Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?

12/29/2015 3:48:27 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	I recently had to delicately admit to a potential date that I truly did not feel any chemistry towards him. I took a little time talking and texting, coffee, etc because I thought he was a good person. Who knows? Maybe I'd become physically attracted??? Long story short, he was pissed and accused me of being too picky and having too many choices. The dude tried to mentally shame me. Then tried to make me jealous and tell me that he has a date this weekend. I dodged an a**hole. I say, follow your gut and the chemistry. Has anyone truly ever generated chemistry that wasn't instantaneous? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
12/29/2015 3:58:38 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
easttowest72 Bremen, GA 43, joined Sep. 2014	I would say no. The best thing is to move on. Just keep going to meet and greets till you find someone you want to see again.
12/29/2015 4:18:32 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	thx east. Some folks take it personally and try to make you feel bad. I didn't get any acknowledgement for trying. The way a person handles rejection or disappointment reflects their true nature.
12/29/2015 4:25:52 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
dasnixter Jessieville, AR 57, joined Jul. 2010	Acquired taste requires time. Regardless of effort some were never meant to be. People becoming angry because someone isn't attracted unto them are hypocrites at best. The vast majority of the time they either don't care for you or they aren't your cup o' tea.
12/29/2015 5:14:11 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 49, joined Aug. 2013	It's about evaluating, listening and paying attention. There are limitless clues a person gives off through body language and other means. A soft well placed word, a slight touch on the arm, a held gaze, etc... What I am saying is this. Obviously, we love it when there's that person that just makes your lip curl. But, sometimes you can be missing something if you're not attentive. Depends on what you're looking to gain from the evening.
12/29/2015 5:30:47 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	das...I don't think this fella believes that women get rejected too. He just assumes I have my pick of the crop. I politely tried to explain that is a fallacy. We all have to deal with rejection and disappointment. I'm adding Emotional maturity to my must have list ! joe...indeed. Getting to know someone should be casual and without expectation other than enjoying each others company for the moment. If something more develops then there is a time and place for that discussion of expectations.
12/29/2015 5:33:18 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
teeheehee_ Montreal, QC 34, joined Jun. 2014	I tried that once unsuccessfully.
12/29/2015 5:39:12 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
bandit__geezer Patchogue, NY 57, joined Oct. 2015	Nope
12/29/2015 5:42:11 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
testsignup Springfield, VA 62, joined Sep. 2009	Quote from pagal17: I recently had to delicately admit to a potential date that I truly did not feel any chemistry towards him. I took a little time talking and texting, coffee, etc because I thought he was a good person. Who knows? Maybe I'd become physically attracted??? Long story short, he was pissed and accused me of being too picky and having too many choices. The dude tried to mentally shame me. Then tried to make me jealous and tell me that he has a date this weekend. I dodged an a**hole. I say, follow your gut and the chemistry. Has anyone truly ever generated chemistry that wasn't instantaneous? Well, it depends on exactly what you mean by "generated chemistry." I've seen plenty of instances where someone insisted they felt nothing, but ended up in bed with the other person anyway. Most of the time, I assumed that their original claim was a lie, said in order to play whatever game they were enjoying at the time. I've also occasionally seen people who changed their minds or sensibilities about someone over a period of time, thinking at first that they were only good for friends, and coming later to appreciate them otherwise. Rare, but happens. One big thing I've seen happen, is positive results from "negging." Look that up, if you don't recognize it. Now again, in my opinion, "negging" only actually works, when the woman DOES already feel physically attracted, but needs to given an excuse to go ahead with the physicality; but people who use "negging," always claim that the negging actively caused the attraction to occur. Can't say I've ever seen someone do what your guy was trying to do, though. The "petulant whiny child, stamping his foot and demanding candy" technique usually doesn't even work when one IS a little child.
