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3/23/2015 2:18:53 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

turbosupraman
Severna Park, MD
30, joined Sep. 2010


Would anyone be ok with their girlfriend or boyfriend going and partying with their ex with their phone off on a regular basis? This is coming from a girl that claims to not drink or do drugs too btw and she says I can go hangout with my exs too as long as I tell her I'm not attracted to them now and coming back to her...any of this sound good for a relationship that you want to last?

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3/23/2015 2:39:04 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

ltlwing
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,770)
Williamsburg, OH
51, joined Oct. 2013


No... you are not insecure.She is playing both ends.

3/23/2015 2:49:31 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
unique_woman
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,908)
Omaha, NE
27, joined Dec. 2014


I wouldnt be OK with that & it doesnt sound good for a relationship you want to last.

3/23/2015 2:58:59 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

naturebiy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,445)
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011


Perhaps you may need to ask her what kind of relationship she wants.

3/23/2015 3:01:06 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Do you know any of her friends or family members

3/23/2015 3:10:31 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
amusicluvr
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,002)
Salem, OR
62, joined Nov. 2013


It would not work for me. My new GF can be with me, or with her ex, but not both of us. She would have to choose, or I would choose someone else. For me, over is over. If she is still seeing him, it is not over, and I will not be a third wheel.

3/23/2015 3:10:51 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Do have any ex's that you left on good terms

3/23/2015 3:14:27 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

naturebiy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,445)
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011


Op..

Have to watch out..

You know what comes next?

Honey... we are having a baby!

Than you are on the Maury show.



3/23/2015 3:16:42 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
sarahgoldsmith
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,042)
Stamford, CT
44, joined Jan. 2014


I think u should talk to her. She should take your feelings into consideration. She should bring other friends along with her if she is hanging out with her ex. So it doesn't look like just the two of them are hanging out alone together.

3/23/2015 3:17:34 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
playground1
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,401)
Los Angeles, CA
53, joined Feb. 2011


No. You are not
she's crazy
She's playing games
life is too short
Dump her and move on

3/23/2015 3:18:50 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Just do what you think is wise. Either way it's gonna be your fault. Remember this

3/23/2015 3:25:44 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,668)
Enid, OK
55, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from turbosupraman:
Would anyone be ok with their girlfriend or boyfriend going and partying with their ex with their phone off on a regular basis? This is coming from a girl that claims to not drink or do drugs too btw and she says I can go hangout with my exs too as long as I tell her I'm not attracted to them now and coming back to her...any of this sound good for a relationship that you want to last?


If she is still partying with an ex on a regular bases, she is more than likely using you.

I would tell her to go and enjoy her ex and do not return.

3/23/2015 3:29:17 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

acdmv
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,813)
Scarsdale, NY
47, joined Aug. 2014


You're in a FWB type-relationship OP....You just haven't realized it yet.

3/23/2015 3:29:43 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (47,298)
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


Dude, if someone just wants to see an ex. that they left on good terms with...just as seeing a friend and the location is neutral....you might accept that once or twice.

but to go to a party with them and shut off their phone, that's different.


She either has something going on with both of you or considering going back with him.

Drop her and move on.

3/23/2015 3:39:02 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
dream445
Over 2,000 Posts (2,485)
Cottonport, LA
36, joined Oct. 2014
online now!


The phone off she's giving up the pooh nanny

3/23/2015 3:40:13 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


He did have her first
She likes to share

3/23/2015 4:00:54 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

kmack73
Knoxville, TN
42, joined Aug. 2014
online now!


Bruh......did she break up with the ex. Or did he break up with her??? If he broke up with her, I hate to tell ya, you are a bandaid.... She is still trying to win back his affection, but keeping you in the loop in case it backfire... I know if it was me.... I could or would not be able to handle that, not good for you nor her... You're wondering if she doing wrong, and her having to deal with you trusting her.... I mean.... The past should be just that, the past!!!! Set your boundaries now!!!! But to be honest, I would cut her loose, even if you give a altamatim she'll just do it with out telling you.....

