friendship, but she seemed to be more interested in a sugar dad I guess. My fault.
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| 1/9/2015 2:42:36 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Gotheon, do you not think that there are sometimes life circumstances that make relationship-oriented dating a bad idea or just not something a person is interested in?
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| 1/9/2015 2:45:43 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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notdeadyet60
Dixon, IL
54, joined Feb. 2013
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I'm not judging it, but I never really got the whole FWB relationship.
If I like you as a friend, find you attractive and enjoy having sex with you............
I should be dating you.
It should never be any more complicated than this. ^
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| 1/9/2015 2:48:16 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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gotheon123
Apex, NC
47, joined Jul. 2013
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Gotheon, do you not think that there are sometimes life circumstances that make relationship-oriented dating a bad idea or just not something a person is interested in?
Sure I do, but I still don't think I'm going to all of a sudden look at a guy friend and say......
Hey, wanna f**k every now and then.
I understand the thought process behind the idea, I just don't think it's something I would ever do.
It's not a moral thing either, if it came down to it, I think I would rather have a fling or a ONS with a stranger.
Long term probably less hassle too.
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| 1/9/2015 3:05:26 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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I've done 1 per year over last 4 years. Two I met on different dating sites and 2 were old school mates. I'm currently still in one. All four are still my friends, but two I don't care to see anymore, I prefer them to remain as pleasant memories. The two old school mates, we'll be friends for life. It wasn't ALL about the sex, they were ALL my best friends, we dated, vacationed, and just hung out all the time. It works fine for me, I'm not looking for a marriage.
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| 1/9/2015 3:10:22 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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@gotheon - I can see that perspective, but I don't think that when it happens between actual friends, it's as clinical as what you describe.
For me, I couldn't even think about doing the "just sex" thing. Sex with someone I don't have an emotional and mental connection with just seems gross and pointless. But, I equally couldn't imagine intentionally seeking out someone to turn into an FWB (as I've seen many people post looking for).
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| 1/9/2015 3:12:45 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
online now!
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I agree lil...it doesnt work for me...i know if i am attracted to someone and i like them...eventually with sex those feelings are just gonna get stronger...soooo because i know me...i know better than to even attempt a fwb relationship....
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| 1/9/2015 3:24:27 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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gypsiegirly
Provo, UT
48, joined Nov. 2008
online now!
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I have had one FWB, I ended it because I know myself, I start to get attached if I am sexually involved with someone, my feelings get stronger each time I see that person, he wasn't financially or emotionally ready for a relationship. We are still friends and talk off and on but we both know the sex part will never happen again. Some can do it some can't it really depends on the people involved and each individual.
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| 1/9/2015 3:37:35 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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rightguyforu72
Naperville, IL
32, joined Nov. 2014
online now!
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Op do u ever get laid?
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| 1/9/2015 3:44:19 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Quote from rightguyforu72:Op do u ever get laid?
Curious about why you'd ask that in this thread, when I'm one of the few people here who has reported good luck with an FWB situation?
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| 1/9/2015 3:49:03 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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trans58
Texas City, TX
56, joined Dec. 2012
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my friends with benefits we talked weekly went-out about once a month.remember this was all before cell phones. We lived about 50 miles apart
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| 1/9/2015 3:50:36 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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marriedncheatin
Twin Falls, ID
48, joined Jul. 2012
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Op I don't thinkI don't think I've ever had a friends with benefitsI normally just have girlfriends in my goal is to have them addicted to the sex that I give them I'm a Chatty Cathy so I need more substance than a friends with benefits ..I want to talk their f**king ears off until they bleed and friends with benefits is not going to work
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| 1/9/2015 3:50:38 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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leeag
Milwaukee, WI
47, joined May. 2011
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It's always a success really.
There's always one person who's out of their league.
And for that person, it's great.
I've known girls who think that friends leads to deeper things but the guy they're thinking about is jjust plain out of their league
And I've known guys who get a shot at a hottie who just plays them with the carrot that they might get together if it weren't for that a**hole old boyfriend
FWB is always initiated and sustained by the higher value sex appeal person
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| 1/9/2015 3:55:06 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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rightguyforu72
Naperville, IL
32, joined Nov. 2014
online now!
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No. Never tried it
She has slept with a lot of guys. Dont believe her.
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| 1/9/2015 3:55:17 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Always, leeag? That seems a bit extreme. I've seen the circumstance you describe (though I don't think of it as FWB because there doesn't actually seem to be any friendship involved), but it seems to be just one of many scenarios.
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| 1/9/2015 4:00:39 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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rightguyforu72
Naperville, IL
32, joined Nov. 2014
online now!
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Op I don't thinkI don't think I've ever had a friends with benefits I normally just have girlfriends in my goal is to have them addicted to the sex that I give them I'm a Chatty Cathy so I need more substance than a friends with benefits ..I want to talk their f**king ears off until they bleed and friends with benefits is not going to work
Ur not funny
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| 1/9/2015 4:01:09 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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leeag
Milwaukee, WI
47, joined May. 2011
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Quote from lilod:Always, leeag?
Always
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| 1/9/2015 4:04:32 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Quote from leeag:Qu ote from lilod:Always, leeag?