12/29/2015 6:19:25 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 50, joined Jul. 2013	Sometimes people go on dates just to see if there's a connection, not always it is, no reason to get upset say goodbye and go
12/29/2015 6:23:45 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
iheartidiots Grove City, OH 38, joined Feb. 2012	Yes. And no. I think women know within minutes. It's a sure fire no. Not attractive. But there are instances with the possibly no/maybe comes into play. He's great. Funny. Attentive. Smart. Witty. Over time, that becomes more and more clear. His face starts to change. You see him differently. You find him attractive. Both have happened to me.
12/29/2015 6:25:11 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
iheartidiots Grove City, OH 38, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from joe4u2explore: It's about evaluating, listening and paying attention. There are limitless clues a person gives off through body language and other means. A soft well placed word, a slight touch on the arm, a held gaze, etc... What I am saying is this. Obviously, we love it when there's that person that just makes your lip curl. But, sometimes you can be missing something if you're not attentive. Depends on what you're looking to gain from the evening. Yep! This!
12/29/2015 6:32:07 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
nurseshanna1972 Buda, TX 43, joined Oct. 2013	can not say for a fact you can or can not. I can attribute many of my early relationship failures or what was thought to be chemistry between the two of us. But those that knows me knows that was a disaster. I have great chemistry and relationships between Cliff and Donna and there was nothing there at first. We was all just in friend zones and it was years with Cliff. But all that time chemistry ( or steady trust ) grew and here we ( Donna, Cliff and I )are.
12/29/2015 6:34:54 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	tests...I learned a new urban word. Thank you. So that's what you call it! I was totally negged Sunday. Guess I was a smart as and asked for it. Was fun. Can't say the negging contributed to the chemistry. It was there before the negging started. I think a person can enhance attraction with their personality. I was hoping for that with the guy who failed to appreciate that I didn't automatically dismiss him based on lack of chemistry on my end. He's a fool. Don't think he has negging skillz
12/29/2015 6:35:58 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	Quote from iheartidiots: Yes. And no. I think women know within minutes. It's a sure fire no. Not attractive. But there are instances with the possibly no/maybe comes into play. He's great. Funny. Attentive. Smart. Witty. Over time, that becomes more and more clear. His face starts to change. You see him differently. You find him attractive. Both have happened to me.
12/29/2015 7:09:32 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	I usually look for someone who can be good a companion over chemistry. Sometimes passion is never built in the relationship and things stall out in the romance department. Sometimes things gradually change once you get to know them better. That happened with the man I was dating in 2012. I wasn't originally attracted to him when I first met him. He wasn't my type. The first kiss, however, was pretty good. It was a sweep you off your feet kiss... a good strong, passionate kiss. He was pretty good at doing fun things with me too. When it came to sex, we talked about being exclusive beforehand. So, that was another thing that I liked about him. Oh... and he also opened the car door for me (re: your other post). He was great in bed too! However, I didn't start feeling like I adored him until we were having sex for a couple weeks and he invited me to watch him play baseball. He's a great baseball player. I admired that about him. I'd cook him dinner. We'd go walk down to the beach at midnight and sit on the dock. It was nice and romantic. I sometimes forget how much fun we had. So, I am going to say... yes chemistry can change if there is a good first kiss, fun companionship, the sign of good values, good sex, and other admirable qualities. However, the 2 month honeymoon period can sometimes fade away. You never really know someone until you've had your first fight. I suppose it's better to know someone is an azzhat upfront than to become attached to a person only to find out later.
12/29/2015 7:14:18 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	lucky...the first fight shows their real self. I've found out the hard way how immature some folks can be during the first fight. Can be very disappointing. Sorry your ex was an asshat.
12/29/2015 7:37:27 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
flyfish77 Conyers, GA 50, joined Jul. 2014	you have to have a beginning,a starting place,my mother met my stepdad about 1965 or so,didnt care much for him,but he was smitten with her,an back then you didnt just give up immediately..he said... shes the most beautiful woman he,d ever seen,we all had some bad circumstances in months to come,but he helped her a lot,and us,an they were married a year or so later,and the affection,and things grew over the years where they were priceless to each other,now both are gone,but if they say no thanx nowadays,,your a stalker.. if you say anything else,or try any more to take them out etc, ..so dang dumb..a form of persistance without goin weird about it can be a good thing..or not..i dont want no one who has no interest in me,but i may still talk..and be nice to them a while.most allways just came to me all my life,or wrote a card or letter etc...