3/23/2015 4:27:03 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,713)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


depends on how long y'all have been dating, why type of relationship do you have? (special caveats like you're just banging and nothing else, stuff like that)

are exclusive?
(have actually had that "we agree to not sleep with other people" conversation")

I know I'm not insecure and if someone I was in a committed relationship with was "partying" with their Ex, I'd probably have an issue with that. Maybe not too..it'd depend on a lot of things, who broke up with who, are they friends before you came along, etc.



Tell her you're going partying with your Ex and going to have your phone off while y'all have some partying fun and see how she reacts..if she jumps to "you're cheating" well lets just say we know what's on her heart and mind.

3/23/2015 4:29:11 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

aphrodites_trut
Baltimore, MD
30, joined Oct. 2014


Dude, if you have to ask, you already know enough.

Even the fact that she's throwing up this wall and has no consideration for your feeling is enough to back off. Anyone who truly cares for you is going to weigh the pros and con's and decide that an ex is not worth losing someone she is currently in love with- or at least, that what an honest girl would do if she was actually interested in you.

To me, it sounds like you are too into her and are ignoring the obvious. Man, you're being played, bruh. This is coming from a girl who's done it and recognizes it.

The only way she's gonna start having desire for you is if you man up and tell her your personal boundaries and that if she's doesnt like them, she can go f**k off in a merry wonderland with her ex and some other new chump.

This is a no brainer dude, sorry.

3/23/2015 4:30:20 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

ltlwing
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,770)
Williamsburg, OH
51, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from txrose64:
depends on how long y'all have been dating, why type of relationship do you have? (special caveats like you're just banging and nothing else, stuff like that)

are exclusive?
(have actually had that "we agree to not sleep with other people" conversation")

I know I'm not insecure and if someone I was in a committed relationship with was "partying" with their Ex, I'd probably have an issue with that. Maybe not too..it'd depend on a lot of things, who broke up with who, are they friends before you came along, etc.



Tell her you're going partying with your Ex and going to have your phone off while y'all have some partying fun and see how she reacts..if she jumps to "you're cheating" well lets just say we know what's on her heart and mind.



Yeah...reversing the situation tells the tale...I agree!

3/23/2015 4:33:37 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

snarky__muffin
Sichuan
China
43, joined Mar. 2015


If you're not okay with it, tell her how you feel. She'll either stop, or she won't. But once you know, go from there.

I try to use the "reasonable person" theory. Would a reasonable person be okay with that scenario? I'm guessing not.

It would be one thing of they were meeting for lunch once a month or something. But partying? That's just asking for trouble.

3/23/2015 4:37:19 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

utfan2015
Knoxville, TN
37, joined Mar. 2015


An ex is the past for a reason and needs to be left there. I dont get it at all.. My ex was friends or whatever with several if her ex's and spoke to them daily and it ended up being the end of us because of the issues it caused between us constantly.

3/23/2015 4:40:12 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
be_great
Over 2,000 Posts (3,292)
Houston, TX
41, joined Dec. 2014


(Sigh)


....is she satisfied when you have sex with her, dude? Does it look like she wants to have sex when you want to or does she find a way to call it off??

I think she's with you for who you are but sexually, you may not be satisfying her. And that's where the ex comes.

But she can't lose you either. So, it's sex with the Ex, but you're her boyfriend.


My advice, when she comes in next time, hurry and get her in the mood for sex right away.

If she acts uncharacteristic and get angry that you coming on to her for sex, something is up, buddy.

And even if she gives you sex....be very attentive to how she smells. There's a certain smell after sex on both Man and Woman. Pay attention to that.









[Edited 3/23/2015 4:42:37 AM ]

3/23/2015 5:22:01 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,327)
Dayton, OH
53, joined Apr. 2014


can't really answer the question as asked. Her behavior doesn't indicate here level of mental health.

I don't think you are necessarily "insecure" but you aren't demonstrating strength of character or confidence.

You clearly are not pleased with the situation but you are still putting up with it. By your telling of it, you have tried discussing it with her. Having no real success with that, you are now taking it to strangers on the internet…for what?

3/23/2015 5:23:56 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,713)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


Quote from ltlwing:
Yeah...reversing the situation tells the tale...I agree!



absolutely...I knew when my ex was cheating he was always accusing me of it, going through my car's trash and such..pure projection.

