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4/3/2016 9:23:50 AM How screwed are you?  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,530)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014




I've got a laptop left of me. I don't think you can kill zombies with a laptop.




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4/3/2016 9:24:53 AM How screwed are you?  

creepinggeisha
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,344)
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015


I got a carpet cleaner. Lol

4/3/2016 9:25:56 AM How screwed are you?  

jer3552
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,518)
Vale, OR
61, joined Oct. 2013


i got my trusty sawed off shotgun here and women are always kicking in my door to have their way with me

4/3/2016 9:26:37 AM How screwed are you?  

ohdannyboy59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,782)
Arlington, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012


I'd be out of coffee.

Plenty screwed.



4/3/2016 9:27:04 AM How screwed are you?  
walt_hallow
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,845)
Lexington, KY
62, joined Nov. 2014




4/3/2016 9:27:55 AM How screwed are you?  
idliketotalk
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,579)
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013


a house plant, there is a game called Plants and Zombies I've heard of.

4/3/2016 9:30:09 AM How screwed are you?  

jer3552
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,518)
Vale, OR
61, joined Oct. 2013


playing would offer him a toke

4/3/2016 9:30:17 AM How screwed are you?  

candy0426
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,755)
Newtown, PA
48, joined Aug. 2014


I have a Bic Pen.

He's screwed!

4/3/2016 9:31:47 AM How screwed are you?  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,530)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


Quote from jer3552:
playing would offer him a toke




4/3/2016 9:33:19 AM How screwed are you?  

gothygoogoo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,956)
Red Bluff, CA
59, joined Feb. 2015


i am sitting here with a co2bb pistol in the small of my back right now!
i use it to chase the little bastard neighborhood dogs out of here! little corksoakers go right through the fence!

i would use the bb pistol to shoot at the eyes of the zombies while i walked 2 feet and grabbed both of my loaded 22 rifles - each with a 10 shot banana clip on them...

if i had a couple of seconds more
i would grab the machette and meat cleaver that are sitting in my greenhouse just a few feet away from me...



4/3/2016 9:50:48 AM How screwed are you?  

thebigugly0
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,711)
Kent, OH
45, joined Sep. 2012


Depends on how far left I am allowed.

To my immediate left, a CD rack. No good.

Two feet beyond that is to portable heaters, good but not great.

Just inside the bedroom is my Mossberg 12 gauge and my Taurus .44. That'll work.

4/3/2016 9:54:22 AM How screwed are you?  

fairymaiden
Over 2,000 Posts (2,517)
Bristol, CT
49, joined Mar. 2014


I have a treadmill to my left which I am trying to force myself on to. I suppose if I could pick this thing up and smash him with it he'd be the one that was screwed.

4/3/2016 9:55:48 AM How screwed are you?  

damnsnhere
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,228)
Trussville, AL
45, joined Feb. 2016


couple pistols in the drawer to my left.. he's toast.

4/3/2016 10:00:27 AM How screwed are you?  
condor_0000
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,333)
Tampa, FL
58, joined Feb. 2013


The zombie dude is toast. I've got my trusty Star Wars The Force Awakens Kylo Ren Deluxe Electronic Lightsaber sitting right here and ready for action.



4/3/2016 10:02:29 AM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


I'm not wasting my booze and cocaine..

4/3/2016 10:05:23 AM How screwed are you?  
movez2themusic
Over 1,000 Posts (1,850)
FukunoFukuno
Japan
49, joined Feb. 2016


He's a gonner - Buck knife (gotta sharpen it, thanks for the reminder)in top drawer and heavy steel lamp on top .. Knock it off its a** and grab the buck.

Damn mess Good thing I did not clean the carpets yet

4/3/2016 10:07:11 AM How screwed are you?  

easttowest72
Over 2,000 Posts (2,044)
Bremen, GA
44, joined Sep. 2014


I have a 38 pistol but it's on my right. What can I say I'm right handed. Or I'll splash him with my hot coffee.