12/29/2015 7:44:04 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
idliketotalk Punxsutawney, PA 53, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from teeheehee_: I tried that once unsuccessfully. Please Tee, can we try again? I'll bring more beer the next time plus vodka for the next morning so that our generated chemistry does not fizzle so quickly.
12/29/2015 7:48:53 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
SadisticSienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Nov. 2015	In this case the guy was an ass, so I'd say no for this case. I am a uncertain kind of person so initially I'd probably not be sure anyway and then see how it goes. That's just me though
12/29/2015 7:59:22 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
flyfish77 Conyers, GA 50, joined Jul. 2014	if all had your personality,and cute innocence..or just your simple niceness,it would be a much better place..some women give no chance,and only know cussing and being very mean..so tragic.but you and pagal and a few others are like beautiful..hopeful bright lites to me.
12/29/2015 8:14:00 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
SadisticSienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Nov. 2015	Aww thanks that means a lot to me, really appreciate it ^.^
12/29/2015 8:19:06 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
flyfish77 Conyers, GA 50, joined Jul. 2014	its only the truth sweety,but ..lo.theres some on here that need there a** busted like a mean 12 year old rotten kid,and there in there 40,s,,they even act nice to some others who they think they know.these ned a change to nice chemistry.
12/29/2015 10:14:03 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
up2youandme Chandler, AZ 40, joined Jan. 2014	Quote from pagal17: thx east. Some folks take it personally and try to make you feel bad. I didn't get any acknowledgement for trying. The way a person handles rejection or disappointment reflects their true nature. I don't know about that cut and dried valuation of a person. But I do know that if you keep an open mind and a situation presented itself you might be surprised at the outcome.
12/30/2015 12:17:47 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
purplehazze1 Urbandale, IA 46, joined May. 2014	No
12/30/2015 12:52:45 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
grneyesrme Sacramento, CA 47, joined Aug. 2013	Normally for myself if it's not there from the beginning it won't ever happen but one time it grew. Never say never!
12/30/2015 1:13:44 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014 online now!	Chemistry? Sparks? Has become such BS nowadays. It call comes down to is those DAMN feelings and emotions. Only now it has to be instantaneous. First date, if not, on a second date and that's only if he's attractive enough or spent enough money the first time. This is the major reason for so many single moms. Women will base a relationship on sparks and chemistry BS. No real standards, rules or ethics. Just feel chemistry / sparks then start commitment bcuz your "feelings" say so. The presence of emotions is the absence of good judgment. Always!
12/30/2015 2:52:26 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
SadisticSienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Nov. 2015	This is the major reason for so many single moms. Women will base a relationship on sparks and chemistry BS. The reason for single moms is sex and sex with little or not sufficient protection. Then obviously having sex early into a relationship. Just spells for disaster. They might not of even dated the guy for that long then get pregnant lol In dot points reasons would be 1. Dating culture 2. Sex early in 3. Not good protection [Edited 12/30/2015 2:53:07 AM ]
12/30/2015 2:59:15 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
apokernut Elk Grove Village, IL 53, joined Jan. 2008 online now!	Quote from dr_i_got_answer: Chemistry? Sparks? Has become such BS nowadays. It call comes down to is those DAMN feelings and emotions. Only now it has to be instantaneous. First date, if not, on a second date and that's only if he's attractive enough or spent enough money the first time. This is the major reason for so many single moms. Women will base a relationship on sparks and chemistry BS. No real standards, rules or ethics. Just feel chemistry / sparks then start commitment bcuz your "feelings" say so. The presence of emotions is the absence of good judgment. Always! Money?? Yeah. I suppose there can be chemistry to money!
