3/12/2015 8:34:43 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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How long can you deal ?
Mine is working my last nerve..
I love him very much , but he seems to believe I don't need anyone else in my world...I had friends. .can't hang with them.
My only friends are at work and on here...
Saw a girlfriend I hadn't seen in almost 7 years and can't hang with her...im getting really pissed
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3/12/2015 8:38:27 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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Try having a long sit down with him. I know guys hate ultimatums but with the amount of time that you had with him it's very appropriate. Loosen the leash, or lose you.
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3/12/2015 8:41:58 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009
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You're stupid enough to date an abusive jerk so don't complain! You probably dissed a hundred nice guys to date that piece of terd.
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3/12/2015 9:04:28 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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What the hell driver..that's not cool.
He's not a piece of turd and im not complaining. .sheesh
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3/12/2015 9:06:31 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Try having a long sit down with him. I know guys hate ultimatums but with the amount of time that you had with him it's very appropriate. Loosen the leash, or lose you.
Thanks for that good advice. .
I did the sit down, but I don't want to give the ultimatum because he'll flip
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3/12/2015 9:11:11 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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ohdannyboy59
Arlington, TX
55, joined Sep. 2012
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I can't deal with unfounded jealousy. Besides, it's often just the tip of a very ugly iceberg.
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3/12/2015 9:12:18 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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Well this fight is inevitable. You can either let his bullying rule your life or put your foot down and tell him to back off. He's smothering you siren and the suffocation can only get worse. Don't let him believe that this is acceptable.
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3/12/2015 9:28:09 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
46, joined Sep. 2014
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You're stupid enough to date an abusive jerk so don't complain! You probably dissed a hundred nice guys to date that piece of terd.
If you're not complaing what a are you pissed for?
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3/12/2015 9:28:57 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Thats easy to say..but this is also the same man who runs my bath water..lotions my skin..rubs my back rubbs my feet..sings to me..dances for me..opens doors, pulls out chairs
Cries with me when im crying I can go on forever. .
This is our only downfall....this jealousy for no reason
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3/12/2015 9:29:50 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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pickygirl72
Phelan, CA
44, joined Sep. 2011
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Get away now!
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3/12/2015 9:30:22 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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If you're not complaing what a are you pissed for?
I made this thread maybe an hour ago..I was at the time ..but not so much now
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3/12/2015 9:32:29 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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Does he hang out with any friends of his own?
[Edited 3/12/2015 9:33:02 PM ]
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3/12/2015 9:37:12 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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I wish!
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3/12/2015 9:38:49 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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Alright. You could try asking him if he would be alright double dating with one of your super shy friends and a guy from work you're trying to hook her up with.
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3/12/2015 9:41:33 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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See this whole conversation should have been something I can call a girlfriend and gripe about but..no friends now
When I did have friends I'd call he'd sit right there listening. .if I wanted privacy I''was hiding'' something. .
My friends did not get along with him..especially my best friend.
Which is odd because every boyfriend I ever had has Loved
Her..he basically hated her said she was trouble. ......
[Edited 3/12/2015 9:42:33 PM ]
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3/12/2015 9:43:36 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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That's cause some of the best men in the world can really be a**holes.
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3/12/2015 9:45:25 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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I guess I can't have it all....and thats ok ..he'd honestly be perfect to me if he'd let me loose a little.
Im not going any damn where
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3/12/2015 9:53:59 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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Does he monitor your Facebook account like a hawk? It's a great way to get in touch with old peeps.
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3/13/2015 12:02:48 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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spaceface79
Des Moines, IA
35, joined Mar. 2014
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This sounds bad, love.
You should be able to see friends. He is not your husband, and you are not obligated to submit to him.
But, even if he were, his design is to give to you. Not to take from you.
I suggest you go see your friends, and let the situation play itself out. Pray on it first.
From personal experience, do not allow yourself to become financially dependent on this man.
Take care.
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3/13/2015 12:17:53 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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I wouldn't let myself ever be financially dependant on anyone in my life. ..
He isn't stengy with anything and im not either. .but we share a home and all income is house income. .
I just give up on the friends. .it was too much drama earlier just talking about it and I haven't even went any darn place. .
[Edited 3/13/2015 12:19:23 AM ]
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3/13/2015 12:24:18 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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naturebiy
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011
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Op..
You are a cool person, and by no means am I trying to disrespect you.
I feel that humans are not possessions. .and that people are going to do what they please for the most part regardless of how their partner feels..
Have you done anything in the past with your friends..such as sleep with one.. that would cause him to be jealous?