4/3/2016 10:08:07 AM How screwed are you?  

creepinggeisha
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,344)
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015


My dog is to my left.

Not sure if that would be a weapon or a snack.

Lol

4/3/2016 10:09:55 AM How screwed are you?  

lurky_lurker
Norcross, GA
40, joined Feb. 2016


Bacon on the left side of my plate

Toast on the right side of my plate

Eggs in the middle

Plastic spork in my hand

Yep, I'm "toast"

4/3/2016 10:14:03 AM How screwed are you?  

gothygoogoo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,956)
Red Bluff, CA
59, joined Feb. 2015


where's butter boy
when a woman needs him!!!

4/3/2016 10:15:17 AM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


That f**ker has to get past my pig first...

4/3/2016 10:16:49 AM How screwed are you?  

fairymaiden
Over 2,000 Posts (2,517)
Bristol, CT
49, joined Mar. 2014


Do you really have a pig? Like a little pot bellied pig or a full grown one?

4/3/2016 10:18:48 AM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


She's about 10 years old now, and only cute to me..

4/3/2016 10:19:21 AM How screwed are you?  
jakebearr
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,154)
Simi Valley, CA
52, joined Sep. 2013


Quote from creepinggeisha:
I got a carpet cleaner. Lol



Rug doctor steam and mad ...

4/3/2016 10:20:50 AM How screwed are you?  

imn0tphoto
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,838)
Minneapolis, MN
26, joined Mar. 2013


I'm very large Hoard of weapons

4/3/2016 10:22:15 AM How screwed are you?  
movez2themusic
Over 1,000 Posts (1,850)
FukunoFukuno
Japan
49, joined Feb. 2016


Quote from jakebearr:
Rug doctor steam and mad ...


Tell that creep to come clean my carpets then ... She has me blocked ...

4/3/2016 11:24:49 AM How screwed are you?  
sinceresammy
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,165)
Dayton, OH
61, joined Mar. 2014


The OP should invite him in. He's the best she'll ever do!

4/3/2016 11:29:21 AM How screwed are you?  

dances_in_woods
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,402)
Henderson, TX
49, joined Mar. 2011


I've got a machete standing against left side of desk, so I think I've got a fighting chance...

4/3/2016 11:30:27 AM How screwed are you?  

imn0tphoto
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,838)
Minneapolis, MN
26, joined Mar. 2013


I believe that

4/3/2016 11:32:35 AM How screwed are you?  

mary__me
Over 1,000 Posts (1,621)
Lake City, AR
53, joined Mar. 2014


My purse.

Oh wait. My taser is in there. Imma be OK.

4/3/2016 11:36:37 AM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


Quote from dances_in_woods:
I've got a machete standing against left side of desk, so I think I've got a fighting chance...


Bishes got blades.. How do they expect to ever get raped??

4/3/2016 11:39:08 AM How screwed are you?  

hippo65
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,949)
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
online now!


I am screwed..

4/3/2016 11:40:51 AM How screwed are you?  
sarahgoldsmith
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,683)
Norfolk, VA
45, joined Jan. 2014


Zombies don't exist. But if it's just another bad human being, a burglar, I would defend myself.

Zombie = a decayed human being that can't run. They can't even walk fast because they are all decayed. Their bodies are a bunch of dust & decaying flesh held together by whatever. And humans are suppose to be afraid of them. But they can't move that fast. They are dragging their feet to get everywhere. They move very very slowly.

I will capture one of the zombie. Tie them up & study them to see what make them weak & what kill them. Then feed a whole bunch of zombies the chemical that will kill them.

Vampires do not exist. The people who created the vampire story don't know about blood diseases or aids. Aids didn't exist back then in the year 1800 in Hungary. The vampire story was originally from Hungary. Try sucking the blood of a person with blood disease or with aids. You will end up dying. You won't live forever.