12/30/2015 3:05:02 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 60, joined Apr. 2011	It sounds like attraction from looks is the only thing you judge chemistry by. and its possible, you weren't being picky or whatever, so he was wrong there. It may have been apprehension that you'd have with anyone. Sometimes relations from the past can cause this in a person to where they don't even realize it. You may have dodged a bullet, he may have dodged a bullet. I've had chemistry be there in the beginning, I've had it later, after I got to know the person better.
12/30/2015 3:07:55 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 60, joined Apr. 2011	Quote from dr_i_got_answer: Chemistry? Sparks? Has become such BS nowadays. It call comes down to is those DAMN feelings and emotions. Only now it has to be instantaneous. First date, if not, on a second date and that's only if he's attractive enough or spent enough money the first time. This is the major reason for so many single moms. Women will base a relationship on sparks and chemistry BS. No real standards, rules or ethics. Just feel chemistry / sparks then start commitment bcuz your "feelings" say so. The presence of emotions is the absence of good judgment. Always! you have to remember, your dealing with mostly ten year olds in adult skin, where image is everything due to not enough real life experiences in things they are protected from, that if they weren't protected from them....they'd not go by images so much....thus not be ten year olds in adult skin. Remember my references to those initial beginnings the genders have.
12/30/2015 6:26:33 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
testsignup Springfield, VA 62, joined Sep. 2009	Well, a lot of this, and other common TALK about relationships, is better understood if you step back a little, and recognize that a lot of people do and say things based on what they hear and see in others, rather than because they've done the work in themselves, to make sure it's all real. What I mean is, people talk about "Chemistry," because so many people are already talking about chemistry. Once the catch-all term was made popular, all the talk about it became the kind of "background noise" which makes all sorts of things appear to be true, which are really just convenient metaphors, or even complete nonsense. Politics is similarly infested with concepts which are really only supported by the fact that everyone has been taught to believe them. At the core, we humans want to have a good time in our lives. We do what we THINK will make that happen. We call for changes that we have HEARD will have that result. The concept of "chemistry," has become a modern superstition. It's even based on magic, for goodness sake. People are supposed to just "know" that they do or don't have "chemistry" with another person, within moments of meeting them. Hilariously, although most people consciously switch to making fun of "fairy tale" concepts of love, and stroke their egos to celebrate that they no longer believe in princes and princesses and happily ever after, they will chatter away about "chemistry" as though it's a more scientific and rational approach to dating. But it's really just a one-for-one swap of one myth for another. But take note: It's also just as ludicrous to go whole hog the other way, and completely discard all of this. Playing the "above and beyond it all" game, and patting yourself on the back for "seeing through the BS" is often just another inside out self-delusion.
12/30/2015 7:37:24 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
jjp184 Somerset, NJ 52, joined Jun. 2013 online now!	if the chick refuses to give oral on the first date, she's probably very selfish
12/30/2015 7:55:28 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
idliketotalk Punxsutawney, PA 53, joined Oct. 2013	If a man and a woman are stranded somewhere by themselves long enough "chemistry" will occur. You know, like in an elevator for a few minutes.
12/30/2015 9:53:33 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	Interesting point, Testsignup. I like your take on it.
12/30/2015 10:26:08 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 66, joined May. 2010	A Man can be all man, in my book, and that is okay with me, but he needs to know where and when he can be a poppy head or not.
12/30/2015 11:10:22 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
viper1e Jeannette, PA 57, joined Dec. 2013	Quote from pagal17: Has anyone truly ever generated chemistry that wasn't instantaneous? Of course! It's SO easy.. Look at these! Feel their power!
