| 9/15/2008 9:19:17 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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camogirl_1961
Saint Helens, OR
age: 47
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Booty call, or he actually has regrets. So sad, too bad, he had the chance and blew it
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| 9/15/2008 10:36:32 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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fallnstar
Miami, FL
age: 48
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Is he a patalogical liar ? Sounds like it.. I don't think he has a woman, but IF he does he is NOt happy with her. Maybe he is getting therapy and they put him on some medication
that is working well for him.. Or he has finally realize what a wonderful woman, mother you are.. And is thinking of getting back w/ you... 
I have read many of yoUr post, and you are a very smart woman .. Your inner voice
isn't telling you anything ? The only thing that scares me is, if he is a pathalogical liar... I would be very careful...
Best of luck, and much happiness  
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| 9/16/2008 1:01:50 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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bjk123
Layton, UT
age: 51
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My bet is that he's showing he's a decent father to not lose visitation rights and to prevent you from relocating them.
Be appreciative for what he actually does, but be very careful as well.
I agree, my ex did the same when I relocated from Wa to Utah- last minute negotiations almost cost me my job here as he had a court order refusing to let me leave the state-
Be very careful, check with your lawyer on the legalities of the move.
Better safe than sorry IMO
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| 9/16/2008 6:53:47 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50
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if he said ok about the move and you have the kids
I would get that in writing threw the lawyers First! Also all visitations set up..who pays what etc. Most times its 50/50 for travel expenses for the kids to see the other parent.
Again get this legally done first
until you do you wont know what to trust or believe
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| 9/16/2008 6:38:02 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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satinsky2
Charlotte, NC
age: 59
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He wants a booty call girl
This is so true! Believe it, that is what he really wants. No need to try to analyze anything.
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| 9/16/2008 6:44:23 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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busygirl1970
Montgomery, AL
age: 38
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Maybe he is just accepting the situation, time will tell, sit back and be 
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| 9/16/2008 8:41:43 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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keykeper34
Boise, ID
age: 54
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Maybe he is just trying to impress he new squeeze.
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| 9/17/2008 8:04:18 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36
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Maybe he is just trying to impress he new squeeze.
I thank all of you for sharing your view I really do.
I just know for a fact that I am dealing with a psychological vampire here.
I'm very happy for him to move on and find a new emotional and mental blood source.
My fear is that it really is my responsibility to make sure that in his quest to
nourish himself that I don't allow more harm to come to the very real and mortal
lives the children and I are trying to live.
This is not a man who operates from love and emotion.
Either he has to be admitting failure which a narcissist would never do
or he's setting the stage for a display of great power.
I'm going to take the very real legal advice of those given here.
It is the only way to be sure and know for a fact what to believe.
I will never allow myself to fall victim again to the image a man presents
without looking behind it to understand and know the motive.
Thank you all again. 
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| 9/17/2008 8:11:08 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 44
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Yes as someone else stated I've read your comments in several post, you seem to be a very smart women, BE CAREFUL, only you know this man...
I missed the part about moving hopefully you know the laws in Michigan I know in Ohio I couldn't take my kids farther than 150 miles without permission, so when I moved they chose to stay with their father. OK changes everything maybe he is trying to STOP you from moving thus now he is trying to prove LOOK AT ME...so he can get the kids
[Edited 9/17/2008 8:16:32 AM]
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| 9/17/2008 10:34:02 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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breid
Charlotte, NC
age: 29
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yes
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| 9/17/2008 5:04:01 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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luvisyou08
Pleasantville, NJ
age: 26
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unfortunatley,it probaly is .most men father or no father have selfish motives.
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| 9/17/2008 6:03:20 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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oliveoil2
Cuba, MO
age: 47
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yes,you just do not see it YET... never move, keep firm grip on RED LINE,
he merely having EPISODE of confusion.
he be back to himself in about HOUR,lol
your EX became that for your own good,
stand your ground,
keep him far away as possible,
yes, you can not be somewhere at same time,
get sitter to help, NOT EX...
why couldn't boys stay at school? or get one of other mothers to watch them?
so you in turn can take daughter home? in exchange for help...