Being white you have a lot going against you. White people are not as attractive as other minority groups. White people have no lips, no ass, & they aged a lot faster than other ethnic groups. You are screwed if you are white anyway since white people are born with a physical defect: no lips & no ass. They are born with a genetic defect too. They aged very very quickly.

4/3/2016 11:41:53 AM How screwed are you?  
flyfish77
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,982)
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014


p*ssy a** zombie shit,i hate it,there dead allready,there allways makin scary movies around old town conyers,they all are p*ssy stuff an not worth it,why do zombies wear helmets..there dead allready.

4/3/2016 11:43:01 AM How screwed are you?  

enigmaathand
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,974)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


To my left is a set of 3' steel bolt cutters. I can improvise that to being a melee weapon.

4/3/2016 11:43:59 AM How screwed are you?  

creepinggeisha
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,344)
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015


Sometimes ya just wanna..



Ya know?

4/3/2016 11:55:31 AM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


Quote from sarahgoldsmith:
Zombies don't exist. But if it's just another bad human being, a burglar, I would defend myself.

Zombie = a decayed human being that can't run. They can't even walk fast because they are all decayed. Their bodies are a bunch of dust & decaying flesh held together by whatever. And humans are suppose to be afraid of them. But they can't move that fast. They are dragging their feet to get everywhere. They move very very slowly.

I will capture one of the zombie. Tie them up & study them to see what make them weak & what kill them. Then feed a whole bunch of zombies the chemical that will kill them.

Vampires do not exist. The people who created the vampire story don't know about blood diseases or aids. Aids didn't exist back then in the year 1800 in Hungary. The vampire story was originally from Hungary. Try sucking the blood of a person with blood disease or with aids. You will end up dying. You won't live forever.

Being white you have a lot going against you. White people are not as attractive as other minority groups. White people have no lips, no ass, & they aged a lot faster than other ethnic groups. You are screwed if you are white anyway since white people are born with a physical defect: no lips & no ass. They are born with a genetic defect too. They aged very very quickly.



Were you born a f**kin idiot, or did it grow on you over a period of time??

4/3/2016 11:57:19 AM How screwed are you?  
bandit__geezer
Over 2,000 Posts (3,377)
FujianFujian
China
57, joined Oct. 2015


I'll be okay.

4/3/2016 11:57:45 AM How screwed are you?  

imn0tphoto
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,838)
Minneapolis, MN
26, joined Mar. 2013


I'm pretty sure the zombies are real

4/3/2016 11:58:48 AM How screwed are you?  

gothygoogoo
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,956)
Red Bluff, CA
59, joined Feb. 2015


there's
a
couple
living on the next street over from me...


i think...

4/3/2016 11:59:32 AM How screwed are you?  

hippo65
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,949)
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
online now!


Isn't it ironic how I am watching
Resident Evil right now?

4/3/2016 12:00:11 PM How screwed are you?  
movez2themusic
Over 1,000 Posts (1,850)
FukunoFukuno
Japan
49, joined Feb. 2016


Quote from kinderbtch:
Were you born a f**kin idiot, or did it grow on you over a period of time??





I have that one blocked .. her drivel makes me angry

4/3/2016 12:02:13 PM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


Quote from gothygoogoo:
there's
a
couple
living on the next street over from me...


i think...


That's probably where Sarahgoldsmith lives..

4/3/2016 12:03:28 PM How screwed are you?  

iam_resurrected
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,585)
Reno, NV
45, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from kinderbtch:
Were you born a f**kin idiot, or did it grow on you over a period of time??




I don't believe in the being born that way so that b*tch willingly became who she is

4/3/2016 12:03:45 PM How screwed are you?  

imn0tphoto
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,838)
Minneapolis, MN
26, joined Mar. 2013


You guys are morons zombies are not alive
 they don't live anywhere

That's why they call them Walking Dead

4/3/2016 12:05:06 PM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


Quote from movez2themusic:


I have that one blocked .. her drivel makes me angry



She sounds like f**kin Bumble Bee gone wild..