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3/13/2015 1:47:01 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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soundzgood
Long Beach, CA
47, joined Feb. 2014
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Unresolved Oedipal issues. It doesn't sound like you are going to get away without
a SCENE or worse. A direction is needed that will work. There are a couple you could
take. A) Completely 'submit' to his entire fantasy ....do it all his way & knock on
wood. The lengths involved in 'pretending' or having to 'fake' it are of mo import....
just play it off like you mean it. B) Realize that he is not going to change and this
may just as well be another lady....he just happened to be given the chance to target you
to fulfill his 'situation'. And now you're "IT". So unless A) is OK then a safe exit is
needed. C) The safest exit is to decide in your mind as to "how long" you could do
choice A).......Say that you could submit fully to his wishes for 2 more months for
example. So you make sure you just submit (without explaining this to him...otherwise
you'll set your self up for more problems.) Give your two months of full submission to
his wishes (and IF there's been no feet fluttering out of you) THEN......you can call him
out & sit the boy down & show him that you DID try & NOW you want to be left alone for
a while. His knowledge that he KNOWS you tried is what will prevent him from 'losing'
it. This is the only chance of freeing yourself without a potential NIGHTMARE. Pardon me
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3/13/2015 1:51:19 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009
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You know, that's a really bad sign, Sirens. Ensure he isn't isolating you from others. The wonderful and loving treatment you're getting may only be meant to disarm you.
You do need to sit down with him and discuss it. You don't have to give an ultimatum. But you do have to figure out if he's grooming you or if he's just in need of a good talk. It concerns me that he has cultivated no friends or outside interests, either.
Sometimes it's just so wonderful and heady finding the person who is so compatible and who you see a future with so that you can't imagine ever needing anyone else around. But sometimes it just may be that it's a dangerous omen.
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3/13/2015 2:08:03 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
51, joined Oct. 2013
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See this whole conversation should have been something I can call a girlfriend and gripe about but..no friends now
When I did have friends I'd call he'd sit right there listening. .if I wanted privacy I''was hiding'' something. .
My friends did not get along with him..especially my best friend.
Which is odd because every boyfriend I ever had has Loved
Her..he basically hated her said she was trouble. ......
He seen her as a threat to his relationship with you.Someone there in telling you things might always be what they seem? You need someone in your life on the outside looking in sometimes,friends can see sometimes what you cannot...unfortunately they can be the best judge of character.
Hope for your sake he backs off in giving you a little space?...if not??...then you got some serious issues at hand.
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3/13/2015 2:14:20 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
51, joined Oct. 2013
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You're stupid enough to date an abusive jerk so don't complain! You probably dissed a hundred nice guys to date that piece of terd.
Are you always this happy and go lucky?
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3/13/2015 2:23:03 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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manniblelector
Vancouver, WA
36, joined Apr. 2013
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Only way to fix this is by leaving him.
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3/13/2015 2:24:59 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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cavie59
Enid, OK
55, joined Feb. 2010
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How long can you deal ?
Mine is working my last nerve..
I love him very much , but he seems to believe I don't need anyone else in my world...I had friends. .can't hang with them.
My only friends are at work and on here...
Saw a girlfriend I hadn't seen in almost 7 years and can't hang with her...im getting really pissed
You need to break up with him. What you are seeing is the first signs of entering into an abusive relationship. By isolating you from your friends, he is trying to control you.
The longer you stay, the worse it will become.
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3/13/2015 2:32:54 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
51, joined Oct. 2013
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Only way to fix this is by leaving him.
What about a little outside intervention first, before you throw in the towel?..Council isn't out of the question just yet.Also who could argue with seeing things from a different perspective?... if there is an argument there with this?...then this would be an option to consider...leaving.
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3/13/2015 2:44:49 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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jthartman126
Bristol, PA
24, joined Feb. 2014
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Talking is always a better option as opposed to just saying to hell wth it and leaving. Unless you don't wanna make it work. Then youre just wasting everybodys time lol
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3/13/2015 5:15:29 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
46, joined Sep. 2014
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I wouldn't let myself ever be financially dependant on anyone in my life. ..
He isn't stengy with anything and im not either. .but we share a home and all income is house income. .
I just give up on the friends. .it was too much drama earlier just talking about it and I haven't even went any darn place. .
You are needy....if he doesnt want you to have any friends..that means you are dependent on him emotionally.
No man cant tell me to get rid of my friends .
If he gets upset about you and your friends he's being possessive and no telling what can happen later.
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3/13/2015 5:27:36 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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naturebiy
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011
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The only way I would get upset with her and her friend..
If I was in a relationship. .
Would be if what her and her friends are doing is not right and destructive to me.
[Edited 3/13/2015 5:27:57 AM ]
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3/13/2015 5:56:29 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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lovetodoit
Buffalo, MO
59, joined Sep. 2011
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Control freaks are not conducive to a good relationship, he probably won't change.
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3/13/2015 6:00:24 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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letitridegirl
Louisville, KY
38, joined Aug. 2014
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The only way I would get upset with her and her friend..
If I was in a relationship. .