Always
Huh.
That wasn't my experience.
Doesn't sound like it was the experience of some of the other people posting in this thread, either.
Have you ever had a female friend?
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| 1/9/2015 4:07:08 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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marriedncheatin
Twin Falls, ID
48, joined Jul. 2012
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Ur not funny
I didn't make you laugh oh well just look down in between your legs and that should do the trick
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| 1/9/2015 4:11:17 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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dan9787_3
Laval, QC
51, joined Jul. 2014
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Some people who had the experience told me it worked out pretty well and that it depended on the people involved, their maturity, etc
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| 1/9/2015 4:16:12 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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leeag
Milwaukee, WI
47, joined May. 2011
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Quote from lilod:Have you ever had a female friend?
Yup. A smokin hot one
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| 1/9/2015 4:19:41 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Not sure how to respond to that, Lee...seems to blur the issue more than clear it up. That's not typically the first characteristic I think about in my friends.
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| 1/9/2015 5:48:15 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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chambella
New South Wales
Australia
94, joined Jun. 2014
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FWB isn't 'my' thing either.... I have friends, well they are my 'friends' I have no inclination to want to have sex with them... If I am friendly and enjoying someone's company and I am dating them ... and we get romantic we would probably got for it.. but just to call up a friend for sex sounds a bit.. hmmm don't know.. to me it seems like: "Hang out as friends, when we both know, I know, the only reason why we are hanging out cause we want sex from that person.."
I guess not for me.
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| 1/9/2015 5:49:34 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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^^yeah I didn't either but it had been 7 long years..and No it didn't work out and he got attached. Net result, lost a friend now that I'm with someone.
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| 1/9/2015 5:49:59 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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rightguyforu72
Naperville, IL
32, joined Nov. 2014
online now!
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Not sure how to respond to that, Lee...seems to blur the issue more than clear it up. That's not typically the first characteristic I think about in my friends.
 
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| 1/9/2015 5:50:58 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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chambella
New South Wales
Australia
94, joined Jun. 2014
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^^yeah I didn't either but it had been 7 long years..and No it didn't work out and he got attached. Net result, lost a friend now that I'm with someone.
Yeah it must feel a bit awkward ...
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| 1/9/2015 5:54:21 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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no it was really great fun sex, so much so we booked the room for the next weekend.
but yeah he wouldn't go to any of our group friend functions when I started bringing Sweetie along, (as many do with their significant others, trivia night at hot wings, etc.) too bad.
he got weird about it.
I'm sure some folks pull it off successfully I just wasn't one of them, and I was right up front about it...he pulled the getting weird about it. It was great sex 
but we already knew we weren't compatible for day in day out or else I'd have dated him.
[Edited 1/9/2015 5:54:58 AM ]
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| 1/9/2015 5:56:38 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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wench_doctor789
Atlanta, GA
38, joined Nov. 2014
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Fun while it lasted and he's a Facebook friend
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| 1/9/2015 6:20:40 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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bill_i_am2
FPO, AP
52, joined Apr. 2010
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It seems people promoting the FWB life choice or life style really do not
know what a friend is and are confusing it with an acquaintance
Maybe it should be called AWB, but of course it doesn't sound as catchy as FWB
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| 1/9/2015 6:22:01 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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For everyone saying you've had one and it was good...were you actually friends? I mean, did you talk, spend time together, etc. beyond just hooking up?
OP...there are different names for different things.
Technically speaking a f**k buddy, is just two people meeting up for regular sex, they come over, do it and go.
Technically a FWB is a step or so above that...or more
To some, its the same thing as a f**k buddy, but to others its more....and it can be whatever they agree on before it happens, which is a good idea to do so there are no misconceptions. But some are almost like a boy and girl friend, where they spend the weekend together, go out and do things. Watch movies, have dinner and etc.
They just draw the line at those kinda feelings where it makes it an official conventional relation, however they can still care for each other as friends would....even show passion and romance in the sex...and can be a monogamous situation or not....depending again on what they agree on.
Which is why, in enough cases, it either turns into a relation....or one gets deeper feelings and the other doesn't...and it ends because of that....leaving one hurt.
But, I've heard of some having one for years and it worked out.
I think it should be renamed Friend/lover.
I tried it once and it went into a relation....
and I think there are more here having them, than will admit to it on here.
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| 1/9/2015 6:36:05 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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ibane
Zanesville, OH
43, joined Feb. 2014
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Its all interpretation ...I have a friend..and she's a beast in the sack..we go out occasionally. ..but its mainly for sex cuz her sugar daddy aint worth a dam at it.
I call her a fwb and she calls me all kinds of weird shcitt
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| 1/9/2015 6:56:16 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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I think it should be renamed Friend/lover.
I agree L VER is a great definition.
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| 1/9/2015 7:00:04 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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How can you not HAVE HAD a positive FWB relationships that's the point crazy looking chick! It was just sex and yes I had to help out if the chick needed a little cash every now and then like MOST other types of relationships. Basically a dedicated prostitute but much cheaper. Gee kinda like marriage!