3/23/2015 5:29:25 AM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
mortara
Over 2,000 Posts (2,985)
Pittsburgh, PA
61, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from dream445:
The phone off she's giving up the pooh nanny


It very hard to keep a cell phone off the hook but you can turn them off. I alway have mine off when I visit my various girlfriends.

3/23/2015 12:14:15 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

playingindirt
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,833)
Eugene, OR
59, joined Mar. 2014


I don't see it as an insecurity issue.

people have to live their lives in a way that works for them. so does she whether it be right wrong different or whatever.

If her idea of a relationship isn't like yours find someone that has the same idea of what a relationship is.

3/23/2015 12:15:19 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

kawkasian
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,127)
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014


Would anyone be ok with their girlfriend or boyfriend going and partying with their ex with their phone off on a regular basis?

Erm, I'd say you were a f**king idiot for putting up with it.

3/23/2015 12:15:52 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
46, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from ltlwing:
No... you are not insecure.She is playing both ends.


Yup....
And she got op believing her.

3/23/2015 12:16:19 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Just marry her already

3/23/2015 12:17:45 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

kawkasian
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,127)
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014


Just marry her already

...After you've washed the other dudes semen stains out of her clothing.

3/23/2015 12:18:56 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


That's his girlfriend your talking about

3/23/2015 12:19:21 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,713)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


it's not a matter of insecure or crazy..it's muddying the waters to what the real issue is. imo.

3/23/2015 12:19:30 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

stregaleonora
Over 2,000 Posts (2,407)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Op you feel for yourself that something is wrong...means that you don't feel ok with those BS...



Thete are other girls Op....



...just avoid ambiguous people: people who are clear and direct with their actions are also more concrete and respectful....



Just my opinion.

3/23/2015 12:20:28 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

lilod
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,163)
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012


What does it matter what we think? Clearly, it's not working for you.

3/23/2015 12:20:59 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

kawkasian
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,127)
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014


That's his girlfriend your talking about

His?

3/23/2015 12:21:22 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

stregaleonora
Over 2,000 Posts (2,407)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from kawkasian:


...After you've washed the other dudes semen stains out of her clothing.


If he marries her gotta buy a very large washing machine....

3/23/2015 12:21:24 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

happy_geezer
Over 1,000 Posts (1,748)
Patchogue, NY
56, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from kawkasian:

Erm, I'd say you were a f**king idiot for putting up with it.



This. Thread over./

3/23/2015 12:25:09 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
mylegsarecold
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,452)
Green Bay, WI
52, joined May. 2011


Quote from ibeenseenitall:
Just marry her already

And the ex could be the best man.

3/23/2015 12:26:24 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

happy_geezer
Over 1,000 Posts (1,748)
Patchogue, NY
56, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from mylegsarecold:
And the ex could be the best man.



And they could have a honeymoon threesome.

3/23/2015 12:26:32 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Hopefully he can find a date at the wedding.

3/23/2015 12:28:27 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Send one of his single aunties after him

3/23/2015 12:29:57 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

1sirens
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,035)
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from acdmv:
You're in a FWB type-relationship OP....You just haven't realized it yet.


3/23/2015 12:37:43 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
amusicluvr
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,002)
Salem, OR
62, joined Nov. 2013


Quote from ibeenseenitall:
Do have any ex's that you left on good terms


It isn't a matter of good, or bed, endings. It is a matter of ended is ended. I leave all on good terms, but when I leave I leave. Once I end it with you-or you end it with me-I'm not hanging around for the occasional FWB sex, so you will have a fall back when your new BF does something to upset you. I am not running errands for you, paying your bills for you, etc. I'm not going to house sit, or dog sit, for you while run off to Vegas for a f**kfest. I am moving on, and devoting myself entirely to my new flame.

3/23/2015 12:41:11 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


And that's how you feel. Anybody else wants to express their feelings?

3/23/2015 12:41:38 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

urealysucklol
Over 2,000 Posts (2,795)
San Benito, TX
43, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from turbosupraman:
Would anyone be ok with their girlfriend or boyfriend going and partying with their ex with their phone off on a regular basis? This is coming from a girl that claims to not drink or do drugs too btw and she says I can go hangout with my exs too as long as I tell her I'm not attracted to them now and coming back to her...any of this sound good for a relationship that you want to last?
wow! Dump her now! She's screwing him, dude u can get a disease or worse aids

3/23/2015 12:44:00 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
teeheehee_
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,689)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


I looked at your topless pics. Hehehehee

3/23/2015 12:45:26 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

stregaleonora
Over 2,000 Posts (2,407)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from happy_geezer:
And they could have a honeymoon threesome.


