| 9/23/2008 3:27:26 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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It is about looks. Don't any of you lie and say that you'd meet a butt a** ugly person and fall in love. Granted you may have met someone you were not attracted to at first, but later because of their personality you did fall in love and found yourself attracted to them. But, I think online kinda screws that up for us. We are attracted to their personality (if no pic) then meet and go one of two directions. We can either instantly be attracted to both looks and personality or we decide if the bad looks are tolerable because of the personality. I have felt chemistry with men that in the beginning I wasnt attracted to. I've felt chemistry with guys that are to young, men that are to old. I've felt chemistry with women. And no I'm not gay!! That kind of chemistry is more of a hmmmm kinship? bond? oneness? I dunno. Haven't you met people that you just instantly like, and feel close to?? You can be in a conversation with a group, but, look at that particular person and smile, knowing they relate? Could we say maybe we knew them in a past life? No, not logical huh? All I can answer is this for me. I've met men and it not have a lot to do with looks, but it's sometimes their eyes and smile. Chemistry is that spark, that little bolt of unseen electricity that flashes from your eyes down to your toes. And it sets off a smile. That then is the prelude to the next thoughts of sexual encounters with him. My love of my life, I was not in the least attracted to the man. But everytime I looked into his eyes I felt that damn electrical charge. Hmmm go figure. I've met men that I thought were really good lookin but when your eyes met that charge wasn't there. Now that I am totally confused I hope you are also.
I don't think everything in life is explainable or should be explained. Some things are more fun when we think of them as magical.
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| 9/23/2008 3:28:35 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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bubba19682007
Indianapolis, IN
age: 40 online now!
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hey, I know Im not an ugly guy, I also know I'm not a pretty boy either. I wouldnt wanna be. most of them could care less about a woman past getting his nut. they make it harder for us guys that couldve treated them right. i saw in another thread how to see past the charm. Guys have messed women up because they were a**holes, now all the women on there talk about how they dont give em a chance or that all guys are like that, or that they only want one thing. It pisses me off cause the ones of us out here that reslly are trying to fin the real thing are only lumped in with the jerks.
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| 9/23/2008 6:57:27 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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sandandsea
Stanfield, NC
age: 48
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So chemistry is just sexual attraction?
Pffft......that can't be right.
That's exactly what chemistry is: sexual attraction.
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| 9/23/2008 7:27:40 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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"That's exactly what chemistry is: sexual attraction."
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If that's the case then why do an alarming number of people state that humor, intelligence, and "being sweet" are so much more important?
The only conclusion is that the arbitrary factor, "chemistry" (which is so undefined until a face-to-face happens)....is the "get out of jail free" card and allows a psychological guilt-free escape.
You can't ignore the number of times this phenomenon is posted.
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| 9/23/2008 7:30:17 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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tocoolcowan
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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Sexuality is only part of it!!!!! The rest is up to our higher power!!!
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| 9/23/2008 7:31:39 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 86
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Magnetic attraction!!!!!!!!!
You know when magnets attract?
You know when they repel?
That is life....
bring the magnetic good things to yourself, with Karma...
know what you want...and accept nothing less than the
real person, enamoured with compassion and deep feelings.
Why accept a substitute for real value?
Winesong
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| 9/23/2008 8:18:22 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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That's musical and lovely.
.........didn't make sense to me........
but it was sweet.
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| 9/23/2008 9:55:21 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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sandandsea
Stanfield, NC
age: 48
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"That's exactly what chemistry is: sexual attraction."
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If that's the case then why do an alarming number of people state that humor, intelligence, and "being sweet" are so much more important?
The only conclusion is that the arbitrary factor, "chemistry" (which is so undefined until a face-to-face happens)....is the "get out of jail free" card and allows a psychological guilt-free escape.
You can't ignore the number of times this phenomenon is posted.
People say those things coz it sounds nicer than "must turn me on."
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| 9/24/2008 5:42:00 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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So the technical term would be fibbing.......
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| 9/24/2008 6:32:55 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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ccherie
Salem, OR
age: 54
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I have been thinking that maybe "Chemistry" is the ability to see someone as "Real"....I am not sure how to say this so I will give an experience....
I had been communicating with someone on line for a while...we met for a date, we were comfortable and got along great. I am NOT photogenic, and he took a picture of me on his cell...It was horrible and the look on his face was priceless. He could not match the picture with the person he was with. Gentleman that he was, he said it must have been just the light!! However, it did not change how he saw me in person. It was just that the moment he saw the picture, he saw me differently as we see on line etc. The person, which is me, is the one that he was attracted too.
This personal attraction, is not always instant ... it can grow. Having to much variety can dull our senses...and make it harder for us to sense chemistry right away. Sort of like a kid in a candy store... but if given full reign, they will eventually become sick.
So while instant Chemistry is great.. It would not be a deal breaker for me.
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| 9/24/2008 6:37:04 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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firstlight
Strasburg, VA
age: 48 online now!
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To me chemistry is not about looks or sexual attraction alone.
Chemistry is the ease I feel when I am with someone.
It is laughter and smirks.
It's a wink and a knowing look.
It's a healthy debate that nobody wins.
It's a shared passion mutual or singular.
When I can relate to someone on these levels and truly enjoy that person the physical and sexual attraction manifest themselves.
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| 9/24/2008 7:22:22 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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To me chemistry is not about looks or sexual attraction alone.
Chemistry is the ease I feel when I am with someone.
It is laughter and smirks.
It's a wink and a knowing look.
It's a healthy debate that nobody wins.
It's a shared passion mutual or singular.
When I can relate to someone on these levels and truly enjoy that person the physical and sexual attraction manifest themselves.
So in your opinion, chemistry can be had before a face-to-face?
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| 9/24/2008 12:39:03 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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firstlight
Strasburg, VA
age: 48 online now!
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Absolutely I think that chemistry can be had before a face to face. I have established an early rapport many times through emails or phone conversations. Sometimes they do not translate to face to face, which, to me, is more of a mystery than any other chemistry question.
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| 9/24/2008 12:44:09 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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tlc4359
Knoxville, TN
age: 51
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The word "chemistry" gets thrown around a lot.
I see it most frequently in the "Oh, we went on a date but there was no chemistry" types posts.
It's an awfully ambiguous term, isn't it? I mean it is, almost by definition, something that cannot be defined.
Sooooo......if two people meet.....and they have these checklists.....and filters.....and background checks....and yadda, yadda, yadda......beforehand that all pointed to success......
.....then what is this undefinable phenomenon which cannot be determined until a face-to-face happens?
There is nothing undefinable about physical chemistry and the same is definitely not a phenomenon. If you've never experienced this chemistry between you and another, you'll never understand a written explanation. Did you look up the definition of chemistry? 
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| 9/24/2008 1:00:56 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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"There is nothing undefinable about physical chemistry and the same is definitely not a phenomenon. If you've never experienced this chemistry between you and another, you'll never understand a written explanation. Did you look up the definition of chemistry? "
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I was giving the benefit of the doubt to the 99% of the people that claim physical attraction is not as important as humor, intelligence, and sweet disposition.
If I didn't give the benefit of the doubt.........and this WASN'T a phenomenon.....then that would make many, many heart-felt posters very hypocritical.
I'm sure you probably didn't realize that so I'll forgive the snarkiness.
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