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| 1/9/2015 7:12:49 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
49, joined Apr. 2013
online now!
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For everyone saying you've had one and it was good...were you actually friends? I mean, did you talk, spend time together, etc. beyond just hooking up?
In my case yes..
We spent time together without sex many times, helped her with stuff around a house, offered one to paint her kitchen when she asked me if I know a good painter, etc.
So yes, it seemed we were dating..
And that was the issue..She started to think we are dating, and started to talk about "future", almost getting ready to get down on her knee..LOL
NO, not for that..
So IMO that is the main difference between dating, and FWB.
And that is my answer to that quote below..
I'm not judging it, but I never really got the whole FWB relationship.
If I like you as a friend, find you attractive and enjoy having sex with you............
I should be dating you
[Edited 1/9/2015 7:15:23 AM ]
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| 1/9/2015 7:15:42 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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kawkasian
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014
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I expect all the women who demand 'friends first' and got it were pleased.
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| 1/9/2015 7:23:08 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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miscbyproduct
Cleveland, TX
54, joined Apr. 2012
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"Was it a true FWB situation, or strictly sex?"
throws the whole thing right back to wide open.
i suggest, every one "you" associate with, in "your" own personal time, is a FWB.
How many friends "you" have that are of no benefit?
where is it written got to date, or include sex, or a particular type of exchange, other than benefital?
mere conversation is benefitial.
the whole FWB thing is twisted word play for perpetrating a image painting farce.
bf/gf has become archaic.
fwb too
now, it's "networking"
gawd help us all ifn any of it included feelings without a all out life long commitment.
BTW,whats that called these days?
The sex part you question:
not all included sex.
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| 1/9/2015 7:32:54 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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miscbyproduct
Cleveland, TX
54, joined Apr. 2012
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wonder what really happened at the new years celebrations.
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| 1/9/2015 10:07:58 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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pdforone
Litchfield, OH
63, joined Jul. 2010
online now!
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Isn't dating in general a FWB experience? You date, do things together, including sex and see where it leads?
The sex can be great? but there needs to be more for a real relationship? and sometimes all the pieces of the puzzle just don't fit? Everyone probably has their own way of forming attachments? and their own expectations of the direction they will lead to?
I was happily abused as a sex object by some women! At some point you do have to ask yourself, is this going any farther, and is it what you are really looking for?
People are like puzzles, you can't take two separate puzzles and expect all the pieces to match, knowing when to move on without anger about the pieces not fitting is always good!
Sometimes it is just better to move along and start searching for a better fit?
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| 1/9/2015 10:26:22 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
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I've a long time friendship that has gotten physical a few times over the decades.
Probably would have dated her but we've never lived in the same city since High School.
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| 1/9/2015 10:29:49 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
51, joined Dec. 2007
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Yes I had a situation like that shortly after my separation (2002). We were both military officers [different service], both legally separated (our own homes) but not ready to have anything serious (both were sharing custody of kids, etc). Just like minded people who had similar interests and needs.
It lasted until she wanted more and I wasn't ready for that. (Too logistically complicated).
We had one last wonderful night. Said farewell as reasonable adults and went our separate ways.
I'm not so sure it always goes that way. The parties have to be emotionally mature, stable, logical and strong minded.
Eventually one party or the other will want more-nothing wrong with that it's just a reality you have to be prepared for ahead of time.
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| 1/9/2015 10:30:17 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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sir_hugo_drax
Big Timber, MT
24, joined Apr. 2014
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I never CALLED it that, but that is precisely what it is. I have a "friend" back at school. We talk, go out, study together, and have sex. But there are no demands or titles placed upon each other. There are no time requirements or restriction placed upon each other.
As a matter of fact, it's a pretty typical relationship from what I've observed around my campus...
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| 1/9/2015 10:30:59 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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kerseymorris
Tavares, FL
54, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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I've done it once. .. it worked for us.It lasted for almost a year and i actually introduced him to his gf... and yes still casual friends no benefits. . Lol
Not something i recommend for everyone or in every situation.
Don't know if I'll ever do it again? ?? But it was right for us at that time in our lives and i have good memories and have no regrets.
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| 1/9/2015 10:41:44 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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I am quite obviously..not..mature..stable.nor logical...
I hv feelings..emotions...passion.
And I want sex to include those...I know..I am stark.raving insane...
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| 1/9/2015 10:45:04 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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mustangwriter
Boerne, TX
54, joined Nov. 2009
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a positive FWB experience?
In another thread, there's a lot of theoretical discussion of whether or not it can work and what it's supposed to mean, but no one is actually sharing any data.
Have you tried it? Was it a true FWB situation, or strictly sex? Did it work? If not, what went wrong?
Yes. Twice.
But I went and ruined it by getting married.
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| 1/9/2015 10:53:35 AM |
Has anyone actually HAD |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Not for me Pd....I dnt date to hv sex...
I dnt sleep.with a date...
I hv heard men say...Oh we are ONLY dating....
ONLY is the key word.....that made me realize how many ppl see dating.
I make it clear how I see dating.
I am not comfortable with being seen as ONLY anything if sex is involved...he can find that with someone who.is cool with ONLY ....
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