| 9/25/2008 3:53:40 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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I understand what you are saying.....
....and you've called to attentions several "face to face" factors that I hadn't even thought of....
The only part I have to look at a little sideways is the amount of impact this (very comprehensive) list might have. There's body language, PDA intimacy, hotness, and a few others. If I posted a thread and listed only those things and asked how important they were.....my gut is telling me most people would fall on the "not so much" side of the ledger.
YET !!!
Chemistry still seems to be the overwhelming number one factor in terms of even a second date.
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| 9/25/2008 4:01:34 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 46
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Chemistry still seems to be the overwhelming number one factor in terms of even a second date.
Well if you think about it... why wouldn't it be? I mean... unless you're looking for just companionship (which plenty are) where you don't need chemistry... why would you go on a second date with someone you didn't have it with? Well... unless you were just playing with them.
I'm of the believe that it's either there, or it isn't. That's been my experience. As much as I've WANTED chemistry with someone... if it wasn't there from the start... it didn't happen. So, going on a second date would be a waste of everybody's time.
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| 9/25/2008 4:19:00 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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You are 100% right....
But do you agree that chemistry is defined by the list of characteristics that Forumfun noted?
[Edited 9/25/2008 4:19:16 PM]
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| 9/25/2008 4:40:40 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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cindym7878
Chelsea, MI
age: 46
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....which is another way of saying it can't be defined.......which is an excuse for NOT defining it.
Because if you do, then that would start being real about our own selfish wants and our own insecurites.
...our own selfish desires and our own insecurities....yeah...searching for someone right for me is what I'm doing, call it selfish but thats a fact of what I'm doing, then once I find him, it's all about him, us, and myself...more or less in that order...I adore the man I love. Yeah...insecurities, I think every feeling, realistic person has them.
Chemistry....it's that magical spark that cannot be defined into words that everyone would agree on....it's a personal thing.... and to me, it's oh so wonderful!!
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| 9/25/2008 4:45:38 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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bekki08
Ridgeland, MS
age: 39
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It seems that chemistry can be viewed in a number of ways actually. For me it's a combination of things... the desire to be close to that person not just sexually but intimately, wanting to know everything about that person, the feeling of contentment and comfort when we are together.
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| 9/25/2008 5:10:52 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 46
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You are 100% right...
You are 100% right...
You are 100% right...
You are 100% right...
You are 100% right...
Man... can't hear that enough!!! 
And yes... I agree with all of the list except for it "taking time". Like I said... IME, it's either been there right away... or not. It's definitely a combination of all those things, and seriously... I think attraction is the least factor. Like I said in another post... I've had amazing chemistry with someone I would never have thought in a million years I'd have it with. When that relationship ended (a couple months) was when I saw his physical attributes clearly. Gotta be a correlation there somewhere!
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| 9/25/2008 5:40:23 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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julie_wildrose
Round Rock, TX
age: 47
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chemistry????? I havent felt it in a while does it still exist??
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| 9/25/2008 6:55:37 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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eyeonheaven
Azle, TX
age: 56 online now!
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I believe there are different kinds of chemistry at least for me there are. There is Emotional, Mental, Physical and sexual chemistry. The first two can be developed before I ever meet them. If I have the emotional and mental chemistry then when we meet the physical is what I look for. Not sex but how he carries himself, how he walks, moves, sits and talks. These are all part of his physical being; to me all of this is part of his looks or make up. The sexual chemistry only happens for me when all the other chemistry is good. By reading what every one else wrote. I must be weird.
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| 9/25/2008 7:21:36 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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That's nice, but I'd like to see a post that actually "narrows" the margin.
Splitting it up into subgroups is just saying, "Hell, I don't know" on 4 possibilities instead of one.
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| 9/25/2008 8:42:42 PM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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gettinolderinmn
Grove City, MN
age: 43
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I hate to agree when it's so crudely expressed...  but it is true for me. If it's not there I won't be dating him again.. 
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| 9/26/2008 6:05:38 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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...our own selfish desires and our own insecurities....yeah...searching for someone right for me is what I'm doing, call it selfish but thats a fact of what I'm doing, then once I find him, it's all about him, us, and myself...more or less in that order...I adore the man I love. Yeah...insecurities, I think every feeling, realistic person has them.
Chemistry....it's that magical spark that cannot be defined into words that everyone would agree on....it's a personal thing.... and to me, it's oh so wonderful!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
......and there you have it.
Why put yourself out there, guys?
Why bother with emails and phones calls and effort of any sort?
No matter what investment you may make, no matter how perfect you are, no matter how much she's said she's liked you for months......evidently it's perfectly acceptable for her to call "bad chemistry" and walk away with no other explanation as to why you wasted so much time, emotion, and effort.
Screw it, guys..........we're being told that nothing matters prior to that first meeting.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Oh...I just realized.....this works both ways. I guess it's cool if let people get attached, then cut 'em off by saying, "Buh-Bye, bad chem" .......it's so easy......and so little guilt for me for being an ass.
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| 9/26/2008 7:10:15 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 46
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I get it now. You don't want "thought provoking discussions"... you don't want to "push the convo's in different directions"... you don't want to put "spins on ideas"... you want to hammer at us until somebody... anybody... says something that fits the real reason behind the post so that you can validate the opinion you had on the subject in the very first place.
Now that I know this, I'll post (or not post) accordingly.
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| 9/26/2008 7:11:14 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 46
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You'll learn not to let yourself get attached before meeting for this very reason. If you don't, you'll end up jaded by the process. It IS a choice.
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| 9/26/2008 7:14:15 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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Oh, I can get mad, too.
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| 9/26/2008 7:14:57 AM |
What is this Chemistry you speak of? |
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annbrown
Ogden, UT
age: 49
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lol........okay........but what IS it?
Everyone keeps referring to it......depending on it.......reiterating the importance of it.........
........but what is it?
(I have my theories).
It is like two magnets.......... depending on the magnets they will be forced to spread apart or they pull quickly together. 
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