12/30/2015 12:36:27 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
sgrig Grantville, PA 57, joined Nov. 2013	i can't believe people believe they know anyone after the short time of a few dates...how often is it that we meet someone and because we were around them long enough we learned just how special that person is...even our friends...when you have your hour of need are they there for you??....when the chips are down i do believe that's when you learn the most about someone ...the chips were down and he showed what an a** hole he is...move on...no sleep lost there.....it's the ones you reject that you didnt give enough time that got away that i'm more concerned with....i lost my best friend over 7 years ago and noone has come close to that relationship since...i wish you luck
12/30/2015 1:51:47 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pickygirl72 Phelan, CA 45, joined Sep. 2011	Nope, I tried that with a guy for a year. We were TOTALLY compatible. I did more activities in a year with him than with my ex hubby of 20 yrs. He was kind and sweet. We got along great. We were a copule for a year but... no chemistry for me. I enjoyed being with him but I knew my like would never turn into love. I thought over time it would change. I had to let him go, great catch, but not for me.
12/30/2015 3:14:59 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	picky...gotta give ya your props for trying. I've tired and wished it could work but there's something missing. It's not fair to the other partner. They deserve more too.
12/30/2015 3:23:40 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
cupocheer Assumption, IL 66, joined May. 2010	No
12/30/2015 3:32:48 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
amron1926 Washington, DC 51, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from pagal17: I recently had to delicately admit to a potential date that I truly did not feel any chemistry towards him. I took a little time talking and texting, coffee, etc because I thought he was a good person. Who knows? Maybe I'd become physically attracted??? Long story short, he was pissed and accused me of being too picky and having too many choices. The dude tried to mentally shame me. Then tried to make me jealous and tell me that he has a date this weekend. I dodged an a**hole. I say, follow your gut and the chemistry. Has anyone truly ever generated chemistry that wasn't instantaneous? I think it's possible, providing the other person has a good personally and is a generally a decent person. I think if you spend enough time talking and Listening to a person, you'll feel the chemistry. I also think that it's important that you have a few things in common, like values, outlook on life and some other common interests, to start off. Good personal hygiene is a must for me and can be an instant deal breaker, chemistry or not. However I think good chemistry is important for any relationship, sometimes it's instant, sometimes it comes overtime once you really get to know someone and sometimes it never happens, especially if you're just too different. However, if two people really like each other enough and they both have the same desire, I think anything is possible. By the way that guy was a jerk and your intuition told you to back away.
12/30/2015 3:38:48 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	OP - That guy was a jerk, but you were a bit of a clown. The "instant chemistry" you sometimes feel is NOT generated by the other person, or the circumstance. It is generated by you-the one feeling it-and is a sort of 'high' from all of the brain chemicals you OD-ed on by expecting so much from an encounter. Your expectations create a form of nervous tension, the tension increases anticipation, which increases tension, etc, until you half give yourself a mental orgasm.....perhaps even a physical orgasm, too. You could do the same with any / every one you meet...but generally do not. Why you choose to generate so much anticipation, tension, etc, over a particular encounter....the guy is especially tall, he reminds you of your dad, or whatever-only you could know. If you choose to not generate 'chemistry' at first sight, you can choose to generate it further down the road....falling hard for a previously platonic pal, or whatever. That would be up to you. Letting your sub-conscious mind-rather than your conscious mind-direct your 'chemistry generating' is easy, and seems more romantic....blaming Karma, Fate, God, or whatever...but it is really just you doing it all. Learn to take conscious control of your chemistry generating, and you may enjoy life more. [Edited 12/30/2015 3:40:06 PM ]
12/30/2015 3:47:40 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
cavie59 Enid, OK 56, joined Feb. 2010	Quote from pagal17: I recently had to delicately admit to a potential date that I truly did not feel any chemistry towards him. I took a little time talking and texting, coffee, etc because I thought he was a good person. Who knows? Maybe I'd become physically attracted??? Long story short, he was pissed and accused me of being too picky and having too many choices. The dude tried to mentally shame me. Then tried to make me jealous and tell me that he has a date this weekend. I dodged an a**hole. I say, follow your gut and the chemistry. Has anyone truly ever generated chemistry that wasn't instantaneous? Here is the very reason that very few women will ever find a good man. They want that instant chemistry, that normally happens when they meet that men that are attractive, rich, unpredictable, and have that rough edge. Look to the world of chemistry and you will see that instant reactions are short lived, while those that take time to build last longer.