[Edited 9/17/2008 6:13:56 PM]
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| 9/17/2008 7:54:49 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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satinsky2
Charlotte, NC
age: 59
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This is not a man who operates from love and emotion.
Either he has to be admitting failure which a narcissist would never do
or he's setting the stage for a display of great power.
You are a very intelligent woman. It is all about power, control, and ownership with this type. I know I was married to a narcissisist also. It is always about Them. Winning is of the utmost importance, big or small victory it does not matter. Don't be surprised even when you are divorced from him that he tries to have an intimate relationship with you. After all, in his eyes you were his property and he wants it to continue that way no matter what. I wish the best for you. Keep your courage and be happy
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| 9/17/2008 8:05:26 PM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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hypnotic_1981
Port Charlotte, FL
age: 27
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Ok I'm feeling like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!
In the last 2 1/2 weeks the EX has done more for the kids than he EVER has.
He's NEVER done the school shopping thing, this year he actually shelled out
$500 of his own in addition to the $1,000 I spent on back to school stuff.
My daughter has wanted a new bed for the last 7 months, last week he goes out and
just gets her one! 
Today I find myself in a jam because I can't be at 2 places at once. Need to get the boys off the bus and be at a meeting with the cheer-leading coach at the same time. He offers
to get the boys. When I return he's already helped them get their homework finished!
He's never helped with homework that was always my job. He didn't yell at any of us like he usually does. Oh on top of that, he made my last car payment today and took his name off of it. I didn't ask him to do that at all.
Wednesday is the first football game of the season at school. He's announced that he's taking the day off work so that he don't miss the game because it starts at 3 pm!
He NEVER misses work for the kids! It's always about him and his career. That was always
my responsibility.
If I could only express how he was and how he didn't like me and the kids. I've always
been the one to do all of the parental work. Period!
Is he dying or am I about to get socked with some sort of legal papers suing me for
soul custody?
 
HE DEFINITLY has something up his sleeve..and I'm banking on YOU! He's probably tryin' to get back together with you. Men put in effort big time when they want you big time..so thats probably what it is! Now he could have had a change of heart and realized he needed to put more effort in..but I doubt it! He's wanting you!
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| 9/18/2008 12:35:21 AM |
When the EX starts being nice, is it a set up? |
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stylistic
Rockville, MD
age: 45
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Ok I'm feeling like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!
In the last 2 1/2 weeks the EX has done more for the kids than he EVER has.
He's NEVER done the school shopping thing, this year he actually shelled out
$500 of his own in addition to the $1,000 I spent on back to school stuff.
My daughter has wanted a new bed for the last 7 months, last week he goes out and
just gets her one!
Today I find myself in a jam because I can't be at 2 places at once. Need to get the boys off the bus and be at a meeting with the cheer-leading coach at the same time. He offers
to get the boys. When I return he's already helped them get their homework finished!
He's never helped with homework that was always my job. He didn't yell at any of us like he usually does. Oh on top of that, he made my last car payment today and took his name off of it. I didn't ask him to do that at all.
Wednesday is the first football game of the season at school. He's announced that he's taking the day off work so that he don't miss the game because it starts at 3 pm!
He NEVER misses work for the kids! It's always about him and his career. That was always
my responsibility.
If I could only express how he was and how he didn't like me and the kids. I've always
been the one to do all of the parental work. Period!
Is he dying or am I about to get socked with some sort of legal papers suing me for
soul custody?
You know if I were you and wanted to know what was going on, I would first tell him how nice it was of him to have done the kind things for the kids and you. That you noticed the change in him and how great it is that he has made this change. Tell him what ever he is doing in his life now is having a wounderful affect on him. Them just ask him what's happened to have this effect. It could be anything but if its something that has changed him permanently, this is a good thing, for you and your kids.It will make your/his future relationships with others easier. Try to look at what is going on now and not the past....Actions speak volumes.
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