4/3/2016 12:15:54 PM How screwed are you?  

hippo65
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,949)
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013
online now!


Quote from imn0tphoto:
You guys are morons zombies are not alive
 they don't live anywhere

That's why they call them Walking Dead

How do they walk if they are not alive?
How do they grab you?
See you? Hear you? Bite you?

4/3/2016 12:17:06 PM How screwed are you?  

imn0tphoto
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,838)
Minneapolis, MN
26, joined Mar. 2013


I'm not a scientist

4/3/2016 12:20:11 PM How screwed are you?  
TheSpazRaz
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,526)
New York, NY
37, joined Dec. 2015


Quote from condor_0000:
The zombie dude is toast. I've got my trusty Star Wars The Force Awakens Kylo Ren Deluxe Electronic Lightsaber sitting right here and ready for action.




This is something Heather would definitely add to her utensil collection.

4/3/2016 12:21:11 PM How screwed are you?  

mustangwriter
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,148)
Boerne, TX
55, joined Nov. 2009


My immediate left?

My Royal Daulton Merlin mug.
It is full of pens and pencils tho.

4/3/2016 12:23:03 PM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


Quote from imn0tphoto:
I'm not a scientist


We gathered that...

4/3/2016 12:24:51 PM How screwed are you?  

iam_resurrected
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,585)
Reno, NV
45, joined Jul. 2014


picture of my parents in a frame that would be a good Frisbee if needed to be

4/3/2016 12:27:31 PM How screwed are you?  
sarahgoldsmith
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,683)
Norfolk, VA
45, joined Jan. 2014


For those of you that believe zombies do exist, I have some fairy dust for you. Sprinkle some fairy dust on that zombie & turn him into a beautiful flower. For the lonely ladies, turn that zombie into a good looking, sexy, hot, handsome young man, so you can have some hot sex with him. LOL


Since we are talking about make believe, right? So let's sprinkle some fairy dust on those zombies & turn them into hot looking, handsome young men, so the lonely ladies can have sex with them. Hahaha!

So all the lonely ladies will stop coming to DH forums, & spend their free time having some hot sex with a handsome young man. LOL

Fairy dust = is magical dust from the Disney fairy movies. You can sprinkle the dust & wish for anything you want & your wish will come true.



[Edited 4/3/2016 12:28:44 PM ]

4/3/2016 12:28:38 PM How screwed are you?  

creepinggeisha
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,344)
Beverly Hills, CA
42, joined Oct. 2015


Well if you exist the belief in zombies can't be that far fetched.




4/3/2016 12:29:32 PM How screwed are you?  
kinderbtch
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,832)
Knoxville, TN
53, joined Feb. 2015


I think Scoobs ODed on fairy dust..

4/3/2016 12:32:46 PM How screwed are you?  

pdforone
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,073)
Litchfield, OH
64, joined Jul. 2010


My attack dog is on the couch to my left, that dude wouldn't make it up the drive without me getting a warning! But then he might want to play with the guest!

He is not a hound, but likes female visitors best!

I have two quad canes within arms reach to my left! I can to octodad on him?

4/3/2016 12:37:53 PM How screwed are you?  

enigmaathand
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,974)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


@ KB: he OD on Twinkies and King Dongs.

4/3/2016 1:38:26 PM How screwed are you?  

celyn67
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,144)
San Antonio, TX
49, joined Jan. 2016


My purse is to the left of me, so I'd be really screwed.

4/3/2016 1:40:30 PM How screwed are you?  
movez2themusic
Over 1,000 Posts (1,850)
FukunoFukuno
Japan
49, joined Feb. 2016


I'm jumping off the balcony and my old BF PB (my boston terrier) better not wiggle on the way down

4/3/2016 1:42:29 PM How screwed are you?  

enigmaathand
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,974)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Just so we are aware, I will throw some of you into the horde, to save my cat from being a snack.