12/30/2015 5:01:14 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	cavie...puhleeze! I've spent months with some nice guys and realized they deserved someone who would be crazy about them. I have tried. I've had two powerful chemical connections in the past. You can't fit a square peg through a triangle. I've also had to gracefully accept equal rejection as well. Not all women fit under your generalized blanket assessment. It's not fair to the other person. Do you want someone who is kinda, sorta attracted to you? Would you be happy with that? [Edited 12/30/2015 5:04:18 PM ]
12/30/2015 5:55:10 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
bezt Australian Capital Australia 95, joined Aug. 2014	Don't feel bad about it.. obviously you two are not compatible 'Next' For me i can't make myself be compatible with anyone... i know it has worked for others.. but not for me..I would rather be alone.
12/30/2015 8:27:23 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 63, joined Oct. 2009	I say he's right. At YOUR age you don't want to do anymore than hold hands upon New Years Eve do you? Who needs chemistry? That's for the kiddies in here. You know you may have wondered where all the NICE GUYS are, the REAL MEN.......... I'm guessing YOU had him, YOU dumped him. What did you expect him to do? Be content to be put down by the likes of you? Wait to be dissed by his date again? I'd have broke up with your sorry a** too and I would have done it right away. Men won't give a woman respect when she shows none of it herself. NO WONDER you still single or DIVORCED! You always treat guys so bad?
12/30/2015 8:29:25 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 63, joined Oct. 2009	Quote from bezt: Don't feel bad about it.. obviously you two are not compatible 'Next' For me i can't make myself be compatible with anyone... i know it has worked for others.. but not for me..I would rather be alone. Shows what you're doing in here then. So picky Christ Herself couldn't make one up to your exactly standards! You deserve to be alone then. May you be happy in the life you have chosen.
12/30/2015 8:32:56 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
kuhlt Grass Lake, MI 49, joined Feb. 2011	I think so. Chemistry is important, there's no doubt about that. Its all just a matter of communication a lot of times
12/30/2015 9:20:35 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
testsignup Springfield, VA 62, joined Sep. 2009	I think a lot of us look for "chemistry" even MORE, after we go through a marriage or several failed relationships. The big promise of "chemistry" isn't just the wonderful sensuality. It's the overall ability to settle in with someone at your side, who you can turn and just plain enjoy life directly with them, without worrying about every little chance you might offend them. I've myself, been through too many relationships where the proportion of "working hard to make things go okay" to "enjoying being a couple" was about ten to one. I REALLY want the kind of chemistry next time, where I don't have to do that. That's why I really do understand the people who, especially later in life, are more likely to hit the eject button sooner rather than later. I don't mind a bit if a woman, no matter how attracted I am to her, realizes quickly that I wont "do it" for her, and moves on firmly and politely. The last thing, LITERALLY the last thing I want to have to do any more, is to have to PERSUADE someone to spend time with me.
12/30/2015 9:28:53 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
amron1926 Washington, DC 51, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from testsignup: I think a lot of us look for "chemistry" even MORE, after we go through a marriage or several failed relationships. The big promise of "chemistry" isn't just the wonderful sensuality. It's the overall ability to settle in with someone at your side, who you can turn and just plain enjoy life directly with them, without worrying about every little chance you might offend them. I've myself, been through too many relationships where the proportion of "working hard to make things go okay" to "enjoying being a couple" was about ten to one. I deeply want the kind of chemistry next time, where I don't have to do that. That's why I really do understand the people who, especially later in life, are more likely to hit the eject button sooner rather than later. I don't mind a bit if a woman, no matter how attracted I am to her, realizes quickly that I wont "do it" for her, and moves on firmly and politely. The last thing, LITERALLY the last thing I want to have to do any more, is to have to PERSUADE someone to spend time with me. This
12/30/2015 9:34:24 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
flyfish77 Conyers, GA 50, joined Jul. 2014	if they dont come to me naturally through chemistry or a combination of things,i,ll never beg,or plead or ask,i will be niice,and compliment them..some have taken me wrong at times,and am glad there finally realizing it,and saying so. if they cometo me,and are nice and not 5,,2 and 250 or so..well then we shall see,im nice to everyone.every cute an pretty woman who shows there selfs friendly cause they really feel it...only..women,please dont be afraid to take a compliment..