Would be if what her and her friends are doing is not right and destructive to me.
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3/13/2015 6:02:19 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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letitridegirl
Louisville, KY
38, joined Aug. 2014
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Actually it is just called trust and respect and if you don't have that you have nothing!
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3/13/2015 6:03:59 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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Elisa78
GhurianAlmerÃa
Spain
36, joined Jan. 2015
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U should talk to him, sometime insecurity make a man jealous.
Stupid i know but are men in the end of a day.
i sure u too will be fine.
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3/13/2015 6:19:28 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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oppsiidazi
Orr, MN
45, joined Oct. 2014
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How long can you deal ?
Mine is working my last nerve..
I love him very much , but he seems to believe I don't need anyone else in my world...I had friends. .can't hang with them.
My only friends are at work and on here...
Saw a girlfriend I hadn't seen in almost 7 years and can't hang with her...im getting really pissed
^This is not a healthy relationship. Get counselling. It will
only get worse in time. Before you know it, he won't let you leave the house
without permission. Just speaking from experience. Get some help, quickly, to help
him with his insecurities.
[Edited 3/13/2015 6:20:27 AM ]
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3/13/2015 6:28:08 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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twining
Anderson, SC
23, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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That is a very good point. Not to seem like a downer but charm is one of the cruelest forms of abuse. From the way that you've described him he seems mercifully ruthless.
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3/13/2015 8:12:11 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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You are needy....if he doesnt want you to have any friends..that means you are dependent on him emotionally.
No man cant tell me to get rid of my friends .
If he gets upset about you and your friends he's being possessive and no telling what can happen later.
How am i needy..hes needy lmao..
Yeah. ...this makes no sense to me but whatever you say ma'am
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3/13/2015 8:17:40 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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^This is not a healthy relationship. Get counselling. It will
only get worse in time. Before you know it, he won't let you leave the house
without permission. Just speaking from experience. Get some help, quickly, to help
him with his insecurities.
I forgot how dramtical yall can be...I will always be able to leave the house.
I could actually hang with friends its just not worth the drama if I do
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3/13/2015 8:39:55 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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dixie_dancer
Kansas City, KS
26, joined Feb. 2013
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I'm not supporting him, I'm just offering a devils advocate position.
He does all these sweet caring things. He is totally smitten and cares. Maybe he cares 'too' much in that he can't get enough time with you. Perhaps he is clueless to the smothering. Maybe you just need to open his eyes. I had a boyfriend like that. He truly didn't see he was pushing people away from me. Because that wasn't his motive. His motive was spending as much time with me as he could.
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3/13/2015 8:42:33 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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oppsiidazi
Orr, MN
45, joined Oct. 2014
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I forgot how dramtical yall can be...I will always be able to leave the house.
I could actually hang with friends its just not worth the drama if I do
I wasn't being dramatic. However, I thought the same as you at first. Good luck with it. Much more than I had.
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3/13/2015 8:53:12 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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tonguekiss79
Wappingers Falls, NY
35, joined Jul. 2012
online now!
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Jealousy is a normal emotion. How we react to jealousy is the important thing. To be jealous is fine. To make someone else suffer because you are jealous is not.
You can't have love without trust. It's not real if you don't trust them.
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3/13/2015 9:56:59 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
52, joined Oct. 2013
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I didn't read all of the posts but in my experience it's not likely that he will get any more comfortable with you having friends as time goes on.
The opposit is what I have seen, my ex wife loved the fact that I had so many friends when we first got together. But after many years of being married to me that is one of the reasons she stated for leaving me, she felt I spent too much time with friends.
I've always been the type of person who encouraged my lady to keep in touch with and do things with friends.
Relationships are great,
Good luck!
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3/13/2015 10:49:26 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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I wasn't being dramatic. However, I thought the same as you at first. Good luck with it. Much more than I had.
Snippy..
I didn't mean dramatical in a horrible way..I consider you a friend on here and didn't mean to offend
It just seemed dramtical me not being able to leave the house soon ..in the real world I have to leave the house to work and earn a living so no ..I will never be a prisoner in my home like that
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3/13/2015 11:13:02 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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kmack73
Knoxville, TN
42, joined Aug. 2014
online now!
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How long can you deal ?
Mine is working my last nerve..
I love him very much , but he seems to believe I don't need anyone else in my world...I had friends. .can't hang with them.
My only friends are at work and on here...
Saw a girlfriend I hadn't seen in almost 7 years and can't hang with her...im getting really pissed
Those are abusive ways, look up power and control wheel on the internet... Plus he's just a boyfriend, not a husband.... Chuck him the duces
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3/13/2015 11:19:47 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Im not chucking any deuces....this is his only downfall id be crazy to leave because of one thing wrong..
That's not cool...he's always there for me more than any man ever.