Or they can go all together in a honey moon with all the guys she F@@#k in a bus trip, and the Op drives.

3/23/2015 12:48:01 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

stregaleonora
Over 2,000 Posts (2,407)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from amusicluvr:
It isn't a matter of good, or bed, endings. It is a matter of ended is ended. I leave all on good terms, but when I leave I leave. Once I end it with you-or you end it with me-I'm not hanging around for the occasional FWB sex, so you will have a fall back when your new BF does something to upset you. I am not running errands for you, paying your bills for you, etc. I'm not going to house sit, or dog sit, for you while run off to Vegas for a f**kfest. I am moving on, and devoting myself entirely to my new flame.


..sounds Healthy!

3/23/2015 12:48:14 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

renee398
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


Where there's smoke, there's fire. Don't give her a choice just let her go. Once she's started that she won't stop. If a girl is serious ,she hangs on to what she wants,, there's no room for partying with an ex.

3/23/2015 12:49:44 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
mylegsarecold
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,452)
Green Bay, WI
52, joined May. 2011


Sounds more like you are crazy for allowing it and she is insecure with you.

3/23/2015 12:51:38 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

spaceface79
Over 2,000 Posts (2,034)
Des Moines, IA
35, joined Mar. 2014


Tell her you want to go out with them. Check the response/outcome.

3/23/2015 12:52:18 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014


Can you believe her words? Are you okay hearing her say she's not doing something wrong? You can't can you

3/23/2015 1:00:43 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

renee398
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from spaceface79:
Tell her you want to go out with them. Check the response/outcome.



If he cares about her, then she agrees to let him go with them ha that is asking for trouble unless he is strong enough to turn his back and walk away.

3/23/2015 2:28:39 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
sarahgoldsmith
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,042)
Stamford, CT
44, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from amusicluvr:
It would not work for me. My new GF can be with me, or with her ex, but not both of us. She would have to choose, or I would choose someone else. For me, over is over. If she is still seeing him, it is not over, and I will not be a third wheel.


You are too strict. LOL

I wanted to have a boyfriend, but my boyfriend said no. He is such a strict guy. He won't let me have a boyfriend.

He is such a bad sport.


3/23/2015 2:41:53 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
be_great
Over 2,000 Posts (3,292)
Houston, TX
41, joined Dec. 2014


That Ex is boning the shit out of her. Dude got it good while the OP is just a "nice guy" she needs in her life to get by as far as a social companion on a personal level.

The Ex just gives a direct service to keep her well-pleased and satisfied; f**king her brains out.

And she comes home tired and ready to go to sleep and will talk to you "tomorrow", OP.


She playing both sides but the EX is in the superior position here.



[Edited 3/23/2015 2:43:12 PM ]

3/23/2015 3:26:34 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  
kamlila0
Wilmington, NC
58, joined Oct. 2014


No It isn't even normal for her to still be hanging around with her ex. I would move my butt right on up the road and you could find someone else to fill her shoes. You don't need to put up with that at all. She is crazy and like I said just move on.

3/23/2015 8:24:00 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

wellndowed83
Windsor Mill, MD
31, joined Feb. 2014


Sadly enough, this type of behavior is typical of women from Maryland. Some of the most trifling women on earth... OP, best bet is to get outta there!

3/23/2015 8:26:14 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

Elisa78
GhurianAlmería
Spain
36, joined Jan. 2015
online now!


Quote from bumblebee7:
Dude, if someone just wants to see an ex. that they left on good terms with...just as seeing a friend and the location is neutral....you might accept that once or twice.

but to go to a party with them and shut off their phone, that's different.


She either has something going on with both of you or considering going back with him.

Drop her and go on



agree

3/23/2015 9:30:30 PM Am i insecure or is she crazy?  

stregaleonora
Over 2,000 Posts (2,407)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from wellndowed83:
Sadly enough, this type of behavior is typical of women from Maryland


Every time I think I have already heard the most possibly idiotic things....arrives John Doe and shows me wrong