12/30/2015 10:21:57 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 50, joined May. 2012	test...
12/30/2015 10:42:13 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	Quote from testsignup: The big promise of "chemistry" isn't just the wonderful sensuality. It's the overall ability to settle in with someone at your side, who you can turn and just plain enjoy life directly with them, without worrying about every little chance you might offend them. This is ideal.
12/30/2015 11:14:38 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
eyesofmedusa San Antonio, TX 51, joined Jun. 2012	I see a big diff between...chemistry and synchronicity...if I am using the word correctly. Chemistry is that fire...butterflies...jittery...all on...GO... Question...for all those who hv had that ? How long did the relationship last ? Now the second..much harder to find...and in my opinion..much longer lasting and about much more than chemistry... The first one led me into some...well..Oh Sweet Jesus [Edited 12/30/2015 11:15:18 PM ]
12/30/2015 11:26:27 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
sandycrabs Land O Lakes, WI 48, joined May. 2011	Yep,,, I break out the Butter and start it burning.
12/31/2015 9:38:37 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
idliketotalk Punxsutawney, PA 53, joined Oct. 2013	Some folks you hit it off with right away and some folks grow on you, and then there are some that you just don't dig from the get go and some fall from your graces. Enjoy what you can and don't dwell on the rest. It is at times difficult to tell someone you really are not into them right after you just had sex with them. At least you gave it your all! [Edited 12/31/2015 9:40:03 AM ]
12/31/2015 11:51:41 AM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
helena036 Sanford, FL 40, joined Aug. 2012	I meet a guy many years ago. Thought nothing of him at first. Absolutely no chemistry. If he asked me then for a date I would have said No to him. He lived in the same complex I did, and we shared the same friends. After months of getting to know him, the chemistry grew. We ended up dating for more than a year. Would have been a great bf to keep if it was not for his anger control issues while drinking. Too bad I did not see that one upfront. Normally when my spidy seances say its not a good match, its for a good reason. Dodged many of bad apples by sticking to my initial thoughts. But for your question, yes chemistry can grow...sometimes.
12/31/2015 1:22:59 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
mortara Pittsburgh, PA 62, joined Feb. 2014 online now!	I have been reading several books on obscure Royal families of Europe. One such family lived in France but ruled southern Italy. They kind of supplied women for the Royal families of France and England. One such lady writes about an arranged marriage that never goes well. The setting is the 100 Years War on top of a minor Civil War in England. [Edited 12/31/2015 1:23:34 PM ]
12/31/2015 2:01:39 PM	Can you generate chemistry if it does not occur instantaneously?
cavie59 Enid, OK 56, joined Feb. 2010	Quote from pagal17: cavie...puhleeze! I've spent months with some nice guys and realized they deserved someone who would be crazy about them. I have tried. I've had two powerful chemical connections in the past. You can't fit a square peg through a triangle. I've also had to gracefully accept equal rejection as well. Not all women fit under your generalized blanket assessment. It's not fair to the other person. Do you want someone who is kinda, sorta attracted to you? Would you be happy with that? That is the problem, "Nice Guys" will never get a woman hot. They are too dependable, and stable, there is no thrill. Women want that THRILL, no matter what. As for wanting someone that is kinda, sorta attracted to me, that will never happen. You see I do not posses the good looks, monetary advantage, or rough edges that attract women. In fact I lead a very boring life.

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