| 10/9/2008 7:17:40 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
If you go out with someone and you do not feel any immediate chemistry, does that mean there never will be? Would you continue to see someone if you really liked them alot even though you feel no chemistry? Can chemistry develop?
Awesome question.
.....as much as people are saying it can't be developed, I'd have to disagree.
If I see someone for the first time, I know hardly anything about them....I don't know if I want to be with them or not.
Most people (even on here) go to a whole new level of understanding when they meet.....same thing....people start being themselves more and prior to that....you can't tell if you want to be with them or not.
Of course, many people equate "having chemisty" to "he/she was physically attractive to me"......they might as well go to a bar and just pick up people they think are attractive, because they really aren't understanding the conversation.
|
| 10/9/2008 7:20:25 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
bobbieforforums
Poultney, VT
age: 37
|
i dont think that it can. i can tell right away if its not going to work for me. jmo
|
| 10/9/2008 7:26:00 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
christycarol
Fredericksburg, VA
age: 51
|
Not in my case, I have that "second sense" when it comes to meeting someone the 1st time.
|
| 10/9/2008 7:32:47 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
Not in my case, I have that "second sense" when it comes to meeting someone the 1st time.
lol........sounds like sight if it depends on seeing them for the first time.
I'm just sayin'.
|
| 10/9/2008 7:33:44 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35 online now!
|
lol........sounds like sight if it depends on seeing them for the first time.
I'm just sayin'.
Refer to my post about 5 seconds for women..... 
|
| 10/9/2008 7:53:47 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
kellie08
Blue Bell, PA
age: 37
|
Great question:
I Believe that I know if I am attracted sexually within the first few seconds...as that is a physical thing...lust if you will. However the true chemistry comes from the combo of the physical look as well as the mental connection. My Answer would be No it can not develop over time unless there is a physical attraction first.
JMO but if a guy and I meet and I know I am physically attracted to him and then we start to talk he can become a whole lot less attractive to me. Thoughts such as "Too bad maybe I would sleep with him....if he would not talk" come to mind. If I am not physically attracted and then he starts to talk and there is a mental connection I will wonder if I could become physically attracted but honestly that does not work for me. I have tried.
|
| 10/9/2008 8:46:14 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
cutedove
Tellico Plains, TN
age: 53
|
If you go out with someone and you do not feel any immediate chemistry, does that mean there never will be? Would you continue to see someone if you really liked them alot even though you feel no chemistry? Can chemistry develop?
Yes,I think you need chemistry in order to achieve a great relationship in making love. I don't think you can NOT have it when you first meet and wait for it to develop. Like every ones here says "its either there or it's not" when you see a pic,phone call or on your first date. I've had dates that turned out to be great friends and an ex that I'm great friends with. Our marriage didn't work out because of NO chemistry. So chemistry definitely HAS to be there.
|
| 10/9/2008 8:46:16 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
I guess I've never thought of chemistry as being just a "physical attraction" thing.....maybe everyone else does.
I've dated plenty of pretty girls that I had no chemistry with...Maybe my definition is just wrong...it seems like everyone else thinks it's attractiveness.
|
| 10/9/2008 9:30:14 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40
|
Wow, interesting replies, I am not sure. I think if you absolutely know a person is not for you, chemistry probably won't develop, but I think if you are just not positive one way or the oher, it doesn't hurt to try.
|
| 10/9/2008 9:40:28 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 46
|
I think there has to be *something* there. I don't think it has to be full-blown lust chemistry, but I think you at least need to be able to imagine kissing them without being grossed out at the thought. If I can go *there*, I'll give someone that I don't have the full-blown version a chance... up to a point. I don't think I'd carry on for very long *hoping* for the chemistry to show up... but I'd give it a few dates to develop.
|
| 10/9/2008 10:17:43 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
manykisses
Tonawanda, NY
age: 50
|
Barb - Define "Chemistry."
Then again...I think no matter how you define it, feelings can grow that aren't evident when you first meet.
I can recall one instance in my life where I remember thinking after the first meeting that she would probably be a great friend, but that I would never feel any sexual attraction to her, she just wasn't my "type" - and then we did actually become friends, and by the time a few months had passed, if she had yelled "Do me!" down a canyon I would have had the both of us naked before the echo died. 
At the other end of the spectrum - I can recall another instance where the first time I saw her, I wanted to rip her clothes off and make like a bunny, even if it was right there in front of a dozen or so shocked and horrified spectators...but after I approached her and we talked for a while, I walked away at the end of the evening thinking that I had just met the world's sexiest wallflower. But circumstances were such that we were frequently around one another, and I got to know her a lot better, and found out that first impressions can be so terribly, horribly wrong that it is almost always worth taking a second look. We never did get it on in front of spectators  but we did have two children together.
And then there was the one who was beautiful beyond my wildest dreams, seductive and sexy, the kind who could walk into a bar and have ANY man in there drinking out of her shoe in like 15 minutes...and bringing her candy and flowers and ANYTHING else they thought might make her happy. Upon further review (to borrow a football term), she turned out to be a selfish little brat who was rotten in bed and that was one of her better qualities. 
So I guess chemistry can not only develop with time, it can also vanish with it.
HTH
John
|
| 10/9/2008 10:21:25 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
I gotta throw my hat in with Manykisses.....
.....and I'll add that this doesn't just apply at initial meetings....you never know exactly when you will know a person fully.
|
| 10/9/2008 10:38:32 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 50
|
I've been friends with a few guys and chemistry developed in a few instances. The big difference is that we knew one another over an extended period of time. There wasn't any real "dating" so there was no pressure. We had the opportunity to meet under normal circumstances,ie: school, work, the gym, etc. I've had wonderful male friends that I only "wished" I liked enough to take it to the next level but I was just not attracted in that way.
When you meet somebody that you found online you don't typically have the luxury of "time". Maybe you had a rapport online or on the phone but it just didn't "click" when you met face to face. OR, you found them attractive but just couldn't connect. I've often tried to give someone a second look because they were nice, intelligent, etc. However the second date confirmed what I already knew....I just didn't feel anything.
Because people we meet online are not part of our daily lives it generally requires an effort to get together. We don't see them as multi-dimensional people. Most of us, myself make an assessment or judgement pretty quickly.
I can't help but wonder "IF" some of the people we met from online were actually part of our work, social, school or sports groups would more relationships develop...
|
| 10/9/2008 10:50:14 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
Is that some sort of discrimination?
I guess it shouldn't matter, but it bothers me.
|
| 10/9/2008 10:53:44 AM |
Can chemistry be developed? |
|
not_looking
Sacramento, CA
age: 49
|
If you go out with someone and you do not feel any immediate chemistry, does that mean there never will be? Would you continue to see someone if you really liked them alot even though you feel no chemistry? Can chemistry develop?
I believe chemistry develops as you get to know a person. I also have felt the feelings of
chemistry in the first conversation. Yes I would keep seeing the person if I liked them a lot. At some point you should know if the chemistry is there. If not, you have made a great friend.
jmo
|