9/23/2008 11:52:56 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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The word "chemistry" gets thrown around a lot.
I see it most frequently in the "Oh, we went on a date but there was no chemistry" types posts.
It's an awfully ambiguous term, isn't it? I mean it is, almost by definition, something that cannot be defined.
Sooooo......if two people meet.....and they have these checklists.....and filters.....and background checks....and yadda, yadda, yadda......beforehand that all pointed to success......
.....then what is this undefinable phenomenon which cannot be determined until a face-to-face happens?
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9/23/2008 11:58:10 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35 online now!
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Women know in 5 seconds if they will f**k you... that's what they are talking about.
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9/23/2008 12:01:02 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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znorth
Rockford, MI
age: 36 online now!
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I'm not allowed to play with chemistry sets anymore cause of a small incident...
Oh you mean human chemistry... How the hell would I know about that?
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9/23/2008 12:02:51 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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angel0018
Altamonte Springs, FL
age: 21 online now!
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Women know in 5 seconds if they will f**k you... that's what they are talking about.
I hate to agree when it's so crudely expressed... but it is true for me. If it's not there I won't be dating him again..
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9/23/2008 12:17:47 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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lol........okay........but what IS it?
Everyone keeps referring to it......depending on it.......reiterating the importance of it.........
........but what is it?
(I have my theories).
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9/23/2008 12:20:25 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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countrysweet77
Bordelonville, LA
age: 47
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its just the way you click with a person that underlying sexual tention
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9/23/2008 12:23:46 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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hmmm.... chemistry..... it's like do I think you're hot...
would I want to kiss you, would I want you to kiss me...
do I want to feel your hands on my body, and mine on yours...
do I want to know what you look like naked, do I want you to see me naked...
can I imagine our limbs entwined in passionate bliss...
do I want to swing from the chandeliers with you.....
that's kind of chemistry...
I think, anyways.
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9/23/2008 12:28:11 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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hmmm.... chemistry..... it's like do I think you're hot...
would I want to kiss you, would I want you to kiss me...
do I want to feel your hands on my body, and mine on yours...
do I want to know what you look like naked, do I want you to see me naked...
can I imagine our limbs entwined in passionate bliss...
do I want to swing from the chandeliers with you.....
that's kind of chemistry...
I think, anyways.
So chemistry is just sexual attraction?
Pffft......that can't be right.
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9/23/2008 12:28:58 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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its just the way you click with a person that underlying sexual tention
The term "Clicking with someone" is just as ambiguous as "chemistry".
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9/23/2008 12:29:43 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35 online now!
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Pheromones
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9/23/2008 12:30:23 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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So chemistry is just sexual attraction?
Pffft......that can't be right.
can't be right? OK... well, I guess if I want to talk to you, get to know you, etc...
but the bottom line is that if there isn't chemistry there that will eventually get us into the bedroom, then we are just friends. And platonic friends don't have chemistry.... or they do and they ignore it in order to remain friends.
Personally, I think chemistry is attractiveness... which, yes, leads to thinking about physical intimacy. It's attraction
But I could be wrong.
[Edited 9/23/2008 12:33:49 PM]
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9/23/2008 12:32:38 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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How Love Works
by Lee Ann Obringer
The Chemistry of Love
There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Of course, estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area (see How Sex Works). Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.
That initial giddiness that comes when we're first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and well-known love researcher from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. She also says, "The human body releases the c*cktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature."
Researchers are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people's brains when they look at a photograph of their object of affection. According to Helen Fisher, a well-known love researcher and an anthropologist at Rutgers University, what they see in those scans during that "crazed, can't-think-of-anything-but stage of romance" -- the attraction stage -- is the biological drive to focus on one person. The scans showed increased blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine -- associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.
Rather a technical explanation, but true. Chemistry is the uncontrollable, lust kind of feeling that is not a choice, where all of the other things you've checked out ahead of time are those that you want there when the early, chemistry stage wears off.
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9/23/2008 12:37:26 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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shegotit
Houston, TX
age: 25
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Chemistry is hard to explain....it happens though. Men often think when women speak of love at first sight they are talking about actual LOVE.....but that is not the case. You see if we see a guy and he is attractive the first part is pretty much taking care of, and if he matches us in wit, intelect, etc. then thats were chemistry starts. It is basically a nice way of turning a nice guy down. I rather say we have no chemistry then to say.... Im just not into you.
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9/23/2008 12:38:00 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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can't be right? OK... well, I guess if I want to talk to you, get to know you, etc...
but the bottom line is that if there isn't chemistry there that will eventually get us into the bedroom, then we are just friends. And platonic friends don't have chemistry.... or they do and they ignore it in order to remain friends.
Personally, I think chemistry is attractiveness... which, yes, leads to thinking about physical intimacy.
But I could be wrong.
Ok.......maybe you are right......but if that's the case, then let's follow it through to the logical conclusion........
Everyone....try to keep up.
I've read thousands of posts on what attracts someone recently (I'm sure we all have).
A statistically insignififant number of them noted attractiveness as being important.
Virtually every time I have ever heard the term "chemistry" on this site, it was the, "We met, but there was no chemistry" story.....and there are lots of these out there.
So taking both of the above into account, I can only come to the conclusion that looks ARE actually more important than people will admit and the ambiguous "lack of chemistry" is the escape card people use to terminate it when they are find the other unattractive. It's a nice way of bailing....while never admitting the shallowness and padding the other's ego.
My positive outlook on people and dating just got socked in the nose.
[Edited 9/23/2008 12:43:25 PM]
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9/23/2008 12:44:34 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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It is basically a nice way of turning a nice guy down. I rather say we have no chemistry then to say.... Im just not into you.
See?
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