Its not like he's abusing me...he just gets really ''hurt'' when I need someone besides him. Which is ridiculous. ..im a woman, I want to talk trash with a girlfriend every now and again. To him that means he's not''good'' enough
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3/13/2015 11:33:32 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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Offcell
Seattle, WA
21, joined Feb. 2015
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I tell him in order to have a strong relationship we must have trust and if you can't trust me then we can't be together.
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3/13/2015 11:44:52 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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That's a rational thing to do...it just isn't that easy ya know.
We share a home and bills and a life thats been a''strong routine'' we have down day to day..
And I move or he moves because I can't have friends?
It just seems so drastic of a measure to talk to some friends
I do miss them though...
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3/13/2015 11:54:37 AM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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Offcell
Seattle, WA
21, joined Feb. 2015
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I understand... you'll just have to come to some solutions when the time is right.
I haven't dealt with this much so I can't give you much of some she's advice but I hope with whatever may happen you get through it and good luck!
[Edited 3/13/2015 11:55:39 AM ]
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3/13/2015 12:00:16 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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kawkasian
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014
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How long can you deal ?
Mine is working my last nerve..
I love him very much , but he seems to believe I don't need anyone else in my world...I had friends. .can't hang with them.
My only friends are at work and on here...
Saw a girlfriend I hadn't seen in almost 7 years and can't hang with her...im getting really pissed
Reverse the tables and tell him he can't see any of his friends...or simply laugh in his face.
He's trying to lay down ground rules, you need to lay down yours...
[Edited 3/13/2015 12:00:47 PM ]
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3/13/2015 12:14:01 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Oh! That would be great if he wanted to hang with his friends. .he had friends when we got together about two years ago..but slowly but steadily he stopped hanging with them...id love for him to go to his buddies to chill so I could do the same with mine ......
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3/13/2015 12:15:30 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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cubcougar
Lucerne, CA
62, joined Oct. 2010
online now!
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You're stupid enough to date an abusive jerk so don't complain! You probably dissed a hundred nice guys to date that piece of terd.
This guy is just like her Dad ... no one under the apple tree but me ... toxic sick prick.
THIS MAKES HER WET !!!
someone who gives her freedom, has nothing to prove .. no control issues ...
loves her and will give him self to her ...
she don't want a Man ..she only wants boys.
Who ... yup ... are just like her Dad.
He is stuck in his Toddler Tantrum out of his Duck Disease.
and so is she.
She has to change her .. to change who she picks.
Hey it could be worse .. she could be in love with Ted Bundy or Adolf Hitler.
Incest is best in that Catholic crowd.
George and Baba Bush are kissing cousins ... and their kids are incest offspring.
So they are bit twisted.
sumbuddie wear blind sea
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3/13/2015 12:21:11 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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That lookes like much to do about nothing. ..
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3/13/2015 12:25:56 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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truckerdaddy915
El Paso, TX
39, joined Feb. 2014
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Oh! That would be great if he wanted to hang with his friends. .he had friends when we got together about two years ago..but slowly but steadily he stopped hanging with them...id love for him to go to his buddies to chill so I could do the same with mine ......
And you don't see this as evidence that this guy is a psycho?
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3/13/2015 12:32:30 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Yeah.....a psycho who rubs my feet every night, believes in my dreams, fixes everything around the house and has been the only man that ive ever been with who didn't drool over my best friend. ....lol
[Edited 3/13/2015 12:33:28 PM ]
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3/13/2015 12:33:06 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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acdmv
Scarsdale, NY
47, joined Aug. 2014
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I tell him in order to have a strong relationship we must have trust and if you can't trust me then we can't be together.
^ This!
Sorry to hear about this hun.
He obviously doesn't trust you and his insecurity is ruining the relationship for you both. If it were me: I'd say that I WILL hang with my friend who I haven't seen in years, yet I'll text you a few times when I'm with my friend to say Hi, and let you know everything is cool...
At least that would help him start to deal with his trust issues a little better...
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3/13/2015 12:35:07 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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I made this thread last night and I was pissed..but I never stay mad for long..we kissed and made up as always. ..
I think he might just be whipped
Whatever that means.........
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3/13/2015 12:35:27 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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b2cold
Bark River, MI
22, joined Mar. 2014
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[Edited 3/13/2015 12:35:50 PM ]
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3/13/2015 12:57:15 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
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Also there are two children that would be devastated going through a custody battle
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3/13/2015 1:26:08 PM |
Dealing With a Jealous boyfriend |
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tinmanfromla
Fresno, CA
60, joined Apr. 2014
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This is from a guy......
You haven't seen your friend in almost 7 years and your boy friend won't let you see her ??
AND....
He won't let you have any friends outside of work ??
I think it's time to pack your things and move on....
I'm betting he has friends and sees them...this is called a double standard !
If you don't want to leave him...put your foot down and go see that friend and go ahead and have friends outside of work !!
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